-.-' Boredom leads to things that don't make much sense but at the tame time do. Like this quote. And this story. And people in general. Read and review, please and thank you! Well, and heck, just enjoy yourself.

i.
I have never been one for tears.

But they wouldn't stop as you walked away.

Ichigo… Why are you trying to leave me behind? Wasn't I the one who made you who you are? Even when you met Chad, even when I floated towards Orihime, even as our friendship stretched… Wasn't I always there? Wasn't I always trying to protect you?

How could you?

How could you hide things from me?

Wasn't I the one you trusted most?

Why?

What was I to you now?

ii.
Being told by another what was happening hurt me worse than his blank look.

He hadn't trusted me. Not even when Orihime's life was on the lines.

I was too weak. I had been left behind. I was human.

I was unneeded.

iii.
Death was painful.

I searched for a shinigami, trying to find a release. I couldn't look back on the burning building.

I'd be stronger now. But the mundane death had only proved how pathetic I was.

Dying in a fire. Dying in a fire while asleep.

I would get stronger, Ichigo, just you wait.

I'll be able to protect you again.

iv.
A blond-haired man found me, eyes seemingly hollow.

I could feel defiance stirring, fists clenching. He'd better wipe that pathetic look off of his face. Why did he have it on? Just how bad did he think his life was to get it? I was forcing myself to remain strong. I couldn't let myself cry again or make sad faces.

What gave him the right?

It was only then I realized he could see me.

v.
"Oi! Shinigami!" He blinked, looking both bored and miserable at the same time. Bastard. "Yes, you. Send me… to wherever I'm supposed to go. It's what you do, isn't it?"

He nodded warily, "How do you—"

"Damn it! Don't ask questions just send me there! And, if possible, make me a shinigami!" He didn't reply but pulled out his sword. My stomach dropped, the hair on my neck rose. "What…. What are you doing?" He stepped forward silently and I realized he was going to kill me for a second time. I ran.

vi.
He found me again. I don't know why he followed me or how the hell he got ahead of me but he was trying to get me with the sword. He was using the back end but for all I knew it could make it worse.

"I'm not going to die! Not until I can protect them!"

Finally, he spoke again, "To go to Soul Society, I have to perform a soul burial." I stumbled and he hit me with the hilt. White, blinding light glowed around me and, suddenly, I was in a little town with big, looming walls noticeable in the distant.

What had just happened?

vii.
I learned a bit in that weird town.

This was a place for the dead. Souls stayed here.

Unless they were strong.

Then they went to the academy. I found the academy. I demanded to enter.

They laughed at first. Until I shoved my fist into a man's mouth and blasted out a searing ball of fire. He didn't die but they took me seriously. I was trained.

viii.
"You have been offered places in squads three, eight, and ten." Akito paused, "Well, and eleven but—"

"I told those jerk no." I finished with a grin, patting the boy on the shoulder. He'd stood by me here, let me protect him. He was eerily similar to Ichigo in appearance and had a personality like Orihime. He was a new responsibility that let didn't leave me behind.

The scars were still there, however, and I had to see my old friends again.

I flipped through the files and froze when sad, bored eyes looked up from the page.

"I think I'll join third division."

Even I didn't know why.

ix.
The blond man looked up and met my eyes. I glared down at him. "You, shinigami, you're the one who preformed soul burial for me, right?" He nodded. "You were a captain?"

"Not then."

I scowled, "Wipe that goddamn look off of your face! Why do you look like that? Huh? In the picture, when we met, now—Why? What has happened to you to make you look so flipping upset all the time! It's sickening!"

"Kira-taicho, should we take her away?" The alarm in their voices didn't stop my insults.

I'll give him credit, he took them for a good while before raising his hand, "And why are you so mad, Arisawa-san?"

I had no reply.

x.
"Arisawa-fukutaicho, the captain's been injured!"

I swore and raced by Akito, but not before muttering, "You can call me by my name, dork." He blushed, stuttering about 'his place' and then promptly motioning towards the area I knew Izuru would be.

Damn him. I told him never to leave me behind.

"It'll be okay—"

"No, it won't! It's another goddamn war and I'm going to miss it again!"

He sighed, "I'm not leaving you because I want to—"

"Then don't! Damn it, Izuru—"

"I'm leaving you because I trust you with my division." Words that meant quite a bit normally, meant ten times as much coming from him.

I cursed him over and over again. Ichigo was there, leaning over him with a frown as Orihime healed him. I shoved past the boy, giving him a glare. He'd made up for trying to abandon me but, still, I couldn't help but remain hurt. I dropped by him and met sad, blue eyes. "Don't give me that look."

He looked away.

"Don't do that either."

"I failed."

I slapped him and Orihime squeaked, "Tatsuki-chan, don't! He's healing!"

I gave her a smile but then glared down at him. My captain. My upper. The idiot that had been stupid enough to go on the mission. "Yeah, it's why I didn't punch him. And you didn't fail, damn it! If you couldn't get Ichimaru, no one can blame you!" I knew now his past and I was also aware that he hadn't failed because of it. "He's as strong as—"

He shook his head, "He… Let me live."

I let the words sink in. "What do you mean?"

"I failed in bringing him back alive. I killed him."

The depression was returning, the suicidal thought was returning. I could see it in his eyes. All I could tell him was, "Don't you dare give up on me, Izuru."

He didn't.

xi.
"Why do you call me by my given name?"

I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. "Because I can. What? You don't like it?"

He shrugged, "You call a lot of people by their first names. But they're your friends. I'm your captain."

I snorted, "So what? I don't care about you?" I hit his head, "I care about you as much as them now. You may be my captain but you need to be protected just like them."

Quietly, he muttered, "If you're protecting everyone, who's going to protect you?"

I tightened my fists, "No one. Because last time someone tried and… And the idiot only made it worse."

xii.
Ichigo grabbed me one day as I was returning after my mission. "Got a moment?"

I followed him with an annoyed, "Not really."

"I… I'm worried about you." I narrowed my eyes, "It's just… You… Tatsuki, I'm… I'm sorry. About before. I didn't mean for you to—"

"Die? I'm good now. And I forgave you along time ago." I ruffled his hair, "I'm looking out for you, Ichigo, so don't run off without telling me again. I'll ground you or something."

He scowled, but a light of amusement was there, "Just because you're a Vice Captain—"

"Uh uh, subordinate, go clean the bathrooms."

And the tension from before vanished. All was forgiven.

xiii.
"Arisawa-fukotaicho…" I gave my captain a glare before turning away. He sighed heavily, "Tatsuki-san." I'd let him get away with it. I face him again and nodded in acknowledgement. "I can't leave this paperwork," he looked forlornly down at the annoying stack, "but I need something from that shelf. Could you get it for me?"

Did he really just ask that? I rolled my eyes and marched over, doing my duty well.

I stumbled over his stupid shoe and went flying, landing rather awkwardly on his lap. Both of us were too stunned to move.

"Tatsuki-chan, I've got a new reci-Oh! I'm so sorry! I'll—I'll—Sorry!" I tried to scramble up but got caught on his leg and fell again. Damn it! I wasn't helping! I finally detangled us and raced after Orihime, screeching that it 'wasn't what it looked like.'

Even I noticed just how sadly cliché that was.

xix.
It got awkward after that. So awkward, we hardly spoke a word to each other.

I couldn't take it for more than a week.

"Okay, fine, so that whole thing was really, really weird and unintentionally inappropriate—So what? I fell, is all, and you just happened to be right there and my foot just happened to twist, and this is sounding worse by the minute… Damn it, Izuru, can we just forget it ever happened?"

He was more than happy to submit.

xx.
A similar episode happened a month later.

Too similar.

And I thought I saw a certain well-endowed tenth vice captain running off giggling.

Damn Matsomoto.

"Orihime—Orihime, wait up! I swear, you didn't interrupt anything!"