This is a slightly more humorous (or cute if you're into bickering couples lol) version of my other story.
"Quick! They'll never find us in here!" Jigen shoved Fujiko towards the closet door and pushed her inside, following her and closing the door.
"The closet?" she said in disbelief. "Really?"
"Closets are invisible to bad guys!" Jigen said in hushed excitement.
"Sure..." Fujiko said as she rolled her eyes.
The two stood in the small cramped space as the bad guys kicked the door down and searched the place.
Crashes and bangs sounded through the door as furniture and other items were destroyed and thrown about.
A couple minutes later they heard the men talking to each other is some strange and mystical language neither knew.
And then they left, the outside getting quiet.
Jigen and Fujiko knew they couldn't act, as the guys could still be nearby and hear them.
And so to be as quiet as they could they started to banter.
"Back off," Fujiko ordered as she elbowed Jigen in the stomach.
"You back off," Jigen said as he shoved Fujiko's face into the door.
"Asshole," Fujiko yelled as she elbowed him again.
"Bitch," he said, shoving her harder into the door.
"Dickwad!"
"Whore!"
"Drunken fuck!"
"Slut!"
"Cock sucking leg humper!"
"...what?"
"Exactly!"
"What are you, five?"
"You are!"
"Oh my god..." Jigen groaned.
"Oh your god is right!" Fujiko nodded, proud of herself.
"Can we just stop?"
"You stop!" Fujiko used her butt to push him back against the wall, feeling something as she did.
He glared at her as she started to giggle. "What."
"You have a boner," she giggled.
"Shut up, you dumb broad!"
"Whore house imp!"
"Person whose insults aren't even insulting anymore!"
"Person who can't even come up with insults anymore!"
"Person who takes what I say and mimics it!"
"Person who- aw fuck it," she said, turning around and jumping on him and kissing him deeply.
Jigen kissed her back, his hands removing her clothes in desperation.
"Person whose sex life sucks so bad he gets erect over a stupid argument," Fujiko said through pants as Jigen sucked on her neck.
"Person whose sex life sucks so bad that she jumps the first erect man she sees," Jigen said as he kissed down her body.
"Oh god," she moaned in pleasure. "Person whose tongue feels so damn good."
"Person who I want to fuck more than anything right now."
"Person who I want to get fucked by more than anything," she panted, crying out as she came.
"Person who I can now fuck more than I've fucked any other person," Jigen growled as he started to fuck her wildly.
"Person whose balls deep inside of me," Fujiko cried in pleasure.
"Person who loves when I'm balls deep inside of them," Jigen said, growling loudly as he came.
"Person whose hot love fluids are filling me," Fujiko said with a big smile.
"Person who I want to fuck again tomorrow night," he said as he pulled out of her.
"Person who knows where I'll be," she smiled, the two kissing deeply.
They threw their clothes on, kissing once again as Fujiko opened the door. They separated and started out when they paused, the bad guys all standing there with the tongues out, drooling as they jacked off.
Fujiko and Jigen stared at them in disgust, stepping back in the closet and closing the door.
"Person who got turned on by that," Fujiko grinned as she rubbed Jigen's bulge.
"Person who needs to shut the fuck up and suck me," Jigen said as he pushed Fujiko's head down.
Fujiko said nothing, her mouth soon full as moans filled both the closet and the room outside, the combination turning everyone on even more.