Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Spoilers: None.
This isn't my best work, but I'm fighting writer's block here.
A Connection of Blood
We had always had a unique relationship, an unspoken contract, a mutual agreement, or whatever you preferred to call it. He is my commanding officer, always has been; I am his subordinate. No one but we understand this. The reason I stay with him, after all this time . . . is complicated.
He needs me to protect him. I am the one to remind him that his weapon doesn't work in the rain. I have to look back, to watch for unsuspected attacks, because he has a tendency to forget those he leaves behind, the ones he may trample in his eagerness to reach his goal.
No one sees my reason for refusing to leave his side. It is true – without him holding me back, I would rise much more quickly in ranks. But I can't bring myself to leave him. We have seen too much together to forget.
I've stood beside him, watching impassively as human skin bubbled and burned under his alchemy. I've pushed him behind me as I fired shots I knew wouldn't miss the vital spot, the spot that would turn red a split second after I fired.
We've stood beside each other as we killed. That is our connection, the bond I cannot break.
"Hawkeye, why do you stay with him?" Edward Elric asks. His eyes clearly add "that bastard." I am silent for a moment.
"He needs me," I finally answer. "He needs someone to remind him of those he's left behind."
What I don't tell him is that I need him. I need someone to protect. I cannot leave him behind, no matter how much reason disagrees. I have an instinct that tells me to follow him.
My instinct was awoken by a bond of blood, an awareness that we were really the same. Both killers, both trapped in the military's stranglehold.Both longing to make things different.
That is our only connection, I tell myself sternly.
We can't allow ourselves to feel more than a comradely companionship. Not until things are changed. Our connection, until then, will be one of darkness.
I look forward to the day when we can be connected by more than death.