What will happen when I don't tell. 

What will happen when I never speak again?

What will everybody think of me?

Will they hate me for it?

Will they understand?

Will they...

'Yo Kai!'

Will they help me?

Can I... trust them with it?

Can I trust him with it?

Stop this insane thinking Kai, now!

It's going to drive you crazy.

Of course you don't trust them, none of them.

'Kai, whassup?'

'Tyson, shut up.'

'Well I see you're just your normal self today, eh?' A dark blue haired boy, called Tyson asked then. 'So, let me.' I said, standing up and walking away from the way to much talkative guy. 'Hi Kai.' I heard another familiar voice saying to me and my heart stopped pounding. 'O, hi Ray.' I said, trying to keep my voice as cold as it always is. 'Where are ya going?'

'Nowhere.' I answered quickly, maybe to quick. 'Well, then let me go with you.'

'No thanks.' I said, avoiding Rays golden eyes. 'Well, it's whatever you want.' He said, suddenly turning a little sad.

Can it be?

Can he feel the same way?

No, don't fool yourself.

He'll never feel the same way.

Not for a guy like me.

Not ever for me.

I only nodded and walked away, turning my back to the raven haired boy. Then I walked away, out of the house of Tyson's grandpa. I walked to the back of the house and settled down next to Hillary, who's watching Max and Kenny discuss about Draziel.

'What is it Kai?' She asked me, just out of nowhere. 'Nothing.' I replied short. 'I don't believe that Kai.' Hillary said then, looking to me with a little worry in her eyes. 'Why would you think something's wrong then?'

'Cause your behavior is different. You're even acting colder to Ray then you ever did to Tyson.'

'Hn,' I said, avoiding the question that's hiding in her remark. 'Now don't just ignore my question. I want an answer Kai, why are you so cold when your facing Ray?'

Does she know?

No, of course not.

But maybe...

She knows about things

More then we ever want to admit.

I hope not so.

'Kai?' Her words made me look up out my thoughts. 'Uh yeah?' I asked surprised. Then Hillary laid her hand over one of mine, astonished I looked to her, not noticing Ray was watching us. 'You have to tell him.'

'Tell who? And tell what?'

'You know what I mean. Tell Ray. Otherwise you'll loose him and I'm sure that's not what you want.'

'How do you know?' I asked alarmed. Then she chuckled. 'Just the way you act when you see him is enough for me to tell how you feel.' I simply nodded and looked away. Then I saw Ray watching us and when he saw me watching to him he turned around and walked away, not listening to Tyson and Max's yells. 'What is he doing?' I asked, more to myself but Hillary answered sadly. 'I think he... thinks were together Kai.'

'What! I have to find him. He can't think that, not now I finally have the guts to tell him.'

'Then go after him.' Hillary said, pushing me towards the opening Ray disappeared just a couple of seconds earlier.

Does he really feel the same way?

Why did he run away?

Can I trust him?

C'mon Kai, snap back.

You've got to find him.

And tell him how you feel.

'Ray, wait! I need to talk to you.' I yelled after him when I saw him walking down the street. He stopped and turned around and I could see tears in his eyes. 'What?! You want to tell me that you and Hillary are together? Well you don't have to, I already know.'

'What? So Hillary was right...' I said but I stopped when I noticed Ray was already walking away from me. 'Ra-ay!'

'Yeah what?' He asked me rude when he turned around quick and adroit. 'You misunderstood the situation Ray. I'm not with Hillary, I wouldn't want to be with her.'

'O and why not?' He asked, still rude but with a little hope in his voice. 'Because I want to be with someone else.'

'Someone else?' He asked, his eyes lighten up and the only thing I could do was nod. 'Who?' I froze. Now was the time to tell him, but I couldn't.

I have to tell him.

But I can't.

Why am I afraid?

Why!

Cause he'll break my heart.

Cause I'm afraid to feel.

'Just someone, you don't know the person.' I said, and immediately I regret my answer. 'O...' It was the only thing he said. Then I felt my eyes turn wet and I turned round and started to walk away, my fear of showing feelings won it of me. 'Kai?' Ray asked but I only shook one's head.

What'll happen if I never speak again?

Will he hate me?

Will everybody forget me?

Maybe that's just better.

I don't want to be remembered.

I'll only hurt me.

The night had already fallen over the house as I sat in the window-sill. I had my knees pressed against my chest and I looked out the window to the dark stars, pinching Dranzer against my knees. I sighed heavily as I closed my eyes. 'Kai?' I heard the hyper voice of Max ask me, but I said nothing. 'What's wrong? You seem so cold, even more then you usually are.' He asked and I looked to him, seeing that Tyson, Kenny and Ray were standing behind him. When I wondered where Hillary was I saw her sitting on the couch looking worried to me. 'Kai?' I heard Tyson ask but still I didn't say a thing. 'Kai don't be such a fool, just say something!' Tyson yelled then but still I staid quite. 'Tyson, just let him. I think he needs some time alone.' Hillary said then. Appreciating I looked to her and she smiled back to me.

What can I do now?

I'm so confused.

Why can't I think clear?

Why do they care so much?

I think they won't forget me.

Well, maybe it's better this way.

After a couple of minutes everybody, except Hillary left the room. 'You didn't tell him?' She asked then. I nodded. 'Kai, why don't you talk?' Her soft voice asked, coming closer to me. I turned my head away from her and looked out the window again. 'Kai what on Earth you think you're doing? You can't stay quite your whole life.' Then I looked to her and something in her eyes made me snap. I sighed and nodded my head. 'Okay, you're right.' I said suddenly. 'What happened when you went after Ray?' She asked me. 'You were right, he thought the two of us were together. So I told him we were not, and it never could be cause I want to be with someone else. And then he asked who.' I finished then, waiting for Hillary what to say. 'And, did you tell him it was him, right?'

'No. I could tell him that I loved someone, but I couldn't tell Ray it was him. I'm just afraid of being in love, of showing emotions. I don't know why but I feel so... weak.' I said, and it may be the longest thing I had ever said this day. 'You're not weak when you show feelings. Think about that Kai.' I nodded and with that she walked out of the room, leaving me with someone I didn't knew was there.

Think of it?

But it's weak to show feelings.

But... is that so right?

Everybody always learned me.

Can I trust them?

I think I can't.

Slowly I opened one of my eyes as I felt a warmth washing over my body. I saw a big, dark shadow that bend over me and laid a big blanket over my chest and knees. Then I felt a soft and cold hand on my forehead, stroking the bangs out my face. And then I leaned in to the touch. I didn't care who it was, stroking my forehead, but I knew it made me feel comfortable and nice. 'Huh?' I heard the person say, and then I recognized the voice. It was... 'Ray,' and without wanting it I whispered his name. 'K-Kai, you're awake.' He said, while taking his hand away and stepping back. 'Ray, what were you just doing?' I asked, still half asleep. 'I... uhm.' He stuttered and I almost had to smile of his innocence and blushing cheeks, it looked so cute.

Can he feel the same?

I think he does.

I'm going to tell him.

I'm not afraid anymore.

I don't want to.

I don't want to.

'Well uhm...' Ray tried to continue. 'I saw you were asleep and I uhm... I thought you may be cold so...'

'I didn't mean that Ray. I meant after that.' After I said that the blush on Ray's cheeks turned even redder then it already was. 'You look cute when you have a blush on your cheeks, Ray.' I said, suddenly feeling my own cheeks turning a slight pink. 'I-I... you...' Ray stuttered, looking absolutely adorable.

And then I bend towards him. At first he looked rather surprised but then he bend to me too. Slowly I closed my eyes as our lips almost touched and...

Finally.

After all those times.

After all that thinking.

He returns my feelings.

Finally I feel happy.

Finally I know what love is.

'Ow, ey guys. I was looking for some food and I...' Fast the both of us backed away with flushed faces when we saw Tyson standing in the doorway. He was speechless, and damn he was rightly with that one. 'Uhm... did I interrupted something?' He asked breathlessly. 'Well, actually... you did.' Ray said then, surprising me even more then Tyson. 'O, then I uhm I'll see ya guys in the morning I guess.' He said, stumbling away and closing the door quietly. I smiled softly but I stopped when I felt Rays hand on my chin.

'So where were we?' He asked, eyes filled with love and lust. 'I don't know, I forgot.' I said with a playing grin on my face. 'You forgot? Then we'll have to start it over.' He said, bending in to me and finally our lips melted together. Then I felt something nibbling at my under lip and I slowly opened my mouth, giving Ray the entrance he needed. Fast and adroit his tongue slid into my mouth and then our tongues danced together, full with passion. Past that I finally knew what would happen, when I told him, or tried to.

Whoa, this took me pretty long, to say that! But at the end I'm sort of proud of this piece, but don't you dare to ask me why! But well, it's not my fav coupling (not even my fav anime, but that's just uhm... not a big deal) but it's still a sweet story, right? Please all be a darling and Review...