How the Grinch Stole Christmas, an Epic
Chapter 1
Once again, down in the small village of Whoville, Christmas Eve had arrived. Everybody was dashing about, preparing for the great holiday. However, there was a black-hearted soul who lived on the peak of Mount Krumpet. His dreaded name was the Grinch. He was a green-furred humanoid, but was as far from human as one could get. He loved no one and nothing, but he hated a good many things. Foremost among them, was Christmas. He hated it with a passion that consumed his very soul, rotten as it was. For forty-eight years, he had tolerated it. But no more, for if the Whos sang one more Christmas carol, he might just explode into a foul cloud of hatred. "If it's the last thing I do, I will keep Christmas from coming!" He snarled from his lair on Mount Krumpet. "But how," he pondered, "How would one stop a day from coming to bring its new sorrows and joys? I would have to stop time itself!" And even the mighty Grinch, master of many arcane arts, balked at that feat. "Perhaps I could take its meaning away, make it just another day, just like the last." He considered. But that would require taking away the meaning of the people that inhabited that day, and while the Grinch despised the Whos, he grudgingly respected them for their vibrancy and spirit. To take away that might be an even greater feat then disturbing one of the prime forces of existence. What made Christmas different from the Wednesday just past? He wondered what it could be. Then a horrid, unspeakable idea struck him. A terrible, awful idea. And it was just what he had been searching for. He dashed into the cave with the word "Stockpile" crudely carved into it.
Sorry that it's short. I promise that I'm sorry. I swear, on 42, that I'm dreadfully sorry. I am so intensely sorry that an urge has taken hold of me to write chapter two twice as fast as I would normally. If I were any more sorry, I might just write it three times as fast as I would normally. But I need the mighty arcane power of the powerful Review Gems to achieve such a feat. So if you pine for the adventures yet to come, you must bestow these formidable items upon me. Now go, and be merry! (That was almost as long as the chapter itself. 0.0)