The spacing on this sucks major booty, But read anyway… Please…

I watched as the men entered. My heart raced, it felt as if it would soon fall out. The men (if can you call such evil people men) started to yell and scream. My father stood silent. I wanted him to beg to plead. To yell that he had a daughter and he couldn't leave her alone, but no. He stood silent. It broke my heart.
I heard a gun shot. The gaze tore from my father to a man with a pistol. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, even the ripping of my heart.
...FLASHBACK...
Erik bounced a crying young girl. He had tried everything, but the raven-haired babe refused to be quiet. He was being to feel like a bad father.
"Oh, come one, Jocelyn. You want me to sing? Hmm, yea." Erik started to sing to the girl, his daughter, a lullaby. The infant yawned sleepily, grasped her father's collar and fell asleep. Erik smiled and placed Jocelyn in her crib.

…END…

The bullet moved in slow motion. I knew it was moving much faster, too fast for my father to move out of the way, but could I jump in the way? I tried to move, but my body refused. I wanted to scream, to yell, to cry, but my body seemed to be stalled.
...FLASHBACK...
Jocelyn stared into the mirror. She had never seen her face before. She thought it was someone else. This couldn't be her. Her father had told her she was beautiful, an angel. She wasn't. She was ugly, a deformed monster.
Jocelyn ran over to her bed and started to sob and beat up her pillows. That's when Erik cam in.
"Jocelyn," Erik picked up the small child. Jocelyn grabbed the back of her father's shirt and cried into his ear.
"You told me I was beautiful, an angel. You lied. I'm ugly... I'm a monster." Erik's heart broke. He had tried to hide it from her. He knew he couldn't. Eventually she would need a mask, and see her face. It was inevitable.
"No," Erik breathed softly in her ear, "physical beauty does not matter. It's in your soul where true beauty lies." Jocelyn tightened her grip.
"No one will ever love me."
"I love you." Jocelyn continued to cry as Erik sang to her.
...END...

Things seemed to move at normal pace when the bullet entered my father head. He fell back onto his bed. I felt like my soul had died. Every fiber of my being seemed to be crying, expect for my eyes, and my mouth. Something told them to be silent.
The monsters walked up my father. They were laughing. LAUGHING! They pulled off my father's mask as if it was some sort of trophy. The leader kicked my father's corpse.
"Ugly, beast." I held back my tears for fear that they might find me.
...FLASHBACK...
Erik walked up to his daughter's sleeping silohette.
"Joce, Joce, wake up sleeping beauty," Erik said as a very tired Jocelyn peered through one eye to see her father.
"What?" She managed to yawn. Erik held out a mask. It was a half mask and a beautiful shade of blue.
"Thank you," Jocelyn said wrapping her arms around her father. She had been bugging him for a mask for a year. He knew that she was too petite to have one of his masks fit her, so he had to get her one.
"Go to sleep now, little one." She kissed Erik on his cheek and placed her mask on her face, and drifted off.
...END...

When the monsters left, I came out of my hiding space under the organ. I walked up to my father's corpse, hesitantly. I didn't want to see the details.
When I finally made it up to his bed. I fell to my knees, and finally left my tears fall. I looked at his expressionless face. My heart felt as if it was being torn apart.
My tears flowed everlastingly. They started burn as my face it became raw. I didn't want to speak. If they silence was broken... People would find me and bad things would happen...
...FLASHBACK...
Meg sat with Jocelyn on her lap, brushing her hair. Erik usually had Meg watch the child when he was not there.
"Joce, your mother gave you the most elegant hair." Jocelyn smiled at the comment. Meg and her Grandma Giry were the only people who commented her hair. Erik commented her voice.
Erik came in, and walked toward Jocelyn and Meg. He picked up Jocelyn who clung to her father as if clinging to life.
"I need talk to Auntie Meg, okay?"
"Kay," Erik placed Jocelyn down and she ran off. Jocelyn couldn't here them quite clearly, but she heard one thing.
"When I die take care of Jocelyn."
...END...
I knew whom I had to find...

I hadn't seen my Aunt Meg and Grandma Giry since I was five (when I first learned of my deformity). I knew that they lived in the opera house. I really didn't remember much; expect Meg had pale blonde hair.
When I find Grandma Giry, she would know what to do... with Daddy.
I had to find my way up to where they were.
...FLASHBACK...
Meg was carrying Jocelyn. Meg couldn't wait to have a daughter of her own, but right now she had Jocelyn.
Erik wanted her to watch the infant while he... did his job. Meg had wanted Jocelyn to see the ballerinas.
When the ballerinas saw Meg carrying Jocelyn, they immediately ran over to her. Meg quickly concealed Jocelyn's face with part of the baby blue blanket Jocelyn was being held in.
"She's adorable!"
"Gorgeous."
"Too cute."
...END...
I'm sure if I just jogged my memory I would find my way. I had been so young the last time I had come up here.

I had finally made my way to the ballet dormitories.
I saw a widow. It was midday, it was sunny, and bright, and... a beautiful day. It stung my heart.
I stopped looking out the widow, remembering that I had to find my aunt. I ran out of the dormitories and

-------------------------------SMACK--------------------------------

I ran into my aunt, literally.
"Oh, excuse m- Jocelyn?" Aunt Meg helped me off the floor. "Jocelyn, what are you doing up here?"
"Well, umm," I was hugged her tightly, "Daddy... died." She pushed me off, her ivory hands on my shoulders, she looked me in the eyes.
"What..."

"Daddy... he was... They killed him! Why, Auntie Meg, why? What did Daddy ever do to them?" Aunt Meg wrapped me in a tight hug.
"Your father has a very shady past. He wanted you to know nothing about that. I don't know much, in fact, I know close to nothing. I only knew your mother..." I lifted my face to look at her. I knew nothing about my mother, expect that her name was Janelle.
"Tell me about her..." I whispered to my aunt.
"Your mother..."
...RETURN OF THE FLASHBACK...
Janelle was new to Opera Populaire. She used to visit when she was a girl. She was amazed by the ballerinas and wanted to be one. She was finally getting her chance.
She was to train with a Madame Giry. Janelle walked through the doors where she was greeted by a blonde girl about her age.
"Hello, I'm Meg Giry, you must be Janelle de Marco?"
"How'd you know my name?"
"There's a list and you were the last one to arrive."
"Meg Giry? Are you the ballet teacher?"
"Oh, heavens, no. My mom is."
Janelle and Meg became fast friends. They were always together. Meg was happy ever since Christine married Raoul, she was consumed with being the perfect wife and even had a baby.
...END FOR NOW...
"Christine..." I breathed.
"Meg!" Grandma Giry called.
"Mama. Come now, Jocelyn..." My auntie led me out of the room.

"Meg, where have you been? Come now- Jocelyn?" Grandma Giry looked at her daughter with surprise.
"Mama, something bad happened to Erik..." Grandma Giry hugged me. She looked at Aunt Meg, then me. She saw my heartbroken eyes, my tear steaked face, my dirty clothes.
"Meg, darling, get Jocelyn some clean clothes, then come and talk to me," Grandma Giry kissed my forehead, and carefully wiped away a falling tear. "No more tears, Jocelyn."
When, Grandma Giry had left, Meg smiled at me. She lead me into the dressing closet.
"Now, where was I? Oh, yes..." she said as she handed me a clean dress.
...FLASHBACK...
Everyone was mystified (for lack of a better word) when Janelle had disappeared after a production of Titus Andronicus.
Janelle didn't reappear until the next day at noon. Her emotion was, for lack of a better term, on Cloud Nine.
"Janelle, what in the world has gotten into you?" Meg asked when Janelle was doing leaps and turns around the room. Janelle stopped abruptly and fell into Meg's lap.
"What has gotten into me? A man. A wonderful, beautiful, talented man." Janelle's fair skin blushed a bright crimson red.
"Thinking about him?" Janelle nodded like a shy child. "What's his name?"
"Erik."
...END FOR NOW...
"Good, I'm going to talk to my mama. When I get back you can talk a bath and get cleaned up," I nodded slightly. She gave one last hug before she walked out of the room. I sat on her bed and hugged my knees to my chest. Luckily, I was all out of tears.

"Jocelyn, hun, wake up..." Aunt Meg shook me gently. I woke up hoping what had happened had been some terrible dream, but it hadn't... "Jocelyn, do you want to take a bath?" I nodded.
She led me to where everyone bathed.
I walked back out to where Meg was sitting. She patted for me to sit down in front of her. She started to run a brush through my hair.
"Now your mother..." she continued. I sensed she knew that this story made me feel little better.
...FLASHBACK...
"Erik?" Meg repeated. Janelle nodded. She jumped off Meg's lap and began to twirl. She began to describe Erik in great detail.
When she was done describing Erik, Janelle sat on the hardwood floors and began to describe her evening with her masked suitor.
"I came back up here and I heard this heavenly singing voice..." Meg wasn't listening, she was deep in thought.
'Oh no, what if it happens all over again. They won't rebuild the opera house again, that's for sure. What'll happen to Janelle? To Erik? I'm surprised he is even trying to love again.'
"Janelle, did you have any childhood sweethearts?"
"I had a childhood pet named Sweetheart, but no. My father did not let me be friends with boys. Very strict."
Meg let out a big sigh of relief, as Janelle went on about Erik.
...END...
"It's time to sleep, Jocelyn. There's a cot for you right there." Aunt Meg pointed to a cot not far from her bed. I stood and walked over it. I lay on it just as she extinguished the only light source in the room.

It was the middle of the night and sleep would not have me...
I rolled and tossed and turned, until I heard someone say "Careful with the body. Be silent. He's daughter is nearby."
I crawled to the door that was left ajar. I stared out into the hall. They couldn't see me.
Four men were carrying my father's corpse and Grandma Giry was telling them to be careful.
When they had passed into another corridor, I sat back on the cot and cradled my head in my hands, bidding myself to stop crying.
"Oh, Jocelyn, please, stop. You're breaking my heart." Meg said, holding me in her arms.
"I'm sorry."
"Come now, you must be hungry." She stood and walked me away from the sleeping ballerinas.
"Now, your mom..." Aunt Meg continued on.
...FLASHBACK...
One month after Janelle's disappearing act, Meg started to notice something was wrong.
"Janelle, what's wrong with you?" Meg said one evening when everybody was at after party.
"You are my best friend, so I can tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"I'm going to be a mom!" Meg was stunned and so excited for her friend.
"Really?"
"Yes!" The two friends hugged.
"Wait," Meg said pushing away, "Have you told Erik?"
"Yes, he's very excited he's picking out baby names."
EIGHT MONTHS LATER
Meg, and Erik waited out in the corridor. Madame Giry and the midwife were with Janelle.
Erik was pacing. He had obviously lost his cool.
"I'm the father. I should be in there. Shouldn't I be in there?" Meg found this quite amusing.
"Erik," she giggled, "Everything's fine. Sit." Erik sat, but only for a moment, then he was pacing again.
...END FOR NOW...
Suddenly our room was filled with people. Meg stood and walked out. I followed behind her.

We left the crazed room and went back to the dormitories. Aunt Meg looked at me. She had that all knowing motherly look.
She opened her mouth to say something, but it quickly became a sigh.
"Meg, have you told her yet," Grandmas Giry said appearing from nowhere as she usually did.
"I was telling her about her mother. I thought she should know that before she knew..." Meg hung her head. I was baffled. What in the world were they talking about?
"You were telling Jocelyn about Janelle..."
"Yes, Mama." I was being to feel completely left out and utterly confused.
"Well, I'm sure Jocelyn wants you to finish." I sat on Meg's bed, and was followed by the Girys.
...FLASHBACK...
"Erik, if you keep pacing you'll fall right through the floor." Not paying any attention to Meg's mindless gibber, Erik thoughts were on Janelle and his future child.
'I hope she's okay. What if the baby... No, the baby will look like Janelle in everyway. Yes-' Erik's thoughts stopped at the sound of a shrill scream.
"What the fuck was that?" Erik demanded from Meg.
"Erik, calm down. They've got it under control. They are professionals." Meg pushed Erik's large frame down into a chair.
"I guess..." Meg sat next to him. They were sitting for another half hour, before the midwife came.
"Sir, she wants you." Erik stood and walked into the room. Janelle sat in the bed. Her face was tear streaked, and her body looked so fragile compared to what it used to be. Next to her bed was a pink bassinet.
"Erik," Janelle whispered out. She had a fragile smile on her face. Erik walked up to her bed and sat next to her.
"Is this her..." Janelle gave a weak nod as Erik picked up the child.
"She's... she's..." Erik was heart broken to see his daughter's deformed face.
"Absolutely beautiful." Erik smiled at his love's positive outlook.
"What's her name?" Erik said cradling his daughter closely.
"Jocelyn, after my mother."
"It's a beautiful name..." Erik placed the infant back in the bassinet. He grabbed Janelle's hand tightly in his own.
"How are you, love?"
"Dying..." Janelle looked into Erik's eyes. Her delicate hand touched Erik 's cheek. She was ice cold.
"Janelle..." Her hand traveled across his face to his mask. She slowly pulled it off. The mask fell on her bed. Erik diverted his eyes from her's.
"Beautiful," Janelle sighed her last words, "Erik, I love you."
Erik looked at her. Her face was peaceful.
...END...
My eyes were teary, but so was Meg's. Grandma Giry was staring at the ground.
"Jocelyn," I looked up at Grandma, "I know this hard been hard on you, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have to leave the opera house..."

"What?" My entire body felt weak.
"You have to leave... I'm sorry..." I had to leave... my home.
"Why? I don't understand..." She sat next to me.
"Your father... I don't know how to explain this. Your father did not want you to live here after he passed, sadly."
"I-I thought he wanted me to live you." What was happening? Why was everything crumbling around me?
"No," Meg finally spoke up, "He wanted you to live with someone else..." I finally stood ready to scream and yell, but all that came out was "Who?"
"Christine de Changy."
...FLASHBACK...
Erik placed his daughter on the ground and she waddled off to play with the organ.
"Meg, I just wanted you to know, I've decided who Joce will go to."
"And that would be?"
"When I die Christine will take care of Jocelyn."
...END...
"You will move in with the de Changys later today."

"I don't even know them! How can I be expected to leave my home this quickly... I don't know anything else... Grandma, please don't do this..." I was so sick of crying, but the tears were again sliding down my face.
"If I could I would keep you here, but that's where you're father wanted you to be. With the de Changys. Go pack your things..." Grandma Giry was crying, but those tears seemed so… false. I turned and walked out of the room calmly, letting the tears burn my cheeks.
...FLASHBACK...
The raven-haired girl shook her father.
"Daddy, Daddy, wake up!" Erik eyes opened. He knew that Jocelyn had been caught in a nightmare. He pickup the small child and she threw her arms around his neck letting her tears fall on the back of her father's neck.
"Shhh," he rocked her back and forth. He started to sing slowly. She calmed down and her tears slowly halted as she fell asleep.
...END...
I threw what little clothes I had into a thin blanket. I tied up the blanket. I looked at the room. So many memories...
I untied the blanket and grabbed my father's sheet music and the two masks the monsters didn't get. I retied the blanket and made my way back to the Girys, feeling a bit better with my father's belongings with me...

The carriage ride to the de Changys was filled with Meg trying to tell me about them.
"Well, they are rich. They have three children: twins girls and a boy. They are very sweet." I wasn't paying attention. I was too angry. I just stared at the carriage window knowing these people would completely reject me. They were upper class, I was... scum, to them.
What did my father see in these people? I had never met them. I vaguely remembered the name Christine from a story my father used to tell me, but this couldn't be her. I hated the de Changys already.
...FLASHBACK...
Jocelyn was sitting in her father's lap. He was telling her a story. Her favorite story. He didn't tell it to her much, partly because it brought back so many bad memories.
"There once a young girl named Christine."
...END...
Aunt Meg rambled on about the de Changys, their mansion, how nice they were, but to me they were the people I hated. The people who weren't my father.

Aunt Meg and I walked up to the door. The house(mansion) was huge... Bigger than is normal for a family of five, now six.
Meg knocked on the door. It seemed to ring in my ears. The door opened slowly. I wanted it to stay shut. No, meeting the de Changys would ruin everything...
The door opened and standing in the door way was a young man. He was... I pushed the thought from my mind as he hugged Meg and he also called her 'Aunt Meg.'
"Aunt Meg," he released his grip on the blonde and looked at me, "Is this Jocelyn?" Meg nodded as he lead us into the house.
"Raoul, darling," Meg said as she sat on the couch, "Where are your parents?"
Raoul looked at me (still standing) and said, "Sit. My parents, Meghan, and Elizabel are in town... getting stuff."
I looked around and saw something on the mantel, as Raoul and Meg went on.
...FLASHBACK...
"Daddy can you sing me a song..." Erik who was sitting at the organ started to play the notes to her lullaby.
"No, Daddy, something you haven't singed to me 'fore." Erik started to click keys. Jocelyn jumped off her bed and started to dance on the stones.
"Masquerade, Paper faces on parade..." Jocelyn danced and twirled.
...END...
"What's that?" I said pushing down the hood to my cloak.
"Why are you wearing a mask?" I picked up the box with a little monkey on it, disregarding Raoul's question.
"It's a music box." He said standing next to me.
"Play it," Meg said from her seat at the couch.
I winded it and it started to play. I sang along with it, remembering one of the many songs my father used to sing me.
"Masquerade, paper faces on parade..." I smiled gently.

Aunt Meg left after Mrs and Ms de Changy arrived. They seemed like nice people.
"Jocelyn, right. I'm Christine Daae de Changy. This is my husband Vicomte(sp?) Raoul de Changy." Mrs de Changy hugged me and while in the embrace she whispered in my ear 'You look just like your father...' It frightened me a bit, hearing that...
Mr de Changy gave me a handshake and a friendly smile. He seemed like a very nice guy. They introduced me to their daughters Meghan and Elizabel. They were very sweet. I was beginning to like the de Changys.
"Raoul Jr, be a doll, and take Jocelyn up to her room." He nodded and grabbed my lone bag, but I pulled it away from him, afraid it would open and the contents would be seen by all.
"I-I can take it up, RJ..." His head cocked at the sound of his new nick name and whispered 'RJ.'
The room I was given was, for lack of a better term, lavish... and it its-self was a mere guest room.
"Well, this is your room..." Raoul Jr said as I laid my bag down on the bed.
"Thank you, very much, but if you don't mind I'd like to be alone for a little while..." He nodded and left, shutting the door behind him.
Once shut I opened the blanket-bag-thing and let the contents breath. I didn't move anything, in fact I was frighten to touch them. Afraid that something, everything would go wrong. I looked down at my father's mask. I didn't cry. I was all out of tears...
...FLASHBACK...
Jocelyn was awaked by her father's light crying. She always knew when her father was sad, it was a sense.
"Daddy," the little raven said, "why are you crying? Do you miss Momma?" Erik gave a simple nod. "Then I will sing to you." Jocelyn sat herself in her father's lap and began to sing her lullaby.
...END...
My favorite thing in the world. Singing, but I didn't want anyone to here me. I didn't know how they would react... to my voice. The voice of a monster or the voice of an angel? I didn't want to know...

I had fallen asleep and kicked my stuff off the bed. I quickly picked up all my things hoping nothing was hurt...
Then I realized I had fallen asleep before dinner and I was now hungry... really hungry...
I creeped down the stairs and slowly to the kitchen... Where I was greeted by Mrs de Changy.
"Jocelyn," she said taking a sip of her red wine, "come sit. I see your father gave you his flaw..." I sat down next to her. I was startled by how simply she asked the question and how she didn't seem to give a shit.
She leaned her head back and sighed... It was a "God, why" sigh. She leaned her head up and looked at me.
"Hungry?" I gave a nod. She stood up and began to cook something. She placed it in front of me and ate ravenously.
"Wow, it seems like you haven't eaten in years." I shrugged, "I know what it is like. What you just went through, I mean. Losing your father, I had move from my home almost instantly. It was awful for me. He got sick and died. I don't know how your father died, but you'll open up in time. Put the dish in the sink when you are done, the house keep will get it tomorrow." She made her way up the stairs and vanished around the corner. I was stunned. She had lost her father, too.
I placed the plate in the sink and made my way up to the room in which I slept.
...FLASHBACK...
Raoul Jr's life had been full of problems. Lots of problems. He felt he was going to die alone, until he saw Jocelyn's masked face.
...END...

It was the beginning of my second month at the de Changys. My days were pretty routine. Get up, eat breakfast, get a ride with Mr de Changy to the Opera house, where I took singing lessons, come home with him, eat dinner, retire to my room, think of my father, go to sleep.
Tonight was different. I couldn't sleep. Damnable insomnia. I tossed and turned.
I sat up. I grabbed one of my father's masks. I traced the outline and began to sing. I sang the words to a song I had never heard before.
"You were once my one companion
You were all mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered," I continued until I came upon the words "Help me say goodbye."
I leaned my head against wall, feeling a bit sleepier.
"Wandering child so lost so helpless yearning for my guidance," The voice startled me. It was gruff and untrained, but it reminded me of someone.
"Angel or father? Friend or phantom? Who is it there staring?"
The door opened slowly and I saw the silhouette of Raoul Jr. He walked up to me slowly. He leaned close to my face.
"Have you forgotten your angel?" His mouth and mine met.
"Son…"

"Son..." He pulls his lips from mine, reluctantly. It was Mrs de Changy. Raoul looked at his mother. She had a look on her face like "You are in for a serious butt whooping." She tapped her foot and Raoul walked out of my room. Mrs de Changy slammed the door behind them.
When gone, I blushed a bright shade of crimson and a small joyful smile came to my face.
"God, I hope he marries me..." I whispered out.

The next morning, I came down the stairs. I twirled my way into the kitchen and sat at my normal seat in between Meghan and Elizabel. They were shouting about who was taller.
I looked around the kitchen, but Raoul wasn't there.
"Where's Raoul?" I could see steam hissing from Mrs de Changy's ears.
"Sleeping," Mr de Changy says while measuring his daughters (they were fighting he wanted to end it),"He has fits where he sleeps for long periods of time."
"Yup," say Elizabel, tippy toeing.
"He once 'lept for two days! Elizabel's cheating!" Meghan said.
"Maghan's taller." Meghan stuck her tongue out at her twin. "Shall we go, Jocelyn?" Mr de Changy said as Elizabel's face sriched up and she screamed "RECOUNT!"
"We'll try again, when I get back from work."
Mr de Changy and I left the house.

Mr de Changy and I arrived home at our normal time to find Mrs de Changy with an older gentleman.
"The attacks have become more violent… What should I do?"
"Up the dosage…"
"Is that safe?"
"Frankly," the older man said putting on his coat and hat, "Madame, I don't know…" Christine led him to the door.
"Thank you, for coming…" The man nodded and walked out. Mr de Changy led his wife to the kitchen where she began to sob in his arms.
I was perplexed. What was wrong with her? I felt it was not my place to ask. So I went upstairs to see if Raoul was awake.
He was sitting on his bed with a bandage wrapped around his wrist. He was humming the song we were singing last night.
I walked up to his bed and sat next to him.
"What happened to your wrist?" He smiled.
"Cut myself, accidentally." He put his arm around me. "Jocelyn, if you don't mind me asking, why do you where a mask…"
"I… I… my face…" He looked at me and wiped away a tear. He smiled.
"I'm sure you'll show me your face, someday, soon." I cuddled into his chest.

The next day I came down to the breakfast, Mr de Changy was the only one there.
"Where is everybody?"
"In town. Let's go." I followed him outside.
"Why do I feel as if everyone is hiding something from me?"
"Because we are…" I was stunned, what were they hiding?

The months that followed were full of scowls from the older de Changys, and love from their son. It hurt to know that he was hiding something from me, but I would wait until he told me, like he would wait to see my face.

One night, Mr de Changy and I came home as always, I had been living with them for six or seven months. Mrs de Changy and her daughters were out buying dresses and would probably be out all night. I decided to go to my room.

I saw someone on the bed it was Raoul. He has sitting on the edge holding something in his hands.

"Jocelyn, I have something to ask you?" He stood up and walked over to me.

I could see him clearly and what was in his hands. A blade... His wrist was bleeding.
"Raoul... What are you doing?" He dropped the blade onto the floor. I grabbed his wrist and put my hand down on it trying to stop the blood from flowing.
"I don't know..." He whispered placing his head on my shoulder and letting his tears fall onto me neck. I ripped a piece of his shirt and wrapped it around his wrist. "Thank you," he whispered silently. He grabbed my face and started to kiss me.

The next morning I woke up and saw Raoul...

…TWO WEEKS LATER…

I hated leaving him. Not knowing if he would continue his suicidal ways, even if I only left for a few hours. He was sleeping when I left and I hoped he wouldn't wake up until I got back.
Mr de Changy had to drop me off at the house, because he had to pick up his wife and daughters. I walked into the house lightly singing.
The house was dimly lit and Raoul was sitting on one of the sofas. He was once again holding something in his hands. I was really sick of finding him this way.
He smiled at me a genuine, joyful smile. He stood and walked over to me. He kissed me gently.
"You know, that thing I wanted to ask you a couple of weeks ago?" He said as he led me to sit. I nodded. "Well, I wanted to ask you today."
"Okay," I said almost like a question. I had an idea of what he was going to ask and I knew my answer.
He got down on one knee and I saw the saw rind box in his hand open.
"Marry me, Jocelyn?"
"I can't..."

He dropped the box with utter shock. "What..."
"I can't marry you... I'm sorry..."
"WHY!"
"Because," I said, slowly taking off my mask. He looked at my face. He got down on his knees and put his hand to my cheek.
"I don't care... I love you..." He said catching a falling tear. I turned my head so all he could see was my deformity. My ugliness.
"I want to marry you..." He said. I wished he would stop.
"I don't..." I didn't want to cry, but I was. Something was telling me to lie to him. I didn't deserve him.
He grabbed my wrist tightly. "I need you."
"Raoul, please, let go." I tried to pull my wrist from him, but he was too strong.

His nails dug into my skin. I was clawing at his arm screaming for him to let go. Tears were streaming down his face.
"I love you! MARRY ME! I want you to be my wife!"
"Please, Raoul, stop..." He hit me... hard. Being the lightweight that I am, that one hit caused me to pass out. In the moments before darkness took me, I saw Raoul's face go from blind rage to pure sorrow. And all I heard was "Jocelyn, Jocelyn, please forgive me..."

I woke up in a hospital bed. Elizabel and Meghan were asleep at my feet. I carefully removed myself from the bed as not to wake them. All I wanted to know was what the hell had happened.
I walked down the hall. I didn't know where I was going but I really didn't care. I continued to walk.
I came upon the mental health ward. I continued to walk.
I saw Mrs de Changy asleep in her husband's arm. He was in between sleep and awake, but he was sure as hell awake when I passed by him to look in the window of the room they were next to.
"Jocelyn," He said wanting to move but at the same time not wanting to wake up his wife.
I disregarded him calling me. I look in the window and saw Raoul. He looked as if he had just woken up. He through the ring box across the room. He looked up and saw me. He ran over to the door. His face took up the entire window. I couldn't hear him, but I could see him mouth "Jocelyn, Jocelyn. I love you!"

He started to scream when I started to walk away. It killed me to see him, to hear him screaming for me.
I sat next to his father.
Mr de Changy leaned next to me. "What are you doing here?"
"I woke up. I want to know what the hell happened." He sighed. The patted his wife's head.
"It started when he was born..."
...FLASHBACK...
Christine couldn't have been happier holding her son. She was so excited to have a child.
Everything was fine with little Raoul Jr until he was five. He would start crying for no apparent reason. The de Changys thought nothing of it. He was a child. Children would cry. Then he had fits were he would sleep and sleep. Once again nothing of it. He was a child, he was going to nap. It was when the nap lasted for eighteen hours and he still complained of being sleepy, when Christine began to worry.
Raoul told her not to worry, that everything was fine. He stopped believing that when Raoul was ten and he found him with a knife.
...END FOR NOW...
I got up and said I was going to check on Meghan and Elizabel, but I wasn't ready to hear that story just yet.
Because, despite what he did, I was still in love with him, and it hurt terribly.

I walked down the halls carefully. Why was this walk longer than the walk to get to him? Was it because I was walking to him and not away?
Why did I still love him? I wanted to hate him so bad. I wanted to hate him with every fiber of my being... but I didn't. I looked into those eyes and I still loved him. I saw the best of him. Not the suicidal part, and the maniac the hit me. No, I saw him when he smiled at me, when he was playing with Meghan and Elizabel.
God, I hated the way he made me love him.

I made it back to the twins to see Aunt Meg and Grandma Giry. Meg was got up off the bed leaving behind the sleeping girls. She wrapped her arms around me.
"This is horrible. Poor Christine. I can't believe he attacked you." I was shocked at what she said. I really hated her more. Leaving me here, and now... this. I didn't know what to do or say so I let her hug me.
Grandma Giry said nothing but gave me a hug.
I ended up falling back asleep on the hospital bed once again.

...Raoul Jr's Story...
After finding their son, their one and only, their child, with a knife, they decided to take him to a doctor.
"Well, it seems your son has a mental disease. It's not very common. It's called Bi-polar. It's a chemical imbalance. He'll be depressed, and sleep more than normal. He will also have suicidal tendencies." Christine was torn apart by this. Depressed... suicidal tendencies... no. It's was more then she could bear.
"Is their anything we can do or need to do?" Raoul said calmly. She wanted to scream at him. 'Quit being so damn calm! Our son could commit suicide and you don't even care.' She knew very well he cared, she just didn't want him to act so calm.
"Medication. It will help."

Christine wanted to die. While her son was sleeping, she needed to yell at her husband.
"Raoul..." she opened her mouth to scream and yell, but all that came out were sobs. "Raoul, this can't be happening. NO! It's not real..." Raoul put his arms around his wife.
"Shhh, Little Lotte, shh. Everything will be fine. Our son will be fine." Raoul held his love, but he was having his own doubts. How could this be happening to them?

After, hesitantly, putting their son on medication, he seemed to be normal, they even had more children, twin girls. Everything seemed good and perfect until one day, the brought in another child, a young girl about Raoul's age, named Jocelyn. He started to go into fights of rage whenever Jocelyn and Raoul Sr left to the Opera house. Raoul Jr would throw things and scream and cry. Christine couldn't figure out what was wrong, she had an idea, but that couldn't be it. Her son was not in love with the daughter of the man who tried to kill her husband, they kissed but that didn't mean he loved her. She called in Raoul's doctor for help. All he told her was to 'up his dosage.' Against her better judgement she did.

Things did not go back to normal, Raoul still threw fits. They weren't as violent, but he still threw fits. One night, when she came back, she found her son over Jocelyn's unconscious (SP?) body. He was crying and all he said was "Mom, I hurt her. How could I? I love her..."

Finally after years of people saying that Raoul had to go to a Mental Hospital, Christine finally sent him. It broke her up and threatened her life to see her son in that confined room...

What killed her more was to find out the Jocelyn was pregnant...
...END...

I stood up. You don't hear you're pregnant from someone else. You tell other people. I was shocked and stunned and Mrs de Changy looked about ready to pop a vessel.
"Have you told Raoul?" I said not moving from the chair across from the older de Changys. They nodded in unison.

I couldn't go to sleep that night. I was afraid Mrs de Changy would try to kill me. She was a scary woman when she wanted to be. I got to the opera house the next day, threw up, and fell asleep on Aunt Meg's bed. One thing about Aunt Meg, she loved me no matter what and could always lend a bed to sleep on, and that's why I loved her.

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