Lily and I, Well, Lily and I are, complicated. I love her but she will never notice. I have loved her since second year and crushed on her since first. I don't think anyone else can see that I REALLY love her. Moony thinks that I like her only because she turned me down. I mean I'm not that immature. Padfoot thinks she's really sexy and he would do her in a second, if of course I didn't like her.That one just made me hit him until he howled like the dog he is. Wormtail was just Wormtail and told me that Lily might not feel the same and that I should maybe date other people. Peter was probably the most hepfull out of the three because he actually gave me some advice. That was in third year. Two years ago. I took Pete's advice, and now I am supposedly a Player' according to Lily. But hey, now she is actually talking ,well, yelling at me.

Lily came walking into the Gryffindor Common Room followed by Rachel, her best friend. I stood and walked over to her. " Hey Lily."

She looked up at me. " What do you want Potter? I don't have time for you." She glared at me daring me to ask.

If she knew me she would know that I never turned down a dare. " Well Lily I swear it will be quicker if you agree." She snorted. In a yeah, right kind of way. " There's a Hogsmeade trip this weekend. And I thought since you never say yes it was about time and you would come to help me pick out a birthday present."

" And who, Potter, is this present for may I ask?" Lily asked, jaw clenched.

" Oh, Evans. How naive can you be. You have forgotten your own birthday!" I laughed. It was my subtle way of telling her I paid attention and that I cared.

" Oh, Potter! I would love to go! I can't believe you remembered my birthday!" Lily smiled her rare smile and I grinned back.

" Really? " I asked just to make sure this wasn't a dream.

" NO! Potter, What makes you think that just because it's my birthday that I would say yes!?" Lily shouted. I really don't understand why she yells. I mean it's not that necessary. I'm not deaf. That's what I told her. " Because, Potter. I have been saying the same thing for three years and you never seem to get it! I don't want to go out with you and I never will! I want you to leave me alone and just go about your business. You are such a player! You ask me out everyday no matter if you have a girlfriend or not! You have no respect for anyone including the professors, let alone the girls you date! Why would you expect me to want to be one of them!?"

"I..I..I..." I broke off as she turned and fled to the girls' staircase. Was I really that bad? I looked to Remus for confirmation. He just shook his head. That was all I needed. I was that bad. I turned and left the common room. I hurried down the stairs and went into the secret room behind the statue of troll.

The guys knew about this room but none of them really cared about it. It was just a secret room to them, but to me it was different. I didn't want them to find me so I checked my pocket. The map was there. If they found me at all today it shouldn't be for a few hours. There were so many other rooms I would be likely to be in. I know the first room Sirius will check is the Kitchen. This room had a black stone floor, pure white walls with cream coloured cloud outlines on them and a high red ceiling. Basically it was a design crisis but I like it. It makes me feel kind of like there's more after death. Not just a cold coffin in the earth. Like Heaven and Earth are one and Hell is also on earth. Like the dead could be walking next to you but you just can't see them. I plopped down on the beanbag chair that I had placed there in second year.

I thought about Lily and what she had said. I never really thought about why she always says no I never actually thought she had a reason. I just thought she wanted to see how far I'd go. Maybe I am a little disrespectful of people. But I don't think I'm disrespectful to the girls I date. Am I? Why would be? It's not like I cheat on them... OH!

I ask HER out everyday no matter who date! Oh CRAP! That means I am a PLAYER!

A/N: So..? How did you like the first chapter? Please please please Review! I would really appreciate some constructive criticism.