What About Now?, a mortal instruments fanfic

Hey Everyone. Inspiration comes in many shapes- I have found that my best friends are quite inspiring. Kritio- that day on the couch with you and Jace was priceless. I hope to have more. XRay- I would run in the park with you even if you ran like Phoebe. I love you girls.

Side note- I will be updating soon on my other story, Lightning and Thunder (shameless advertising right there!).

I must take this time to say that I don't own the Mortal Instruments series (cause if I did, do you really think I would let anyone but me have Jace?) and this song- What about now by Chris Daughtry is not mine either.

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Jace sat on his bed, a few hours after 'the talk' at Taki's. He curled himself up in a ball with his head in his hands, rocking back and forth with the pain of it all.

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

He couldn't believe he had told her that he just wanted to be her brother. How could he have lied to her about something so important? How was he supposed to just continue as though he wasn't in love with his sister? As though he didn't want to spend every waking moment with her? How could he pretend that he didn't want to be by her side forever and always? He stood up from his bed and started pacing, trying to relieve the ache in his chest.

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

She is so stubborn! He didn't understand how she couldn't see the love that he has for her. The love he will always have for her. She makes him feel alive; no matter what goes on in the world, she is the most important thing to him. How can he live without being with her?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

He brought himself to a complete stop in front of the closet. Screw this. He thought to himself. She needs to know what she means to me, before it's too late. He knows how short a Shadowhunter's life can be; he needs her to know how much he loves her and how he doesn't care what the world thinks. Not sure how he is going to tell her; Jace just knows that he has to tell her.

He grabs his coat on the way out of the institute, only to see that the sun is on its way up already, but he doesn't care either way. He found the house and then her window as quick as he could and before he can stop to think about what he was doing, he was tapping on her window.

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

Her sleepy eyes found his in the morning light and he watched as hers widen in shock. He motions to the window and she opened it.

"What are you doing here, Jace? Is everything alright?" The concern shown him is almost his undoing. He came through her window and found himself looking at the most beautiful angel in pajamas he had ever seen. All thoughts flee from his head when he gets a good look at her. The small tank top and short set she was wearing was not meant to be sexy, but he thought a gorilla suite would look sexy on her.

"Nothing's wrong, I just needed to talk to you." He said, pacing away from her, knowing that if he got too close he would lose what small control he had. She watches him for a moment and then sits back on the bed, curling up with a blanket.

He knelt beside her bed and took her hands in his. "Clary, I came to tell you…to tell you…well, I love you. I always have, since the moment I saw you in that stupid club, I loved you. I can't live without you, please don't make me."

She breathed his name and scooted closer to him. "But what about-" Her words were cut off by his finger on her lips.

"Please don't say it. I can't stand the thought of not being with you. Watching you fall in love with someone else, getting married. Please, Clary, don't say it."

"Jace, I can't-"

He cut her off again. "Tell me you don't love me. Tell me you don't want to see me again and I will walk away."

Clary looked down at his hands holding hers and sighed. She wasn't sure if she could lie to him about that.

"Come on, Clary. Tell me you don't love me and need me as much as I need you."

Clary met Jace's gaze and studied him. Could he really love her like she loves him? Was this finally the time that she could confess how much she needs him?

"Jace, I can't tell you that." Clary saw his eyes light up with joy and then just as quickly, darken with need. He shot up faster than was humanly possible and pulled her up out of bed and had her standing in front of him within seconds.

"Please, Clary, just tell me you love me. Forget about blood for a minute and just tell me how you feel."

Clary took a deep breath and said, "Jace, you know it's only ever been about you. How can you not see I love you? It physically hurts trying to separate myself from you. What are we going to do?"

Jace just shrugged and pulled her into his arms. At the same time, they breathed a sigh of relief and of longing for more.

Clary, her control finally broken, tilted her head and caught his lips with hers. Jace felt fire rip through his body and couldn't help the shudder that pushed him closer to her. Clary found herself pushed against the door of her closet with Jace wrapped around her. She couldn't think of a better place to be right then but in his arms. Jace gently nipped at her bottom lip and she gasped in surprise which he took advantage of by sliding his tongue along hers. It was her turn to shudder and she moaned slightly when he drew back.

"As much as I am enjoying this, we need to stop. We will find a way. I promise. For now, can I stay with you?"

She took a deep breath to calm her hormones and nodded. She took his hand and led him over to the bed where they curled up together not worrying about the future but content with the now.

Thanks guys. Review if you want. Also- check out my other story, Lightning and Thunder.