Hey guys! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I'm warning you now that there are some quite mature themes in my story, such as suicide and self harm.
I'm not sure if I will continue writing this so let me know if you actually want me to. Your opinions and feedback are very much appreciated. Thanks and happy reading!
"We will kill you! We will get our revenge on you once and for all!" Regina was pinned against the door of her mansion with a large group of angry citizens before her, yelling while flinging tomatoes and eggs towards the lone woman. Regina had lost the energy to fight back so she just stood on her porch as the people of Storybrooke grew louder and more violent by the second.
Leroy had taken over the riot and was right in Regina's face, yelling at her and pushing her against the door. Just as Leroy's hands clasped around Regina's small neck, a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Get your hands away from Mayor Mills, Leroy, or so help me I will personally see to it that you are thrown over the town line. Got it?"
Regina let out a long breath that she hadn't realised she was holding, at the sound of the sheriff's voice cutting through the yells. Relief washed over her and her muscles relaxed a little.
Emma slowly pushed her way through the crowd and made it up to the porch where Leroy had released Regina but was still glaring at her with malice.
Emma grabbed his shoulder and yanked it back while yelling, "Hey! I'm talking to you! You will back off before I escort you to the town line, Leroy, and if you think for one second that I am messing around then you are sorely mistaken!"
Leroy's glare transferred to Emma but the look he got in return proved that her intentions were true. He backed down the stairs joining the mob who had now hushed. Emma continued her speech, "And that goes for all of you. I'm putting a new law into place. If I find any of you attempting to hurt Regina again I will banish you across the town line. Am I clear?!"
Disappointed grunts and whines filled the air but stopped immediately when Emma raised an eyebrow.
The group gave up and began walking away. As Emma turned to face Regina, who hadn't moved from her position, a stray tomato crashed into the mayor's temple. Emma snapped her head around and shot an intense glare at the group who scurried off in a hurry.
Emma turned to face Regina once more while opening a brown paper bag. She pulled out a napkin and made her way over to the brunette who was looking down at her shoes. Emma took in the sight before her. The 'Evil Queen' didn't look evil at all. All she saw was a woman with a bad past in need of a second chance.
The Mayor raised her head to look at Emma, who had moved closer than arms distance. "Here." Emma said, as she raised the napkin in her hand to the side of Regina's face. Regina tried to step back in protest but Emma grabbed the Mayor's shoulder with her free hand. "Just let me help you. Please?" Regina shuddered under the sheriff's touch. She opened her mouth to argue but saw no point. She sighed in defeat and let Emma wipe away the squashed tomato.
Regina had to suppress the giggle that arose in her throat as she watched Emma's tongue slip out of her mouth and her face scrunch up in concentration. Regina examined Emma's face from her pink lips to her defined jaw line. She had never seen the sheriff so close before. But she had always known how beautiful she was. While the Mayor was lost in her thoughts of the blondes' beauty, Emma had finished wiping away the tomato juice from Regina's face and had turned around and was heading to the top of the stairs. She sat down on the top step placing her paper bag on her lap while motioning for Regina to join her. The Mayor mentally scolded herself for thinking of Emma in that fashion and joined the other woman on the stairs.
"That's the third one this week Regina." Emma snuck a look over to the brunette sitting next to her but quickly looked away as Regina started to speak, "I know. I don't know...wait. How did you know to come? I assume no one in that beastly crowd called you over and I certainly didn't." Regina looked over to Emma who had picked up her paper bag and was waving it in the air in front of Regina's nose.
"It's my lunch break. I was planning on going for a nice walk out to the park so I could enjoy my toasted sandwich away from the chaos that the town has become. That was when I heard a commotion so I came to check it out." Emma sighed and put her chin in her hands with her elbows balancing on her thighs.
"Thank you, Miss Swan. I am glad to have the authorities on my side right now." Emma looked at Regina and smiled a tired smile. It was only then, at that angle, that Regina noticed just how worn out the sheriff looked. The deep blue smudges under her eyes were prominent against her pale skin and the usual glint of mischief had vanished from her green eyes. "What are you looking at?" Emma started rubbing her cheeks. "Is there something on my face? Regina! Get it off!" The brunette didn't realise she had been staring that long. "No Miss Swan. There is nothing on your face except the obvious tiredness. You look exhausted. Maybe you should have tomorrow off?" Emma raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "Ever since this curse business broke out I have had no time to rest. Everyone has gone absolutely mental. There is an angry mob constantly trying to seek you out and hurt you. But really I am fine. Why do you care what I do? Before I broke the curse you hated me. And now you're expressing concern about how much sleep I get? Careful Madame-Mayor-Evil-Queen-Regina, it almost looks like you care about me."
As tired as she was, Emma would not let up an opportunity to mock the older woman. Regina shot a disgusted look at Emma but lessened the intensity when she saw the goofy smile on the Sheriff's face. "Your death stares don't scare me, your highness," she said as she stood up in front of the older woman and jokingly bowed. Emma extended her arms towards the still seated woman, offering a helping hand. Regina resisted the underlying urge to grab onto the sheriff's hands and said, "I'm fine Miss Swan."
Once both women were standing an awkward silence broke out. "Well...Sheriff Swan you had better go back to your job and let me get back to mine." Regina had opened the door to her mansion and was about to step inside when Emma spoke, "Regina wait! I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't be staying here." The mayor turned and glared at the blonde.
"What? I shouldn't stay in my own house?" Emma's gaze fell to the floor, "I just...as sheriff of this town I don't think it is safe for you to be here alone. The angry mobs target you and your home. It's dangerous."
"Well, Sheriff, I think your message was pretty clear today so I'm sure they won't bother me again. I am offended that you don't think I can protect myself against a few idiots. And besides, no one in town would rent me a place to stay."
"Regina I mean that you could come and live with me." The Mayor's eyebrows furrowed at that comment and before she could say anything the blonde quickly corrected herself, "I mean with me and the others of course. Like Mary Margaret and David. Henry too?"
"Miss Swan I think you are forgetting that your mother and father are two of the people who hate me the most. I destroyed their home and took you away from them. You would be very dim witted to believe that they would let me into their home with open arms." The harsh tone in Regina's voice visibly hurt Emma. The Mayor took a step forward with regret and said "Emma I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I just don't know that it would work."
Emma held back a smile. She loved it when the mayor used her first name.
"Ms Mills, as sheriff of this town I order you to come and live in Mary Margaret's house. There is a spare room for you next to my room and Henry will also be there. You can see him every day in a safe environment."
The mayor raised her eyebrows as if to question Emma's authority. Emma was quick to add, "and I know that everyone else is scared of you but I'm not so get your crap together and come over at 7pm. That's that. Okay?"
Regina sighed in defeat, "On one condition. You must take the day off tomorrow to get some sleep. Do we have an agreement Miss Swan?"
"It seems we do."
Later that day
Regina stood right outside Mary Margaret's door. She lifted a shaky hand up to the door handle but pulled away. This was a bad idea. She knew it was. She backed away, picking up her bags. She quickly walked back down the hall, turned the corner and smashed straight into someone.
"Mum!"
Regina gathered herself and looked down to see Henry's excited face staring back. "Mum where are you going? I thought you were staying with us from now on!"
"She is."
Regina looked beyond Henry to see blonde curls bouncing about as Emma ran up the stairs. She kneeled down next to Henry and said, "Hey kid, how about you grab your Mum's bags and take them to the spare room? I'll let you have ice cream for dessert?" Henry beamed at his mother and she returned the smile.
As soon as he had left Emma's face dropped and she stared at the wall deep in thought. She sighed as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair. "What's wrong?" The brunette's words caused Emma to snap out of her daze. "Huh? Oh nothing. Long day I guess. Are you ready to do this?"
"I don't think it's right Miss Swan. Your parents hate me." Emma took a few steps closer to Regina and said "And you hate me but we seem to have come to some kind of compromise. So maybe they can too?" With that Emma walked past the mayor and towards the door to Mary Margaret's flat. "I don't hate you Emma." The blonde threw a look over her shoulder, "I can't hear you Regina! Come over her! Let's get this over with."
Regina made her way over to Emma, who had opened the door. The younger woman walked in first and was greeted by David, "Emma! Sweetie how are you? How was your..." His face went solemn at the sight of Regina. Mary Margaret walked into the room and her eyes widened when she saw the brunette that had entered her house. "What the hell is she doing here?! Get her out of my house right this instant!"
Emma rolled her eyes and looked blankly from David to Mary Margaret.
"Mum, Dad, she will be staying with us for a while. Until all these riots stop she needs to be somewhere safe and I believe that is right here with us."
Mary Margaret opened her mouth to protest but Emma raised a hand in annoyance and continued, "I really don't care what you have to say about the matter. The fact is that she is staying here with us and that's final." Regina's eyebrows rose. She was impressed with Emma's show of authority and was also surprised to see Charmings back down. They obviously weren't happy but they weren't willing to fight Emma about it just yet.
After the initial fuss, things seemed to run smoothly. Mary Margaret and David were cooking dinner, Henry was in his room reading and Emma had shown Regina her new room. "If you need anything at all just give me a yell." Emma smiled at Regina and exited the room.
Later that night
Dinner went as good as expected. The silence was extremely obvious. No one spoke for the whole duration and Emma had barely touched her food when she stood and took her plate over to the sink. She noticed that Regina had finished her pasta so she walked back over to the table and collected her plate and took it to the kitchen. Regina felt extremely uncomfortable at the table without Emma present so she too stood and made her way to the kitchen.
Regina noticed Emma's plate still full of food, "Miss Swan, you have barely made a dent in your dinner." With a shrug of her shoulders, Emma dumped the remains of her dinner into the bin and placed her plate in the sink. The mayor frowned at Emma who gave her a sad smile in return and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. Regina was quick to follow her. She didn't want to be left alone with the Charmings.
She silently made her way up past Emma's room and into her own. She slumped down onto the soft double bed and sighed. Closing her eyes, Regina listened. She could hear the muffled voices downstairs of Henry talking to the Charmings, the low buzz of the heater in the corner of her room and also she could hear Emma humming to herself in the room next to her. The brunette couldn't help the smile that made its way onto her red lips. It sounded so peaceful and it felt so homely that Regina felt fully relaxed for the first time in years.
She was abruptly pulled from her thoughts as a loud thud came from Emma's room, followed by a, "Shit!" Regina found herself running into the blondes' room fearful that they were under attack by a mob of angry towns people. But all she found was Emma sprawled out, face down, on the hard wooden floor. Emma turned her head slightly to see the mayor in the doorway. "Sorry to startle you Regina, I just wasn't looking where I was going. I slipped." She sheepishly grinned at Regina who had made her way over to help the blonde up. "Miss Swan, would you be so kind as to stop fooling around and..." As she bent over to help the blonde up, she noticed Emma's shirt had slid up revealing her lower back. Regina froze when she saw the faded white lines all over the pale skin.
Emma had managed to sit up now. Regina's voice was harsh when she said, "Emma, where did they come from?" When the blonde didn't respond Regina asked again, "Miss Swan! Where the hell did those scars come from?" Emma's face flushed hot and red. She looked up at Regina and then back down at the floor. "For God sake Emma! Where..." Regina's voiced softened when she realised that the blonde was crying. She felt a pang in her heart looking at the shivering young woman beneath her. She wanted to engulf the blonde in a warm hug but resisted the urge. Instead she sat down next to Emma and pressed her back against the bed frame.
"Emma?"
"You know how I was in the system as a kid? Yeah well I got passed around a lot. I was just a meal ticket that got thrown around. I was worth nothing to them. When I was 12 I was put in a home with 2 other kids. If we stepped out of line, well...the consequences were...we would get taken to the back room and Matthew, my foster father, would take the belt off his jeans and whip us. It's no big deal Regina, really. It's in the past." The brunette sat silent, her jaw dropping from what she had just been told. She had to turn her head away from the sheriff as she could feel her eyes filling with tears. She managed to hold them in and she turned back to the blonde. "Emma I..."
"Regina seriously. It's no big deal. It was in the past. I have moved on. I'm...I'm over it. I'm okay." And with that Emma pushed up with her legs, sliding up and sitting on the edge of her bed. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her black hoodie. Regina stood and went to say something but Emma cut her off, "Careful there Madame Mayor! There you go again! If you keep this up people might begin to actually think that you are capable of caring!"
At that comment Emma lay back on her bed and smirked at Regina who had walked over to the doorway. She stopped before leaving and said, "Watch your tone, Miss Swan. After all you are speaking to the one and only Evil Queen." Regina did her best evil laugh, which left the two women giggling hysterically.
As Regina walked into her own room and plopped herself onto her bed. She felt a deep satisfaction at being the cause of the blonde's laughter. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes tightly shut.
She was only asleep for a few hours when she was awoken by Emma's screams,
"HELP! NO! NO PLEASE NO! MATTHEW NO! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!"
Panic rose in Regina as she heard the younger woman screaming. She shot up, ran out her door and heard footsteps to her right. Henry came into view down the hallway, walking rather casually. "Oh, hey Mum!" Regina gave him a confused look, "W-what's going on Henry?!"
"It's Ma...her nightmares. She has them almost every night." Henry pushed past Regina, walked through the door and over to Emma, who was shaking and crying under her covers. Henry slipped into his mothers' bed and hugged her tight and whispered that it was just a dream. He told her that he was there and that it will be okay. Regina's heart melted at the sight of his little prince acting so grown up while comforting the blonde. She didn't need anyone to tell her what those nightmares were about.
Emma looked at Regina in time to see a look of sympathy and understanding. But as soon as she had seen it, it had disappeared again and she was left with Regina's usual masked face.
The brunette went downstairs to fetch Emma a glass of water. By the time she went back upstairs, Henry was leaving his mothers room. "She's calmed down now. It might happen again but you don't need to worry, we have a routine" He gave her a tired smile and wandered back off into his bedroom. Regina walked over to where Emma lay and handed her the glass. The blonde sat up and thanked Regina, who had kneeled on the floor besides Emma's bedside table. She noticed an unlit candle sitting next to some of the blondes other possessions. Regina waved her hand around the top of the candle a few times. All of a sudden the candle was alight with a purple flame, dancing about in the darkness.
"You can still use magic?"
"Of course dear, I just haven't been because you know. I want to change for Henry." Emma smiled at Regina, "So what's the candle for?" The mayor took the empty glass from Emma's hands and said, "Keeps the nightmares away." She smiled and left the blonde alone to sleep.
The next morning
Emma sensed someone in her room. She had only just woken up and she hadn't opened her eyes yet. She lay for a while listening to the shuffling of feet in her room. She peeked through squinted eyes to see who it was and saw the familiar figure of the mayor. The brunette was looking on a shelf when Emma startled her, "Regina?" Her voice was rough and groggy from sleep, but it was enough to make Regina jump. "Oh, Miss Swan. I-I was just looking for some perfume. Henry told me I could find some on this shelf but I can't seem to see any. I'm sorry for waking you." Emma opened both eyes and said, "Why do you need perfume? You aren't going out today."
Regina turned with a confused expression. "You told me to take the day off work. My work basically revolves around saving your ass these days and if you are here then I won't need to." Emma shut her eyes while smirking and continued, "No one will try and hurt you here. So stay. And don't try and argue with me because..." Before she could finish her sentence she was already asleep. A small smile played on Regina's lips as she stared at the sleeping blonde whose messy hair was swept over half her face.
She went back to her own room and found herself another few hours of sleep.
She woke up to the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice, "Emma! What the hell! Wake up! You are supposed to be getting ready for work!" Regina rolled her eyes and listened. Lines formed across her forehead as she tried hard to hear Emma's response. She heard the blonde groan a few times before replying, "Mum. I don't have to work today. Regina gave me the day off." Mary Margaret scoffed, "That woman does not control you! You need to be out there helping the people of Storybrooke!" This time it was Emma who scoffed in annoyance, "No. Mum those people are quite capable of taking care of themselves for one day!"
"Emma! You are the savior for God sakes! You need to be out there showing everyone who you are!"
Regina awaited Emma's response but there was silence. Her eyebrows furrowed as she listened harder. She moved closer to the wall so she could hear more clearly, "Mum please don't do this right now. Not while Regina is here. You know I don't like the term 'savior'. I am not a great and heroic savior. That's not who I am. It's who you want me to me." Her voice cracked with weakness and the older woman's heart ached when she could hear the vulnerability in the words. Mary Margaret's harsh tone angered Regina, "You are the savior whether you like it or not, so pull yourself together and start acting like it. Get up and go to work." The mayor jumped when she heard a door slam and her gaze fell on her own door when she heard the footsteps approaching.
The door swung open and Mary Margaret's glare burned into Regina, "I want you out! When I get home from work you had better be long gone! You are not welcome here. You are evil!" The last three words were said with such malice that it made Regina cringe. The brunette in the doorway spun around and left. The space was filled moments later when a timid Henry walked in. "Mum? Don't listen to her. You aren't evil! I have to go to school now but I hope you're still here when we get back! I love you!" Regina smiled a sad smile, "I love you too Henry."
Regina and Emma had remained in their bedrooms until the Charmings and Henry had left. As soon as the coast was clear Regina felt the bubble of hunger in her stomach. She made her way down to the kitchen. She looked around in every cupboard for some ingredients and began preparing pancakes.
Once she had finished eating her own, she made a few extra and placed them onto a plate with some maple syrup. She poured a glass of orange juice and carried the plate and cup up to where the blonde was still in bed. "Knock knock? You awake Miss Swan?" She earned a grunt from the sleeping woman. "I made pancakes." At this comment the blonde opened her eyes wide and grinned. "With syrup?!" Regina put the plate and glass on the bedside table. Emma looked at Regina with a confused smile, "I don't understand why people would want to hurt you. I mean, I read about you in Henry's book but I have never heard your story." She popped a chunk of pancake into her mouth and pointed to a vacant space on the end of her bed. Regina obliged and perched herself on the edge of the mattress, "Look. I lost someone that meant the world to me. Your mother took him from me. She took my happiness. So I took hers, along with everyone else's. I was evil. I am evil."
The hurt in Regina's eyes as she spoke made Emma want to take all of the older woman's pain away. When a single tear fell from Regina's eye she stood up to leave. Emma reached over and grabbed the brunette's hand, "Regina. You are not that person anymore. I don't care what Mary Margaret says because I believe that you have changed. Also, you are staying here regardless of what she says. You aren't safe at back at your house. Okay?" The Mayor pulled back to release her hand from Emma's but immediately regretted the decision when the absence of warmth became obvious. "Emma. Your mother..." "Regina. I don't care what she says. I want you to stay. Please."
The brunette looked over to the younger woman whose eyes looked sincere and very tired. "Eat your pancakes and get some sleep. You look like you need it." Emma opened her mouth to say something but Regina cut her off, "I will be here when you wake up." With that, the brunette left Emma's room feeling unusually contempt with the idea that someone actually wanted her to hang around.
The rest of the day was quiet. Not an awkward quiet. Just a peaceful quiet. Emma slept for most of the day, occasionally coming down for a drink or something to eat. Regina spent her day seated comfortably on a chair, in the corner of the living room, with her nose in a book.
Whenever Emma entered the room she would look over at Regina and wonder exactly why the woman who had the whole town running in fear, made her feel so safe. She rounded the island bench and poured herself a glass of orange juice.
She put her elbows on the smooth surface and flicked through the newspaper that was on a pile of magazines. Emma loved reading the newspapers. She loved reading about the big cities that she used to live in before Henry knocked on her door late that night.
"Anything interesting happening on the outside?, Regina had noticed the blonde examining the paper. "Nothing out of the ordinary I guess. A few break-ins, some guy won the lottery and lots of other boring..." Regina's head jerked up at the sound of glass shattering. Orange juice had splashed all over the floor and the younger woman had frozen.
"Emma! What the hell!" Regina threw her book on the chair and ran over to the kitchen. "Emma what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" The blonde pointed to a page in the newspaper and sunk to the floor, head in hands. Regina scooped up the paper and began to read aloud, "Matthew Hennings was killed last night in the crash that occurred on the corner of 6th and 7th street." She looked at the picture of a man with a cold glare then back down at the shaking blonde curled up on the floor and made the connection.
"Oh Emma", she said as she sat down, "Is he the Matthew from your nightmares? Your foster father?" Emma's sobs grew louder as she glanced at the older woman. Emma was lying down in a ball with her head next to Regina's thigh. Instinctively, the brunette placed a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder who responded by moving closer, lifting her head up and resting it in Regina's lap. She knew it was a bold move but she really didn't care right now. The mayor's shock took hold of her for only a second before she spoke, "Emma, he is gone now. He can't hurt you or anyone else ever again! I am so sorry! It's my fault. If I had never enacted that awful curse this never would have happened to you." Regina found herself running her fingers through locks of curly blonde hair in an attempt to comfort the younger woman. Emma's breaths slowed and her whimpers softened. "I know. I'm sorry I just freaked out when I saw the photo. Regina you can't think like that. If you never made the curse then, sure I wouldn't have been in foster care, but we also wouldn't have Henry. So I guess some good came out of it."
Tears fell from the brunette eyes, half out of the burning guilt she felt in the pit of her stomach and half out of pity for the younger woman below her. The two women remained in that position, with Emma's head resting on Regina's thigh, for a long while. Both content in just having the comfort of each other, neither of them wanting to leave the other woman's warmth, though neither would dare to actually admit it. Regina let her head rest against the cupboard door behind her and closed her eyes, leaving her arm wrapped around the blonde's shivering shoulder. Emma felt the haze of sleep come over her, but not before hearing a faint, "I'm sorry", escape past the older women's cherry lips.
The women awoke with a jolt hearing the front door swing open and the Charmings walking in with Henry. Being the growing boy he was, Henry went straight around the island bench to grab some food but stopped dead when he saw the smashed glass, the orange juice everywhere and both his mums on the floor.
"Ma? Mum? W-what happened?"
The two women still groggy with sleep grunted in response. The stabbing pain in Emma's neck and the lack of feeling in Regina's legs made it obvious they had been asleep for a while. "What the hell is going on here?!" Mary Margaret now stood beside Henry. "What did you do Regina! Emma are you okay?" "Mum I'm-", Mary Margaret cut her off. "I thought I told you to get out of my house, Regina! And yet you are still here! Get away from my daughter this instant!" Emma sat up next to the brunette, their shoulders touching.
"And you! I expected better from you Emma! I told you to get your ass to work but David tells me that you didn't even show your face all day!" At the mention of his name, David rounded the bench. He took in the scene, the two women on the floor looking quite terrified and his wife's red blotchy cheeks and bulging eyes. He pulled on Henry's shoulder forcing him away from the situation.
"Let's go for a walk kid?"
Both Emma and Regina mentally thanked David for sparing the child from having to witness any more. "Emma! Clean this mess up right now. And as for you, go and pack your things. You are not, and never were, welcome in my home. Your evil doesn't belong here." With that, Mary Margaret stormed off. Regina snuck a look at the woman beside her, who was staring at the ground through tear filled eyes. "Emma. I"
"I don't hear any movement in there!" Mary Margaret's voice pierced the air with its ferocity. Emma's eyes met the brown pair that were on her. She forced a smile, "I'm okay." Regina slowly got to her feet, immediately missing the comfort of Emma's shoulder pressing against her own. She exited the kitchen, remembering to grab the paper on the way through and throwing it in the trash can as she passed.
She made it to the spare room and began to pack items into a duffel bag. She felt so guilty for leaving Emma down there alone with her mother. A million thought were dancing through Regina's head, swirling and entwining forcing the brunette to sit down due to dizziness. She took a few deep breaths and continued to pack until any sign that she had even been there was removed. She rolled her eyes at the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice and headed for the stairs. As she entered the room she saw that David and Henry had returned but she also noticed the blonde's absence.
"Mum!" Regina felt small arms wrapping around her waist. She knelt down to be level with her son, "Hi Henry! Did you have a nice walk?" "Yeah it was okay, but Mum, what happened? Why were you and Ma on the floor with a smashed glass and orange juice and why was Mary Margaret yelling and why did Ma look like she had been crying and.." "Henry! Okay your Ma simply slipped and fell while holding the glass of juice. I was making sure she had no injures and she wasn't crying. She was just a little flustered is all." Regina felt the Charmings eyes burning into the back of her skull as she lied to her son, "and as for Mary Margaret's anger, I too would love hear an explanation as to why she would be yelling like that, but I'm afraid I don't have the time nor patience to endure such stories."
She turned and met the glares of the couple standing over her. She stood and placed her hands on her hips, "Now. Where is your daughter?" David scoffed, "Why the hell would you want to know! And why the hell would we tell you!" Regina's eyes skimmed over to Mary Margaret and she raised an eyebrow in question. "We don't want you anywhere near her! So I suggest-" Regina threw a hand up to stop Mary Margaret's yammering and turned to her son, giving him a hopeful half smile.
"She went to work."
Emma had been at the station for a good half hour. Her face was still deep shades of red and her hands were still shaking. Paperwork fell off the desk as she rested her head, using her arms as a form of pillow. Emma closed her eyes and found herself lost, deep in thought. Her memories from childhood all the way up until today flooded through her brain and filled every possible cavity of her skull until she thought she might explode. A frustrated growl formed in her throat as she slammed her fist against the hard wooden table. The pain in Emma's wrist allowed her to focus her mind.
She simultaneously rolled her eyes and frowned when she heard footsteps echoing through the hall. The footsteps stopped in the doorway behind Emma, who stayed facing the other way, "David, I'll come home soon but if you expect me to apologize to her then.." The blonde was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Then she heard the voice that makes her heart skip a beat and sends vibrations down her spine,
"Miss Swan."
The way her name rolled smooth like honey off the mayor's tongue and past those red lips had Emma closing her eyes lost for words as she allowed herself to secretly enjoy the shivers that rippled through her body. The blonde pressed her sweaty palms against the hard oak table and exhaled, releasing the tension in her shoulders. "Regina?", she turned around to face the brunette and smiled, attempting to put up a hard front. "W-what are you doing? Why are you here?" The confusion on Emma's face mirrored the feelings churning inside of the older woman, for even she was wondering exactly why she had come. "I-uhh-well I-Emma you've been crying!", Regina noticed the puffiness of the younger woman's eyes and was grateful that the excuse to change the subject presented itself.
"No! I'm just tired." Regina's gaze focused on Emma's face for a moment, studying the hollowness in her eyes and the practiced smile. She walked over and sat across from the blonde, placing her hands closed together on the tabletop and shaking her head to flip a wisp of dark hair off her face. "Emma", she sighed, "That doesn't work on me."
"What doesn't?"
Regina looked up at and raised her hands, gesturing towards the woman across from her, "That." Emma raised a questioning eyebrow as Regina continued, "That thing you do. Where you hide how you really feel. You put up a wall disallowing anyone to truly know how you are feeling, and you, might I add, have near perfected it. However dear, you fail to understand that not everyone is as dim witted as your parents who have their judgment clouded with this overarching belief that everything is perfect. They have romanticized this world and they won't allow themselves to believe that something may be wrong. Thankfully, I am not as dull as they are. I can see right through your cover up, Miss Swan, and I know, for a fact, that you aren't coping."
Regina tightened her fists into balls, preparing herself for whatever rage the other woman would throw upon her for speaking ill of her parents, but all that came was silence. Emma fidgeted, clenching her jaw and picking at her cuticles before she finally responded, "How can you tell?" She raised her head and green orbs met chocolate ones, "Emma, it's in your eyes. That smile that has everyone fooled doesn't work on me because I can see the hurt. You will never be able to cover up the fact that the goofy and mischievous spark that used to live in your eyes, is now gone."
The blonde stared at the older woman in realisation, "Y-you only know about all that because...because you do it too!" Regina hesitated, "Look...Emma, what I'm trying to say is that I can see something is off. You've stopped eating properly, you have those nightmares, you don't sleep and you act like everything is okay while you're around Henry but as soon as he leaves the real you comes out. The exhausted and hurt you comes out, and I know you think you're protecting him by hiding it but in the long run it will only end up hurting you and him and your family and..." Regina's voiced trailed off as she so badly wanted to add herself to the list but thought better of it. "...just talk to me Emma. Please."
Tears rolled down the blonde's flushed cheeks as the wall that she worked so hard to build had slightly cracked, allowing the brunette to peek through. "Regina, I-I just. I just don't know what to do anymore." Regina could feel her heart tear as those words replayed in her head. Emma sounded so broken and defeated. She just wanted to be able to hold the blonde in her arms to protect her and take all of the pain away, but knowing that she couldn't do that saddened Regina. She hesitantly moved her hands forward and placed them over Emma's, feeling extreme pressure building up in her temples from nerves. But when Emma didn't pull away, a relief washed over the brunette and she felt her cheeks burn.
"I just really don't know what to do anymore. Ever since I was a child, all I wanted was to find my real family and now that I have found them, well, it didn't exactly go as I had planned." Regina raised a curious eyebrow as the blonde continued, "I wanted to be able to spend time with them so I could get to know them, but they are so fixated with me being the 'Savior', that they can't see me for who I am. They want a perfect daughter and I try! I really, really do! And it makes me so angry that I can't live up to their expectations! I hate myself for not being able to! Regina, I'm not good enough for them! It feels just like the foster homes I was in. I feel like I'm worth nothing. I am worth nothing. I can't really do anything right. I was useless as a child and I am useless now. My past has never really exited my mind and it's really scary sometimes and the whole savior thing and the whole perfect daughter thing and the whole "we-want-to-kill-Regina" thing, it's just getting to me! I'm always tired and stressed and angry and upset and I just...I don't want the kid to see me like that so I hide it. And seriously, I am so angry at myself for ever letting myself believe that things will get better. Because I have given it time and it hasn't. And it won't. And I am lost. In all honesty, I don't really see a way out of the dark pit that has become my life because as soon as I think that I have found a way to climb out, I just fall on my ass again. There isn't even any point in trying anymore-"
"No!",
Regina's voice came out a lot shakier than she would have hoped. Her eyes welled up with tears as she squeezed the younger woman's hands tightly, "Emma don't you dare say that! You don't need a way out of this. You need a way through it!" The blonde was sobbing uncontrollably as she shook her head at the other woman, but Regina continued, "I don't care how long it takes! We will get through this! You are worth more than you could ever know, Emma, and you are perfect the way you are. You are perfect as you."
"Regina...I just don't know what to do...wait what!? We?", the shock on Emma's face was evident and the brunette felt her face grow hot. Embarrassed, she pulled her hands away from the blondes and ran them through her hair, "Yes, we. I suppose it is the least I could do."
Emma had stopped crying now as she stared at the older woman quizzically, a small smirk forming on her lips. Regina sensed eyes watching her,
"What?"
Emma continued to stare at the brunette, examining her features, "Before the curse broke, you hated me. But now we are sitting here, at my desk, having a conversation about something other than the 'destroying of my happiness'." She eyed Regina before getting to the point, "What changed?" The older woman's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed as she attempted to form words, "Well I-I...uh...I just um...I guess..."
She sighed and mentally scolded herself for becoming flustered. Emma noticed how Regina's cheeks had turned the darkest shade of red she had ever seen. "Okay, well after you broke the curse, the whole town turned against me. I even lost Henry at one stage. But, even though I had treated you so horribly, you stayed by my side. At first I didn't want a bar of it, but as more and more mobs came to hunt me down, I suppose I found comfort in having someone on my side. You were not required to risk your own safety in trying to protect a monster, but you did. And now, seeing that you are the one in need of a little protection, I am willing to attempt to return the favor." Regina nodded her head slightly, satisfied with her answer not being a complete lie. It was simply the only half of the truth that Emma needed to hear.
"You aren't a monster, Regina, regardless of what everyone else thinks. And besides, you don't need to worry about those stupid people because you will always have Henry and myself on your side." Emma stared at the older woman until she caught her eye.
They both exchanged sad smiles at the silent understanding, before it was interrupted by a phone buzzing. The blonde sighed before answering, "What do you want Mary...yes I am fine...can you just...yes she is with me and...stop yelling at me...no, stop interrupting...oh my god can you just...fine. I will come home now, but Regina is coming too...alright then I won't come...no mum I...okay good. I'll see you soon."
Emma hung up the phone and slammed it down on the hard brown surface. She combed through her hair with her fingers, looking over at Regina who had a concerned look on her face. The brunette shook her head, "I shouldn't-" "Why not? Regardless of whether you're there or not she will yell at me. She always does." The brunette stood and walked around to where the younger woman followed suit and Rose out of her chair. She reached out and grabbed Emma's hands in her own and instinctively began rubbing circles onto the soft skin with her thumbs. "We will get through this, Emma." Regina's reassuring smile caused butterflies to form in the blonde's stomach. She felt Regina's hands pull away as she went to turn towards the door but at the last second, Emma hesitantly wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck, pulling her in and hugging her tight.
A breath escaped Regina's lips in surprise as she found herself engulfed in Emma's warmth. Feeling comforting hands pressing into her back as Regina relaxed into the hug, Emma was relieved that she hadn't pulled away. She let her head rest on the shoulder of the other woman for a long while before taking a step back. The older woman sensed the blonde etching away but held onto her for a few more moments before releasing her grip, instantly feeling the absence of heat and comfort. A small smile spread across Regina's red lips as she saw Emma's face slightly redden. "I promise, okay? No matter what happens, we will get through." The blonde glanced up at the older woman with a sincere smile, "Thank you, Regina." Not another word was said as the two made their way back to Mary Margaret's flat together.
Upon entry, Regina and Emma went straight upstairs, going past the glares shot in their direction from both Mary Margaret and David as they peered over their coffee mugs. The older woman found Henry in his room while the blonde went into her own room.
"Henry? Are you awake?" He sat up in his bed with his back resting against the headboard, "Yeah Mum. Where have you been? Did you find Ma? Was she at work?" Regina perched herself on the end of the small bed, "Of course I found her, dear. She just needed some fresh air and time alone. Henry, does this happen frequently?" The boy's gaze fell to his hands as he picked at the skin around his nails, "Ma is always getting yelled at by Mary Margaret which makes her really sad. I know she tries to keep it together to keep me safe but I know that she is sad. She cries a lot at night time." He looked up at his mother before continuing, "Mum, I just want her to be okay." "She will be okay Henry! I made her a promise tonight. Would you like to hear what it is?" His eyes widened in anticipation as he nodded his head. "I told her that you and I will help her through this and that we will get through this no matter what." A huge smile crept over Henry's face, "You really said that? Thank you Mum!"
He crawled over to where his mother was sitting and flung his arms around her, squeezing so tight that Regina had to gasp for air. They stayed together for another minute or so in comfortable silence, until Emma's yells floated up from downstairs. Regina sighed as she stood from Henry's bed, "Stay here. I'll go check it out."
With that, the brunette made her way down the stairs to the door dividing her from the next room. Regina heard her name being mentioned and decided not to enter straight away, instead pressing her ear against the cold wooden surface.
"Mum! I can't even believe you! Regina isn't who you think she is! I really don't give two shits about what she did in the Enchanted Forest because we aren't there anymore! Wake up and see that you are in Storybrooke! Where she is Regina Mills the goddamn mayor! Not the Evil fucking Queen! Open your eyes and see that she is trying to change!"
"No Emma! You haven't seen the real her! David and I have! She is evil, twisted and manipulative and she ruined our lives! Your life Emma, she ruined it!"
Emma scoffed and her eyes burned into her mothers, "She may have been the reason for me growing up without you in my life but she is also the reason that we have Henry. Without her curse we wouldn't have our son."
From the other side of the door, Regina's heart skipped a beat hearing Emma's words.
"What! 'Our' son?! Henry doesn't belong to that...that monster! Henry is yours!"
There was a pause before the blonde spoke again, "Are you serious. Are you fucking kidding me Mary Margaret? That so called 'monster' raised Henry. She witnessed his first steps. Her ears were blessed with the sounds of his first words. She was there when he rode his first bike. She was there to kiss away the pain from grazed elbows and knees. She was there to tuck him in at night and she was there to shine light through the darkness of his nightmares. Not me! She raised Henry."
Emma paused to take a breath before continuing, tears filling her eyes and her voice becoming shaky, "Yeah sure, genetically he is my kid but I am not his mother. I am not worthy of calling such a wonderfully brought up kid my own. Whether you like it or not, Regina is, and always will be a better mother than I ever could have been to him. And for that, I owe her everything. I will not stand by and let you or anyone else treat her like shit because she doesn't deserve it! She is just a broken women who needs a second chance."
Regina's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, but she didn't have time to even think about it before Mary Margaret was at it again, yelling louder than ever before, "Emma. I don't know what kind of evil curse that woman has cast onto you but I promise we will fix it. We will talk to Gold and get you back to being the savior in no time. You need to go and sleep this off because you don't even know what the hell you are saying."
"Are you being serious right now?! How many times do I have to tell you that she is not evil? She didn't curse me. I meant every single word of what I just said. And also, I am no savior. You guys need to get that out of your heads because I can't take it anymore. I can't handle the pressure you and David put me under to be this big hero. You don't give me the chance to just be me. I am constantly worrying and stressing and I am over it. You guys make me feel like I am not good enough for you. I'm done Mary Margaret. I can't do this anymore. I can't."
"Emma wait-"
Regina flinched hearing the front door slam shut. She paused to ponder for a moment. She was finding it extremely difficult to comprehend what had just been said. She couldn't help but feel this churning bubble of joy at the sincerity and kindness of the blonde's words. She thought about how Emma is with Henry and made a mental note to let her know that she is in fact a wonderful mother.
Hearing Mary Margaret's fists slamming against a tabletop broke Regina away from her thoughts. She waited a moment for her mind to settle.
Anger started to boil in the pit of her stomach as she burst into the room, "How...how dare you!", was all she managed to get out. The Charmings looked at her with such disgust but she continued anyway, "How dare you believe that I would place a curse on Emma! Especially after all she has done for me! You two idiots need to wake up from this dream that you are having! Your daughter was searching for you for 28 years and she has finally found you and all you can think about is her image?!" Regina put as much venom and anger as she could into her words, "All you focus on is trying to make her the savior and shape her into your idea of a perfect daughter. Well, I suggest you snap yourselves out of this 'la-la land' you have created and realise that she is already perfect. She is perfect as Emma! Not some savior that you want her to be. You fools are too blinded to even see the fact that your daughter is not coping! She doesn't want to be known as the savior or the product of Snow White and Prince Charming. She wants to just be herself and you two aren't allowing her the chance!" She took a deep breath of frustration and continued, clenching her fists, "Stop being such selfish imbeciles and start actually caring about the daughter that you supposedly love. And if I hear that, after tonight, you have so much as used the term 'savior' in front of Emma, I will personally deal with you. Do I make myself clear?!"
David and Mary Margaret stood, holding each other for safety. "Oh, and wipe that fear off your faces. It's not a good look on you." Regina smirked before turning on her heels and exiting the room, making sure to slam the door extra hard, causing the whole house to rattle. The brunette pressed her back against the door as she began to mull over what had just occurred. Then she remembered.
Emma.
"Henry! Wake up!"
Regina shook the sleeping boy. "Henry wake up this instant!" The lump under the bed sheets began to wriggle and a brown mop of hair popped out of the blanket, "Mum?" Noticing the stream of tears falling from his mothers' eyes he shot up looking extremely concerned, "Mum! What is it?"
"It's your Mother. She ran out of the house a while ago and...and she wasn't in a good head space and...and...Henry I think she's in trouble. Is there anywhere that she likes to go? Anywhere at all that you can think of? Somewhere that she goes to collect her thoughts or be alone or anything? Henry-" The boy placed a hand on his mothers shoulder, "She loves the woods. Out by the toll bridge. If you cross the bridge and head north straight into the woods, you'll come across a small clearing. It's really closed in and peaceful there. She goes there to clear her head when she is stressed. Why Mum? What's going on?"
"Thank you, dear. I really need to go! I'm sorry, why don't you ask your grandparents what's happening. I'm sure they would be happy to explain."
With that, Regina turned and ran out of Henry's room, down the stairs, past the two idiots and out into the hallway. She tried calling Emma but cursed as no one answered. Remembering Henry's directions she ran out into the night in search of the younger woman.
As she reached the toll bridge it started pouring down heavy droplets of rain, "Are you serious?", she puffed, looking up at the sky. She really needed to find Emma, so she headed straight into the woods and after about three minutes, just as Henry had said, Regina came across a small clearing. She stood still and listened to the eerily quiet night for a moment. She almost jumped out of her skin when a rustling noise came from her right. "Emma?", she gasped as she turned to face the mysterious noise.
"Emma!"
The blonde was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against a log and her knees tucked into her chest. Her pale arms wrapped around her legs to hold them in place as her head rested on her knees.
Regina ran over to the sobbing woman, sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the shuddering shoulders in front of her.
"Emma! What's going on? Why are you out here?!", and that's when she noticed the blood.