Delia turned over in bed wide awake, realising she had woken up 2 hours before her alarm. On a normal day she would turn back over and sleep in, allowing her alarm to ring continuously until she rolled out of bed. Delia sat up in bed and smiled to herself, today was the day she'd arranged to meet Patsy at a local coffee shop for a catch-up.
It had been 11 months since they had both met up for a coffee. Delia herself had moved on and was 2 years into a new relationship, Patsy found this hard, they both did, although they secretly remained in contact just to reassure both parties were healthy and well. Patsy remained single, she had been on a few dates, with both men and woman, however nothing ever came of anything as she knew deep down Delia held the key to her heart. It pained Patsy to see Delia so happy in her new relationship, or so she thought.
Delia swung her legs over the side of the bed and sighed. What could she do to fill the extra hours before meeting Patsy? YouTube. YouTube was Delia's biggest weakness at university, many hours would she spend watching useless videos in the library instead of studying for her dissertation. Delia climbed out of her bed, and threw on her jeans and T-shirt that she had planned out the night before. Although Patsy and Delia were just friends, there was always an element in Delia that wanted to impress Patsy.
After getting dressed and brushing her teeth, Delia fell back onto her bed. She groaned into her pillows realising she still had 2 hours to go until she was meeting Patsy. Delia pulled out her phone and started to watch videos to pass the time.
1 hour passed, and Delia checked her emails to see if she had heard any news from Patsy this morning. Her heart sunk as her inbox was empty. She hoped Patsy was too busy getting ready for their meet up.
2 hours passed, and Delia's phone notified her of an email. Her heart started beating rapidly as she always loved receiving emails from Patsy. It read 'sorry for the short notice but I'm running late, can we meet at 11:30 instead of 10?'
For a split second Delia's heart skipped a beat, and her brain couldn't work out whether she was going to cry with anger or hurt. She had been so excited all morning, and panic took over thinking Patsy was going to call it all off.
Delia remained calm, pacing up and down her bedroom floor. In her head she was thinking of replying, but thought it would only make matters worse if she cancelled. Instead Delia didn't reply, and fell back into bed.
The next few hours dragged on for Delia, as she was feeling excited yet nervous about seeing Patsy after such a long time. She thought to herself, had Patsy changed? Was she still going to be the old her Delia once knew? Delia squashed her thoughts, it shouldn't have mattered to her anyway as she had moved on.
At 11 o clock, Delia gathered her things into her bag and left for the front door.
As Delia walked to the coffee shop, nerves took over and she was worried Patsy wouldn't turn up. As Delia opened the doors to the coffee shop, she could see Patsy sitting by herself with a coffee. After all that time Delia was the one who was late?
Delia rushed over to Patsy. "I'm so sorry that I'm the one now late." Delia said rather embarrassed.
"Oh don't worry Deels, I've literally just sat down." Patsy said while beaming a smile at Delia. Deels? Patsy had called her Deels after all this time? Delia's heart skipped a beat as she sat down opposite Patsy.
Patsy stood up abruptly, leaving Delia looking rather confused. "Leaving me already?" Delia questioned.
"Oh goodness no, I was standing up to order you a drink. Let me a guess, a milky tea?" Patsy asked. "And no sugars, because you claim you're already sweet enough am I correct?" Patsy said smiling.
Delia chuckled, "How on earth can you remember?" Delia teased.
"How could I forget?" Patsy laughed. "You'd tell everyone the same when they made you a tea." She trailed off.
"Very true." Delia smiled, feeling rather impressed Patsy remembered such a small detail about her.
A few minutes passed and Patsy returned back to the table where Delia was sat, and handed her over a steaming cup of tea.
"Thank you for that, you really didn't have to." Delia said reaching for the tea placed in front of her.
"No problem, if I remember correctly the last time we met Deels you brought me a drink, so it's only fair to return the gesture." Patsy said with a smile, pulling back her chair and sitting opposite Delia.
A few seconds passed, and Delia decided to break the silence.
"So Patsy, how are you?" Delia questioned feeling an awkward tension between them both.
"I'm okay thank you, I have good and bad days, but uni is keeping me focused." Patsy answered bringing her coffee to her lips.
"That's good I'm glad," Delia trailed off, waiting for a response, but Patsy never said anything, instead she looked down at her phone.
Immediately Delia felt awkward, she really wanted Patsy to ask how she was, and how she was coping. But Pasty remained silent and smiled at the texts she was receiving on her phone.
Delia felt as if she had multiple stab wounds to her heart and chest, it really hurt her when the conversation was just one sided. Delia couldn't work out her emotions running through her head, why wasn't Patsy paying any interest? They hadn't seen each other in almost a year? Did Patsy want to see her? After everything had all the feelings gone? Did Patsy really care?
That last thought of Delia's caught her in the back of the throat, Did Patsy didn't care? If she really cared, she would have asked how Delia was by now.
Unbeknown to Patsy, Delia was really struggling, her relationship with her current partner had come to a stop, and they were on a break. Delia previously called the relationship off 2 weeks previous to her and Patsy's meet up. As Delia felt it was better to tell Patsy in person about the break in the relationship. However Delia remained silent, with a beaming smile on her face, trying to hold back the tears, and put on a front that she was okay. She knew Patsy was never going to ask.
A few moments passed and Delia broke the silence again, asking Pasty a number of questions relating to her life.
The conversation didn't flow very well, as Patsy wouldn't give very in-depth answers, and neither did she reciprocate the conversation towards Delia. So again Delia sat there smiling, looking so happy to find out more about Patsy.
20 minutes passed of light conversation aimed towards Patsy, and Delia ran out of things to say. Awkwardly Delia arose from her chair and announced she was going to the toilet, Patsy nodded and pointed in the direction of the toilets.
Delia walked towards the door and stole a quick glance at Patsy who was behind her. Again her heart sunk as she realised Patsy returned to her phone, and wasn't paying any attention to where Delia had gone.
Delia reached the toilet, and quickly locked the door behind her. As she sat down she bit down onto her bottom lip and suppressed a scream, tears streaming down her face at the thought of how Patsy made her feel. She loved Patsy with every ounce in her body, but could tell the feeling wasn't mutual.
Delia had stopped her relationship with her new partner, because even after 2 years her feelings for Patsy were still too strong, and Delia knew it wasn't fair on her partner. It was better for Delia to put a stop to the relationship, before she fell too deep with someone she couldn't see a future with. Only Delia knew this of course, because Patsy had made no effort to ask after Delia.
Delia dug her hands into her legs and diverted the emotional pain into a physical one. This behaviour was becoming more repetitive within Delia's daily routine, as she was becoming so overwhelmed with how she felt.
Minutes passed and Delia smartened herself up and wiped her face. She thought to herself Patsy wouldn't even notice how long she was gone, or her tear stained face as she would probably be too engrossed on her phone.
As Delia walked back, she decided she was going to come out right and say to Patsy what had happened.
Delia sat opposite as Patsy looked up and gave a weary smile. Straight away panic too over Patsy's mind as she could she Delia's face was red and puffy, indicating she had been crying.
"Delia, what's up?" Patsy questioned, sitting up straight in her seat, leaning into the table.
Delia all of a sudden was lost for words, "I, err." Delia swallowed. "I broke off my relationship," she blurted out.
Patsy's heart leapt a mile, and she was surprised her body didn't jump too. Patsy extended a hand and rested it against Delia's own. "Deels, you never said?" Pasty whispered, stroking her thumb.
Delia snapped, pulling her hand away. "You never asked," her words harsh, stinging Patsy in the chest.
Patsy didn't know what to do, after all this time she wasn't the only one hurting. Delia was hurting too and how could she have been so selfish to have not seen this?
Patsy left her hand open on the table, "I'm so sorry Deels, I've been so selfish and not asked after you, I'm really sorry," Patsy whispered trying not to draw any attention to herself.
Delia remained silent. Patsy leant forward and took Delia's hand within her own. "Delia please tell me what's happened?" Patsy begged.
A small sound escaped Delia's lips, she shrugged whilst making eye contact with Patsy.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you," Delia whispered, feeling the embarrassment take over.
"And you don't think for a moment that's how I feel about you?" Patsy said with a small smile. "I think about you all the time, the evenings are the worst when I'm in bed," Patsy paused. "In the bed we've shared," Patsy whispered and squeezed Delia's hand.
Delia's eyes dropped and she was focusing on the table. She felt so guilty, she experienced so much pain thinking Patsy didn't care, when actually she did.
"I can't bring myself to ask after you and your new girlfriend, because," Patsy trailed off, "because I can't bare the thought that she makes you happier than I ever could." Patsy's heart sunk as she realised the truth.
"No one can ever make me as happy as you did Pats," Delia said quietly, "I loved you."
Patsy looked disheartened. "Loved me? So you don't anymore?" She said in a hurt tone.
"I've always loved you, I've never stopped loving you Pats, for heavens sake I wouldn't be sat here with you now," Delia took a deep breath. "I wouldn't be sat holding your hand, telling you everything if I didn't think we'd have a future again,"
Patsy looked up, "a future?" She squeezed Delia's hand, "I'd take you back in a heart beat, I was such a fool to let you go Deels. Ive regretted it for the last 2 years," she said with tears forming in her eyes. "It was the biggest mistake of my life."
Delia looked sad, "I was so hurt Pats, I gave up everything to be with you, and you broke up with me before I could prove it." She said looking down still.
Patsy sighed loudly, "I hate myself for putting you through that pain, I am really sorry." She said felling guilty. "I understand if you're too hurt to see past this."
"Patsy, I'm sat holding your hand trying to get past this, please can we see where things go?" Delia said looking rather mischievous, she couldn't quite believe how bold she'd just been.
"Oh Deels, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear that," Patsy sighed in relief this time, "Please let me take you out and prove to you I've changed."
"I would love nothing more." Delia laughed.
Both Patsy and Delia looked up at the same time and smiled into each other's eyes. Fingers interlocked and a gentle squeeze from both parties reassured each other. Finally they both thought, it had been a long 2 years, but were they ready to start again?
Thank you for reading! I haven't written in such a long time so apologies for any mistakes! Any comments, ideas or improvements will be much appreciated, I will consider them for future chapters!
p.s
Things will get more steamy for Patsy and Delia in upcoming chapters, so stay tuned!