BLONIC ADVENTURE DO NOT STEAL
CHAPTER 1: ORIGINAL INTRODUCTION DO NOT STEAL
BLONIC and BLAILS were picking up the trash left behind by a few careless individuals. BLONIC wasn't able to catch the recalcitrant people who committed such a crime against nature. He clenched his fist around the Coca-Cola can and BLAILS sat on the forest floor with his about, seemingly carefree face, complacent and peacefully staring into the dusk. BLONIC opened his bag from BLONIC THE RESTAURANT and offered BLAILS his recipe popcorn chicken shortly after he threw out the trash left behind.
"I sure hope we can have fun today!" BLAILS took a piece of chicken.
"WE SURE WILL! WE'RE IN THE BEST PARK IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!" he waved his hands in the air showcasing the beautiful oak, pine and fir trees all around him.
"Yellowstone Park?"
"NO!" BLONIC verbally scolded. "WE'RE IN CENTRAL PARK!"
"So that's why it's mildly cold outside today."
BLONIC glanced around as he heard movement around the thicket. A squirrel quickly scurried back into the bushes in fear of his permanent, worrisome face. BLAILS seemed to have attracted a few chipmunks. BLAILS still sat upon the floor doing absolutely nothing to stop each of the animals from crawling on his fur. BLONIC shooed them away, "STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND!" he screeched.
"Those animals might carry diseases, you know."
"HOW COULD THEY MANAGE TO MOLEST YOU BLAILS?"
"It must have been the food."
"OUTDOOR ANIMALS ARE NOT PETS! THEY SHOULD BE TREATED WITH RESPECT AND NOT BE GIVEN ANY TABLE SCRAPS AS THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO DIGEST WHAT PEOPLE EAT!"
"That's exactly right."
There was a unusual sound from the trees, more animals rushed, running away from the sounds from afar.
"OH NO! THE ANIMALS ARE BEING DISTURBED WITHIN THEIR NATURAL BIOME!" BLONIC exclaimed.
The animals rushed and nearly trampled BLONIC, BLAILS and their food. After a significant clearing, they saw something so terrifying lean out of the shadows. It was a blue, yet simplistic figure… it darted back into the darkness for cover. BLONIC stood in his very usual petrified face of shock and awe, it seemed so fitting somehow.
"I wonder who that was?"
"THERE'S ONLY ONE THING THAT COULD BE THAT MENACING! IT'S A DEVIANT!"
"A what?"
"IT'S A GUY WHO PAINTS TERRIBLE PICTURES AND MAKES ANY LIVING CREATURE BEAR WITNESS TO THEM IN EXCHANGE FOR COMPLIMENTS!"
"What a horrible fate."
"WE NEED TO STOP HIM BLAILS!"
"Okay."
So BLONIC and BLAILS rushed into the forest to apprehend the Deviant. He rushed and saw to his horror a fiend beyond imagination: A Small Blue Ewok with a walkie talkie. He sweat in fear as he held his ear to a feminine voice from the machine saying: "Good work, now stop wasting time and get to the chopper before the My Little Pony Marching Band comes to wipe out Central Park!"
"That sounds fun."
"NO!" BLONIC screamed, "WE HAVE TO STOP HIM!"
"Damn, you Blonic!" the blue thing screamed. I will have my original characters finish you off and your miserable, copyright infringing existence!"
"BUT YOU'RE THE PHONY!" Blonic made a leap into the air and attempted a kick for the bear's face. Unfortunately it was blocked by a large gray-stop sign reading "Deviously Denied!" although it made a significant crack. Blonic then made a punch at the side, which was caught by the bear's paw.
"The Block-Evasion technique…I should have known you would try something like this."
"BLONIC'S THE NAME AND COPYRIGHT IS MY GAME!"
"Atea! Release a murder of tweets!" Just then, a black, rat like, elf person played an Ocarina and a million blue, generic birds swarmed BLONIC and BLAILS. "I have no time for a fair fight. I must let the Bronies consume New York." And he vanished among the birds.
"THAT'S STRANGE! HOW ARE WE SAFE?" BLONIC looked at BLAILS.
"I ordered extra fries!" he said over the thousand dead bluebirds.
"GOOD THINKING BLAILS! NOW WE CAN FOCUS OUR EFFORTS INTO SAVING CENTRAL PARK AND NEW YORK CITY!"
End Chapter 1