Slawberry Kisses

Chapter One: Birthday Kiss

For Chowder, young purple bunny-cat-kid and apprentice chef, it was a terrific day, his thirteenth birthday. A lot had changed over the years, but his love of food was the same as it had ever been. At the moment, he was on his way to Gazpacho's fruit stand, having been sent by Mung to pick up the slawberries needed to make Chowder's most favorite dish in the world: Slawberry cake. The mere thought of the confectionery delight was enough to make him drool enough to fill a small canal.

As he made his way down to Marzipan City's marketplace, something happened to take Chowder's mind off of slawberry cake: He ran into Panini.

"Happy birthday, num-nums!" Panini gushed.

"I'm not your boyfriend!" screamed Chowder, his attitude toward Panini having not changed over the years, either. "Did you get me anything?" he asked hopefully. "I loves me some birthday presents!"

"Oh, I got you something, alright." Panini purred. "A great big birthday kiss!" she declared, puckering up and reaching for Chowder.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed Chowder, turning tail and running at a speed that should not have impossible for someone of his pudgy build.

"You can't run away from our love forever, birthday boy!" called Panini as she gave chase, not in the least bit phased by her would-be beau's reaction.

Chowder knew the maze-like ways of the market stalls well, and eventually managed to give Panini the slip. Breathing a sigh of relief, he made his way to Gazpacho's stall.

"Hey, Gazpacho!" called Chowder.

"Hey, little buddy!" replied Gazpacho. "Congrats on the big one-three! You're gonna have a great year, I just know it!"

"Thanks. But you know what's really gonna be great? Having a huge, ginormous slawberry birthday cake! Are the slawberries all ready to go?" Chowder asked excitedly.

"Ooh, sorry, little buddy." said Gazpacho, in a sad tone. "There's a slawberry shortage these days."

"Whaaaat?" asked Chowder increduously.

"Yeah, most of the crops got eaten by loco-custs, just last week." Gazpacho stated matter-of-factly. "With slawberry supplies as low as they are right now, I'm afraid I won't be able to get any in for months."

"Aw, man!" moaned Chowder bitterly.

"I got plenty of other fruit though." offered Gazpacho. "Any of them would make a delicious cake. How about some bluenanas?"

"Yeah, sure." said Chowder, in a tone that made it seem like he was on his way to a funeral.

Having procured his substitute supplies, Chowder made his way home in a state of utter depression, so lost in his bitterness and dissapointment that he didn't notice Panini until she was right in front of him.

"Gotcha, num-nums!" she cried out in triumph. Before Chowder could muster up any sort of defense, she grabbed him and kissed him right on the lips. At that moment, Chowder's mood switched from depression to sheer horror.

"!" he screamed once more, only this time at a pitch high enough to shatter glass, and ran off again, at an acceleration that made his previous speed seem like a tortoise jogging. Chowder didn't stop running until he made it all the way back to Mung Daal's Catering Company, pausing only to drop off the bluenanas in kitchen, and kept on going until he reached the safety of his room.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Chowder repeated. "This is the worst birthday ever! This is..." He stopped for a moment, his disgust momentarily stalled by a strange sensation in his mouth.

"Why do I taste slawberries?" Chowder wondered aloud.

It was some time before Chowder's seldom-used brain managed to figure out the answer to his question.

"Panini!" he declared. "She tastes of... slawberries! On, cruel fate! How could you combine the tastiest thing on Earth with the ickiest girl in the world? I can't believe the closest I got to slawberries today was being kissed by... Wait a minute!"

Twice in one day, Chowder's brain whirred into action.

"Kimchi!" Chowder addressed the living flatulus cloud by his bed. "There's a slawberry shortage, right?"

"Prrrrt!" Kimchi replied

"A shortage that could last for months, correct?"

"Phhrrrt!"

"And Panini's kisses taste like slawberries. Which means, if I ever want to taste slawberries any time soon, I'm gonna have to... KISS PANINI!" Chowder finished, utterly disgusted by the thought.

"Prrt!" uttered Kimchi.

"I know, it's gross." agreed Chowder. "I can't do it! But, the slawberries... yum! But, Panini... ew! Slawberries, Panini, Slawberries, Panini... What am I gonna do, Kimchi?"

"Prrrt!" responded Kimchi.

"Oh, that's your answer to everything." said Chowder irritably.

To Be continued...

(Chowder and all related characters are the property of Cartoon Network.)