Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. (I only borrow them ;-) )
Spoilers: Book 1-5
Beta: MorganWolfe666

Chapter 1

Draco was sitting on his bed in the Slytherin dungeons. The advantage of being a 7th year was that he now had his own room. Before him was a letter that he had received from his father who had broken out of Azkaban in the summer. In the letter it was written that he was expected to receive the dark mark the following day, if he refused, he would be tortured until he complied. The problem was that he didn't know if that was what he really wanted.

No sleep
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer
Sometimes I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow I know that I am haunted to be wanted

He knew that it was now time to choose. He couldn't go to sleep before he had made a decision.

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

But what choice would he make? The last few years he had enough time to look how it went on both sides.

They say that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave
Sometimes I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

If he joined forces with Voldemort, they would expect him to kill innocent people. Of course, he still hated muggles and mudbloods and he thought that only pureblood wizards should be accepted at Hogwarts. But to kill them, that was another story. Besides, he had seen how Voldemort treated his Death Eaters, as slaves. That wasn't the kind of life he wanted. But did he really have a choice?

His father and Voldemort wouldn't be too happy when they heard that he didn't want the dark mark. They wouldn't give him the mark, if he didn't want it of his own free will, but they would torture him until he succumbed.

And if he didn't choose Voldemort's side, he automatically would choose Potter's side. He snorted. He still hated the big hero of the wizarding world and couldn't bear supporting him, intentionally or not. After very long debate with himself, he eventually fell asleep, no choice made.

The second week of the school year had only just finished, and all the 3rd years and upwards were already shopping in Hogsmeade.

Determinedly, Draco walked into an alley where his father, according to the letter, had left a portkey. He looked back to see if he wasn't being followed. When he was sure he wasn't, he quickly grabbed the Portkey, a boot. He felt the familiar pull on his navel and landed on soft mushy mud. When he looked up he saw that he was standing in a clear spot in a dark forest.

Not far from Draco sat Voldemort, on a seat that was practically a throne. Next to him were two men clothed in dark cloaks and wearing the white masks. Draco could only assume that one of those men was his father and the other man Pettigrew.

It wasn't until now that he realised that they weren't looking at him, but at something further away. Curiously Draco followed their gaze, but when he saw at what they were looking at, he wished he hadn't done come at all. His stomach lurched from what he saw.

There were two other death eaters, Draco guessed one was a woman from the sounds she was making. They seemed to be having a lot of fun. Before them lay a woman, writhing on the ground. Draco thought she was screaming as her mouth was open in a wide 'O' but there must have been a silencing spell on her, for she was making no sound.

A bit further lay two children who couldn't be older than 9, 10 years old. They where bound with invisible ropes and had tears pouring down their faces. Their expressions were ones of pure fright and pain.

Voldemort coughed, Draco tore his eyes away from the scene and stared at Voldemort.

"Young Malfoy, my you have grown. Your powers have grown considerably as well, I sense. When you came here today, you made the correct choice, and you will be rewarded for it. Raise your sleeves."

Draco gulped. When he came here it was with the intention of joining with Voldemort, but after what he had seen just now he knew it was the wrong choice. He didn't want the dark mark and he had to get away of here as soon as possible.

When he looked up again he saw that all eyes were up on him. They were waiting for him to pull up his sleeves.

"I don't want it", said Draco, nervously but strongly.

Voldemort didn't show any emotion but Draco thought he saw a flicker of annoyance in those crimson eyes.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" said Voldemort coolly.

Draco started to become frightened, but looked at Voldemort determinedly.

"I don't want to be one of your slaves."

Several Death Eaters looked strangely at Draco.

"Well, if you think about it that way", said Voldemort icily, while he raised his wand.

Draco looked from Voldemort to the wand and swallowed. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to change his choice in the last moment.

"Crucio!"

The pain Draco felt was unbearable. He couldn't stay on his feet and fell hard onto the ground. He never knew that his body could take so much pain. Voldemort stopped the spell. His head was pounding loudly and he wanted to lie still on the ground, he didn't think he could move anyway. Slowly he opened his eyes. He had trouble with seeing; white flashes were making his vision blurry. Next to him he heard someone impatiently tapping with his foot.

With much pain and trouble Draco turned his head and saw it was Voldemort's foot.

"Have you thought better and seen the mistake of your choice?" asked Voldemort while he kept his wand pointed at Draco.

Draco was thinking. He knew on that moment, that if he would refuse the mark, he would be tortured again and again until he accepted the mark. The question that was that was being tortured better than torturing other people. It would be so much easier to just change his choice and join Voldemort. He looked again up at Voldemort and at his Death Eaters, some who were only faithful for him because of their fright for Voldemort, others because they were just as twisted as him. That wasn't something that he wanted. Draco looked at Voldemort disdainfully.

"I will never be your slave!" said Draco and he spat on Voldemort's shiny black shoe.

Angrily, Voldemort trained his wand on Draco again and before he knew it, the immense pain of the Cruciatus curse was back. Draco screamed until he couldn't scream anymore. The pain was much worse than it had been earlier. He knew that if the curse wasn't lifted quickly, he would die here.

When the curse finally was lifted, Draco lied motionless on the floor. He just couldn't move, he couldn't breathe properly as it was. He heard footsteps walking closer, but he couldn't move his head to look up.

"Think good about what your choice will be, young Malfoy. My patience doesn't last for ever. Because your father is such a loyal servant, I will forgive you. Soon I will contact you again. Be sure you make the right choice next time."

Draco heard Voldemort moving away, stopping, and walking back towards him.

He felt a spatter of liquid on his cheek.

"Remember Draco, you can't mess with the Dark Lord," he hissed.

He heard several 'plop' noises which indicated the apparation of Voldemort and the Death Eaters. He was left alone. The next 20 minutes he kept lying motionless. He just hadn't enough power to come up.

With his left hand he pushed the salvia from his cheek. He swallowed and tasted the coppery taste of blood in his mouth. Slowly he tried to stand up. It quickly became dizzy before his eyes, but he managed to get up. Now all he had to do was to get back to Hogwarts.

He saw the booth of dragon-leahter, which had brought him here, lying on the floor several metres away. He hoped that he could also use it as a Portkey to go back to the alley in Hogsmeade. Slowly he walked towards the booth. Although it was only a few metres, he was out of breath when he finally reached it.

When he touched it he felt the familiar tug behind the navel and when he looked up he saw that he was in the same alley as where he had left. With much difficulty he walked towards Hogwarts. Only the thought that he could go back to his soft bed and sleep there kept him from lying on the ground. His muscles were protesting and Draco needed all his will power to just keep walking. While he walked past the 'Three Broomsticks' several classmates called him, but Draco remained walking. He was happy when he finally saw Hogwarts. In a few minutes he would finally be able to lie in his bed. He walked up the steps towards the big doors of the castle. When he was upstairs he was out of breath and everything for his eyes started to turn. He made two steps before he felt down on the ground.