The Goddess and Me
A Puella Magi Madoka Magica Fanfiction
Note*This will contain spoilers from the anime and is based on the last episode and before the Rebellion story.
I ain't gonna be those guys that act all romantic and smoothing in this story. All I have to say is that my time with Madoka Kaname is, how should I say this, weird.
It all started in school when my friend had a book.
My friend: Hey Erik, I got this weird looking book and it has some strange stuff about entities and gods.
Me: That's neat Pedro, we can finally meet god and ask him about the meaning of life or about that rash I have on my upper leg.
Pedro: Well want to start the ritual now?
Me: F*&% YEAH!
We did a small circle on the lunch tables and then wrote the name of the god that we want to summon on a small piece of paper, which is god. We and some other students whom thought that this is fun started chanting.
Everyone: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea
"Spongebob squarepants"
Absorbant and yellow and porous is he
"Spongebob Squarepants"
If nautical nonsense be something you wish
"Spongebob Squarepants"
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish
"Spongebob Squarepants"
READY
Spongebob squarepants
Spongebob squarepants
Spongebob squarepants
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
Suddenly a thrust of lighting went into our ritual circle. Teachers just look and started screaming like idiots. The lunch lady looked with awe, thinking that this is a sign. A huge light burst through the cafeteria and then BOOM!
Floating on a lunch table appears a girl with long pink hair tied in a twin tail, golden eyes, and a long white dress. Pedro looked somewhat disappointed while I just looked at her moe cuteness. Pedro looked at the circle finding out that one the note that we use to summon the girl, I wrote goddess instead of god.
Everyone in the cafeteria treated this like nothing has happened. Some thought that this is stupid since there is an anime girl standing there. These people stayed ignorant even though there's a goddess here. Some are just too busy to look. Is Pedro and I the only ones surprised?
Pedro: You dirty pervert!
Me: What! A man can dream, but she looks younger than me so that's a down side. She looks about 11 or 12. I'm about 17 in my senior year.
The girl: I'm actually 14.
For the record, Madoka is an all knowing goddess so she can speak English.
Me: Wait the minute, you look familiar. The pink and moe reminds me of... MADOKA MAGICA! You must be Madoka Kaname!
Madoka: Yes I am, why did you summoned me?
Me: First off, I'm Erik and this is Pedro.
I then went on a long list of people and friends in the cafeteria including Stan the janitor. The rest will be mentioned later in this story, but not all of them because not all of them have an important role in this story.
Me: You were summoned here by a small accident, but since your here, maybe you can answer some of our questions.
Madoka: I don't have time for this, I must continue my mission on bringing hope and salvation to all magical girls.
Pedro: What is the color of my underwear?
Madoka: Blue. I must get going.
The goddess tries to teleport, but remembered something.
Madoka: NO! I forgot that I can't teleport. I need my ride.
The anime girl then takes out her cell phone and looked disappointed.
Madoka: I'm going to be here for a while so ask away.
Me: Great, is Pluto a moon rotating around Canada?
Madoka: That is just a really stupid question.
Me: Can you make it happen without any dire consequences?
Madoka: Fine.
Breaking news, Canadian scientists has dicovered that pluto isn't a planet nor dwarf planet, but a moon that rotates around Canada. It was proven to the fact that Pluto seems to be aline with Earth and Canada is in Earth. It was also proven that Pluto is facing Canada.
I saw that on my I-phone.
Madoka: I'm usually have some tolerance for people, but I'm worried that I might lose it with you.
Me: Fine I'll be serious. What is the meaning of life?
Madoka: Its up to you to decide. There are many ways to interpret life.
Pedro: That ain't an answer.
Me: If you take AP English language, that is literally the answer on some of the assignments.
Madoka: I wish Homura-chan is here, or Sayaka-chan.
Me: I want to meet them too!
Madoka: You only want to meet them because they are characters from one of your favorite anime.
Me: Pretty much.
The bell rang.
Me: Well time for class, want to go to Chemistry class with me?
Madoka: Sure I guess, but does Pedro want me to come with him?
Pedro: Nah, I don't know you at all.
Madoka just looked at him and just followed me to class. In chemistry, it was smoking and all the students from the previous class and the teacher looked high. Probably from an experiment gone wrong.
Everyone in the class looked dazed with red eyes. They all acted very lazy in a really funny way. It might be from some Iodine.
My chem teacher: Oh, this is good stuff.
The teacher then inhales the smokey air. Appearently they made a chemical that works like a drug. I wonder how he gets that stuff. Madoka uses her goddess powers to blow the air away and restore everyone back to normal.
Chem teacher: Oh what happened. I don't feel so good.
This happens to the others students. Everyone was dismissed for 3rd period and Madoka and me went to my AP Government class because I felt like it. Madoka and I just stood outside of the class, waiting for my period.
Madoka: American schools are a bit different than the one that I attended.
Me: Of course it is. You got all that advance technology while we have the basics.
Madoka: That's not what I meant, but you got a point. I meant on how your school is a bit strange.
Me: What are you talking about? Its totally normal. I seen your anime series and yours is a bit more extraodinary than mine.
Madoka: Whatever. I hope that your Goverment class is different.
Me: Let's get over this. After sixth period, I'm done.
Madoka: I thought this is fourth period.
Me: This school arranges the class time so that it won't get boring here.
During Class
Gov Teacher: One of the worst part of American history is not the slavery or racism. Its the.. uhh...Articles of the Confederation. Bleh. My tongue tasted one of you just from mentioning the name. Its that bad. I'm probably tasting you Hector.
Everyone, including me, laughed at the attitude of the teacher's speech. Madoka giggled a bit and her giggle was cute. Madoka was sitting on an empty seat, still in her Goddess attire. She's trying to get the feeling of what its like being in a classroom again.
Boy, did she thought wrong since the AP Gov teacher was known to be the best comedian in this school.
Gov Teacher: Remember that tomorrow is the chapter 3 exam.
As I left class, I decided to let Madoka tag along as I walk home because she had no place to go to in Santa Ana and she's part of one of my favorite anime. She could instantly get a hotel room, but she doesn't want to be lonely so I let her crash in my house.
The funny part of all this is that Madoka can teleport around the earth or around one realm, but not to her own realm without a certain portal. What a dumb limit? Gods should be able to do that type of stuff.
Everyone was looking at me and Madoka, but I just enjoyed the moment
Madoka: Are you going to study for the exam?
Me: Of course, along with my other big tests that my classes got for me. Unless you can work your magic in making me smarter.
Madoka: I don't think that's a good idea. You know what happens in cartoons when a character cheats their way in becoming smarter.
Me: Good point. I'll just study like I did since Monday.
Madoka: That's great. I might be able to be your studying partner help you out more.
Me: That's great, we can *( #)$*#$*#$#( #(# % or you can just do that making me smarter thing.
What I just said must never be mentioned in the public, but its nothing nasty. Its just so stupid that is beyond human. It has something to do with a Hippopotamus and talking dolphins. Best not get into details.
Madoka: No! I'm not going to be your Doraemon.
Me: Aw man, we could of have some fun adventures and create chaos into this world with explosions. Hah ha ha ha ha.
Madoka backed off a bit from what I said and shot me with lightning. Since this fanfiction is a comedy, I'm still alive.
Madoka: Whoops. I'm so sorry for that, but what is up with you? You don't seem so normal.
Me: Oh I'm just a funny guy.
...
Somewhere in Japan:
Homura Akemi felt something is wrong. It feels like Madoka is being harmed or harassed in some way. Could she be back from the other plane? Homura decides to take this chance to go take this chance to meet Madoka again.
Homura: Homu Homu.
...
At my house:
Me: Welcome to my crib.
My house looked plain, buts its pretty large with stairs, but nothing fancy like a rich guy. We then went to my room which looks semi-messy and neat at the same time.
Me: Here we have my room. Pretty neat huh.
Madoka: What is that smell?
Me: Its me and my room. Apparently I smell like my room, probably its from the shampoo that I used.
Madoka then uses her magic to get rid of the smell of my bedroom.
Me: Aw come on, I liked that smell.
Madoka: Sorry, its just that I'm not used to it.
Me: I know how you feel. Its like those streets with those stores that ain't like the ones we know. I'm not really used to the smell, but I did get used to the medicine smell.
Madoka: I never really been to those stores.
Me: Whatever, your hungry? We can't study with an empty stomach.
The goddess doesn't need to eat since she is a goddess, but she does so because she felt like it. She just waited at the kitchen table while I did all the cooking because I said so.
I might be no chef, but I made some good cup noodles for the both of us. Madoka seems to like it so that means I manage to get a goddess to like my cooking. Score one for me!
Madoka: These noodles are pretty good.
Me: Your welcome Madoka-chan.
Madoka: Just call me Madoka.
Me: But its just so fun calling you that.
Madoka: Please.
Me: Fine.
My sister came down stairs since she comes home earlier than me and goes to a different school. She looks at me and Madoka and says...
Sister: Who the f^^& is she and your a pervert.
Me: What? She got no place to go. I'll just tell mom and dad about this and how she's a goddess and we'll be cool.
Well I called my parents and they agreed only if I can prove that god is in our house. I might have twisted my words a bit for rhetoical reasons.
I knew that some crap is going to happen if my parents saw Madoka. After eating, Madoka instantly clean everything up and I left to take a shower. The goddess and I then spend time studying for my exam and we do make a good study partners.
Madoka: How would you describe Dual Federalism?
Me: Its like a layer cake.
Madoka: Embyro/Embryon.
Me: Germ cell. I think I'm doing well on the word dissection. Bring me some Calculus.
Madoka: Derivative of cosx.
Me: -sin.x
Madoka: cscx
Me: -cscxcotx
Madoka: Back to government. What's the tenth amendment?
Me: Uh, something to do with any right that the national government doesn't have, it goes to the states.
Madoka: Close enough. Your doing pretty good and more easy to work with then Sayaka-chan.
Me: I'm not that dumb.
It was still around 6:58 and I'm not sleeping at this time. I seem to understand all the material. I may act like a mary sue, but unlike some people, I acutally pay attention in class and study.
Me: Want to go online and watch some anime?
Madoka: I guess.
We both use my laptop to watch some anime and I felt like watching some Dragonball z which Madoka find boring. This episode have Goku fighting Cell during the Cell Games.
Madoka: I kind of find this boring. Its just constant violence. Why can't these people talk things out peacefully?
Me: Because these people are awesome and bad ass. The series is just so cool with how all the characters being all powerful and beating the s*&^ ut of each other like a boss.
Madoka: You sound like Kyoko-chan.
Me: For the record she's my favorite Puella Magi Madoka Magica character.
After the episode, I decided to do something else online. I showed the goddess my fan fiction that crosses her series with Dragonball z.
Madoka: YOU DID WHAT!
Me: Yeah, I kind of did it because of the whole gods thing. I know you can foretell the whole Rebellion story so this would be old news.
Madoka: I really don't like you making Goku-san fight Homura-chan.
Me: It was a awesome fight right.
Madoka: Not really. I'm not a big fan of fights.
Me: Geez, that what some girls say to me.
Madoka: Can we do something else?
Me: Like meeting my parents.
Madoka: What?
My parents are right behind us. They looked angry that I brought a girl home.
Dad: Who is this, your girlfriend?
Me: No. She's a goddess that I summon.
Mom: Did her parents allow this? You could get arrested.
Me: I told you she's a goddess. Watch as she uses her magic to get rid of my nasty rash on my upper leg.
I showed my parents my rash and everyone was disgusted.
Me: So Madoka, show me your wonders.
Madoka just did it because she does not want to look at it anymore. My parents are convience, but wonders why she's staying with me.
Me: Well mom and dad, she got no place to go and can't got back to her domain until her ride is here.
My parents looked confused and have no idea.
Me: She's a goddess and is waiting for her ride back to heaven or whatever you call her home.
My parents with a pleased tone: Ahh.
With that my parents left and agreed and Madoka and I were in my room alone.
Madoka: What now?
Me: Some more Dragon Ball, not Z. The first one. Very different.
We both watch a random episode of Dragon Ball and she was disgusted.
Madoka: I can't believe that the series was so nasty before.
Me: What are you talking about? I find it funny when Goku says that the balls are gone when really he discovers that Bulma has no $%^* ,but a #$ $# .
Madoka: Your a fun guy, but a bit weird.
Me: I know I am.
After watching some other anime, we both hit the hay and went try to get some shut eye.
Me: Hey Madoka, could you let me have a bad ass dream?
Madoka: We are not doing inception.
Me: Fine, but at least let me control my dream.
Madoka: Fine, but you better wake up early tomorrow.
When I shut my eyes, I dreamt that I was on a motorcycle, playing a children's card game.
Me: F*& YEAH!
I spended my whole dream playing Yu-Gi-Oh on a motorcyle and it was awesome. I won't get into detail because this isn't a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction and it would be boring to some people to know about the duels I been in.
To be continued...
Note* Usually these types of stories have supernatural or strange things happen as the result of the unresponsible protagonist. However, its just that Madoka is not the type of person who would use her powers to harm people such as teachers and the main character is based on me and I would not be as careless as Nobita from Doraemon or Johnny from Johnny Test. I'm also trying my best to be not too redundant.
The later chapters will have crazy stuff happens because of her powers for reasons, but for now, you get character development and some getting to know each other. I'll think of something cool later.