Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight or New Moon
Recipe for Twilight and New Moon Pie
1 Klutzy, lovestruck heroine
1 extremely hot vampire
8 no-so-hot vampires, 5 friendly, 3 not
1 small, Washington town
1 overprotective divorced father
5 adolescent werewolves
1 family of omnipotent Italian vampires
Several fast cars, stir in desired amounts, silver Volvo required
18 plane tickets, 5 of them international
2 500 page books
Use last three ingredients for crust, bake until golden brown. In a separate bowl, mix remaining characters and settings and pour into crust. Store in a cool, dark, rainy place.