Been meaning to write this for EONS! Anyway, Arthur does keep getting betrayed and lied to, doesn't he? Well, he's finally had enough now!
Also, thank you to people who pointed out typos! I try to correct them when I see them, and it's really helpful! If you see one, please tell me so I can correct it!
Arthur stormed out of his room, resisting the urge to throw something extremely heavy at anyone who dared to enter his general vicinity. Did he give off some sort of betrayal rays? Did he have a sign stuck onto his back that said 'Please Betray'? Because he couldn't accept the fact that almost everyone he'd even laid eyes on his life had betrayed him! And now Bayard from Mercia had launched attacks on Camelot's northern borders, even though they'd had an alliance for over 5 years. Was there nobody he could trust? Every single person he knew! First Morgana, then Agravaine, even Gwen and Lancelot – though he'd forgiven both of them long ago. Or his father, who had tried to kill his wife not weeks ago. And although he knew that Mithian did it against her will, and he didn't blame her for what had unfolded afterwards, she too had kept secrets and betrayed him. Had she thought he'd let her father die if she'd told him what Morgana had done?
He pushed open the next door with unnecessary force and strode out into the training grounds, where the rest of his Knights were still practicing, unaware of his current state of mind.
"Right" he muttered as he approached them "Right, we'll see who else is betraying me then!"
As he drew nearer, some of the nearer Knights turned towards him, faces showing varying ranges of emotion from bemusement, to fear, to plain amusement (Gwaine was there) at the look on his face.
"OK!" He yelled, causing all the Knights who weren't already staring at him turned and did so "Anyone else here betraying me?!"
There was a moment's silence, before a stout Knight with fair hair raised his hand timidly.
Arthur blinked once.
He hadn't expected that to work. If he had known catching traitors was that easy, he'd have found out about Agravaine a lot earlier on.
"Er" the Knight said awkwardly, as all the surrounding Knights turned as one to stare at him in shock or amusement (Gwaine was still there). "Are we talking about betraying Camelot betrayal, or just run of the mill keeping secrets from you betrayal?"
Arthur stared blankly at the Knight, and it took him a couple of seconds to regain his power of speech.
"There's a difference?" Arthur asked, as the Knight scratched his head awkwardly under his gaze. "What's your name again?"
"Cador" he replied "and… Yeah" he said, answering his first question second. Seeming to take Arthur's incredulous silence as a signal for him to continue, he went on "I mean, I haven't ever betrayed Camelot as such, but I've got my own secret I'll carry to the grave."
"You do?" Arthur asked. Figuring that the intelligence of the Knight was probably not that great, he decided to press his luck "What is it?"
"I accidentally stole- hang on one second…" The Knight looked pleased with himself for stopping himself from revealing his 'secret he'd carry to the grave'.
"OK, now we're on the subject" A Knight standing on the left side said, causing them all to turn and look at him instead. "I'd like to confess to something I've been holding secret for a while"
"Really?" Arthur asked, too surprised to say anything more. He recognised the Knight as Brunor, one of the oldest Knights in Camelot.
"Yeah. I um… started that fire a few weeks back." He confessed, causing Arthur's jaw to drop.
"You started that fire?" Arthur half-shouted. "That almost burnt the whole of the lower town down!"
"I didn't mean to!" Brunor protested loudly, as the Knights gasped collectively "I just… like fire!"
So the man who'd been a Knight for over 30 years was a closet pyromaniac. Great.
"Any other secrets anyone would like to reveal then? To get it off their chest?" Arthur asked sarcastically, as Brunor shrunk slightly under the gaze of the Knights.
Gwaine seemed to be immune to sarcasm.
"I'm actually from a Royal family" He said, as the Knights turned towards him again like they were watching some form of verbal tennis "I could have been a Knight way before you knighted me, if I wanted to."
Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a scoff from Elyan.
"Gwaine, you've been at the alcohol again, haven't you?"
"No I haven't!" Gwaine complained. "It's true!"
"Gwaine, I'm sure you've got an actual secret you could tell us, instead of making just one up." Elyan replied, looking exasperatedly at Gwaine. Gwaine did have a habit of telling them fake stories. It was just what Gwaine did. Gwaine spluttered indignantly at Elyan's statement though.
"I haven't got any other secrets though!" He protested. He fell silent for a few moments, apparently in deep thought. "Apart from the fact that I've slept with every tavern maid from here to Mercia!"
Another disbelieving sound, this time from Leon. The Knights all pivoted again (it was getting pretty irritating, truth be told.) "Gwaine, that's not true."
"It is!" Gwaine insisted. "And you're one to talk! You've only ever kissed the Queen!"
All the Knights turned to face Arthur, and gasped collectively.
"Oh pants" Gwaine mused "that was supposed to be a secret, wasn't it?"
"When has Leon kissed me?" Arthur asked, eyebrow rising incredulously.
"I meant the Queen, not you Princess …" Gwaine said 'helpfully'.
"I was 9!" Leon said hurriedly, before Arthur could start dismembering him. "We grew up together, it was bound to happen!"
The logical part of Arthur's brain was calmly telling him that Leon had done nothing wrong, and that a kiss when you're 9 hardly constitutes an affair. The rest (and considerably larger) part of his brain was screaming at him to throttle Leon. He struggled internally to stop himself from doing so, as his Knights continued to reveal secrets to him.
"I think I might be in love with the maid in the Rising Sun, but I don't know how to tell her how I feel!"
"I'm really a woman!"
"I know steroids aren't the safest thing in the world…"
"Percival!" Arthur exclaimed "You too?"
So that was 3 out of 4 of his most trusted Knights who'd kept secrets from him. Great. Really great. No wonder he had trust issues. And Gwen kept calling him paranoid…
He turned to Elyan, who winced under the fuming glare Arthur had on his face.
"Have you got anything to tell me?"
"Well, remember the time we all got really drunk?" Elyan said hesitantly, with the air of one preparing to prod a sleeping dragon.
"Which time?"
"After your second Anniversary with Gwen" Elyan said "Somebody" he shot a very nasty look at Gwaine, who shrugged sheepishly "thought it would be a good idea to spend the rest of the night semi-comatose."
"And?" Arthur prompted.
"Well, we were pretty drunk" Elyan repeated "and someone" (Another glare was shot at Gwaine) "thought it'd be a great idea to break into the throne room, and try on your crown."
"You tried my crown on?" Arthur said, in a slightly hurt voice. He was rather fond of that crown, after all.
"Yeah… but that isn't the important bit…" Elyan said, hesitating further.
"Go on." Arthur asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear whatever it was Elyan was going to say.
He was right.
"Well, I tried on the crown, and Gwaine took the sceptre, and we… ahem, might have imitated you for a bit, you know what Gwaine's like when he's drunk."
"Unfortunately I do" Arthur said, and then he remembered something. "Hang on" he said, eyes narrowing "wasn't that the night the crown got utterly defaced, and the sceptre was stolen."
Elyan became mysteriously deaf, ignored him, and then continued. "Well, Gwaine thought it'd be a great idea for us to… mess with your stuff, and he took it away, and gave me the sceptre and told me to do something with it."
"You stole the royal sceptre of Camelot" Arthur said disbelievingly "The symbol of royalty and Camelot itself? What did you do with it?"
Elyan winced. "You do not want to know."
"You stole it" Arthur repeated "Could you give it back to me?"
"Do you really want it back after where Elyan shov-"
"Gwaine, for the love of Camelot, do NOT finish that sentence!" Arthur shouted, trying to rid himself of certain mental images.
"Who else then?" Arthur asked, addressing the crowd (which no longer contained just Knights, but villagers. An amused Gwen could be scene watching him.) "Who else has been keeping secrets from me?"
The crowd exploded as people clamoured to reveal their deepest and darkest secrets!
"My mother was actually a druid, and she abandoned me in Camelot for my own safety, years ago."
"I think I've fallen in love with you Arthur!"
"I snogged Gwaine!"
"I hate being a Knight, and I think your sister did a better job ruling Camelot!"
"I'm pregnant, and I think it's yours! And I'm a man!"
"I don't have a secret; I just want to be involved!"
"I accidentally married Gwaine!"
"I'm not even human!"
"I hate Camelot with a passion, and I only live here for tax reasons!"
"I'm pregnant with Gwaine's baby!"
"JE NE PARLE PAS L'ANGLAIS!"
"Realmente? Yo también!"
"CYMRU AM BYTH!"
"Mitä vittua? Go Suomi!"
"芬兰拧你！中国!"
"Anachronismus!"
"I HATE LIFE, AND EVERYONE WHO POSSESSES IT!"
"I JUST LIKE TO KILL!"
Arthur watched as his subjects went mental. There was a huge crowd of fighting people in the centre. He watched in disbelief as Gwaine watched the fight, shrugged and joined in.
"SHUT UP!" He yelled, and the hoard fell silent (apart from the odd war cry or scream of 'Luchar!' from the still fighting crowd in the centre). "Can we reveal our secrets in an orderly manner please!"
Mordred opened his mouth, looking around nervously. "I have-"
"Actually!" Arthur said, changing his mind "Bad idea, scratch that, instead, everybody stop being so stupid!"
He really didn't want to know everyone's secrets. Knowing about just a few of them was pretty awful (he couldn't even think about his poor sceptre any more without feeling like crying). Sir Lucien and Sir Gavin were sharing guilty looks that meant they'd done god-knows-what, and Gwaine was listing his various crimes to anyone who would listen. The silence he had created had vanished, and people were screaming their secrets at him. Now he thought about it, he preferred being betrayed.
"The next person who reveals they've been keeping secrets from me is going to die, slowly and painfully!" he yelled, trying to stop himself from viciously murdering his 'trusting' and 'loyal' Knights.
He turned and stalked away, in (what he thought was) a manly manner. The fighting crowd didn't even seem to notice. (Gwaine was covered in war-paint for some reason.) He wasn't that bothered by the fact that they had kept secrets – Everyone had them, even he did! What bothered him was that none of the Knight had thought him trustworthy enough to tell! OK, maybe he was annoyed at them for keeping secrets then, but he'd had enough betrayal to last him a lifetime.
Suddenly, Arthur walked into something decidedly solid which fell backwards with a muffled thud and a small 'ow'. Merlin lay sprawled across the floor. It seemed Arthur had walked into him while his mind was elsewhere (it was, of course, entirely Merlin's fault though.)
"Are you that clumsy that you can't even walk without bumping into someone?" Arthur asked.
"Says the man who's just barged into me!" Merlin said in indignation, pushing himself upwards. "I heard something about a riot in the training grounds, what-"
But it was as if a small explosion had gone off inside him. He had forgotten about Merlin! Of course, normally he'd say that forgetting about Merlin just made his day that bit brighter, but now… He was wrong! Not everyone had betrayed him! Had Merlin ever betrayed Camelot? Did Merlin break the laws? Had Merlin kept any big secrets from him? No!
"Right!" Arthur said, interrupting Merlin, who'd been in the process of saying something. "We're going out there again."
And he half-dragged Merlin back out into the training grounds, where the fight had intensified further (was Gwaine naked or had his imagination gone completely insane? He was fervently hoping for the latter).
He cleared his throat.
As you might expect, this did little to stop the war going on at the moment. Arthur's irritation was reaching levels of slight desperation now, as this really was becoming a riot. A woman could be seen running round screaming, randomly kicking men between the legs, before running off again, and Sir Cador was weeping openly, rocking backwards and forwards on the ground.
His Kingdom was full of mad people.
Mad people.
MAD!
"ALRIGHT!" Arthur yelled, louder than he thought possible (Merlin jumped) "WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP FOR JUST ONE MINUTE!"
The warring crowds stopped, and looked guiltily around at the mess they'd caused. Gwaine had somehow acquired a large barrel of mead during the fight, and was currently hitting anyone who came near it, but apart from that, the fighting had stopped.
It could have been worse, Arthur reasoned, at least Gwaine wasn't actually naked.
Again.
"Thank you!" Arthur said, maddened beyond belief.
"Er, what's going on?" Merlin asked, looking bewildered.
"Princess here has a stick up his arse!" Gwaine called from his mead, casually punching a man out cold as he spoke.
"No, as far as I'm aware, that's Elyan!" Arthur said, jerking his head towards the Knight in question, who looked down towards the ground awkwardly.
"Right!" Arthur said "I know we've all been having a nice 'Tell the King all your secrets' day, and I know some of you might have secrets you've been meaning to get off your chest all your life, but I don't think you should need to."
A look of dawning comprehension (and slight terror for some reason) was appearing on Merlin's face.
"People have secrets, I get that, I know that you've done something you've been ashamed of, whether you've almost set fire to thousands of people's homes, or defiled valuable artefacts, or whatever else Gwaine's been doing when he's not in the tavern, but I'd like to think that if you did do that, you'd tell someone. Secrets are bad, and it's better you tell someone about them, then have them discovered like this. Unless you've done bad things to royal sceptres, that you should never reveal. Ever."
Arthur stopped for breath, looking quite pleased about the whole speech (and quite smug that the crowd hadn't started fighting again.) He continued, failing to see the increasingly horrified expression on Merlin's face.
"But some people don't need to keep secret, because they trust other people. Take Merlin here" Arthur said, gesturing at his man-servant, who was swaying on the spot slightly and looking faintly sick. "he hasn't announced anything, has he? Or declared undying love for Gwaine – as far as I know – or done unspeakable things to national treasures. He doesn't have secrets, and that's what you should try to do."
For some odd reason, Merlin looked like he was considering running away. Feeling that it would be a bad thing for the object of his speech to sprint away like a girl, he clapped Merlin on the back, preparing to make a grab for him if he tried to escape.
"So next time you feel the need to do something stupid, just… don't. Or don't make secrets and betray someone's trust. General rule of thumb, if Gwaine would want you to do it, don't, under any circumstance, consider doing it. Secrets are bad, so try to be like Merlin and don't betray someone's trust by lying to them!"
Arthur looked proudly at the silent crowd, who were murmuring in assent and turned to look at Merlin admiringly. To his surprise, far from looking thrilled about the complement, Merlin was looking quite nervous and anxious.
"Well." Merlin said awkwardly. "The thing about that is…"