Title: Maybe It's Better
Author: Emo Barbie
Summary: Justin's off to college, and for some reason he just can't decide on whether or not to tell his parents his secret.
Warning: This story may just be crap! It's been sitting on my laptop since I ended up watching the episode were Justin directs the play of peter pan. I don't have a beta, so please excuse any errors, and believe me, I wrote this right after the episode. While trying to write and watch Phineas and Ferb. T_T Sorrys.
EXTRA WARNING: This is yaoi! Well, in japenese that means MalexMale for those who are not associated with the term. So if you don't like, do you see that little backspace up above? Yeah, press it! Quick! Press it before your eyes are forever stained with the horror of gayness and you can never go back to the innocent mind that you once had!
Maybe It's Better
"I can't believe my baby's leaving me!" Justin had to dodge his mother's grasp as she reached out to pinch his cheeks, tears filling her eyes.
"Come on mom, I'm sure Justin will be fine." Alex muttered with as much feeling as a student reading a history book, opening up the back door to the car. Justin knew she was just waiting for him to get out of the house. It was a god sent to her.
His suitcase was placed atop the car and his other bags were stuffed in the trunk, much to Max's dismay. He had been wanting to stow away in there, but was now being forced to sit in the back with Justin and Alex in the backseat. Justin made his way into the back after his sister, his mother moving to sit in the passenger seat as their father finally started up the car. Impatient of having to sit around any longer while his wife cooed and cried over their oldest son.
Justin sighed as he took his seat next to Max, Alex having had to crawl over the none budging adolescence, since he refused to scoot over. His loss.
"I just don't see why he can't stay another year at home, you know, chill out, sit on the couch...let mommy take care of her baby a little more..." his mother had started crying again, burying her face in her hands as she let out those little motherly sobs as they chocked off her words.
He had felt kinda bad, he had thought of telling her that he would have stayed. Maybe just one year. But in truth the thought of being one year behind didn't quite sit well for him. His father was still mad that he had decided to hand the family's magic down to his sister, deciding that regular college life was for him. But despite both his parents objections, Justin had declined the offers, and insisted he wanted to go to college this year. He couldn't wait.
-=-=Justin's POV=-=-
I had been thankful to Alex and Max for the work they had done on my letter, and I had been thankful for the help from Alex and my father during the play. I was also thankful to that flutter fairy, cause if it hadn't been for her and Alex, that whole "inner demon" thing would have never even worked. And since I'm sure I would have never gotten approved, I was even more thankful, but if I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to follow after them...
Oh, that was right. I hadn't told anyone about them. It was the only reason I wanted to truly go to that college so badly in the first place. I couldn't stand the thought of being away. I guess it's what you get when you fall so hard for someone. But...I wasn't sure if I should tell them or not. I mean, what if they don't like it? What if they decide that it's a bad idea for me to go after all and turn around before I even have the chance of seeing the college? What if they don't permit me to see them?
On the other hand, I really did hate lying to my parents. After all that they had done for me. Here I was, keeping a secret from them. I mean it wasn't like I was lying to them or anything, but somehow it still felt as if I were deceiving them in a way by not saying anything to begin with.
I mean, in all truth that was the only reason why I wanted to go here so badly. I had never really had any interest in it until they told me that was where they'd been accepted. It was why I had wanted to go so badly...though later on I was to find out that it was the exact same college that the principle had gone to. Auh. But still even with that being the case, and even if the principle didn't write me a paper to get in, that still hadn't stopped me from wishing and hoping to go. So, when the letter of approval had come, I had been the most happiest kid in the world...well, in the house at least. Even with Max having found his lost "experiment"...which I still have no idea what the hell it was, but I was certain experiment or not, whatever it was on that plate shouldn't have been moving.
"Hey, Justin." I glanced up from the scenery, my mind having been even to preoccupied to take it in, it had never fully even registered through my thoughts.
"Yeah." I muttered.
"Do you know anyone there? I mean, are you sure your gonna be okay alone?"
I rolled my eyes at my father's concern. "I'm going to be fine dad. There are a few people I knew from school that are attending. There's nothing to be worried about." I watched as my father searched the mirror, his eyes studying the mirrored me for a moment before turning his eyes back towards the road. Doing the same, I realized just how close we were.
I felt that over joyful glee at the pit of my stomach, knowing just who awaited me, and I felt that tug of nervousness as well. It had only been a month since I had saw the other last, but to me...that seemed way to long. And as the car drew nearer and nearer I felt that excitement escalate, despite my attempts to thwart them. Didn't need my parents asking to many questions.
"Here, here! Stop the car here!" I almost shouted as my father pulled the car to a halt in front of a large fountain.
"Are you sure?" He furrowed his brows.
"Yeah." I would have rolled my eyes had they not already been searching the campus grounds as I got out. My father and mother followed suit, Alex only bothering to wave goodbye through the window and Max still throwing his childish tantrum. I moved to pull my bags out of the trunk, while my father and mother unstrapped my suitcase and pulled it down from the top of the car, my father the one handing it off to me. "Thanks." I quickly stated as I turned to survey around us again, but I was cut short by my father giving him an over exaggerated hug, and then my mother. I think my mother was cutting off my wind pipe for a moment.
"Oh, my baby." My mother pulled away as my father nodded his head.
"Yeah, we're so very proud of you, son." I felt that pull of guilt again, about not telling them about my love. Well...about the person I loved. I wasn't so sure about how the other felt yet.
"We'll come visit you! Promise." I began to argue the point but my eyes had been focused on the grounds again and when I turned my attention back towards my parents I found that they had already made it over to the car, I had insisted I wanted them no further then dropping me off, and were climbing in. Leaving me to ponder after them on what I had missed.
The feeling of betrayal, of guilt, was still there wallowing in my chest, even though I argued with myself that it shouldn't. I'd tell them later on...if anything ever really produced from this little love crush, then maybe...maybe I would have the courage to bring it up. Maybe when they visited sometime. And maybe even Alex might understand...though I doubted it, she was always looking for something to tease me about, like my doll-my action figure collection, thank you very much. In which I did indeed have in my suitcase. I wasn't taking any chance of Max getting any of them, or worse, Alex. I shuttered at the memories of the last bout with my Calico women and the manikin. Yeah, maybe it was better if I didn't tell Alex about my secret. But then again...she would eventually find out. Alex was like that...maybe...she already even knew.
I sighed, and turned to stare up at the clouds that were floating over head. maybe I should have told my parents before they left, maybe they would have understood. Or maybe-
"Hey! Justin!" I turned around to find Zeke waving at me, that big goofy grin that I adored plastered on his handsome face. I allowed a smile to grace my own lips as I gave an enthusiastic wave back to my crush.
I guess it's okay if they don't find out...at least for now...
It's so sad T_T The version that I made first came up with was so much better...and longer, but my computer crashed and it took me three months before I was able to get a new one and then when I finally did and went to type this story back up again...T_T The main points had all disappeared and I could only remember pieces and parts of it. The only real thing I remembered was the ending where Justin's thinking about how he should have told his parents about his crush and then Zeke appears, revealing that Justin was talking about him, and then it ends with something like "I guess it's better if they don't find out..."
T_T I know it's not much, but I thought it had been just a good idea at first and then I went to write it all down after so long, T_T And that great masterpiece was ruined! My own story ruined by my own hands T_T
Review if you're interested. Reviews are always lovely, they keep people writing you know. Also prompts! I haven't done one yet, but I also haven't had any suggestions. So feel free if you're ever interested.