What Not To Do
Summary: A story about what not to do.
Cast: Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the guys.
Rated: M, for more than suggestive themes.
'Speech'
'So', prompted Harry, 'what happened.'
Harry was referring to what Ron and Hermione did last night, all the guys were their, so he couldn't deny it. One minute, they were watching a football game the next, Hermione showed up with this sly smile on her face and pulled at Ron until he paid attention and followed her into the bedroom.
They all knew what happened (anyone could hear Ron, he is kinda loud) they just wanted to know how it happened and Harry, Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Ginny gathered around to hear what happened.
No one really knew why Ginny was there.
Needless to say, Ron was absolutely shameless with the details. Boys.
'Well…' he said, dragging it out, 'This is what happened.'
'It started out good you know; I thought it was going to be quick, right, a hand job at most.
'And so I'm lying down on the bed and she tells me, she wants to give me a b.j., and I knew she'd never done that before and that she might not do it right, but she (somehow) convinced me that this fanfiction explained to her how to do it right, because she had read a lot of it.'
'Apparently, it's like a place where people can write about sex, or whatever, I know weird, its like written porn, I guess.'
'Again, it had started out good, she started, well you know pumping and then she went for it, right.'
'And then she started…biting, and then I thought she was getting mad at me or something and I told her: you can stop doing that, its unnecessary, I think she was a bit embarrassed, but what am I supposed to do, she was gong to bite off my dick.'
Ginny blushed at this.
'Then, she pulled back and started licking, which, don't get me wrong felt good, but that's not what we're trying to do at the moment, so I said:just suck, we can do that later.'
'So she did and I finished, right, and she kept going. And after she finally stopped she came up to kiss me.'
'An open mouth kiss that I just came into.'
'Yuck!'
'Wow, said Neville, 'I would think with all the stuff Hermione knows, that she'd know how to do something as easy as that.'
'Well, Dean replied, 'you could always ask Seamus to teach, he's pretty good at it.'
Then, Seamus proceeded to choke him half-to-death.
'Well, whoever teaches her will definitely be better than a computer,' interjected Ginny.
And then Hermione walked into the room, she didn't look particularly happy.
Question: why is Ron so comfortable talking about his love-life.
Another Question: How does Neville know about that sort of thing.
I was watching a stand-up comedian on Comedy Central, he brung it up to me.
Please, critique my work by reviewing.