A/N: So Thorin and Dis aren't related (other than being married) in this. Also, this work will have implied mpreg (it probably won't actually appear in the story though) and rape/non-con elements.
Chapter One
Kili's birth wasn't celebrated throughout the kingdom of Erebor, but it was still a happy occasion for the royal family. His mother was the sister of Queen Dis, so when Kili burst into the world, the king and queen were on hand to welcome the babe into the family. And so was their young son, Prince Fili.
It was the conspiring of the two mothers, truth be told, that gave the newborn his name.
"You know they cannot be betrothed until we know that Kili is a bearer," Thorin pointed out to his wife and her sister, even as he peered at the tiny bundle in his brother-in-law Karn's arms with a smile. It was not an uncommon occurrence for first cousins to marry in dwarven culture. Nor was it particularly rare for male dwarrows to be able to bear children (as their race had adapted throughout history for survival in the face of dwindling numbers of dwarrowdams).
"So they will end up being brothers," Dis dismissed his concerns with a shrug, tending to her exhausted younger sister. "I do not think it will come to that though."
"No, I am sure that it will not," her sister Ris agreed in a tired voice. Their husbands exchanged a meaningful look, well aware of the sisters' odd penchant for knowing certain things. "Now bring Kili to me, and fetch Fili so that he can properly meet his cousin."
Her husband gently lay the baby in her arms as Thorin led a small, golden-haired dwarfling into the room. "Fili," the king said softly. "Come meet your cousin."
The dwarfling hesitated only a moment before rushing to the bed where his aunt lay propped up with the baby. Curious blue eyes tried to see the baby as Fili craned his head to see. His mother chuckled at him before lifting him and placing him softly on the bed next to Ris.
Fili stared at wonder down at the small face peering up at him. "What's his name?" he asked in awe, transfixed by the baby.
His mother shared a knowingly smug look with his aunt. "His name is Kili, love."
"My Kili," Fili declared in a whisper, eyes never straying from Kili's.
Thorin sighed in resignation, knowing there was no way to fight the inevitable. Kili already held Fili's heart and soul so tightly that he knew his son would have no other. He prayed to Mahal that Kili was a bearer, as he knew the laws of their people would not allow him to approve a match between them otherwise. Unless he had another heir.
His eyes shifted to his lovely wife. She had had such a time birthing Fili. He was not sure if her body would beget another child.
He had to trust in Mahal's blessing to ensure the happiness of his son. He had blessed the line of Durin with good fortune since Durin I. Surely he would not abandon them now.
The visit that would change the course of Kili's life happened a few weeks later. As fortune, or misfortune, would have it, his mother was alone with him in their quarters when he came.
It was supposed to be an honor. After all, Saruman the White did not visit every first-time mother. The wizard, in fact, usually tended to stay away from those connected with royalty, which is why Dis did not receive a visit from him after Fili was born. Saruman, though, had a soft spot for the sisters, as he did with all the children he had given a gift to in the past.
Now ordinarily, receiving a gift from a wizard was a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, Saruman was a terrible gift-giver. The sisters were luckily in that they were both only gifted with a mild clairvoyance. Kili's fate was much, much worse.
Perhaps had the small babe not been wailing so loudly when the wizard appeared in their home, he would not have given the gift he had. Then again, perhaps not. It was not the first time Saruman had given this particularly gift, nor was it probably the last. Regardless, Ris could only look on in horror as the White Wizard stood over her baby's crib and tsked.
"Kili, son of Ris, I give thee the gift of obedience." The wizard smiled as the magic settled into the babe. "Now, stop crying." Instantly, Kili's wailing ceased and his tears dried in his eyes. "That is better."
"No!" Ris cried, running over and scooping the baby into her arms. "Take it back!" she pleaded.
"I do believe you will thank me later," Saruman said with a condescending smile. "First time mothers rarely know how difficult child-rearing can be. You will be lucky to have a perfectly obedient child."
Before she could argue further, the wizard disappeared, and she collapsed on the food, Kili still in her arms, and wept.
She would later tell Kili that she couldn't bear to tell his father about the curse Saruman had put on him, afraid that the dwarrow would blame her for bringing doom to her son. Kili certainly never blamed her for such a thing, and could not imagine that his father would have either.
It was better, she had told him, that no one know about the curse. It would only put Kili and whoever knew in danger. She had sworn him to absolute secrecy.
Well, ordered him into it, more like.
"Never tell anyone about the curse," she had said. An order that she knew he would have to obey.
Though his curse hung over him like a dark cloud, his first fifty or so years were happy enough. His mother kept him as close as she could, of course, so he didn't have many interactions with other dwarflings, but there was no keeping him from Fili.
Probably the best thing he liked about Fili was the fact that the young prince rarely ordered him around. He didn't know if Fili did it consciously or not, but he was grateful for it all the same. Maybe the older dwarrow could see how the commands of Balin, their tutor, and Dwalin, their weapons trainer, rankled Kili.
It wasn't like they knew the effects of the curse on Kili, of course. They didn't know how nauseous he became if he ignored an order, how dizzy he felt if he disregarded a command, how helpless he felt when his body was so wracked with pain that it reacted without his consent to every directive he was given.
Most of it was his own fault. He was the one who fought every order as much as he could, testing the curse's limits and seeing just how far he could get away with. The curse, he had learnt, did not care about the intent of the one giving the order, giving him some leeway in the interpretation of orders he received.
He also learned that if he were trying to do as he was told, the curse's effects wouldn't hurt him. He was very grateful for this when it came to his lessons and training because sometimes, like when Balin ordered him to do sums or Dwalin told him to pick up his sword when his arms felt like they were ready to fall off, he just couldn't do what was asked of him.
His world came crashing down on him, of course, when his mother died.
They had both been sick with a sweating sickness that had swept through the mountain that winter. Kili got better. Ris did not.
Kili was nearly inconsolable at the funeral. Not caring about the impropriety of it, he clung to Fili, burying his face in his cousin's shoulder to muffle his sobs when he couldn't keep them in.
Fili pulled him away from the mourning crowd as soon as he was able. He took his hand and led him back towards the royal quarters and into his own chambers.
"It will be alright," he soothed as Kili cried into his chest that night. "She would not want you to lose yourself in your grief."
Kili wanted so badly to tell him that he wasn't just mourning his mother. He was mourning his confidante, his protector, the only one who knew about the curse, the only one he could ever run to get a counter-order if someone had told him to do something terrible. He would miss his mother dearly, not just because of what she was to him, but for what it meant for his life.
He couldn't tell Fili, though. Because his mother had ordered him to tell no one.
He knew his life was going to change with his mother's death. He didn't, however, expect his father to make things infinitely worse for him.
In Karn's defense, he was acting in what he thought was Kili's best interests. He knew nothing could replace Ris in his heart, but he thought that Kili would adjust better with a mother-figure in his life.
So a few months after Kili's sixty-fourth birthday, he took Lady Olga as a wife.
Lady Olga was a widow herself, with a son of her own that had already reached his majority. She seemed nice enough, a little too formal and proper for Kili's taste, but he really couldn't fault her for that, especially when his father and Balin always tried to curb his own improprieties. A lost cause, Kili wanted to tell them stubbornly. His curse controlled him enough. He wasn't going to let something like societal expectations control him any further than he absolutely had to.
Kili only met Holgar, Lady Olga's son, at the wedding, but otherwise, he remained distant from his new family. Kili couldn't really blame the older dwarrow. He himself wasn't too sure about his new family himself.
He discussed his misgivings with Fili, who had simply shrugged. "Give them a chance," he said. "And if you don't like them, just move in with us."
Kili snorted at that. "I couldn't leave Father like that," he replied ruefully. "Besides, when you reach your majority next year, you will hardly have time for me."
"I will always have time for you," Fili said seriously, blue eyes boring into his.
Kili's stomach did a weird flip in his stomach at Fili's intensity. He knew he couldn't take the words to mean what he wanted them to. Even if Fili did mean them in that way, he knew nothing could ever come of it unless he could give Fili heirs, and he would not present as a bearer for a few years yet.
Still, it was nice to think about.
As Lady Olga settled into living in their quarters, Kili quickly found that he did not like her one bit. It wasn't the dwarrowdam's fault, of course. She just happened to be very imperative, which meant most of what she said towards Kili came out in the form of an order. He was certain that her own son would have just ignored most of them, and she probably assumed he would do the same.
The problem was, Kili was incapable of ignoring them.
What Kili did not notice, though, was how her sharp eyes followed him every time he followed every single order he was given.
The celebration of Fili's majority was coupled with his coronation as Crown Prince Under the Mountain. Kili's heart swelled with pride at seeing his golden cousin celebrated throughout the halls of Erebor. Thorin was radiating happiness as he set the shining mithril circlet on top his son's head, even if his face remained a stoic mask. Dis standing off to the side cared not about maintaining her regal mask and was beaming at her son and husband.
Kili felt removed from the celebration, though, as he watched from his stepmother's side. She had asked, well, ordered him to sit with her, as she did not know many people at the celebration. Kili, having little choice because of her phrasing, had acquiesced, even though he was dying to go to Fili.
Fili, who was being surrounded by dwarrows and dwarrowdams, all vying for his attention. Kili seethed with jealousy, knowing they all had their eyes on becoming the prince's consort.
When Fili's blue eyes locked with his, however, his worries were set at ease. Everything that needed to be said was said in that look. And although Fili could not show him any regard in public until he reached his majority or presented as a bearer, he knew Fili would not have another.
Unfortunately, his father was killed in an orc raid three years later, once again causing his world to crumble. Only this time, he realized how unsteady its foundation had always been.
Tbc…