hey helping my friend ShaKing99 with his story feedback wantd
"Hey I'm leaving! Shawn is here we are heading out to the bar, if you need me call me! If not dont bug me!
Phillip opens the door to see Shawn in the car, he honks a few times. "Alright I'm coming asshole damn.." he opens the passengers door then gets in after he settled himself he looks over at Shawn.
"Really dude you looked right at me and still honked? I'm not deaf ass."
Shawn laughs. "Haha sorry buddy I'm pretty faded." Phillp looks at Shawn his eyes were red. "Naw your just stupid, were you crying again like a bitch?"
Shawn put his head down on the steering wheel. "I did cry!...(lifting his head up then looked towards Phillip)But I am faded, my girl broke up with me! What am I going to do?!" He began to slam his head on the steering wheel.
"Told you.. little bitch Haha." Phillip began to laugh. "Well dont worry this party should get you to forget that chick." Arriving to the party they could see people coming and going from the house. Shawn looks at Phillip. "Did you put in the wrong address?" Phillip looks around. "No we are at the right spot" Shawn looks around. "Dude this is a fucking funeral!" Phillip shakes his head. "No bro this is were you can get drunk and bang sad girl." Shawn chuckles a bit. "You are messed up in the head aren't you? "A little" Phillip said Shawn sighs. "Damn how we going to get it? Dont we need to be on a list?" Phillip uses his middle finger to post his glasses up. "I have a idea" Phillip looks at the house and points. "Look right there we will go through there." Shawn looks to see where he was pointing.
"You're joking right? You expect us to us to just walk in through the side gate?!" Phillip shakes his head yea. Shawn putz his hand to his face covering his eyes then shakes his head. "Fuck it let's go then."
Phillip shook his head no. He pulls his bag up from his legs. "Wait when did you put a bag there? Phillip raises his hands and wiggled them around while looking at Shawn. "Magic" he began to pull out suits and shoes. "I cant believe you have those in there..."
They get out of the car and began to walk into the backyard, coming around the corner they could see a huge lake. People were jumping in having a huge party, jet ski were driving full throttle in the water a DJ set up at the end of the pier, music was blasting people were having a good time.
"Whoa they must of not like this person who died." Phillip laughs. "No idea." They began to walk up to the party. "Alright let's see I see a few girls up there let's try and talk to them." Phillip pushed his glasses up with his finger. "Let's do this." They walk up to a bar they had set up to the side a group of people were sitting around the bar laughing having a good time. Shawn and Phillip push through the group, they reach up to the bar and order drinks. They grab their drinks and Phillip said. "Hey let's smoke this first before we start." Shawn shook his head ok.
While they were off of the side smoking two girls walk up to them. "Hey you guys!" Shawn coughs in a surprise. Phillip turns around. "Yea what's up?" The two beautiful girls walked up to them one was dressed bright red dress the other was in a black dress.
"Hey you guys mind if we join you? Phillip spoke up first. Shawn was still coughing. "Sure come on over here." They walk up and ask if Shawn was ok. "Yea hes fine got a little surprise for a moment, dont mind him here you go." The girl in the red dress takes it from Phillip. She inhales then blows out. "This is good." Phillip chuckles. "Thanks." She passed it to her friend.
"Ok feeling much better, thought I was going to die there for a moment. Haha." The girl in the black dress laughs. "Here you go." "Thanks, by the way what's your girls name?" The girls look at each other. "You serious? You dont know us?" Phillip looks at them while taking a hit. "Should we?" The girls look at each other again. "Our brother passes away this is his going away party." Shawn spit out his drink. "Oh fuck?" Phillip laughs. "What he ment was oh fuck we know you guys but never talked to you." The girls laugh. "Oh alright cool, well my name is Juile her name is Trish." The girl in the black dress waves.
They talked for awhile, soon it got dark it started to get later. "So you're in collage?" Phillip laughs. "Yea I'm studying engineering." The Julie chuckles. "That's cool you must be super smart!" Phillip pushes up his glasses. "I guess." What about you Shawn? Shawn looks at her with a dead stare. "I dont do anything as cool as him, I just work." Julie looks down. "Oh how lame." She sounded really disappointed.
Shawn shakes his head. "What the hell?" Trish laughs and pat's Shawn on the back. "Its ok she can be a little mean, dont get upset she said that to me. I just work also I cant afford to go to college and I'm not that smart myself." They both laugh at each other. "Yeah when Phillip is running out I'll hook him up and I just bug him when I get bored." Trish looks at Phillip. Phillip just shakes his head no. "So you guys are really good friends then?" Shawn looks at Phillip. "Yea we known each other for a couple of years, we met on Skybook." Both girls awed, they began to go through thier purse. They pulled out thier phones. "Can we add you guys? "Sure we dont mind."
It was late at night almost morning. Shawn and Phillip were pretty drunk. Shawn told the girls to come back with them. So all four got into the car and took off.
All four of them were having a good time while driving but one if them started to get nervous about driving. "Hey maybe we should stop at a hotel or something I don't think we should be driving." Shawn turns to the girl whi said that. "We will be fine we do this a lot." Trish starts to cover her head. "Still I don't think we should be doing this."
Right when she said that a car ran a red light and t-bone the car it sent it flying to oncoming cars. The car got hit again one of the girls flew out of the vehicle, the car rolled a few times before it stopped.
"Y-You... ok Phillip?" Phillip coughs up blood. "I don't think so, my back is broken. You ok?" Shawn tries to move his head looking for Phillip. Phillip was covered in blood his rib was poking out of his shirt. "Dumb ass you're rib is poking out." Phillip tries to move his hand, he barely touches it."O-Oh... That's bad." Phillip looks at Shawn. "You dont look so good yourself." Shawn arm was smashed in between the car and asphalts he was losing blood out of his ripped off arm. Shawn reaches up to Phillip with a closed fist. "Sorry bro this is on me. You can hunt my spirit in the after life. Phillip barely gets his hand in a fist, starts to bring it up to Shawn. "Bet you're ass I will." Before they could fist bump both of thier arms fell lifeless.
hope you like it