Because Dead Boys Don't Say No

by callmebaekkie

The reason why L's death had to happen the way it did. Why it couldn't be avoided. Why it stings and makes Light bleed on the inside. He regrets his decision. One-sided Light X L. Based on the comic on deviantART by Tenshi-no-hikari. I do not own Death Note! I never will, and I never have. I'm just a simple fan.

No one would ever understand.

I had my reasons for killing the deductive young detective known as L. I had my reasons for wanting to kill him. To annihilate him. To destroy him. To play with his life until the end.

Now, he would no longer be able to judge me with those calculating dark, chocolate brown eyes. I didn't have to watch as he smiled. I would no longer be able to witness that cute, peculiar way he has of sitting or holding a phone. I wouldn't be able to hear his voice anymore or be struck by the way he looked at me sometimes.

He won't ever be able to haunt my thoughts and invade my dreams by night.

Now he could disappear as nothing but a memory. Just an event of the past. A person who would no longer be able to exist in this world. Someone who could now be forgotten and dismissed as an old has-been. He no longer exists.

I saw to that.

I scan his still, silent and emotionless face with my light brown hues, noticing how quiet and peaceful he looked even though his life had been taken.

Taken away by me.

And I can only watch in sorrow as I ended his life for good. He now lies, still and silent on a cold stainless steel bench. His messy black hair is sprawled around his head, clearly framing his perfect face. How his white shirt seemed so deathly and clean. After all, white was the color of death.

I slowly reach out with trembling hand, allowing it to rest on his now deathly cold forehead, feeling his soft porcelain skin while the warmth of my living hand shares its warmth with L.

He won't ever be in my way again.

How dare he look so happy and at peace, as if he was simply asleep? How dare he look so cute, so graceful, so…irresistible even though his body no longer contained life. It was now just an empty shell. Un-inhabited. Alone. Desolate. Cold.

Why? Why did he always seem so impassive? So emotionless? No wonder he had never failed to annoy the hell out of me.

I wonder…does he know why his death was inevitable? How his death simply could not be avoided? Why I had to kill him by my own hand?

I look over his soft pale face and I gently caress my strong, warm hand over his cheek, watching his face as a wave of sadness and regret rose up inside me. I wish I could change time.

But it was too late to apologize to the beautiful sweet loving L.

"L…do you know why you had to die? Why I simply could not allow you to live?" I ask out loud, my deep, masculine voice piercing the deadly silent room as I lean down closer and capture his cold lips in mine.

Because dead boys don't say no.