Warning: contains incoherence, and blatant disregard for capitalization. Royai for life :)
and this, it aches, like a withering flame, a palm lain upon an open heart with only the best intentions.
we are not allowed to speak, to act on our will; we are tied with strings beyond control. nevertheless we are knotted with each other.
i'll follow you, stay with you, wait for you, into the very gates of hell as i once promised, and never once doubted since that moment. when hell turned into your side; did i not burn away? when hell subdued your footsteps, did i not endure?
i'm watching your back, for reasons we alone understand, and it has become wide and broad even in the absence of my gaze. i will never hesistate to let that back fall if need be, and i will never stop regretting every frame of that image in my mind. you must have known that when i take you down i will go nowhere but with you. i'm your subordinate, after all.
and this, between us, keeping us together and keeping us apart. i am not so foolish to believe that this would have happened without bullets or sparks from our fingertips, or a war's worth of blood on our hands. our mistakes led us to this corruption we are living, but also to each other.
it's really quite cruel how it has been ordained; we grew, we separated, we met, and we joined at the hip. i will not question why i am here, why i haven't left. the only order you ever wanted fulfilled was to take you down if needed, and soon the only thing i ever lived for was your safety. it's one or the other, yours or mine; i wonder if i will be selfish when it matters most.
i cannot say i love you, that i want you, that my only wish is to touch you. that will never be allowed of us, of me, for as long as we live. there is no use for lips or games or hearts here, only minds and eyes and hardened souls. wouldn't you know that i gave that to you too?
and so it aches, this longing, that does not even know what it would like to attain. and so it burns, this knowledge, to protect you from everyone but me, from no one but yourself. and so it kills, this devotion, that i will be wherever you go and we will never be spared the happiness we're prepared to grant everyone else. and so it lives, this world, and it will live even without me or you, or we.