Hey guys! So this is my first story for the Madam Secretary fandom. This story begins with the scene at the end of 2x19 "Desperate Remedies" where Elizabeth and Henry are in the kitchen and decide to "fool around on the couch" until the lasagne is ready. This story will take off after they leave the kitchen. So I took a different approach with this scene and it kind of centers around their relationship and how that has changed after Dmitri's "death". I also worked a thing or two of 2x20 in it.

Please note that English is not my mother tongue but I tried my best haha. I also T-rated this story just to be on the safe side but this could just pass as a K+. Happy reading!

"How was your day?" Henry asked on their way to the couch in the living room.

"Oh, on balance, one of the good ones. You?" Elizabeth said. It actually has been quite good. And that's saying a lot, considering the fact that at any given moment another crisis could struck leaving her to pick up the pieces. Again. Making her stay late at the State Department. Again... But fortunately, not today.

Elizabeth turned around to look at her husband who hasn't responded yet. Henry was thinking about his response. Well, how has his day been? Exhausting. Nerve-wrecking. Tiring.

So the usual? Henry groaned internally.

That's basically the description of his entire week. Not to mention the previous ones. There was just so much to do at work and every day he went home with just as little progress as the day before. It was frustrating to say the least. But the best part of his day was still coming home to his family. He couldn't forget about work entirely but hearing the kids argue about something that's not work-related, cooking dinner with them and spending some quality time together is definitely helping him to get his mind off of HS for a few hours. Except today, every one of their kids was either out with friends or have already eaten and then retreated back to their respective rooms to get some studying done, leaving their parents alone to spend an evening to themselves. The smell of the reheated lasagne already waving through the air.

Just then, he remembered his wife asking him a question which he has yet to answer. He saw her flopping down on the couch and waiting for him to join her. Standing at the end of the couch, he glanced at his beautiful wife with a slight smirk.

''Well, that remains to be seen.'' And with that he moved to lie on top of her. Moving each of his legs to her side, supporting his weight. Henry reached for a cushion and put it under head, helping her to get into a comfortable position. She smiled at him appreciatively. His hands rested next to her head on the armrest. Lifting his eyes to meet hers, he caught her look. Her incredibly blue eyes sparkled under the dim light. After over two decades, they still managed to put him under their spell. She had the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen and he all too loved to get lost in the deep sea of blue. But not only the color fascinated him, it was how she was able to convey her feelings to him without necessarily putting them into words. It's one of his many favorite features about her.

In this moment, he saw exhaustion and tiredness from her day at the office but a much more prominent emotion was love. So much love for him. He knew that she loved him dearly and he, without a doubt, loved her just as much. However, he was also aware of the fact he hasn't been showing that he does as of recently. He admitted to himself a while ago that he was indeed still angry at her about this whole Dmitri thing. What happened in Switzerland couldn't just be swept under the rug and forgotten, like the President of the United States hadn't just given the order to give up this young man's life in exchange for Russia's discretion about the US attack on its power system. No. It's not that easy as much as he wished it could be.

Despite all of this, it didn't mean that he should've stopped relying on Elizabeth. But he did. He just wasn't able to talk to her, be with her the way both of them were so used to. He distanced himself from her intentionally because he couldn't control himself not to blow up at her every time she encouraged him to let her know what's been bothering him. Rationally, he knew it wasn't exactly her fault. She didn't have any influence on Conrad's decision to hand Dmitri over. She could always advice him not to do it but in in the end, it wasn't her call. But lately, he wasn't thinking with reason but with emotions. He was too personally invested which was the problem in the first place but he just couldn't help it. He couldn't just turn it off now. What was he supposed to do?

So he did the first thing that came to mind, putting distance between him and his wife. It was the wrong move and he understood that. She didn't deserve his cold shoulder and to be put through his rapidly changing mood swings, ranging from normal to disappointed to dismissive and most of the time ending in anger where he just yelled at her for no apparent reason.

Did he have the right to be angry? Of course.

Did it entitle him to let it out on his loving wife? No. Never. There's absolutely no excuse for doing it.

The last thing he wanted was to push his wife away from him forever. He couldn't lose her no matter what. They have been through so much. There have been a few downs in the history of their relationship but all their ups definitely outweighed those bad times. He couldn't let this one awful situation dictate their marriage moving forward. Life was too short to dwell on unpleasant experiences, to let his anger overshadow the overwhelming love he had for the woman underneath him who he was more than grateful for to be able to call his wife. His life was so much better with her in it and he wouldn't want it any other way. So why try to keep this extraordinary woman from enriching his life further? Why let this rift between them become bigger and bigger with each passing day?

Henry was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice he's been staring at Elizabeth for minutes without so much as a word. Elizabeth noticed the change in her husband's eyes. When he first locked eyes with her, he was somewhat relaxed, in a way lost. But after that his eyes were glazing over like they used to nowadays. At some point his gaze started drifting.

Henry, what are you thinking about?

Hesitantly she put both hands on his shoulders and squeezed them lightly to get his attention. His train of thoughts was interrupted once he registered her touch, having to blink a few times to get his mind to focus on her.

''Are you okay? You've been kind of... absent just then.'' Her voice was laced with concern. Her hands massaging his tense shoulders while she waited for him to reply.

''Yeah, sorry about that. I was just... I've been thinking about you. Us. I've come to realise that these past few weeks have been tough for the both of us. We've changed. We haven't been the same people ever since what happened with Dmitri.'' Sighing, he was trying to find the right words.

Meanwhile Elizabeth could only anxiously await whatever it is that Henry's trying to say. She couldn't help but think that it must be something bad. It wasn't exactly the cliché phrasing ''I think we need to talk'' but the way he started the conversation, she suspected only two possible outcomes. One, he'll tell her that he just can't forgive her yet and doesn't know when they can return back to normal again. Or two, he'll tell her that there was absolutely no way for him to get passed this and it would be for the best to separate now for good. Honestly, she didn't know which option she would prefer because both sounded pretty horrific. An uneasy feeling started creeping in and she could already feel the sweat forming at the back of her neck. Tears welled up at the possibility of losing Henry over this.

She removed her hands from his shoulders, grabbed his face and mustered with all her strength in order to hold the tears at bay ''Henry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.''.

Confusion casted his features as he took in what she just said. She wasn't supposed to be the one apologising for anything right now. She's already done that countless times. Now it's his turn.

He leaned his arms against the cushion which supported her head and lowered his body on top of hers but still holding his own weight. He needed to be closer to her. Their faces were only a few inches apart. Next he rested his forehead against hers lovingly and saw her close her eyes at the contact. He went ahead and closed his as well. It's been a while since they've had an intimate moment like this and he just realised that he had missed it immensely.

''No. Babe, you don't need to apologise to me. I'm the one who should be sorry. I've let this... thing come between us. It caused our marriage great pain. I... I've caused you so much pain. Pain that you didn't ever deserve and for that I'm so very sorry.'' Taking a deep breath before continuing ''I'm also sorry for not being the husband that you needed me to be. I did everything that I thought I'd never do to you including screaming at you, not being there for you, neglecting you. I need you to believe me when I say that I love you, Elizabeth.''

Henry rubbed his nose against hers, prompting her to look at him. When she did, she smiled at him. The confirmation of his love isn't something she'd heard a lot of these days which made it all the more wonderful to hear it again.

He stroked the soft skin of her cheek while he carried on with his speech ''I love you more than anything in this world and I never want to lose you. You're my wife, the most important person in my life. You make life so much better. Elizabeth McCord, you're my soulmate. You mean everything to me and I still need you, babe, and... I'm just hoping I haven't ruined us for good!'' his voice broke at the last sentence. Silent tears were running down his face.

He's never looked this broken before. Elizabeth also shed tears at the sight of her husband. I still need you. That's what he said. She knew that she needed to fix him. She couldn't just forget about everything and pretend like he never acted this way towards her but Elizabeth couldn't handle seeing him this miserable anymore.

She wiped the tears from his face and pulled him close to her so she plant a tender kiss to his cheek. Another one. And another one. ''Elizabeth, I'm so-''

''Henry, stop.''

''No, I need you to know.'' he insisted on making sure that she understood.

''I do know.'' nodding her head ''It's been rough but we'll get through this somehow. Together. I mean, we have to, don't we? There's no other option than that, right?'' the question didn't hide her insecurity and it wasn't supposed to.

''Elizabeth, listen to me carefully, I said it before: a separation or divorce is completely off the table. We're not one of those couples. And we are not going to be another number in the statistics. I'll never let that happen.'' He was trying to be as direct as he could. He was serious about it. An option that didn't involve them still being together was not even worth considering.

''It will always be you and me.'' he added with a sincere smile.

''Okay. You and me it is then.'' a similar smile tugging on her lips, feeling hopeful again after months not knowing what will happen to them.

Feeling an overwhelming need to kiss him, she cupped his face with her hands and pulled him down so she could easily press her lips against his. He didn't miss a beat and kissed her back instantly, trying to pour all his love in that one kiss. She took his lower lip between hers and heard Henry let out a content sigh. Their lips didn't move but instead just stayed in a long and passionate lip-lock. Their talk had drained them both emotionally and now all they wanted to do was to stop thinking and worrying and just feel again. It was intimate. It was them.

After holding the kiss for as long as she could, she broke it off to get some much needed oxygen back in her lungs. But Henry had other ideas and let her catch her breath just enough before he doved in for another mind-numbing kiss, his hands tangling in her soft, blonde locks. Their kisses have always been special and nothing has changed about that in the last 25 years. It's that familiarity which puts them at ease but at the same time makes them sort of giddy. To know that you've been together for so long and yet the touch of your loved one can still make you feel like you're floating on air. This is what both of them love and appreciate so much. The fireworks were there all along.

He caressed her lips tenderly, worshipping every centimeter and not leaving any skin untouched. He felt a shiver running over her body and took the opportunity to press his entire form against her, connecting with her physically as well. His fingers made a fist in her hair and pulled her back to have more leverage. In this position he was now able to devour her to his heart's desire and Elizabeth let him. Henry nibbled on her bottom lip which made her moan in delight. She felt so hot that it didn't take too long before a heavy blush covered her cheeks. Her heart was beating so rapidly under his ministration that she was certain he'd be able to feel it too. One of her hands roamed his back under his suit jacket, feeling the strong muscles underneath his shirt, before settling on his lower back while her arm curled under his arm in order for her other hand to grip his shoulder tightly.

His tongue tentatively moved along her lips begging for entrance which she happily complied to. Not wanting to wait any longer, his tongue made its way in her mouth and began giving her tongue a few strokes before going in for the kill, sucking at it heatedly. A loud moan filled the room and did nothing but fuel the fire inside Henry. He desperately needed to taste her. By tilting his head to the left he had enough room to continue his eager exploration which was always accompanied by another pleasing moan or whimper from Elizabeth.

After a while she had to push him back with a gasp due his insistent kisses which literally threatened to suck all the air out of her lungs. Upon losing contact with her, he opened his eyes to see Elizabeth looking back at him, breathing harshly from their makeout-session. Her lips were red and swollen from being kissed so thoroughly, he assumed his own probably looked about the same. Her usually styled hair was mussed up and several strands were sticking to the couch cushion underneath her head. And her blue eyes had that dreamy look which was only reserved for him. He loved seeing her like this.

''You're so beautiful.'' he said while retrieving his hand from her hair to stroke her cheek gently.

Giggling she answered ''So are you.'' while running her hand through the hair on the back of his neck.

''Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. I know other people would have given up on me but you didn't. I'm very grateful for that and especially for you, Elizabeth.''

''Henry.''

''I mean it. I don't know what I would do without you. And I promise you that I will work through my issues.'' Placing both hands at the side of her face, he whispered against her lips ''I. Love. You. So. Much.'' Kissing her between each word and ending his confession with multiple kisses around her face. Her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose, her forehead, her temple, just anywhere he could reach.

Grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket she pulled him back to her lips and said ''I love you too, Henry.'' before pecking his mouth sweetly, feeling him smile against her. But before he could swoop her up in another smooch, she stopped him ''Maybe we should take this upstairs. Stevie's not home yet and I think it's for the best if she doesn't walk in on us doing something we shouldn't be doing in the living room. Because we'll never hear the end of it.'' He laughed at her rolling her eyes.

''Alright, fine.'' he replied with a pout but shrugging his shoulders right after ''Well, you're louder in bed anyway so.'' Henry saw Elizabeth's jaw dropping. ''Henry McCord, what did you just say?'' He could clearly identify her fake indignation laced with a bit of amusement. Just a tiny little bit.

''You're quite vocal in bed, babe. But I didn't say that it's a bad thing.'' with a smirk, he moved his mouth to her ear and whispered ''Do you actually know how hot it is to hear you moan and scream my name whenever you're caught up in our lovemaking?'' She blushed profusely at his question but made no move to answer it so he did it for her. ''Let me tell you, it is insanely hot and just makes me want you even more. Will I hear you tonight?'' Ending his question with a lick at the shell of her ear, making her shiver.

''Maybe you should find out.'' running her hand through his hair.

''Mh-mm. Our bedroom. Now.'' With that, he pushed himself up from the couch and pulling Elizabeth along with him and quickly ushering her to the stairs.

Halfway up the stairs, she turned around to look back at her husband ''Maybe we should get the lasagne out of the microwave first.''

With his hands on her hips he restricted any of her movements ''Elizabeth. You're not going anywhere but straight to our room. Understood?'' He was using his playful, yet authoritative voice with her. Things always got very interesting when he did that…

She bit her lip and just nodded before continuing to make her way upstairs, Henry following close behind until they reached their destination. Once inside, he's going to show her exactly how grateful he was to have her by his side.

Thank you to everyone who read this. I would be really interested in what you think of this story so reviews are greatly appreciated! I was also wondering if my writing style was okay…? I noticed that this story is quite detailed most of the time and I'm not sure if that's a positive thing or not because it may/can get too drawn out in a way that makes reading the entire piece really tedious. Therefore I would be grateful if you could comment on this as well.

By the way, I know I kind of left all of you hanging there who thought I would also write what happens in their bedroom… I haven't decided yet to do a second chapter to this because I've never written smut or anything close to a love scene sooo for now you should consider this a complete story. But I could change my mind about it.