"SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE!"

Severus' head shot up. He hadn't heard that voice for nigh on twenty years. He quickly rose as the door to his office slammed open, and there she was; Petunia Evans-Dursley, in a full-blown fit of rage, brandishing her wand.

"Tuney?" He breathed out, stock still as he watched her, not even flinching when she pointed her wand directly at him.

"Sit your arse down before I hoist you up by your ankle. NOW!" She bit out, smirking when he did so. "Good, now would you care to explain these?" She asked as she pulled some rolled up parchment from inside her robes and threw them at him. She watched as he opened the first roll and upon reading the first line, dropped it as if it was filth.

"If the first word that comes out of your mouth is 'Potter', Merlin help me I'll remove it myself, the muggle way, without any pain relief!" She threatened him, smirking again in delight when he visibly drew in a breath, calmed himself and began to actually read the parchment.

Dear Aunt Tuney,

I got into Gryffindor just like you said! I know you said that all the houses were good, but the Sorting Hat tried to put me into Slytherin and I said no! Remember that time when we ran into Mr. Malfoy in Madam Malkins? Well, his son Draco is even worse! He's a right little snob, he made fun of my friend Ron just because his family doesn't have much money. Anyway, he was sorted into Slytherin. I'm sorry Aunt Tuney, I know you said you'd love me no matter what house I get into, but there is NO way I'm sharing a room with that dingbat for seven years!

Classes have been amazing! I know I didn't believe you when you said Professor McGonagall could turn into a cat, but Merlin you were right! I got five points for being one of the few to turn our matches into needles. There's one class though I'm really starting to hate - Potions.

I know you said you and mum were friends with him years ago, and that he didn't like my dad, but he's such a bully! He's worse than when Piers got his new Gameboy and bullied everyone who didn't have one! In the first class he started asking me these questions I had no idea about, I checked afterwards and they weren't in any of the books you taught me from, and they weren't in our first year books either!

Speaking of which, I don't even have my potions book anymore! He took if off me because I was 'clearly so arrogant that I had to mock those who couldn't afford their books'. It's not fair, I know its not in the best condition but that was Mum's book! I tried to tell him but he wouldn't believe me and just started spouting off about how I as 'so much like my father I'd say anything to get out of trouble, even using my dead parents as an excuse'.

I tried to tell Professor McGonagall but as soon as I told her it was about Professor Snape she just told me to stop complaining, yes he may be grumpy but he was a good teacher, and wouldn't even listen to me! I've been having to borrow Hermione's because she's already memorized it, and he keeps taking points off me for not getting a new one when I don't even know how! I'll shut up about him now. Hey, maybe you could send him a howler?

How's Dudley doing? Is Dudley alright at Smeltings? I miss you all already, but I'll definitely come home for Christmas.

Love,

Harry

Bugger. Bugger it all. The little brat had written to Tuney complaining about 'mean old Snape', and now he was facing the firing squad that was the Medusa of the wizarding world, or so Severus like to think. The beautiful woman in front of him always know how to hit where it hurt him the most, and he knew she'd be overpowering her spells if he didn't come up with a reasonable explanation for his behaviour. In one word; he was absolutely petrified. Damn it all, where was the bloody Dark Lord when you needed him to kill you. Six feet under, like you will be soon, his brain supplied. For Merlin's sake Severus, answer the woman before she starts casting Unforgivables!

Collecting himself, Severus sneered as he threw the letter back at Petunia, who simply raised her eyebrow and twirled her wand in her hand. "Clearly the brat is lying Petunia; you must know that. You raised the arrogant little berk after all." He smirked at her, but his heart wasn't in it. He never could lie to his Tuney, even after nearly two decades. Oh he was so dead, he honestly did not know why he took the book from Potter. All he remembered was immediately recognizing it, and thinking that Potter's hell-spawn certainly didn't deserve to even touch one of his late friend's possessions, never mind own one!

"Honestly Tuney, I was going to ignore the blithering idiot from the moment I laid eyes on him, regardless of whether Lily named me his godfather or not. I can't help it; every time I look at the kid I just feel so angry, seeing Jame's Potter's arrogant little smirk or that bloody hair! And his eyes!" Severus sighed, burying his face in his hands before continuing. "Can you honestly blame me for disliking the son of the man who effectively led our Lily-flower to her death! The bloody idiot should have known not to pick that bloody mongrel as a secret keeper, hell even the flea-bitten wolf would have been a better idea!" He looked up, hoping to find some sympathy. Oh Merlin was he wrong, if anything he seemed to have angered her even more since she'd barged into her office. Come to think of it...

"Petunia, how the bloody hell did you get to Hogwarts, does the old coot even know you're here? Half the wizarding world thinks you're buried six feet under!"