A Woman's Worth
Author's Notes: I wrote the fic relatively quickly and at the time, I intended to focus more on the relationship between Sakura and Lee, but as usual, the story had a mind of its own. I hope it's still of some interest; I appreciate any and all comments and constructive criticism.
Disclaimer: The Naruto characters and universe are the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto, et al.
Before she became strong, Haruno Sakura was clever. In her first week at the Academy, she realized that she would never rate as highly as the boys. It was in the numbers—2:1—and set to shrink if the Hyuuga produced an heir less fragile than Hinata-chan. She's heard the talk because a shinobi must pay close attention and sometimes, her sensei forget that she actually does. Some of the boys do, too, but it's not information they need. They have eyes, just like her, and they have enough ammunition to claim that the girls will never move past the training grounds. Some of the older ones actually convinced the younger, more gullible girls that they'll be kicked from the program if they can't prove their worth each quarter. Sakura is too clever to believe them, but if not for Ino, she'd have no comeback when they tell her she'll be the first to go. They have a point: kunoichi aren't any more likely to die on the battlefield than their male counterparts, but they do tend to leave it faster.
She doesn't want to think women are too weak to do as a shinobi must—to accept the risk, to feel nothing, to follow orders—but she looks around and they are everywhere. Women in the classrooms, behind desks, and in the kitchen, their bellies swollen with child, their hair tangled, their feet bare. They are necessary, of course. Konoha must have its children—its next generation of soldiers—but they are vulnerable in a way she never wants to be. In a way she never will be, no matter what Ichiro and his friends might say. There are exceptions to the rule: powerful kunoichi, as brave and strong as any man, though few are as famous. She memorizes all their names, but Tsunade's is the one she mentions most because every single boy knows who she is and none can deny her strength. In fact, they seem to envy it, but they'll think of a retort sooner or later. Sakura is prepared. She's always prepared. It's a compliment she gets from every one of her sensei, at least until she graduates, and she works hard.
She wants to be the best, but it doesn't make a difference in the field. Kakashi dismisses her on their first mission, if not before that, and she feels it. She can't even say he does it because she's a girl. He doesn't seem to notice her sex and he doesn't have much reason to notice her. Sasuke is a genius and obnoxious or not, Naruto is better than anyone expected. In time, he'll be better than her. Sakura can't compete and for the first time in her life, she doesn't know how to start. She can't turn to books and she doesn't have the power to draw her sensei's attention from his disgusting comics to discuss her progress. She tells herself that not even the boys seem able to do that, but of course, they don't need to. Anyone can see they'll be powerful shinobi someday soon, but from the expression on his face, Tazuna only sees a little girl lost when he looks at her. By the time she's ready to prove him wrong, she's too late to come to Sasuke's rescue, or Naruto's and even her best is not enough.
It comes as no comfort whatsoever that Naruto's isn't, either. How can it? Now she's lost both him and Sasuke; now, they're on a collision course with each other, with their own destruction. Strong though she's become, she cannot come between them. She can't even act as a decoy. She's too little, too late and she knows it. She's always been a clever girl. She's always and only a girl, and she won't ever be enough on her own. She's tired of trying, tired of being alone and being ignored. She knows she doesn't have to be. She's known since she was eight years old and Ueda-sensei taught her ikebana. At the time, she'd thought it so unfair that boys could do and be anything to become men, while girls had to arrange flowers and wield fans before they could be women. She'd realized later that Ueda-sensei's lessons ensured she could become a wife if she failed to become a shinobi and her kids would never guess she'd been nearly good enough to be a legend.
Sakura won't ever hang up her hitai-ate; not for her husband or kids or for anyone else, whatever her mother may think. It should be enough for her parents that she's decided to marry before her team, her boys come home. She's always wanted Sasuke for her groom; he's been her first choice as long as she can remember and when he refused to come back, she'd made Naruto her second, but she can't wait for them any longer. They're too focused on each other, and she never stood a chance with Neji. Not that she can blame him: Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino, and Kiba wouldn't have had a chance with her, either, if they'd ever expressed interest. A few years ago, Lee would've been on that list, too, but he's made history now—and many times over. He's worthy of her and his love is so one-track that he swears his life to her, though he knows full well that it belongs to Konoha.
She'll have the springtime of his youth and the glory that he wins and the sons that she needs to be enough. She won't be equal to the boys—never that—but she's a clever girl and there are few things Lee won't do to make her happy. Sakura will make sure she's remembered, and not just as a footnote to her husband.