Always Be With You Chapter 1, a queer as folk fanfic

Always Be With You

Chapter 1

Disclaimer : Ron Cowen & Daniel Lipman – SHOWTIME.

Pair : Brian Kinney & Justin Taylor

Rate : T

Genre : Angst/Romance.

Setting : Post 5.13

Brian POV

I faintly heard the loft door was being closed. Justin was gone. He went to reach for his dreams. Then where is my dream? My dream seemed to go along with Justin's departure to New York. Justin Taylor - the only man who could change my life, The one who introduce me to the meaning of love, to love and be loved.

Yes, I love him. Contrary to what people believe, Brian Fucking Kinney could love someone. I've done everything for Justin. I promised him marriage, to say the words that never been existed in my head— I Love You, then why is he still going to leave me? Oh yeah, right. Because I say so, because I want him to be free. He is still young, he has to explored the world and his talent blinded by his love for me. But why does it hurt? My brain was telling me to not thinking about anything, but I can not stop it. My whole body ached. I know I have to wake up from this bed and go to work, but I do not feel like doing anything and enjoying the pain in my chest.

After what seemed a long time when I lay staring at the ceiling, I finally got into the kitchen to get drinks. I saw a paper with Justin's writing in it.

Brian,

You told me that it is only time. I agree with you. It is only time, time to us to grow up, time to us to learn how to love each other respectfully, time for you to learn how to not push me away, time for me to learn that you actually love me. Time is everything.

I love you Brian, and I don't want you to push me away again. We could work it out.

If you are ready to commit into long distant relationship, call me. I am waiting.

Love,

I read it thoughtfully. Am I ready to live a long distance relationship with him? When he decided to go to New York, I did not expect anything from him. If he wants to return, I'll be here, always. Because after I deny it, Justin is the first and last man I could love.

Without realizing it I take my cell phone and dialed Justin. On the fourth ring, the familiar voice answered.

"Hey, you."

"Hello to you too, Sunshine. How's New York?

Justin POV

I shut the loft door with a heavy heart. I know Brian heard my footsteps . but I do not want to wake him, I do not want to see his eyes and made me hesitate to go. But I must go, for myself, so I was able to become a better man for Brian.

Oh God, I love him, has loved him since the first time I saw him outside of Babylon. Fate that brought us together. Yes, I call it destiny. Because when I looked into his eyes, I'm sure that Brian is the man who was destined for me.

I walked out the loft to the airport, expect a letter that I left him able to convince Brian, convinced that our love was worth fighting for. I knew I could not live without it, can not love others as I love him. But I also need Brian to be able to fight for this love, love me, and forget his fear to love and be loved.

I know the way my career in New York will not always run smoothly. Who wants to buy a painting from a new artist like me? I had to fight in a foreign city alone. But as long as I know that Brian was always there for me, I'm sure that all will be fine. I do not want Brian to help my finances while in New York. I want to stand alone, want to fight for myself.

On the plane taking me to New York, I kept thinking about what Brian was doing. Has he got up and saw the letter I left for him? When will he call me? Is he willing to try long-distance relationship with me?

Soon as I just walked out of the airport, I felt the cell phone vibrates in my pocket. When I saw who was calling, I smiled broadly.

"Hey, you," I said.

"Hello to you too, Sunshine. How's New York?", Brian's voice in my ear, and I'm sure that all will be fine.

*4 months later*

Brian POV

"Hey Brian, listen to me. I can't stay in this apartment anymore. My roommate is getting on my nerves every day. Yesterday he put his dirty clothes in the living room. Whereas before I had told him that there should be no personal items in our living room. What annoyed me most was that he always bothers me when I'm painting. I can not take it anymore. I think I want to move. But to find the spacious apartments and cheap like this in New York is hard. I miss my old roommate. He just drives me crazy. "

Justin continued to grumble unceasingly. I wonder where he got the strength to continue to talk endlessly like that. I can only answer with "Hmm" and "Oh yes? '. What more can I say?

Justin has often grumbled about his new roommate since a month ago. I've told him to move. I've even helped him to find a new apartment for him, but he feels unable to pay the apartment that I chose, and he did not want to accept help from me.

Justin's been four months living in New York, and I'm amazed at myself. Because until now I still can undergo long-distance relationship with him. We call each other every day. I tried to visit him every two weeks. When I visited him in New York, I would stay at the hotel and we will spend a wonderful weekend together. In the night before I fall asleep sometimes I feel very lonely. And as if Justin could feel the same loneliness there, he always called me, and we will do an amazing phone sex before go to sleep.

I still occasionally go to Babylon to find the trick to just get a blowjob. But I've never carried a trick to the loft. Oh God, I really miss Justin.

"Brian, are you still there? Listen to me, are you listening!" Justin's voice sounded annoyed.

"Yes, Sunshine, I heard. Then what do you want to do? I offered you to move into an apartment that I chose and help you pay it, but you did not want to. Don't be such a twat."

"You're really not listening to me, aren't you? I just said, Nate tried to kiss me!" Justin's voice sounded very upset.

"WHAT? That's it. You have to move! 'Or I Will drag you to move out from there." My voice was rising. No one can kiss my Sunshine, whoever it is.

"I don't like him, Justin. But if you feel he can be trusted, it's up to you. If he was doing anything to you, I'll beat him!" Damn! The more days I feel like not myself. A Brian Kinney is jealous. But for Sunshine, I can beat anyone.

"Don't worry, Bri, I can look after myself. Don't be jealous like that," Justin said, half laughing.
"Don't flatter yourself Sunshine. Who says I'm jealous?" I snorted irritably.

Then he simply replied, "Hahaha, yes yes Brian, I love you too."

Justin POV

"Hey Brian, listen to me. I can't stay in this apartment anymore. My roommate is getting on my nerves every day. Yesterday he put his dirty clothes in the living room. Whereas before I had told him that there should be no personal items in our living room. What annoyed me most was that he always bothers me when I was painting. I can't take it anymore. I think I want to move. But to find the spacious apartments and cheap like this in New York is hard. I miss my old roommate. He just drives me crazy. "

I continue to grumble over the phone. Brian replied simply improvised. I know I'm a little annoyed to him, but I could not stand it anymore. I was upset with my roommate.

Four months had passed, my relationship with Brian has been stronger than before. We call each other every day. Though every day I miss Brian, but I can ease it by trying a little harder in New York. Sometimes I express my longing of Brian on the canvas. My life in New York is not exactly easy, but also not exactly difficult. I worked part time at a small company as graphic design. The money from my part time job I used to buy everyday needs. Although less than adequate, I was able to survive in New York.

Last month I finally found a gallery of paintings that will hang my paintings in a new artist paintings exhibition show. All my painting was sold, and an agent willing to represent me and help me to sell my paintings. I'm very happy. When I told Brian over the phone, he sounded very happy too, but he also sounded sad.

I was proficient with "Brian Kinney Operating Manual Book" so I immediately knew what made him sad. Then I told him then "Brian, listen to me. I'm still the same as that used to be. I am still Justin, a man who loves you with all my heart. As success as I can be, I am still little Justin that has always loved and adored you. Please Brian, you must believe me. I love you. " At that time he finally responded, "I know Sunshine. Me too, me too."

Then our relationship became closer than ever. Life in New York is better since then, until the moment Nate came. He replaces Kate as a friend of my apartment roommate. Nate was actually interesting and fun, but sometimes he can be very annoying. What upset me most was when he tried to kiss me yesterday. I avoid him and angry with him. I decided to tell this to Brian.

"Brian, Nate tried to kiss me." I finally told him. Brian is apparently still mumbling and daydreaming over there and just responded with "Hmm" and "Oh yes? '. Finally I was upset and shouted into the phone. "Brian, are you still there? Listen to me, are you listening!" I finally screamed and managed to awaken Brian from her daydreaming.

"Yes, Sunshine, I heard. Then what do you want to do? I'm offered you to move into an apartment that I chose, and help you pay it, but you did not want to. Don't be such a twat."

"You're really not listening, aren't you?, Nate tried to kiss me!" I'm trying to not upset against Brian.

"WHAT? That's it. You have to move! 'Or I Will drag you to move out from there." Brian's voice rose audible. I know he must be very angry right now.

"I do not have to move right now, Bri. I've warned him, and he promised not to repeat it. I really liked this place Bri, though Nate was a bitch sometimes, but I need his rent to live together in this apartment." I tried to calm him down. I do not want to get Brian more angry against Nate, at least there could be times when Nate was a good friend.

"I do not like him, Justin. But if you feel he can be trusted, it's up to you. If he was doing all sorts of you, I'll beat him." Brian's voice sounds not playing games. He was jealous, and I was pleased when Brian jealous. That proves that he loves me very much indeed. Not that I doubt it, but he rarely shows it in words. So Brian's jealous moments like these are the moments that made me love him even more.

"Don't worry, Bri. I can look after myself. Don't be jealous like that," I said half-laughing, trying to contain my happiness and not to upset him.

"Don't flatter yourself, Sunshine. Who says I'm jealous?" Brian snorted irritably.

Then I just said, "hahaha, yes, yes Brian, I love you too."

Justin POV

Friday night Brian would come to New York. I've been impatiently waiting for him. I know it's still Monday, still four days before he came, but I'm very impatient. I miss him very much.

This morning I woke up feeling happy, but it seems my body is not as pleased as me. I felt sick and weak all over my body. I tried to get out of bed, but suddenly I could not stand and I felt my body fell to the floor.

When I opened my eyes, I've been in the hospital. I saw Nate sat beside my bed. I wear the respirator, and my hand is connected to the IV. Nate seems to see me open my eyes, because of it, he called for a doctor. And then he came. "Justin, can you hear me?"

"Nate, what happened? Why am I here?"

"This morning I want to wake you because you said you wanted to get up early and finish your painting. But when I came into your room, I saw you lying on the floor, then I immediately called an ambulance and they brought you here." Nate tried to explain the situation to me.

"Brian Brian ... did you call him?" I tried to speak out loud but I failed.

Before Nate said anything, the doctor came in and began to examine me. "Mr. Taylor, I'm glad you're awake. At the moment I can not ensure anything. I shall bring you further examination. I have to take your blood sample to be examined, and now we are just waiting for the results of laboratory examination. When you collapsed. Your lover is very worried. It seems he loved you so. " The doctor smiled at me before leaving the room.

Lover? What? Brian was here? If so, I wanted to meet him. "Nate, where is Brian?" I asked Nate.

"Hmmm, I-I haven't told him. I was panicked. On the way to the hospital I can only pray that you're okay. When the doctor asked what relationship I have with you, I spontaneously replied that I was your lover. Forgive me , Justin. "

I do not know if should be mad at him. On the one hand I was angry because he recklessly claimed as my beloved, but on the other hand I'm a bit relieved because Brian did not know. I do not want him to see me like this. I'm definitely going to get better and I was only going to tell Brian when I'm okay. But then I knew that Brian would be very angry if I did not tell him. I'm so confused.

Before I decided if would be able to tell Brian or not, my hospital room door open. Brian came in a hurry. "Sunshine, what's wrong with you?" Then he hugged me.

TBC

A/N yes I know it just short chapter, i'm just learning to make multi chapter XD kindly review please and let me know what you think :)