Katniss
"I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not."
I remember the night before the 74th Hunger Games. On the terrace that could oversee the sky above and the Capitol below. We were just sitting there, knees hugged against our chest, watching the citizens of the Capitol celebrate. A nausea hit me as I realized, they were celebrating the oncoming slaughter of 23 of the 24 tributes. How sickening.
I lifted my head. How can one die as oneself? Even in the arena? Don't you always die as yourself? And secondly, how can the Games NOT alter who you are? When it comes down to it, you will be forced to do things you would never want to do in day-to-day life, which is take an innocent person's life.
"Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" I had asked curiously.
Peeta shook his head and told me that like other contestants in the Games, he will eventually kill fellow tributes if it ensures his survival, and possibility of winning. But what he said after that, struck me. And I couldn't bring myself to completely agree with it.
"Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to…to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games," Peeta concluded.
Peeta is just like my little duck, Prim. And not only in looks. Sure, they share the same characteristics of those merchants from the Town. But they are overly…optimistic, maybe even hopeful.
In case if he isn't aware, the Games does have their way of changing us. I have seen contestants under the pressure of the Games become animalistic, enjoying and reveling in killing others. Even though they are crippled with guilt, the Games do change you, for better or for worse. And in this case, for worse. I have even heard from my district's only victor, Haymitch Abernathy, that just because you survive the games doesn't mean you are a winner or free – Snow has a way of chaining the rest of your life to the Capitol, and in what horrifying ways does he do so, I would rather not know.
We are pieces of a deadly chess game, from the moment our names are drawn among a crowd of thousands from a reaping bowl. We are the pieces of a chess game, nothing more than pawns. And when the Games start, the pieces get eliminated one by one until a pawn (who is superficially hailed as a King) remains. We are nothing more than game pieces just chosen to fight for a cause we do not support, and in this case, to maintain peace by squashing the rebellion.
"Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective, a lot of hope is dangerous. A spark is fine, as long as it's contained." – Snow
Hope is not hope if it is contained. In that case it would be wishful thinking. But I wasn't prepared to start another game of chess, one that would make me a pawn of another cause I never dreamed of joining. I never dreamed I would be in a two-way game of chess. So far it has been one sided. I had been chosen to become a little sacrificial lamb at the most. If I do survive, I am to be 'bought' by the Capitol to be some symbol of 'peace' as it is nicely worded. But I never knew I would become a pawn or more importantly a knight in a new chess game against Snow, on the side of the Rebellion. I also didn't know how much of a different person I would be when I come out of those games.
Also want me to tell you a secret? I didn't know the Games would expose to me what a life of lie I had lived, to think the people that surrounded me truly loved me for who I am. That's what the Hunger Games do; they change you and they change the people around you, or expose lies you had been blind to.
Finnick
To be honest, he didn't think of her as much. Really, he had gone numb to his surroundings. Snow had killed his family in some sort of 'fishing accident' and Annie had 'killed herself' when he refused to become a prostitute. He would love to sarcastically say like Johanna that there is no one left he loves. Of course, there is Mags, but there hadn't been anyone to make him feel any bit alive, not since Annie was hanged.
When he watched the reaping, he watched with disinterest. The career districts of 1 and 2 were sickening; he couldn't fathom how anyone could want to volunteer to die. There was only one person who could come out of the Games. So why would they happily walk to their own custom-made death trap?
He knew the two volunteers from District 1 were goners. They would survive the bloodbath of course, but only because they are careers. But the two are too weak to even think about coming down to the final eight. Glimmer was too airheaded and flirtatious. If she won the Games, she would be sold as a prostitute just like the rest of them. And Marvel might be used as some sort of underdog by the Career pack, and when his usefulness comes to an end, he will be ruthlessly killed by the District 2 tributes.
District 2 had a chance of having another victor. The girl, Clove, was scary in the aura she gave off and if it came down to it, she wouldn't hesitate to stab her own district partner. And the boy was a huge hulk, he could easily kill someone with a flick of his fingers. But he lacked the agility and grace most victors have. Something didn't convince him that Cato would win the Games.
The districts after that didn't really capture his attention until they came to District 11. Thresh was a huge hulk just like Cato, but he was a lot more silent. But what really got to him was the little girl of 12 that got reaped, at her very first reaping! It fueled his hatred for the Capitol for taking fun in such sick games in which children and teenagers were forced to kill innocent people they don't know just to live a life of misery in the end.
But when they got to District 12, it was extremely memorable.
The escort for District 12 is Effie Trinket. Just like all Capitolites, she wore a bizarre outfit. Hers was pink, as that was some kind of ridiculous 'trend' in the capitol. She was overly happy to pick two children to die in the Arena.
Finnick snorted as he poured himself a glass of ice water. Unlike Haymitch, he never acquired taste for alcohol. And anyways, no other victor had the everlasting liver like Haymitch did.
"First off, we have a special presentation brought to you all the way from the Capitol!" Effie squealed like a little school girl and the screen behind her played a clip that lasted a couple of minutes. It reminded the district 12 why Hunger Games exist: as some sort of reminder of a failed rebellion that happened 74 years ago, and it was proclaimed that each district was to send a boy and a girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to participate in a fight to death and the last one remaining would be crowned Victor.
Effie recited the last few words of the clip to herself in pure bliss and she opened her eyes and squealed annoyingly again, and chirped into the microphone, "Oh I just love saying that! As usual, ladies first!"
"That woman makes me sick," Finnick grumbled to himself as he watched her claw around in the girl's reaping bowl for a name.
Effie dug her arm deep into the bowl and plucked one abruptly out. Clicking her heels against the wood as she walked back to the microphone she daintily unfolded the slip of paper and read, "Primrose Everdeen."
Finnick's heart dropped into his stomach as he watched a girl with pale skin, scrawny frame, blonde hair braided into two pleats and blue eyes shuffle herself to the podium. She was as small as Rue! This is sickening!
"Prim!" Another girl's voice rasped out from the section of older girls.
"What is she thinking? Is she nuts?" The district 4 escort screeched.
Finnick didn't answer but had his eyes glued on the screen intently.
"Prim! Prim!" The girl rasped. She struggled against two peacekeepers who tried to hold her back. Panic filled her face and she yelled, "I volunteer! I volunteer!"
Suddenly everyone was looking at her and the peacekeepers released their hold on her as the girl said in a louder voice, "I volunteer as tribute."
Finnick's eyes widened as he dropped his glass of water. It shattered once it hit the floor and he drowned out his escort's screeching voice admonishing his manners.
A soft, wrinkled hand grasped his own and he turned to Mags, his fellow mentor. She simply smiled and said, "She's a brave soul, isn't she?"
"But why would she volunteer? No one volunteers in outlying districts," Finnick argued.
"It must be love," Mags shrugged.
"But even love isn't strong enough reason to volunteer," Finnick argued.
"You'll see," Mags nodded her head to the screen.
"NO KATNISS NO! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Primrose yelled hysterically as she wrapped her skinny arms around the girl whose name is Katniss.
"Prim, go find mother, you'll be alright," Katniss said urgently.
"NO!" Primrose wailed and hugged her sister tighter.
Suddenly a guy the same age as Katniss picked Primrose up and walked her over to a woman who was presumed to be their mother. And all the way being carried, Primrose screamed, "NO! KATNISS!"
Katniss shakily drew in a breath and walked to the podium, escorted by two peacekeepers. When she got to the top of the podium, Effie exclaimed, "Well District 12's first volunteer! Let's have a round of applause!"
Effie began to clap enthusiastically but no one followed her example, making her claps echo the place in a haunting manner. Instead of clapping every person in District 12 kissed their middle three fingers of their left hand and held it in her direction. Katniss's eyes watered.
"What's your name, dearie?" Effie asked.
"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen," the girl said monotonously.
And then it hit Finnick like a thousand bricks why this girl would volunteer for Primrose. SHE WAS HER SISTER! And she must love her more than her own life if she's willing to risk her own life to keep her safe.
"She must love her a lot," Mags said, "More than life itself."
"I bet my buttons that was your sister reaped, wasn't it?" Effie asked obliviously.
"Yes," the girl choked out.
"Now for the boys," Effie chirped and pulled out a slip, reading, "Peeta Mellark."
He walked to the podium, Effie wished everyone Happy Hunger Games, and the two shook hands. They walked away and the screen went black.
Something struck Finnick when he saw her. Her lean body shape was unlike the emaciated, skinny people of her district. She was agile, strong, yet slender. Quick reflexes and possibly good or even proficient with a few deadly weapons. She had the stealth, agility and reflexes of not a Career, but one shared among the Victors.
It was then on, when he saw her face grim with hatred and eyes of silver blazing with defiance. Katniss Everdeen was going to win the Hunger Games.
-o-
He hadn't thought much about her until he was at the tribute parade. In the box reserved for the mentors, he listened to his friend, Johanna, complain how her tributes were a couple of wimps and going to be dressed as trees.
"I honestly would love to throw an axe in her face, she's so useless, our stylist," Johanna ranted as the chariots whirled past. None of them were memorable to catch their attention.
"Woah, look at 12," Blight said with reverence.
And it was true. The pair from 12 were alight on fire. Fire.
"What the fuck? The weaklings from 12 are stealing the spotlight!" Johanna seethed in jealousy.
"I think you're blind if you think the girl is weak. The boy's a goner, but the girl has defiance burning in her eyes. Didn't you see her reaping? Hatred was just seeping from her," Blight chuckled.
"Fire, though," Finnick wondered, watching with shock as Katniss boldly caught a rose with her mouth and flashed kisses to the crowd, making them lose their minds. Peacekeepers had to keep capitolites contained and refrained from climbing over barriers to run to Katniss. This is the first time the crowd has gotten this violently crazy for a tribute.
"They're losing their minds," Mags murmured.
"Well what do you do with coal? Other than wear it. You burn it," Haymitch smirked as he took another gulp from his bottle of whiskey, "And Jo? Just because she's from 12 doesn't mean she's a weakling or a rat as you always call us people from the Seam. She's not as stupid as you're thinking she is."
Johanna was basically seething and fuming from her seat but said nothing in reply, smartly choosing to shut up for the moment.
-o-
The girl shocked him yet again when she managed to pull up the highest score ever recorded in the history of Hunger Games, an 11. Johanna was so furious and jealous that she even talked about finding out ways to threaten the answer out of Katniss. Blight had to hold her back and basically drag the axe woman to their flat.
And when the interviews came on, they were as usual bland and boring. Glimmer was so flirtatious she came off as trashy yet Caesar tried to twist it into a 'sexy' angle. Marvel stuttered a lot but the talk show host played it off as 'quiet' angle.
Caesar Flickerman had this personality where he tried to make all tributes seem at ease when talking to him in front of thousands of people. He always tried to come up with some sort of angle for them no matter how bad they mess things up, trying to make them look good.
Clove came off as a psychopathic bitch and Cato was some sort of prideful, arrogant hulk. His own tributes were meek and unmemorable, Finnick thought dismissively, and he hoped they were smart to get past the Cornucopia Bloodbath.
Thresh was silent and gave one word answers to Caesar, who dubbed him with the 'silent but strong' angle. And beautiful Rue who glided over to the podium in a gossamer gown stole the hearts of Capitol as she answered the questions with a soft, childish voice. Finnick hated the Capitol more and more for placing a sweet, innocent child in some brutal game where she will meet her end.
And suddenly it was Katniss's turn.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you know her as a girl who volunteered for her sister from an outlying district, others may know her for her impressive score of 11, and some may know her as the Girl on Fire, please welcome KATNISS EVERDEEN!" Caesar bellowed.
Katniss walked to the podium with power and lethal grace in her movements. Every bit of her screamed VICTOR to the mentors seated in the front row.
Gloss and Cashmere were jealous. Enobaria was baring her gold-tipped fangs and Brutus was growling. Beetee was smiling, Wiress was mumbling 'she's the one' over and over again. Mags had a proud smile on her face. Blight was amused with Johanna who was seething in jealousy but her face held some amusement as to what Katniss would say. Seeder and Chaff didn't say or show much but they had a hope she would at least spare their tributes. And Haymitch was besides himself in glee, for the first time in 24 years, he had a true fighter.
And Finnick was besides himself in awe. Something about her demanded all of her attention. And it scared him. She was creeping up on him, just like Annie did. And this girl was having way more effect on his heart than she did. God forbid if she captured his heart. He would lose his sanity if she died.
"I was asking you what you felt about the tribute parade," Caesar chuckled when she asked him to restate his question.
"I just hoped I wouldn't burn to death," Katniss joked wryly.
Johanna snorted at Katniss's sarcastic yet dark joke.
The capitol roared in laughter, not once questioning her dark humor. Caesar laughed heartily before asking, "So what was your favorite thing in the Capitol?"
"C'mon, sweetheart, don't screw this up, we know you don't like this place but don't be blunt," Haymitch whispered.
Katniss's eyes flickered over to the mentor's row, and Finnick's heart thundered in his chest. He panicked, was she looking at him? She can't be! But she looked to someone behind him. Looking behind him, it turned out she was looking at Cinna. Katniss smiled, making him feel instantly jealous.
"Honestly? I think it's the lamb stew," Katniss said, looking at Caesar.
"Oh? The one with the plums?" Caesar clarified.
"Yes! That one! I eat them by the bucketfuls!" Katniss then grimaced in worry, "Oh but it's not noticeable, is it?"
Caesar laughed and promised her she was perfectly fine.
"Now I have got to say, I am disappointed that you're not blazing with flames," Caesar said.
"Oh I'm wearing them. Would you like to see?" Katniss asked.
"Would you all like to see?" Caesar asked the crowd, and it went wild, screaming consent.
"Very well," Katniss smiled and stood up. She twirled and the dress was ablaze with the same fire she wore at the parade.
Suddenly she got dizzy and Caesar had to steady her. He cheered, "Encore! Encore"
"Oh no, I can't, I'm too dizzy!" Katniss exclaimed.
"Oh that's such a shame. But I have one important question. That was your sister, was it not?" Caesar said and behind them was a picture of Katniss and Prim hugging just moments before Gale ripped her away from her.
Katniss swallowed thickly, "Yes."
"And what did she ask you?" Caesar asked.
"She told me to win," Katniss breathed deeply, in and out, "For her."
"And what did you say?" Caesar encouraged her gently.
"I said I would try," Katniss said.
"And try you will," Caesar patted her hand and held it as he rose their hands up and bellowed, "Katniss Everdeen, the GIRL ON FIRE!"
Oh she was most definitely the girl on fire, Finnick thought, as she watched her get off the stage and melt into the surroundings. Next up was Peeta Mellark. He started off the interview of talking about the weird gadgets Capitol had and how interesting the showers were. He talked about how one time he fumbled with them and got shot with rose shampoos, and asked Caesar if he smelt like roses. They each took turn sniffing each other and Johanna gagged.
"He's so fucking weird," Johanna snapped.
"Tell me, is there that one special girl who is waiting for you back at home?" Caesar asked.
"Well I do have my eyes on this one girl, but I don't think it will do me any good winning the Games," Peeta said dismissively.
"And why is that? Here's what you do, you win the games, go home and confess to her! No girl can reject a love confession from a Victor!" Caesar exclaimed.
"This guy is so crappy, I think it would take a sane girl to reject him," Johanna said in disgust.
"I don't think it will help me…because the girl I'm in love with came with me here to the Capitol," Peeta declared softly.
The crowd went wild; Finnick's hands clenched and a low, feral growl escaped his lips as he marched away from the rest of the Victors, ignoring Johanna's yells for his attention.
-o-
He watched as she escaped the Cornucopia Bloodbath.
He watched as she escaped a forest fire. He nearly lost his mind when she got burnt.
He watched as she dropped a tracker jacker nest on the group of Careers and Peeta.
He watched as she formed an alliance with Rue.
He watched as she blew up the Career's supplies.
He watched as Rue died and Katniss avenged her death, spearing Marvel.
He watched Katniss sing Rue a lullaby from her district and decorate the little girl with flowers, making her seem like she was asleep, not dead. Like, she was waiting for a true love's kiss.
He watched as Katniss found her district partner and nursed him back to health and watched with rage as they played this sappy 'star-crossed lovers' act for all of Panem to see just because of Peeta's stupid love declaration.
He watched as Katniss went for the Cornucopia and got pinned by Clove and saved by Thresh who killed Clove and told her to run.
He watched as Katniss killed Cato.
He watched Katniss pull out nightlock and told Peeta they would both eat it on the count of three. The moment the berries passed their lips, Claudius Templesmith's frantic voice called them to stop.
He watched the two of them be crowned as Victors.
He watched Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, spark a revolution he was sure he would put an end to the Hunger Games and Snow's tyranny.
He watched Katniss steal his heart with every near death experience she faced in the arena.
And he knew he fell in love with her in a few short weeks when she was branded the 'star-crossed lovers' and watched their sappy interview with Caesar Flickerman after the Games. He knew he loved her when seeing her hold hands and kiss Peeta tore his heart apart and he felt like kicking around furniture and break them until he became numb.
Katniss Everdeen, the girl from District 12, the Girl on Fire, the Mockingjay, and the girl who's a star-crossed lover to Peeta, stole his heart. And he doesn't want it back. But in return, he wants hers. And he won't let a stupid engagement stop him from getting what he wants.
She crept up on him. Just like Annie. And he won't let her slip away like she did.
This time he will fight for her to be his. This time he knew he learned his lesson. He's holding on and never letting go, not anymore. He will go get her and won't let anyone get in his way.
TBC…
A/N: This fanfiction is slightly inspired by "Change of Perspective" by Slytherin-Princess210. It was only 4 chapters long and I don't think he/she will continue it so I decided to draw the some ideas from it and twist them into a plot of my own. I hope you like my new fanfiction and please check out their fanfiction too!