115 Things You Can't Do While Serving Abroad the Enterprise
Author's Note: Boredom reigned. I am sorry SVU Productions this story idea came directly from reading one of your stories of which I give you ultimate credit. I got rule ideas from other fanfiction stories (which I also take no credit for), episodes of Star Trek (which I do not own), and random thoughts that appeared in my head. I own nothing.
Do not mess with Q.
Do not make Jean-Luc Picard hold a screaming child.
Do not use a trip rope on Worf.
Do not reprogram Data into a party-crazed teenager like one from the twenty-first century.
Do not go a year without telling Wesley or Data to shut up.
Do not take Geordi's visor and hide it under the captain's chair.
Do not twerk on the bridge.
Do not bring an animal on the bridge.
Do not challenge Worf to a fight.
Do not stare at Counsellor Troi's cleavage.
Do not go near Spot.
Do not walk around the Enterprise naked.
Do not yell "I love you Edward Cullen" to Commander Data.
Do not vandalize Starfleet property.
Do not play an instrument badly.
Do not shave off Riker's beard and hair while he is asleep.
Do not call Picard by his first name.
Do not steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.
Do not punch a Vulcan.
Do not pretend you can speak a language you never have heard or do not speak.
Do not tell Data to break a leg.
Do not have sex in the ready room.
Do not switch the artificial alcohol with real alcohol.
Do not poke the bear.
Do not call red alert for attention.
Do not set the Enterprise on fire.
Do not put hair remover on Worf's beard.
Do not make fun of Picard's baldness.
Do not put a woopie cushion on Picard's chair.
Do not cut holes in Guinan's ridiculous hats.
Do not reprogram the replicators to only serve cat food.
Do not throw a pie at Picard.
Do not play loud heavy metal music over the communications system.
Do not teach pranks to Data.
Do not steal Riker's condoms.
Do not start a band with Geordi.
Do not draw on Data's face.
Do not skydive out of a view screen.
Do not write "Picard Sucks" in the Enterprise's main bathroom.
Do not hit Worf with a baseball bat.
Do not challenge Data to a staring contest.
Do not bully Wesley in front of Dr. Crusher.
Do not steal all of Counsellor Troi's chocolate.
Do not switch Riker's poker cards to a cheap set of magic cards.
Do not sit on Picard's chair.
Do not try to steal from the Enterprise.
DO not make a serious high price bet with a Ferengi.
Do not Gandalf Style! 8D!
Do not bring a dog to Data's quarters.
Do not ask Will Riker to marry you.
Do not stick a "Kick Me" sign on Worf's back.
Do not question Data's accuracy.
Do make fun of Wesley.
Do not propose to Luxuana Troi for marriage.
Do not ask Troi what cheerleader squad she is on.
Do not kick Wesley from the bridge.
Do not ride a motorcycle onto the bridge.
Do not enter a math contest for Androids.
Do not give Geordi a book for Christmas.
Do not attempt to steer the Enterprise into the sun.
Do not fire upon a Romulan vessel first while you are in Romulan territory.
Do not install a member or members of the crew with special powers.
Do not invite Q onto the ship.
Do not rename the Enterprise "Lollipop".
Do not awaken Mortuary.
Do not call the computer fat.
Do not prevent Picard from discovering something new.
Do not activate the self-destruct for laughs.
Do not tell the crew they are only fictionous characters.
Do not install unruliness in Alexander.
Do not steal Data's memories.
Do not reactivate Lore.
Do not eliminate all the sweets from the Enterprise.
Do not become a werewolf.
Do not spend a whole day without speaking a word.
Do not tell Data to get lost.
Do not start an argument with Picard.
Do not have a logic battle with Data or a Vulcan.
Do not pee all over Worf's room.
Do not sabotage Geordi's engines.
Do not make Data's quarter a mess.
Do not walk around with your eyes shut.
Do not talk to yourself.
Do not fake death.
Do not disguise yourself as Picard and act like an idiot.
Do not try to make Data angry.
Do not try to teach Sela humanity.
Do not volunteer yourself for Borg assimilation.
Do not go trick or treating to people's quarters.
Do not smoke cigars in Ten Forward.
Do not try to steal someone else's job.
Do not hypnotize the crew to your advantage.
Do not engage in a long conversation with Data.
Do not try to sell Data to a Ferengi.
Do not kill Tasha Yar needlessly off of Star Trek.
Do not create clones of Riker and/or Picard. (Come on isn't one enough already?)
Do not create Data so he looks exactly identical to his brothers.
Do not let the creeper spy on you.
Do not scare Barclay.
Do not spend all day on the holodeck.
Do not reprogram the teleporters to create a new lifeform.
Do not use the holodeck to create real wild animals and release them onto the Enterprise.
Do not jump on the turbolift.
Do not spill soda on the bridge.
Do not steal Data's arm or head.
Do not challenge Data to a tap dancing competition.
Do not insult the French.
Do not cut the power to the main computer.
Do not switch Dr. Crusher's medicine with placebos.
Do not treat Data like a machine.
Do not mess with the environmental controls.
Do not change the crew into animals.
Do not negotiate with Q.
Do not challenge Guinan or Data to a phaser firing contest.
Do not teach your pet bird to say, "I hate Star Trek."
Author's Note: Well I hope you liked it despite the fact I kind of ran out of all the best ideas at the end. I do not own Star Trek or SpongeBob Squarepants or any dances mentioned or that one song. Please review. 8D!