This was originally going to be a one shot, but since it was my first Naruto story I've posted, I went all out. It's nothing of substance, but it's a good laugh and there is going to be a few smutty scenes. I want to try to write the characters as best I could, this is basically practice. I need to write more smut! Now, this isn't going to be riddled with it, rather my home page will be. I'll heavily suggest the scenes here, and go into my detail on my site. I enjoy writing it, but my readers are so young, I feel weird writing it for them under my real name. DX
The practice is necessary, so I'm going to do my best to keep it 'mature' here, and 'all out' on the home page. Those scenes will be available when I say, so keep an eye on the author's notes. Anyway let's go!
Chapter 1 : Time to Settle
With wide eyes, Naruto stared at the sight before him. "No way!" he sounded in disbelief.
Sakura nodded, "Yup, it's all our for the weekend!" They had been given an entire bath house as a thank you gift.
"All this for teaching the newbies," Ino snickered as she walked by, "If I'd have known this paid off so well, I'd have stuck my nose in a lot sooner." As much as Ino loved her practice, teaching it was rather difficult. Apparently the kids weren't as deep with flowers as she.
"They aren't really newbies," Hinata said as she adjusted the box of tea leaves. "They're new graduates."
"They're newbies to me," Ino suggested. "Are they here?"
Hinata checked her watch, "I believe they'll be here shortly. We have to get the tea ceremony ready."
With a sigh, Naruto took the crate of tea being handed to him, "We're supposed to be here to relax."
"Come on, we even have a new import to enjoy. The tea ceremony is relaxing," she stated.
"Not when you're the one arranging it," his complaining ceased and the ceremony went off without a hitch. "See what I mean," Naruto mentioned to Shikamaru, who had also been roped into boiling and serving tea. He wanted to sit with the girls and have a nice hot drink.
"At least we don't have to wear those," he said, referencing the kimono's the girls were wearing. "I mean, if it's comfortable, sure. But I heard a lot of complaining while they were getting changed."
He thought the kimono's were pretty, especially with the girls in them. "I guess..." Shikamaru obviously didn't appreciate them in the same way. Temari didn't wear one, neither did Sakura, they claimed to have forgotten about the ceremony. He rested his chin on the counter and looked off across the room. "At least the tail isn't bad." He said with a wide smile. The girls who had graduated were fun and full of life, making mischief and tugging their kimonos to the point their bust's busted.
With a shrug he handed off another pot of tea to the complainer, "I try to keep my eyes down. Less distractions."
Even with encouragment, he still had no interest. With heavy feet, Naruto shuffled off and delivered the tea pot to the closest circle, gathered around a low table. A smiling face encouraged him to cheer up. It didn't work. It was back to the kitchen. "On the bright side," he began, "One of the cute girls told me to cheer up. That something good."
"Conversation with you is painful." He was getting annoyed at his partner's wining.
"Fine," he huffed and took a seat on a small stool.
"...I'm sorry..." Shikamaru hesitated then continued. "I'm not looking because there's no point, it's distracting. These girls aren't interested in anything long term, and that's what I'm looking for." He saw ogling girls pointless because he felt a person's exterior had little to nothing to do with who they were and what they were capable of.
Naruto sighed, "...Yeah. Keep my eyes down, huh? Maybe I'll focus better," he said, folding his arms. With a half sigh he slouched down, eyes down; it was only a half sigh because something caught his eye. "Well then, how about that. Your advice paid off." Naruto got down on all fours and reached under the curtain being draped over the counter cupboards.
"No pranks, seriously. Leave the water mains out of this," he said, all too familiar with Naruto's habits.
"Well, it's not water," Naruto said as he displayed a pure white bottle of sake.
As expected, this action was met with a shake of the head, "You aren't old enough to drink that stuff."
"And neither are they," his movements were so quick, he bypassed Shikamaru's vision and had already begun spiking the tea pot.
"As if," he stated and stopped the flow from the bottle to the cup, "This one's going to Hinata's table. She'll notice."
"Ah-ah, 'Import'," he laid a finger on a character lining the tea crate, proving its foreign status, "...huh? Let me. You saw nothing."
"You're such a bother," and here he thought they'd had a good rythym going. With hesitation, he allowed it, and blocked it from his memory.
"This tea'll be great. Believe it," he smirked and topped off the tea pot. "Fresh off the stove," he spoke triumphantly as he brought out and laid the pot next to Hinata.
"Thank you," she said and continued with her table.
"You seem chipper," said the same girl who had encouraged a smile earlier.
"I'm looking positively at this tea brewing title," he said and went back in the kitchen. "Keep an eye on her," he said and crouched with his partner in crime.
Shikamaru and Naruto watched Hinata carefully. Stress drenched the two as she poured the tea and consume it without a hitch. They breathed a sigh of relief. "I was sure she would notice."
"She doesn't know what sake tastes like." He assumed, being the kind and good natured spirit she was. "Innocence," he lamented.
"And you have to ruin it. Sometimes it fun to watch it all burn, right?" he said ruthfully.
Naruto caught on to what he was saying. "I should have thought about this some more, should I have?" He liked that side of Hinata; innocence worked well with her.
"I didn't think you put any thought into it."
"Oh, whatever. She'll probably catch on," he said as someone made their way into the kitchen. Sure enough, it was Hinata, "What's up?" he sounded as genuine as possible.
"This tea doesn't taste right," she said and handed it off to him. Before anyone could admit defeat, she continued, "The second one you brought out tasted full of flavor. This one is kind of thin, maybe it didn't boil long enough," she suggested.
"No problem," he took the pot from her, "I'll fix it right up and bring the next one out too." She left.
"You're awful," Shikamaru judged.
"Shut up, I know!" he yelled at both himself and his tainted-tea wielding apprentice. "But this party wasn't going to swing on its own."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes at the choice of words, "And now we're going to have to make them all taste like that? Do we have enough for all of them?" he said as he peered into the neck of the single bottle.
"Oh, don't worry. Look under the counter," he trotted happily past the swinging kitchen doors.
With a grievance he spied several more bottles of the same booze, "We're going to be written up."
"You look like you're having fun too, don't rain now." Naruto declared and reentered.
"I doubt fun will matter-"
"Why would they leave these here?" he asked, cutting Shikamaru off. "They were asking for trouble when they didn't check this place. Did they not know we were coming? Was this place cleaned? Yes. These must have been left out on purpose to thank us for a job well done. Right?"
"...I take it back. You've put entirely too much thought into this."
"Make up your mind: Are you in?" he questioned, rather close to his friend's face.
"Fine, alright, geez. I guess..." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, "I could write the brewing instructions in a different dialect. That way we can just say we misunderstood them."
Naruto was puzzled, "Now who's putting in too much thought." He ripped the label off, "We'll just say it spilled in accidently and it tasted so good we didn't want to change it."
"Yeah, because they'll appreciate being fed a random chemical. I go back to my initial statement: No thought processes."
"You said 'not enough' thought at first," Naruto corrected him.
"Well...it's been enhanced."
"..." in an effort to turn the table, he put on his 'thinking' expression. "What if..."
"What's going on in here?" Ino asked, tea cup in hand.
"Shh...wait for it," Shikamaru paused her. Naruto having a thought process was a sight, for he felt it didn't happen often enough to witness. Granted he knew Naruto was a skilled ninja, his calculations took place on the battle field, not in the kitchen. And his mischief streak had dried up over the years, so it was rather nostalgic to see the wheels turning again.
"...it spilled in by accident," a pause to pick up the torn off label, "but then we found the label...Hinata looked so happy with the tea we didn't want to tell her because we thought...those instructions said to add it."
"Good choice. Now give it here," she said, busting them wide open. Or so they thought. She tilted the bottle up and took a long slug on the open end. Topping off her tea, she turned. "Thanks. This party just became interesting."
"You knew? You're not mad?" The meeker of the two questioned.
She shrugged, "How do you think I get through holiday dinners with the family? Kampai," she said as she left the steamy kitchen.
"Want a nip? It's pretty good," with ease he tilted the bottle up and took a drink. "Nice," Naruto's held it out the bottle to his partner.
"...no."
"Come on," he tried again.
"It's bad enough I'm letting you get away with this. I should have put my foot down at the start. Don't drink too much of that, you have to be able to stand up and walk."
"Ah, don't worry," he said and took a second drink, "That's all. I'll wait until we're finished," he said and they concocted another home brew of fancy imported tea and sake. Soon, the effects were felt by all. At least, all who consumed more than a few cups. "We need to up the ante!" Naruto suggested with a fist pumped high in the air.
"No we do not." Shikamaru protested. They stared one another down.
"Alright you two," Temari now entered the kitchen. "Why is Ino so cocked? What's in the tea?" she said angrily.
"In all fairness, this was his doing." He shifted blame.
"Sell out!"
Temari raised an eyebrow, "Oh, I know," she said and got close to Naruto's face. "It reeks of you. Where is it?"
"Under there," he said.
She came back with an empty bottle, along with another one that had just been uncorked. "And how much-you know what, I don't care." She topped off her cup. "If Hinata finds out she's going to have a nervous breakdown."
"I informed him," Shikamaru noted.
"You could have stopped me, you had the power. You chose to do nothing," Naruto said in his own contrived way of defense.
"He has a point," Temari snickered.
"Don't side with that idiot," he said and shuffled off to fetch another pot of tea. He poured some freshly brewed tea from the large pot into the smaller, table sized one.
"In the name of fun, stop right there," Naruto said and ceased the pouring. He filled the rest to the top with the booze. "We're having fun tonight."
Shikamaru sighed, "That's only half," he said, knowing full well that it was now twice the amount of sake than before.
"Fun," he said and trotted off to the door once again.
"Let me guess," Temari started, "'Believe it'?"
Naruto looked as though he was offended, "Damn well better believe it!"
The un-fun one groaned, "He's drunk already."
Temari watched Naruto sit down with Hinata and the others. He was poured a clumsy cup of tea by the navy haired girl. "No he's not," she stepped closer to her love interest. "What about you? Are you going to stay a stick in the mud tonight?"
"Why would I change?" Getting rowdy wasn't really his bit.
"Couldn't you have just said 'yes'?" She halted her potentially romantic approach and turned to trade spots with Naruto who was chatting up the new graduates.
A few moments passed and he was back in the kitchen, buzzing, "Alright, half a pot of your finest...and throw some tea in the other half."
"Now you're drunk," he said with a grievance and poured a second pot, half pot.
"Nope, but I'm working on it!" He said and took a large swig from the guilty bottle.
"..." he looked away in annoyance.
Naruto stared at his friend's face, "...huh...what's got yer' goat?" He was playing it up a little now, acting more drunk that he actually was.
"...maybe...one, wouldn't hurt," he said with uncertainty.
"That's the spirit!" Naruto filled a teacup with sake and held it out to him.
He cringed at the smell, "I'm not drinking it straight." He saw Naruto pick up a ladle and made the drink flush with the top of the glass. "Not what I meant. Down the hatch. Kampai," he said and knocked one back with the conniving fox.
What is life without whimsy? :)
When you hold as many house parties as I have, you get to see a lot of things. I love mixing drinks myself, so I've served up noxious cocktails. People are not the same when they drink. But the change makes sense; you'll see what I mean later on.
Now I quit drinking heavily in 2008. And I've gotten to see a lot more in recent years, hearing stories at work and at college. My house parties with my close friends are going to be the basis for this story inspiration, with a little imagination thrown in. I don't do the bar scene, I have an anxiety disorder and am thrown into a panic attack when I'm surrounded by people...all the people...(shivers). And I'm hot too, I shouldn't be this nervous! It's not fair! ...but maybe that's why I'm nervous...too much attention...I was one of those 'late bloomers'; in a sense that I got hot when my looks didn't make much of a difference anymore. Listen to me go on, read the story, I'll go on some more in the next author's note.
Oh, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like a few reviews. Not that I need them, I just want to know how closly I've gotten the characters. I haven't written for Naruto since highschool.
thx