After death there is heaven and hell, but what about those who have done bad things but turn in remorse before death to try trick god into letting them in? Where do they go? They fall, fall from the sky and become encased in darkness; every so often, however, angels will fall, "Fallen angels" who have turned on god and are banished from the kingdom for eternity to live among the cursed; slowly becoming cursed themselves, if they live long enough to see their change.
See, most people wake up with a stretch and a cheesy grin to the sunshine. Birds singing, fluffy white clouds coming to your window to greet you with a smile. But not in this base. Here the area is littered with junk, blood new and old, it is always dark and dangerous even on the sunniest of moments. Here you stayed up most of the night with greying rings to the sound of moaning, bombs going up in blazes, shouting of abuse between members and the constant footsteps jittering past while screeching as they go to pick up the latest victim.
The stench of the decaying dead poising your lungs while toxic alcohol and broken ornaments attack you from every side without warning. You might call it a nightmare, perhaps I am just being over dramatic? Dramatic is a film with love spiralling into chaotic remorse, the death of a loved one that changes you and spurs something into the mix. For me? This is an everyday occurrence that I have to go through, even in my dreams I dread that one sound that would tell me my privacy was lost for another long, harsh day.
And on hearing that unsightly alarm scream 'wake-up, it's time for another fan-fucking-tastic day!' my dull purple eyes open to stare idly at the ceiling that was cracking at the seams, a lot like myself really. Groaning I pull the unsightly cover's down to get a look at the rest of my greying room while deciding whether I really had the energy, or not, to remove my deathly pale cheek from the crimson curls to switch off the alarm and go have breakfast with Them.
It wasn't all of them, actually most of them I could stand but two in particular couldn't help but make my life a living hell.
"wake up you fucking heathen bitch!" ah, 'sweet' words of the devil's son himself. Deciding I couldn't be bothered with Hidan storming my room again like before I slowly rolls my thin legs from the hard and cheap mattress that did nothing for my tense muscles. Changing into casual clothing I sigh staring into the mirror drearily, dark baggy jeans with a red-hole military belt around my waist that has a little spider keychain hanging from it sleeps loosely.
Snatching through my private clothes stash drawer my icy hands latch onto and slip over a black low cut shirt with three skulls on the front joined over each other, on one of the sleeves is a silver and white gothic cross which is ripped underneath it, the sleeve reaches down to almost touch my bony wrist; the other sleeve only covering the shoulder.
Clipping on my precious black and red Jashinist symbol necklace and the purple vile bracelet chain that has another one of the symbols; my hazy lilac orbs stare emotionlessly through the silence and darkness, I rarely put a single light on, tying a small black sash to the belt to stick out along the side.
I had learned this was one way I got away with the clothes, the Akatsuki symbol was on it and of course I had my cloak at the ready. Brushing the frazzled crimson hair straight my nimble hand snatches for the red make-up pencil so I could place two dot's upon my forehead. Black mascara and foundation hiding the scars, cuts and bruises from sight while putting on the over coat, twirling one of the blood curls in my index finger over my temple carelessly.
It really did piss me off when that white haired moron called me a heathen, I was a good follower like him and my sister even if they shoved it down your throat while I was quiet about it all. Jashin wasn't a product it was a religion in which my sister, of all people, used as a way of getting laid. Stepping out side into the bright lights the thick curtains drape wide open to let the beauty of the real world and bright lights in as my legs carry me towards a large table discussing excitedly about tomorrow.
This place looked more like a prison than a housing area, graffiti staining the walls and beer cans strewn everywhere, of course I'm not a Germaphobe but the smell always made my nose cringe.
"Tobi can't wait!" the frizzle yells clapping his hands excitedly while saddling another tinsel branch onto the cannibal plant's, Zetsu's, leaves who stares looking annoyed but defeated at the force of a make-over. Everyone agreeing and smiling merrily at this, well, almost everyone. Hidan and my sister Stella where against the festive spirit but rather than just ignore it they found joy in tormenting everyone as a 'gift', tending to plight that they should be allowed to conduct a Jashinist Christmas dinner prayer because it was a sin for them to say grace.
I never saw a point, not in them yelling - I got over that one after the first three days in the base, praying about food. It wasn't god that was cut up to feed us, the poor turkey or chicken was the one who got butchered so if anything we should be sacrificing the poultry to say thank you; well, unless we let Zetsu plan our festive feast! Even Kakuzu, A.K.A scrooge Mc Moneybags, and Itachi, the angst weasel, where in a brighter mood than usual about the event.
Deidara had allowed Tobi to tie tinsel around the hair band for once but didn't seem to mind anyway because he was too busy gulping down his breakfast loudly.
My head down low as I sunk into the wooden chair to eat delicately, Hidan as usual shovelling it in like a starving slob right next to me, stupidly jumping when he yells about something right against my ear. Closing myself off further from the group my transparent lilac eyes fade further while I eat another piece of food, if it weren't for the albino stealing from my plate then I would probably have been overlooked by the leader checking his rota as usual at the other end of the table.
Soon a normally late head of black comes skipping in to sit down on the other side of Hidan to flutter a few eyelashes but apparently the slob was to busy fingering his food to even pay her any of the slightest attention. My sister Stella and Hidan where drastically different from me, Hidan swears, yells abuse and fights with absolutely everyone. He plighted about our Lord Jashin all of the time and took sweet pleasure in bullying me with my 'sister', Stella on the other hand loved to yell in another manner.
The raven haired woman will always try to find a way to latch onto Hidan, even if it meant kissing his rear-end even though he was completely wrong about something.
Unlike me Stella loved fashion and makeup, sex and booze, always bouncing about in a hyper manner. Me on the other hand hated men to hell and back if not further, what I wore I couldn't care less about and I tended to stay very still. Everyone always telling me that I had a sheepish voice that was slow and tranquil, apparently my soothing aura could put anyone into a relaxed state of mind.
Tending not to speak unless spoken to my faith in Jashin is pure but not enough to shove it down everyone's throats, they got enough of it from Hidan and Stella every single day anyway. Unlike that albino rat my hygiene was at least proper but with moneybags being so up-tight water wasn't always easy to get, I tended to be a friendly person that spoke politely to everyone; more or less open minded really.
Murmuring softly to myself the pale fingertips graze ominously over my rosary beads while I pray to each bead around my neck in turn, sometimes even stabbing a fork in my hand in awe of my god then clearing the blood up to keep the area clean. Everyone was used to the way both Jashinist's treated me, but even after this it surprised them to how cruel they could actually be to one of their own followers.
Finally finishing my meal I get up to disappear, not before Hidan could throw snow at the back of my head of course. Wincing I glance at the sniggering bully before turning to leave after watching my sister lean into him, the glare creeping up his face at the unwanted contact.
"why do you have to be so mean to Vesta?" the raven haired woman enquires stroking his bare chest tenderly with a purr.
"because the fucker irritates me" he snaps with a glare, Pein rolling his eyes at this comment.
"the girl hardly speaks, let alone leave her room" the leader states drinking from his dreg of wine.
"exactly! The bitch just fucking stares at me, sits next to me, even fucking asks to bloody pray with me" what that had to do with what Pein had earlier stated made a few groan inwardly, what that 'exactly' had to do with her silent behaviour was beyond them.
"she's only trying to be nice to you" Kisame points out matter-of-factually as the albino scowls at the nodding dogs and then towards the woman still latched onto him with her bright olive skin hand rolling Jashinist symbols into his abs.
"she maybe quiet but you do hurt her feels when you act like that, un" Deidara complains watching the lackadaisical fire wandering aimlessly back into the dinning room.
"has anyone seen my scythe?" I quietly enquire heading the way they point towards a cresant moon blade weapon with black straps and a torn effect up the shaft. "thank you" I reply picking it up from the wall to walk away again through the sickly yellow lights of the hallway.
"she looks fucking fine!" Hidan snaps again now stealing food from Stella's plate while her hand starts to run across his shoulder then linger back down, everyone trying not to watch the scene that made him look like a pimp.
"I bet you anything Hidan can't be nice to Vesta for even an hour" Kakuzu mutter's while everyone put their own bets in.
"why the fuck would I want to be nice to that bitch?" he enquires watching cautiously to Stella starting to move her hand somewhere else, the small fuse in his personality starting to cinder with every centimetre taken.
"because we'll give you anything if you can?" Itachi mumbles getting up to leave, the albino glaring suspiciously for a moment.
"bring it fuckers" he plights stomping off as the raven haired woman flops to the floor and curses his escape.
Meanwhile in the dark recesses of the base dungeon I had paused to stare at the stretcher, 'out of order' stuck to it making me mumble, the ends ripped and what looked like spit etched into the tanning parchment. Down here it was quiet and dull, the air thick with blood, alcohol and cigarettes, loud music hammering the chipping walls from above as I slowly counts the doors on my way along the winding hallways looking for a place no one will find me to be alone.
Thankful to find the door as my clattering keys slot neatly into the lock that seems unused and rusty, my lilac eyes shifting to a certain albino scowling about something and coming my way. To be honest I couldn't be bothered with him at the moment as I stand slowly prodding at the key hole aimlessly, deciding not to cause any problems when he start glaring right at the sight of me and moving faster.
Clearly hearing a curse hiss it's way through his lips when my reflexes shut and bolt the large metal door quickly to look about the empty room, I had designed it myself, an alter in the middle and a permanent ritual symbol on the floor and walls, above on the ceiling is another one creating a kind of box.
My room was sound proof and escape or entering resistant which was just perfect for me because it meant I had solitude here, pulling away at the clothes I change into a towel like robe that is white in colour before slowly standing at the door. Hand's reached up then placed into a Jutsu as the symbols glow, sticky gunk creating a bridge towards the symbols as I walk along it to kneel in the centre and in front of the alter.
Alone in the solitude my hands are stabbed through with kunai sending the shuddering pain through my body that turns to exotic pleasure. Slicing about the blood comes spilling out across the floor while I slowly go into a world of my own, one where only I and Jashin exist together to speak and absorb the relaxing atmosphere. Taking the spear to my throat I stab it through brutally clogging up my windpipe and suffocating my lungs with heavy and hot crimson blood.
Sometimes it felt that if I glanced about, even though I know there was no one there, someone would come out from the dark and give me a cuddle, a kiss hello. Then comfortably sit and chat to me but of course I was alone, I always have been and always will be from now until the end of eternity, in a totally different world I will never be apart of.
Hearing a heavy slam at the metal door my eyes open lightly while my head turns to look at the spinning steel, weapons stabbed through my white towel gown while I lay in my own blood that had gone cold and sticky apart from the leaking fluid that layered up and over it to refresh the sheen. Twitching a hand my body slowly sits up before my shuddering hands grip my necklace, eyes shut again to pray silently with the cool metal to my lips.
As of now I couldn't tell my blood from my crimson hair, falling asleep into this I awoke later to another bang but this time it wasn't just creaking of old steel as the banging becomes more frantic. Drearily getting up with the weapons still stabbed through every part of my body I open the stinging metal to stare at Hidan, his mouth wide to yell something at my sister standing to the right of him. The lilac shimmering like a star in my eyes as both stare at the clotted up blood that caked every inch of me, glancing between then expectantly they seem to finally get on with it.
"are you done already? We have a fucking bet to get on with" he scowls watching me sigh and shut the door right on his face, mopping away the staining blood and stacking the weapon upon the wall my pale hand grabs a bag with my clean clothes inside. Hidan still standing with Stella outside as he tries to keep my sister off of him, locking my ritual room I had expected them to say something but they only watch which adds to my paranoid suspicion. "bitch, we have to be fucking nice to you for a day. What do you enjoy?" he glares with a disdain of hatred at those chosen words, my mind flooding with something as I turn to stare at them both from the corner of my eye while walking.
"leave me alone and I'll be happy" I mumble disappearing up the stone steps in bare feet towards the bathhouse, both stopping while I walk in and lock the door. To my surprise they had actually done what I wanted and hadn't come near me or spoke to me the entire day, not even a snowball in my bed or a scythe stabbed through my heart. Laying in my room that was floored with cheap brown carpet I turn to look at the single white wall I never painted but instead coloured with a ritual symbol just for show, a table with candle roses upon it.
This was a medium sized bedroom with a moderately sized double bed and drawers, all of my personal stuff scattered neatly around the room that was vacant but homely all in all. Opening the window my head sticks out for the fresh-air before coming back in and pulling the drape curtains across so that only a small slice of light can get in, vacuuming up the carpet of any crumbs and putting new soap in the bathroom I sigh while pulling off the head piece that tied my hair back.
This silence was weird and without much thought my body had started moving towards the door and out to sit down at the table-top counter in the kitchen to sips from a cup of coffee before sticking my tongue out, everything tasted horrible in this place. Looking at the packet my lips form a pout at the cheap products Kakuzu would force us to use, even the toilet paper was cheap and tacky.
Putting it down to having to be 'secret' I sigh again before putting the T.V. on to watch the news, this life style was gloomy and boring but with a thoughtful smile I thank Jashin that for once he listened to my prayers and gave me one satisfying day of no Hidan, no Stella.
Tomorrow I would have to go back to being bullied and stalked by the masochistic albino who never left me alone, not even for a second in the base. Apparently the two Jashinist's had gone out and weren't back until it was mid afternoon, another sigh parting my lips when I see the idiot's fist fighting in the background and yelling at one another as they see the clear signs of a jittery and nervous wreck coming close by. I can't help flinching from yelling or violent acts, even if they weren't even directed at me in particular. My eyes watching both bum-buddies coming to stand near me again, even though they were not actually doing anything they seemed evil.
Settling further into the sofa my red locks are lifted up as I turn to look at Tobi messing with the ends by holding it up so the bottom becomes a wave, his finger nail parting them then flicking the hair from side to side.
"can you do this to Tobi's hair?" the swirl enquires as my lip curves slightly to peer at the short hair, humming gently my head shakes. "why not?" Tobi squeaks cuddling into my arm while locking the other in his hands.
"your hair is too short, Tobi-chan" the smile creeping up my lips as something in the atmosphere tinges a dark blue of jealousy, squinting my eye to turn around the emotion was gone, must have been Tobi?
"what if Tobi grew it?" he questions hugging a lot harder than usual making me tense.
"perhaps" as usual my voice purrs soothingly into the atmosphere before Tobi scuttles off somewhere else, glancing about the dark room again my pupils trail someone sitting next to me until it reaches the bare chest, oh Jashin.
Getting up to leave they snatch me back with a growl, glaring at me I sigh and lay back again, this was probably the most irritating part of the albino. The fact that he just sit's there watching my every move without speaking or moving, apart from his milky pale chest rising and falling every so often. He had done this so much that I can't tell if he likes me, hates me or just does this to irritate me or Stella.
It wasn't always like this though, in fact we were friends at one point, closer than you could be to your own heart, but that stopped when my sister came to take over the place. Foolishly Hidan had become attracted to her and they went out, I think they still are, it was while I walked along the hallway that I saw Stella getting unnaturally close to Itachi in his own room.
Sticking about the unthinkable happened, on both their parts, as they started kissing! The shock glued me to the ground just long enough to see more than that going on, remembering that stupid albino I had found myself running about looking for him. As usual sitting about waiting for my sister to appear only to become rather irritated when seeing me, probably not the one Jashinist he wanted to look at.
Shutting the door the words just came spilling out as his face started to drop then grow into a scowl, shoving me against the wall he had ran from the room to look for Stella. Who knew my sister could be so cunning? Well I knew but never thought she'd actually use it on me, a little later in my own room the Jashinist had come in with his scythe raised up. Staring with wide eyes I hadn't expected him to plunge it down on my own shoulder, my raven haired sister 'crying' about something while that weasel bastard had the courage to smile at the outplay while passing by.
Right up until this day I can still hear the yelling Hidan gave me for -lying-, telling me that if I never tried to jeopardise his one chance at a relationship again he would do worse. As if he could do worse. It's probably why my personality and confidence spilled out with my blood that day, probably why I can't do anything without a frail voice and weak smile.
Why Hidan calls me a heathen? I'm not very sure but I know one thing, it's best I just let Stella do what she likes, the minute that idiot albino figures it out it'll be too late; I just have a feeling it will be anyway. Being as stubborn as a mule I probably made things worse by trying to prove that my sister was doing something behind his back which ended in my heart being gouged out, limbs strewn about the place and precious things being broken.
My other back up plan was a video tape, a very big T.V. and a pair of speakers, boom boxing Stella having 'fun' with Itachi. That ended with me in a corner in a heap, everyone else believed me so why the hell didn't Hidan?! The words 'it's obviously photo-shopped' doesn't actually work with a Video, I don't even know how to use the internet let alone edit something.
Eventually Pein and a few other's became worried for my own health and Kakuzu's money so decided to themselves to have a meeting privately with me, apparently they wanted me to just stop and let it happen because it wasn't worth it. Hidan is an idiot and even with all the proof in front of him he would never listen, Stella had him wrapped around her finger, even with a tightening heart I just accepted it and became part of the background crowd.
Choosing to ignore them completely but that seemed to make Stella and Itachi edgy and soon started to watch my every move, not leaving me alone for a second unless asleep because they find the sudden stop in my persistence suspicious.
Just thinking about it fuelled so much anger that I had been caught sometimes either emotionlessly crying or punching walls just to relieve it. It hurt but the best thing was to just show spite towards Hidan, any kind of hatred to keep him away from me so that when it all falls apart at least he wont have to see the sickening pride I have shine through like a sun while a radiant smirk captures my face, I would probably laugh at him too, tell him he is a fool. That sweet sound of comeback just made me tremble, with fear and with glee.
"Vesta, it's your turn to take look out at the cave" the shark nin states as I nod and get up to go keep an eye on everything, It was still the albino's turn to keep an eye on me.
"I thought I told you, leave me alone" my voice wasn't supposed to be so bitter but it stopped him in his tracks, just as long as it kept him away from me so I don't turn on him like some kind of animal and try do onto him what he did onto me.