Hi, guys. It's me- the person who never updates on her "In Progress" stories but finds the time to write new one-shots. Heh, heh. Miss me?

Anyway, this is a story a FanFiction friend suggested I write after he read one of my chapters in Behind the Scenes: PJO (which I really need a new title for!). To learn more about that apparently inspiring chapter, please visit the story.

Disclaimers: I wish that I owned Percy Jackson as much as Annabeth probably wishes that Hera would suddenly disappear. However… some wishes just don't come true. All rights go to Rick Riordan.

Annabeth's POV

The cow poop was really getting old. I sighed as I scraped it off of my sneakers. Even though I helped save her godly butt twice, Hera still was sending her stupid bovine disasters to leave me those cute little presents.

It was about a year after the second Giant War and I was walking from the Empire State Building to my new apartment nearby. I had rented the apartment to stay in while Percy and I went to Goode together, because, as much as they insisted that they could do it, Percy, Sally, and Paul just didn't have enough room. And that was absolutely fine.

So, at the time, Percy was out on a minor quest to kill some monstrous crocodile that had been terrorizing the pegasi. I would have gone to help him, but I had to finish up some designs for a new temple for Artemis on Olympus.

Unfortunately, Hera wasn't done with her revenge that she started three years ago. Every once in a while, plop! I'd end up not paying attention to where I stepped and accidentally tread right in the nasty manure.

And a couple blocks away from my apartment on that one June day, it happened.

Grumbling not-so-flattering things about the Queen of the Heavens, I trudged home, ignoring the disgusted looks on peoples' faces as they passed me. Whatever, I thought. It's New York; they'll see weirder.

When I finally got back to my apartment, I opened my door and once again walked straight into a pile of literal bull crap.

"Hera!" I screamed in exasperation.

"My, my, dear," said a voice back. "You ought to be more careful where you step."

And there she was. Hera, the goddess of marriage, family, and apparently headaches, was sitting at my kitchen table, sipping coffee from my favorite mug.

"What do you want?" I asked, furiously taking my ruined shoes off.

"To offer a solution to your little… excrement problem," she replied, smirking a little over her beverage.

"That you gave me," I countered.

"True enough," she said. "But I would hate for it to be the case that you would have this curse forever. Gods forbid that you would experience it on any very important day."

I studied her for a while and thought about it. Getting rid of the stupid curse would be a relief, but at what cost?

"What do you need me to do?" I asked warily. "Some sort of quest?"

"Something like that," Hera replied. "But it won't be nearly as dangerous."

"Explain."

She snapped her fingers and suddenly my room dissolved, fading into another setting- a stable?

I opened my mouth to protest, but to my astonishment, all that came out was a low moo.

Horrified, I looked down to see two long, tan-furred legs with cloven hooves. I didn't believe it.

"Ah, yes," Hera said, smiling. "You make quite the lovely cow."

I mooed at her again and stomped my hoof. This was not a quest!

"Now, none of that!" she scolded. "You need to be a good little cow for a week if you want to be free of your curse. I've sent messages to that upstart Percy Jackson to let him know that you're okay. No doubt that he'd come storming into Olympus if he didn't know where you'd gone. After this humiliation of yours, our rift will be mended."

Or I could just trample you, I thought. Then our rift would be mended.

"See you in a week!"

One Week Later

I was going to kill Hera. I really was. Not only was it the case where I was a cow, nobody had cleaned my stall at all and the only things I had to eat and drink were a bowl of mucky water and some hay. The week seemed like an eternity.

To add to that, all the rest of the cows were super depressing, staring at me with big, sad eyes. They all had Ancient Greek names on signs that were nailed to their stall doors. I wondered if they were all people who had gotten on Hera's bad side and been cowified.

I seriously thought that I was going to go insane when I heard that horrible voice.

"Now which one is Miss Chase again?"

Hera was walking down the aisle, looking at all the cows with an amused expression plastered on her face. She stopped at my stall and smirked at me.

"Oh, this one definitely," she said smugly. "It looks the most temperamental."

I huffed at her impatiently, pawing the soggy, manure-covered ground.

"Oh, alright," Hera said. "So impatient!"

She flicked her wrist and suddenly I was human again. Unfortunately, having spent a week as a cow, I forgot the kind of steadiness needed without four legs. I lost my balance and fell onto the ground, which revoltingly was still covered in cow manure- my cow manure. As paralysingly disgusting and weird that was, I forced myself to get up.

I was still in my clothes (thank the gods), but now they were absolutely soiled. My hair was matted, dirty, and reeking of cow poop and hay.

"Are you happy now?" I asked Hera, glaring at her with a week's worth of unspoken curse words.

"Very much!" she agreed.

"There won't be any more cow-related problems then?" I asked suspiciously.

"No," she replied, looking too innocent. "No bovine excrement problems whatsoever. Our feud is sealed."

"Good," I said. "Now send me home!"

She waved her hand and I was transported away.

I ended up being sent to Camp Half-Blood, which was slightly unfortunate, because I landed in the Dining Pavillion… during dinner.

So there I was, covered in cow crap and reeking like Tartarus, in front of about 150 campers who were eating a formerly appetizing meal.

Choruses of "Ew!", "Yuck!", "Who didn't clean the pegasi stables?", and "My nose!" sounded throughout the pavillion. Then everybody turned towards me.

"Annabeth?" called a voice. It was Percy, who, after probably trying to confirm it was me, got up from the table and walked towards me. "What happened? Why are you a mud person?"

"I don't even want to talk about it," I said and started towards the showers. It was a long week and I was so ready to forget about it.

The Next Day

"She did what?" Piper exclaimed.

"A cow?" Jason asked.
"I bet you made a cute cow," Percy said.

"Shut up," I told him, but he couldn't hear me over his and Leo's snickers.

"Wait," Calypso said, obviously confused. "Why would Lady Hera turn you into a cow?"

Percy was in tears now. "Because Wise Girl was a total sassafrass to her!"

"Oh, hush," I chide. "I wasn't that rude!"

Percy continued to snicker.
"So are there any side-effects?" Will asked, holding Nico's hand.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, do you still have a tail?" Leo asked, still in chuckles.

"Or hooves?" Piper asks, smiling.

I start to protest, but suddenly I can't speak. I grab my throat, sort of panicking.

"Annabeth?" Percy asks, slightly alarmed.

I couldn't control what happened next, but to my extreme astonishment, a low noise emitted from my mouth.

"MOOOOOOOO!"

My friends erupted into hysterical laughter and Will said, "I guess that answers my question."

So, yeah. Moo, moo.

Sorry if you don't like Solangelo, but you'll just have to deal with it! And in this version Leo and Calypso came back so… yeah.

Anyway, thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a review or a favorite. Make sure to check out some of my other stories!

Yours In Demigodishness,

~27lablover