Willing Warrior
You are the One
There's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well...
Reepicheep had been waiting for this moment for many years: the council at the Dancing Lawn, the Council of War, the knowing that Narnia would soon be free again. Although it had been his wish to storm the castle at once, Reepicheep agreed to journey to Aslan's How with the rest of the army. He could hardly believe that Aslan was blessing him with the wonderful opportunity of fighting for his country.
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away…
When the great room containing the Stone Table was empty of creatures, Reepicheep went in alone. He bowed before the sacred place where his lord had died so many ages ago—his lord who was the strength behind Reepicheep's nobility.
Ever since the Mouse had joined up with Caspian, life was bitter-sweet. Being teased and misjudged for his size odd customs was hard for Reepicheep. Whenever people passed him, they laughed. They didn't understand him. They didn't know what the Telmarines did to his family; they didn't know all the pressure of leadership and Mouse traditions that were on Reepicheep's shoulders. And whether their mocking was out of fun or hurtful intention, it drained away Reepicheep's gusto. As the Old Narnians marched along and raided the Telmarine camps, Reepicheep's every step felt forced.
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out…
Sitting by the campfire, long after his comrades had gone to sleep, Reepicheep tried to stifle his feelings of loneliness and stress. Peepiceek joined him. It was only with his closest friend, his brother, that Reepicheep could share his true feelings. "I don't know how I can keep going like this," he said. "Every slip-up was an impeachment to my honor, every laugh directed at me is a new challenge to answer. I have to act contented all the time, but I'm not. When I'm not focused on killing the Telmarines, all my energy is spent protecting myself from the other Narnians."
Peepiceek sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, brother. That's the problem that many Mice face. We have faith in you, and so does Aslan. Sometimes we just have to be willing to suffer through."
So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a Flower in the rain…
Through all the events of the next few days, the arrival of the Four Kings and Queens and the challenging of Miraz, Reepicheep contemplated on willingness. When he was refused the honor of taking the challenge to Miraz and of becoming a Marshal of the lists, he tried to be gracious despite the anger and hurt he felt. He was suddenly aware of how independent he was acting, trying to be perfect to protect his honor. He wondered what it would be like to be free of performance oriented behavior. What if it didn't matter what other people thought of him?
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the Pain
Like a Flower in the rain…
But then Peter allowed his sense of humor to come into the conversation. He explained that Miraz might be afraid of Mice, so it wasn't fair for Reep to be a Marshal. "On this matter we have but one mind," agreed the master Mouse. Just when he thought the discussion was over, Reepicheep noticed Peter's serious face break into a smile. Suddenly he knew that the High King had been sarcastic, had been careless of his feelings.
The evil wind
It blows a storm
To rock my world…
"If anyone here wishes to make me the subject of his wit," said Reepicheep angrily, "I am very much at his service—with my sword—whenever he has leisure." With that threatening remark, Reepicheep forgot the new, freeing ideas he had been contemplating. The protection of his honor, the only coping method he knew, was what kept the great Mouse alive. Without his secret pride, Reepicheep could not live; but at the same time, it was slowly killing him.
Later that day, the fight between Miraz and Peter had ended in treachery, and the armies were advancing. The battle had begun. Reepicheep and his men charged toward the fighting, when Peter shouted, "Reepicheep! Come back here, you little ass! You'll be killed!"
Just when I think I'm safe and warm…
This time the King was well-meaning, but he was also disrespecting Reepicheep's duty as a warrior. It was ridiculous to think that such a strong fighter would not join the battle! Of course Reep was going to fight for his country! As he attacked, the Mouse forgot his noble motives. Gone were the thoughts of freeing Narnia, gone were the thoughts of restoring love and peace—the only thing Reepicheep could think about was proving his honor to the world.
For a while things were going well, and Reepicheep ignored the blood that covered his body from countless wounds. But at last a soldier flung him to the ground and he began to lose consciousness. Just before the world went black, Reepicheep felt an agonizing rush of pain as his tail was cleaved from his body.
When he awoke, there was the kind face of Queen Lucy who had just cured him. And wonder of all wonders, Aslan was there. Big, golden, regal and real. Overcome with relief, Reepicheep swept a bow. That was when he noticed the absence of his tail.
I'm led astray, far too easily…
A wave of indescribable shame and horror swept over him. This was the worst thing that had ever happened to Reepicheep in his life. The symbol of his nobility was gone, and with it much of his balance and skill would be lost. Now all he had was humiliation and deep hurt. He heard several sneers and chuckles from the Narnians around him, who seemed to think that his loss was funny. The despair almost brought tears to his eyes.
"Perhaps her Majesty?" Reepicheep begged Lucy with all his heart.
Here Aslan interrupted, inquiring after the use of a tail. Reepicheep explained that it was the symbol of his honor. The Great Lion answered, "I sometimes wonder, friend, whether you do not think a bit too highly of your honor."
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong…
Until I know I can't go on…
That was the deep knowing that had bothered Reepicheep earlier: Aslan's voice, telling him to rethink his mentality. Perhaps it was possible to enjoy a warrior's life WITHOUT fearing rejection all the time.
But he Reepicheep did feel rejected. All at once, he opened his heart to Aslan. He told the reason behind his perfectionist behavior: the grief, the hurt, the utter despair of not being accepted. Just because he was different! So, in order to defend himself from the rejection, he based his whole life on outward dignity and strength.
Lord, you have searched me and know
When I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways…
Aslan just looked at Reepicheep for a few seconds. His infinitely tender eyes seemed to say, "You don't need to protect yourself from me. I will never, ever reject you. Let ME protect YOU. Please, please, let me in."
Then Reepicheep knew that everything would be alright. He let Aslan into his heart and was aware of a small change beginning already. It would be a gradual process, but Reepicheep knew he could have a good, adventurous life, never worrying about whether Aslan would accept him.
Even darkness will shine like the day
When you look into my heart…
Other Narnians might still make fun of him, but Reepicheep had a family he could count on. Besides Aslan, there was Peepicheek, and all the other Mice. In fact, Reepicheep felt so honored that he didn't even need his tail. The love of his family was enough; it would make loss worthwhile.
So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain…
Aslan was proud of the love shared between the Mice. "You shall have your tail again," he said.
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised…
Reepicheep smiled, and with new motives and vigor, he bowed to the ground. He thanked Aslan profusely for his new tail, new humility, and new honor. A few hours later he was knighted and proclaimed a war hero.
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain
Like a flower in the rain.
"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor." 1 Peter 5:6
THE END.