So I know that I haven't updated Hot In Here or any of my other stories in quite a long time. I lost my creative juices for a bit. And I wrote this to, well, help me get over my block. And it's helped. That and reading Twilight makes everything awesome :D I love that book series so much, it's amazing. And I can't wait for the movie to come out. But anyways, read and review as always, thank you :)
Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue. SORIKU YAOI. Moderate number of references from Twilight (i also no own) and one from Naruto (no, no own). Any flames will be eaten.
On with the story...
"Hey Sora, you quitting already?" The silver haired teen called to his friend who was lying, quite haphazardly, on the ground. His aqua eyes kept on the brunet's form. There never came a reply. Riku sighed, Sora had been out of it ever since they came back from saving the worlds from Xemnas and finishing Kingdom Hearts, hopefully for good this time. He couldn't say that he should be over it by now, that type of experience never really would go away.
Riku sighed and let his keyblade dissipate, striding over to Sora. He wasn't very surprised that they were still able to use their keyblades, Sora was the key after all. Glancing shortly at Sora he sat down next to him, and stared out over the ocean. He crossed his arms over his knees and rested his chin on them. It was calm and quiet.
They were on their island, their own place to escape to, theirs. His and Sora's... Regrettably he added in the others like Kairi, and Wakka, Tidus and Selphie as well. But it was Sora and himself who had found the island in the first place. And they had gotten their parents to help them turn it into something that they could spend their time away at. Some place where you could just close your eyes and relax.
The others didn't come to the island much anymore. They had school and other commitments to attend to. He and Sora though didn't have to go to school. Their parents had nearly broken down when they saw their sons coming home after disappearing for a year. No word about how they've been or where they'd been. And when everything started getting settled, they had a choice to go back to school, or just be home schooled. Sora and Riku agreed to do the homeschooling together. Going to school after what they'd gone through just didn't seem right.
Aquamarine eyes watched as a gull dove into the water some way away to catch a fish. It pulled its pure white wings in and submerged under the waves. A few seconds later it came back up, with a small fish wriggling helplessly in its beak.
The silveret wasn't sure what was wrong with Sora these days. He was smiling as he always had, but there was a strange bitterness to it. Sora was off thinking by himself a lot since they had come back. A look of longing had made itself present while Sora was thinking a lot. Riku couldn't help but be jealous. He thought that Sora was probably thinking about sweet 'ole Kairi and her girlish charms. Ohh, just lovely. He mentally growled when he remembered the hug she had given Sora yesterday.
Riku didn't like other people putting their hands on something that should be his. Yes, he'd admit it. He, Riku Takashi, was in love with Sora Melamine. Though smitten, infatuated, taken, besotted, head over heels in love with Sora was a more accurate description. It had just kind of happened. Kind of. Their whole childhood together was the build up to it. All the friendliness when they were little, the camaraderie, it brought them closer together every day. He realized he was in love with Sora when the brunet had finally seen that it was Riku, and not who he thought to be Ansem in the World That Never Was. And Sora had cried. For him.
It felt like someone had tried inflating his heart with a tire pump.
But he didn't act on his feelings at that point, he kept himself together. What he had wanted to do was pull Sora up to him, arms wrapped around at the small of his back and kiss him. He had wanted to feel Sora's warm lips against his, soft and pliant against his. He wasn't going to risk Sora's friendship though, it had already weathered so much all ready.
So since then he'd stuck to Sora's side. Whether it was hanging out talking, or going to the island, grocery shopping for Sora's mom, whatever. He'd feel something click into place when he was with Sora. Like he'd been in pain the whole time until he was with Sora again. And he always did feel relieved with Sora, he was able to be himself. But he couldn't tell Sora how he felt, there was just too must at risk.
Sora still hadn't moved. He kept his eyes trained on the overhead sky as clouds passed, not really looking at the clouds. The brunet couldn't help to remember all his friends that he had made over the entire journey of fighting the Heartless, battling Xemnas and destroying Organization XIII, Axel, watching Ansem the Wise disappear before his very eyes…
But the important thing was that he was able to remember all the good times as well. Like meeting Goofy, Donald, King Micky, Cloud, Leon, Yuffie, Aerith, Merlin, The Gang back in Twilight Town, kicking Seifer's butt in the Struggle tournament and so many others. No matter how many enemies he had, his friends always mounted up greater. No matter how tough a challenge was, he always saw it through til the end and got it done.
There was something he didn't know if he could do though. He had a bit of a problem, not very troubling or an emergency, but a problem it was none the less. Ever since he had met Riku, he was blown away. His companionship, his grace and cunning, just everything that made Riku, Riku. Somewhere between those years as a child and those days now, he had fallen in love with his best friend. He knew he wasn't confused, no one made him feel like he did when he was with Riku.
Sora changed his view and looked at Riku, his heart filling with all the admiration and love that he has held for the teen. It almost hurt to feel so much for him, that thinking about it and feeling it wasn't helping his situation with his friend in their real life. Sora though couldn't just out right blurt what he was feeling, he didn't want to loose Riku's friendship over something like this loving feeling he felt for him.
"Sora," Riku murmured, Sora looked away again, "What's wrong?" Aqua was still glued to the sun as it began to dip over the horizon, throwing the sky into pale pinks and oranges. Reflections off the waves danced across his face, casting their beauty onto him, but he didn't need it in Sora's opinion.
Riku was… well, Riku. Unnerving, daring, thoughtful, strong Riku. Almost always besting him at everything. Who knew that he was still troubled over the whole ordeal of Kingdom Hearts and all the terrors that he bore witness to. To a certain amount, it was troubling, but his problems weren't the cause of that…
And then there was himself. Simple, childish, friendly, smiling Sora. They were polar opposites. Like anchovies and ice cream. Sora mentally blanched at the thought of anchovies. Sick. But somehow they were completely in tune with each other, they were like two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, it didn't seem right for them to be apart. There was a sense of completion when Sora was by him, an overwhelming sense of security and peace.
And his relationship with Kairi, well now it was nonexistent. He had always felt more like Kairi was his sister, nothing more than that though. He loved her, but not like the way that she thought, that she wanted. Today he was over on the other side of the island, sitting on top of a palm tree, watching the others play blitzball further down the beach. Kairi came to stand underneath the tree he was in and called his name.
"Sora?" He glanced at her and slid down the trunk of the tree, landing lightly on his feet.
"What's up?" He had asked.
"I was wondering whether you were happy now, that you're back home?" She smiled a little, a faint blush on her cheeks, but Sora didn't know why.
"Yeah. It's nice to be home again with everyone together. I missed them all so much... And now it's like I've never been gone. Everyone is safe again... I had to keep going back then, I had to drive myself forward... Or everything would've been worthless." Of course he was thinking about almost losing Riku. That would've been more than he could've bared.
"So you never gave up for me? You must love me a lot then right?" She had then grinned like she was the luckiest woman in the world… for a moment. Sore mentally frowned, she didn't understand the real meaning of his words. She was sure that he loved her, so certain of a fact that couldn't have been less true.
He remembered how he couldn't look her in the face, his pity and regret swelling in his chest. How he dropped his eyesight to the sand he was standing on and murmured, "Kai... I had never given up for Riku… It's because I love-"
Smack
His head forced to the side abruptly, he could feel the blood rushing to his cheek. He barely had time to actually register that Kairi had just slapped him. Then she ran. And he had just stood there, listening to her almost silent sobs, her sniffling fading away. Away. Like he was some ferocious disease that would kill you in a second if you got a whiff of it.
Sora reached up and touched his cheek. He winced as it stung, dropping his hand swiftly. He hadn't meant to be blunt like that to her, he also didn't think she'd react that way either. Sora felt a wet drop slip from his chin onto his chest. He raised his hand to his face again and that's when he realized it. He was crying.
Sora would've laughed but he couldn't. He felt drained. Like he had lost his heart all over again and he couldn't feel a thing. His blue eyes stayed locked on the shining moisture that he held on his fingers. "It's like I've already given up. My heart has already taken to the fact that Riku probably won't like me back… Man, what a pain."
To think that had happened just a few hours ago, it didn't seem right. It felt like months old, his heartache and chagrin weathered by the time. But it wasn't like that, things were falling apart and he didn't want to risk what he had with Riku. His chest tightened with the thoughts that brought. Heartbreak, depression, pain beyond anything imaginable.
Even after he had defeated Xemnas' heartless, before he had gone to Castle Oblivion, he remembered clearly when he had finally seen Riku. Before he vanished again that is. His eyes heartbreakingly beautiful, the voice traveling out of his mouth like music. He had told Sora to take care of Kairi, to keep her safe. Well... up until today he had done that. He'd protected her with what he could do, everything that he could manage. But he couldn't keep her like she wanted him to. She wanted true love and happiness.
Sora couldn't do that. He'd be lying to himself and her if he did.
"Sora?" Riku called his name. He was no longer sitting down, he was standing over the brunet and the sky had turned dark and the stars littered the sky twinkling. His face was black in the night, his eyes the only thing standing out.
"Y-yeah?" Sora felt a blush rush across his face. Thank god it was dark, oh thank god.
"Are you okay? You don't look so hot." Riku frowned and studied him carefully. Sora clenched his eyes shut quick and felt a shiver slide down his spine, wishing he had the nerve to tell Riku how he felt. But there was no way in Atlantica that Riku felt the same way..
"I'm, I'm okay, I'm good," He said, nodding his head like he was trying to assure himself as well. But there was a frown present on his face. Of course he wasn't good. He was head over heels in love with his friend that didn't feel the same way and there was no way in hell that they would ever end up together and.. and... Sora shook his head.
"What?" Riku knew something was up with Sora, he wasn't blind or stupid, he didn't know who Sora was trying to fool.. But Sora just shook his head again.
"It's nothing.. Just nothing." Sora said, barely above a whisper. The older rolled his eyes.
"Honestly Sora, if it really is nothing, then what's with that look?" Riku raised an eyebrow as Sora furrowed his own. 'So he thought he was hiding that did he..' Sora cleared his throat.
"Really Riku, it's nothing, just let it go." Riku shook his head.
"Nu-huh. And you should know better, it just means I'll have to do something." A feral grin spilled across his lips. Sora widened his eyes. It took all of two seconds to register what Riku had planned.
"Oh shit!!" Sora cried, trying to scramble away, but he was much too late. Riku had pounced, faster than a tiger, grin still in place as he pinned Sora to the sand. Both wrists struggling under Riku's much heavier grasp, waist being straddled by Riku. And he felt his entire face heat up like it was on fire. Again, he thanked god it was dark. Riku laughed, it sounded like deep wind chimes, mesmerizing.
"Now," Riku said and laughed, catching his breath at the same time, "You're gonna tell me what's wrong or we'll just be here all night."
"Riku." Sora growled from underneath him, blush not residing in the least, "You need to stop." Riku smiled cheekily. "Seriously." A raspberry was blown. "You just got your spit.. all over my face!" His voice rose an octave or two, trying to be angry but he couldn't. Being this close to Riku, he could see his face more clearly. The white planes of his face smooth and perfect, his aquamarine eyes shining with mischief, silver hair cascading down towards his own face. His heart lurched, thumping unevenly in his chest. Just great.
Riku was gonna give him a heart attack.
But the older teen was having just as hard of a time. He was keeping things simple. Trying to not let the thought that he was straddling Sora's waist get to his head for one. And trying to not do anything stupid that would hurt their friendship. So he eased his grip a tiny bit on Sora's wrists so he wasn't uncomfortable with Riku sitting on his... Okay. His thoughts stopped there. He was on a mission anyways. He smiled cheekily again this time, ignoring the glare Sora sent him.
"Sora," He used the same mock growl Sora had, "I'll get off you," que perverted thoughts from both boys, "If you answer my questions." The brunet lay there, obviously having no choice in the matter, and frowned.
"Fine. Question away, mon captain." Riku chuckled.
"All right, all right. Question one. You were really out of it today. And I mean morethan usual. What happened?" Riku waited patiently as he watched Sora thinking. It was cute. His face turned into a sort of pout that was too adorable. Riku smiled and Sora sighed.
"Kairi..." Riku started frowning. Sora furrowed his eyebrows again, looking away. "She didn't do anything all right.. I just kind of gave her.. a wake up call I guess." Riku was confused, and opened his mouth to ask about it but Sora beat him to it.
"I, more or less, turned her down." And Riku was stunned. The teen below him kept his face turned away. "It's not like I was trying to be mean or anything like that... I just..." Sora looked back up at Riku. "I just don't like her that way." Riku had a tough time trying not to let his mouth drop open.
"But.. But Sora, man, she's liked you forever!" Riku exclaimed, Sora grimaced. "Why don't you like her?" The brunet sighed again.
"I already like someone else." Sora closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing. He had to watch it, he couldn't spill and tell Riku, that was unacceptable. Opening his blue eyes his saw a flash of hurt across Riku's face that he wasn't meant to see. Internally he winced and really wished he didn't have to hurt Riku.
Riku was warring with himself inside. He was furious, and immensely saddened, yet happy at the same time. Sora didn't like Kairi, but he did like someone. Most likely it wasn't Riku, but hey, a guy was allowed to dream. Maybe... Well, he'd just have to ask more questions.
"Sooo..." Riku drawled, making his voice carefully blank, "You like someone else?" Sora nodded, lips forced in a tight line. "Can I guess?" Sora raised an eyebrow. "What? Don't think I'll get it right?" Riku sounded hurt, Sora laughed.
"Well, you probably wouldn't, but you can go ahead and try if you want." Sora smirked, a little smug at this. Riku released Sora's wrists that were still being pinned and put a hand thoughtfully under his chin, still sitting on Sora's waist. He was quiet for a couple moments, thinking carefully.
"Selphie?"
Sora blanched.
"Could you honestly see me liking that... that... monster dressed as a girl on a major sugar high?" Riku laughed.
"All right, maybe not then.. I have another question before I guess more."
"Fine," Sora answered, "Go ahead."
"Are you gay?" Sora almost laughed, but caught himself when he saw the very serious look Riku was giving him. He blushed and turned away.
"Yes," He whispered. Riku dawned another grin on his face.
"Awww! My little Sora's just come out of the closet!" Riku mock cooed, "How sweet of him!" Sora glared daggers at Riku, cursing his silver hair to hell. Riku just laughed harder. Sora was mad. How could Riku make fun of him like this? What gave him the god damned right to be so mean!?
"So is it Tidus you like then? Or Waka? Oh, the suspense is killing me!!" Riku asked dramatically, raising a hand to his forehead. "Oh tell me now!" Sora growled furiously, not sure if the suggestions Riku gave or the joking made him more furious. It pushed him to the edge.
"It's YOU, Riku!! It's always been YOU!! I. LOVE. YOU." He shouted, making each word distinct, Riku nearly fell off him in surprise. "Why would I love anyone else? How couldI love anyone else?! They have never been there for me like you have, they don't knowhow lonely you can really be..." The older teen just sat there, still on Sora's waist, shocked and stunned and everything. Sora's anger fizzled out as he realized with horror at what he had just done. He had, first off, yelled at Riku. Second off, he had yelled that he loved him. Not that it wasn't true, because it was. More than anything in the world.
This just wasn't how things were supposed to happen.
Sora choked back a sob, covering his face with his hands quickly, shame and sadness falling into him. More than anything he wanted to run away right now, but Riku's weight was holding him down. He couldn't keep his tears back. They flowed out of his eyes, his breathing ragged, and the sobs making his frame quiver. It took Riku a second to process that Sora was breaking down.
"No, no, no!" Riku cooed, crawling off of Sora's waist to his side, pulling him up into his arms against his chest. He held tight onto the brunet who gave no resistance to the act. Riku tangled his fingers through Sora's hair, whispering "I'm sorry" over and over again. He felt completely monstrous that he had made Sora cry. Someone so innocent and pure, hurting, crying because of himself.
Riku hugged Sora tighter, closer to him. He smelled in Sora's scent, a mix between the ocean and something sweet, like vanilla. Sora quivered, his tears relenting some, sniffling more prevalent as he settled down. The brunet realized he was close to Riku, very close. His head was tucked beneath Riku's chin, his muscular arms tight around his body like a vice. Sora also realized he was warm, and smelled amazingly good, even working up a sweat fighting earlier.
He sighed. This was what he wanted more than anything in the world. More than anything in all the worlds combined. He wanted to be with Riku. He wanted to be with Riku and love him and be happy. Sora laid there in Riku's arms, listening to the thudding noise of his heart. It was very calming, it was strong.
"Riku?" Sora asked in a small voice, a small part of him noticing Riku's heartbeat speed up, and another part of him smiling at that fact.
"Yes Sora?" Riku's chest vibrated with the force of his voice.
"Is it wrong.. for me to love you?" His voice broke. Twice.
"No." Riku squeezed Sora in his arms, lightly, for a second. "You couldn't imagine how long I've been waiting to hear you say that. I never gave the thought a second look that you could possibly love me. But I've always been there for you Sor, I didn't want to push you away, but I thought I could at least give you a better shot at being happy." Sora chuckled and Riku pulled back to get a better look at him. "What?"
"How in the world could you think that anywhere you aren't would be better for me?"
"I.." Riku chuckled too, "I wasn't banking on what you would do. You always react differently than I imagine you would." He pulled Sora closer, one arm tight around the brunets waist, the other cradling his face. Sora winced.
"Sora, what's wrong?" Worry was clear in Riku's voice. When Sora didn't answer, Riku growled. "Sora, tell me." He received a sigh.
"It's just that... Well, Kairi had kind of, sort of, uhm.. slapped me, when I told her that it was you I loved, and not her." Sora shook his head slightly. "I don't blame her at all, I deserved it." Sora looked up at Riku, his lips drawn back over his teeth, like a cat baring their fangs. "What?"
"She slappedyou!?" Riku hissed, his eyes narrowed marginally. Sora was confused.
"Yeah?"
He froze up a little when Riku leaned his face down towards his own. Even though he was barely able to make out the mark on Sora's face, Riku growled, a deep menacing sound this time.
"If she evertouches you again Sora," Riku pulled him closer, "I won't let her get away with it. Got it?" Sora nodded weakly against his chest. "If anyoneever touches you, ever tries to harm you," Riku grabbed Sora chin lightly, forcing their gazes to meet, "I willprotect you, I will make you safe. You are my lifenow, and I won't let anything hurt you again." He pressed his forehead to Sora's, eyes never breaking away. "I love you Sora."
Sora stretched his neck up a little, closing the distance slowly.
"I love you too. Forever." Riku smiled, and his eyes were dancing with joy.
"That's all I'm asking for."