Citadel of Stars
It is highly suggested that you listen to the song "Citadel of Stars" by Iver at some point during or after this fic. It's the inspiration for this story and is truly a beautiful song. Plus, I can really see Nick's and Meaghan's voices working for the song.
Flufftastic. I just can't bring myself to make these two angsty.
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I.
He says he hates her sequined dresses, but he really finds them strangely appealing.
II.
Even though most girls dig his "look at me I'm so serious" look, Tess thinks it's a little goofy. She'd prefer it if he could smile a little more.
III.
The first time Nate talks to her, he's not really sure what to think.
After touring with the band and sometimes Mitchie and sometimes Caitlyn and usually Peggy all year, and realizing it's going in a different, albeit good, direction, things are a little hectic in Nate's life. He's seriously considering some sort of solo project, so he goes to see Brown one day for advice, because he wants real advice and not cheap talk from a "manager" who really only cares about making money.
He explains his desire to do something more with his own music, and how he's been writing a few songs, and how he feels like he's totally out of the loop at the camp he used to call heaven on earth, and how he's lost inspiration. Things he wasn't even aware he felt come tumbling out of his mouth and the "reserved" member of Connect 3 is incredibly embarrassed.
Brown remains silent for a few moments before speaking.
"You know, Nate, I hate to be an opportunist here and I'd hate to make you think I was taking advantage of you, but there's a girl here who could probably help you out with your songwriting. And she probably needs a friend even more than you do." Nate gladly takes Brown's advice, because he was true music veteran who has his campers' best interests at heart and seeks out Tess Tyler, against his own better judgment.
It's clear to Nate she's the one ostracized this year. There's always one camper who just doesn't have any friends, for one reason or another. And to tell you the truth, it is kind of obvious she would be the one left out. He doesn't expect this completely different girl, though. She has presumably foregone the usual styling products, and for the first time he sees her as this fresh-faced girl. She's even traded her usual glitzy clothing, instead wearing khakis and a pink tee shirt. She looks at him curiously as he approaches her awkwardly in the cafeteria during free time. He feels a pang as he realizes he's probably the first person to speak with her all summer. He brushes it off, because this is the time to be business-like and not the time to acknowledge feelings he doesn't quite understand.
"Hey," he says after clearing his throat. It's become pretty dry. "Um…."
"Can I help you?" Tess asks suspiciously.
"Yeah, actually. I'm writing some material for future songs, but they're not going to sell unless I have at least one or two about love, since that seems to be popular, you know? And Brown said you could help me." He stumbles through his well-prepared speech.
"Mitchie would probably be more of a help," she mutters, looking down into her lap.
"I dunno. Brown specifically said you were the one to talk to. Unless you don't want to work with me, I would totally understand…" Truth be told, he hadn't even considered her turning him down. He's not good with rejection, and even some camper telling him she didn't want to help him is a little unnerving.
"I'll help," she says eventually. She extends her hand to him, and he shakes it, smiling at her.
Her smile lights up her face.
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After three weeks of writing night and day, they become something akin to friends. They eat together at lunch, and say hello to each other when they pass by each other, and Nate tries to get his friends to stop being so mean to her.
She tells him flat out when they first start working together that she's not willing to just open up, and that she's not comfortable talking about herself. That's fine by Nate, since he really just wants help writing lyrics, but as they work on their song, he starts to wonder what motivates her to write the things she does, and why she avoids the subject of her family. He senses she doesn't quite trust him yet, so he tells her about himself so when she decides to talk, she knows he's genuine. He tells her about his little sister that he misses because he never really gets to see her, about the elementary school he went to where he has all his best memories, and pretty much anything else he can think of. She listens, and smiles when he rambles on.
Sometimes he thinks she's quite pretty.
The other campers still hate her, so she doesn't have many friends. He makes a point to show everyone else that he's her friend, and after a while they stop being so outright rude to her.
She starts to tell him a little about herself afterward.
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They perform their song at one of the Campfire Jams. Shane and Jason have no idea he even had a song prepared, let alone that Tess was singing with him. He tells her she's like a secret weapon, because once he convinces her to forget the synthesizer, he realizes she has a beautiful voice. It's not as unique as Peggy's or as strong as Mitchie's, but it's Tess. And it's good.
They take the stage amidst hesitant applause, and Nate sits down at the keyboard Caitlyn had been using moments before. Tess sits next to him, almost hiding behind him. She's shaking, she's never been this nervous to perform before, and Nate guesses it's because the music is way different than anything she's performed. He squeezes her hand before he starts to play.
The piano music is much different from his usual style, and the crowd is hushed into silence and he and Tess make their way through the first verse.
And until now, I never touched an angel
And until now, everything was fine
And until now, I felt so ordinary
And until now, I never knew that someone felt like me
They switch off on lines during the chorus, and their voices blend seamlessly when they sing together.
There's a brief pause at the end, when all of the campers absorb the music.
The applause is deafening.
As they take their bows, Nate beams at Tess. She tugs his hand gently and leans in to ask him a question.
"Are we still friends?" she asks nervously.
"Of course," he replies automatically, surprised.
She finally releases her breath and grins.
IV.
Tess Tyler is an ice queen.
She's heard it murmured behind her back, and even spoken to her face.
She lives up to everyone's expectations. Why not put on a show? She is a performer, after all.
But no matter how hard she tries, she can never be an ice queen to Nate. He's her only friend. And he gets her more than even she realizes.
He's the first person she really cares for, other than herself. She finds that she wants him to succeed, even if it means that she doesn't see him as much or puts her out of the spotlight. Seeing Nate happy makes her happy, and that's a new concept for Tess.
She doesn't know how to really express it, though. She's not the touchy-feely type of person. She doesn't hug her girlfriends when she sees them, and she doesn't get physically affectionate with boys.
So it's weird when she has this compulsion to lean over and brush Nate's hair out of his eyes when they're working on their song. Or when he gets all sad when he talks about Clara, his little sister, and he looks like a puppy dog, Tess feels this urge to hold his hand or give him a hug or something, just so he knows she's there for him.
She feels it especially strongly when Caitlyn flirts with Nate and touches his arm every so often.
He complains to her one day during their free time after a particularly grueling day about the band, how he's worked so hard and it's always been Shane to jump in and save everything. He complains that the girls are always around, always distracting Shane and Jason when they really need to get work done. He complains that he's tired of being dependable, reserved Nate.
"But I like that Nate," she admits mildly.
"You're the only one," he says gruffly. Slowly, hesitantly, she reaches out and places her hand gently on his shoulder. They sit silently like that for a bit.
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Being affectionate is not something that comes easily to Tess. But luckily, Nate seems to get that. As she gets to know him more, she feels more comfortable around him and slowly, she builds up the trust and confidence to express her affection. She occasionally touches his arm when they're discussing something the band and he gets frustrated to calm him down.
She always asks if she can hug him, because he's hard to read, and he's one of the very few people she wants to please. He always seems surprised when she asks, but he never says no.
Sometimes, when he admits something to her out of the blue, and she has no response, she runs her fingers through his hair, and he gets that that's her way of sympathizing.
When he asks her out at the end of camp, she's so caught up in her euphoria that she practically jumps on him and holds him tightly. She doesn't even have to yes for him to know she agrees.
V.
Quite honestly, Tess doesn't really like Mitchie or Caitlyn at first, for obvious reasons.
But Nate tries to make her feel more included when he realizes that her bitchiness kept everyone away. So whenever they hang out, Mitchie and Caitlyn are there, pretending to be friends but silently judging her.
Shane hates her too, on Mitchie's behalf, so the only person who talks to her is Jason.
Jason might just be her new best friend. She never was very good at being friends with girls, anyway.
Tess isn't stupid. She knows that Shane thinks Tess lured Nate away from Connect and put the idea of a solo project in his head, and that she's trying to tear the band apart. But couldn't the same be said, in a way, of Mitchie? But she's the bad girl here, so she guesses she's going to have to prove to them she's not as manipulating as she looks. She's changed, okay? She knows it's corny, but a lot can happen in one year. There's no way she would have deserved Nate last year at all.
But anyway, when she's around, they try to be nice, but she knows it's so uncomfortable because things were never fully resolved and until Tess proves that she's not a bad girl anymore, Caitlyn and Mitchie don't really trust her. And she doesn't really blame them, but it's annoying.
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After being forced to spend time with these girls all year, they start to grow on her. She knows that Caitlyn misses her parents more than she's willing to admit and her dog is her best friend, and Mitchie wants to live by the sea when she gets older and teach piano lessons if fame doesn't work out, and Jason knows everything and anything related to quantum physics. Yeah, it freaks her out, too.
She starts to get to know them, and she almost wants to be their friend. Almost.
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The mean girl at camp the summer after she starts dating Nate is Victoria. British boarding school snob with the looks to match, she's a vicious opponent and has no problem telling people exactly what she thinks of them. Victoria views Mitchie as stiff competition and for some reason decides to make her life as difficult as possible. Tess just scoffs because, hello, been there, done that. It doesn't work, okay?
She tries in her own way to reassure Mitchie, but nothing seems to work. So she just stays quietly at her side and lets Caitlyn and Peggy do the comforting, because Caitlyn knows how to break the tension with a joke, and Peggy knows how to listen, and Tess doesn't really know what to do with herself. So she just stays by her side in a show of solidarity.
She's minding her own business one day when she hears Victoria talking to Mitchie. Tess always knew Victoria had a mean side, but the stuff coming out of her mouth is downright ugly. The old Tess would have been majorly impressed. The new Tess, the one who wants to make Nate proud, the one who's been humbled more times than she'd care to admit, the one who realizes everyone makes mistakes, is disgusted. Mitchie, who never had much of a backbone to begin with, is crumbling. And Tess feels an overwhelming urge to do something.
So she channels the old Tess and sends this brat from the other side of pond to her knees. Being cutthroat has its advantages sometimes. As Victoria leaves humbly, Mitchie looks at Tess gratefully.
"You know, you've got a lot of talent, but you really need to learn to stick up for yourself, Mitchie," she says. She and Mitchie both know it's her peace offering, the olive branch, and luckily for Tess Mitchie accepts it. They walk to lunch together, and when Mitchie fills everyone in on what's happened, Caitlyn acknowledges Tess with a fist bump and Jason gives her a hug.
The best is when Nate leans over and kisses her temple.
"That's my girl," he says proudly, putting an arm around her.
As a general rule, Tess doesn't get choked up, but Nate saying he was proud of her made her want to cry.
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When Tess realizes things aren't going to get better with her mom years later, she moves out of her Hollywood mansion and into a studio apartment with Caitlyn and Peggy and Mitchie. And she loves it. She loves them.
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Disclaimer: I am in no way making any sort of profit off of this. Disney owns all, pretty much. (Did you know the parks have their own power sources?) Just thought I should put that out there.
