I'm up in the woods
I'm down on my mind, I'm building a still. To slow down the time.
Jensen felt cornered. He always did nowadays. He had been thrust into something he was not at all prepared for.
He was being analysed and probed in an unpleasant and rude way. He hadn't asked for anything like this. He had not signed on for six seasons of The Jared & Jensen Show! People had gotten the wrong idea; they'd got it all wrong and backwards.
Jensen was not the right guy to do this.
"Then I had some wine, or well, we had some wine…"
Jared spoke with a distressingly engaging voice. His eyes glistened more then they should and suddenly, Jensen didn't only feel cornered.
He felt suffocated.
It was too vulgar, his life too exposed. Jensen stood next to Jared on the large stage, trying to keep his act up for the hungry onlookers. Plastered smile on his face, but his mind vacant as Jared spoke. Jared fed on the audients reactions, taking in every cheer and every scream, massaging his own ego. The women were hungry, and they all came to these conventions for the same thing – to see Jensen being blatantly hit on by Jared.
There were cameras everywhere, zooming in on each of their faces. Catching Jared's flirty eyes and grin,
capturing Jensen's awkward smile and sweaty brow, for the entire world to see.
He had not signed up for this.
It wasn't fair to demand this of him, wasn't fair to be placed in this box.
The crowd's laughter woke Jensen form his silent brooding as Jared took one, two long steps across the stage towards him.
It happened so fast that Jensen didn't have time to react, one second Jared was standing on his side, the next he was bending over towards him, hands
clutching the sleeve of his shirt and wiping the sweat off his face with the soft cotton fabric. Jensen stood still, watching the odd display of affection. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary in Real Life, but here on stage in front of the Hungry Women they might as well have been making out for everyone to see.
The crowd went into frenzy and people threw themselves out of their seats, trying to get a better look at the boys. The room was so engulfed in camera flashes, that Jensen couldn't see his own hand in front of him. This was what was killing him, what was eating away at him at night. People would blow this out of proportion, manipulate the thousands of photos and spread more of the vile lies already floating the internet.
'Jared and Jensen are in love', 'Jared and Jensen lives together so they can have steamy gay sex every night'.
It didn't matter if the statements were true or false, it just bothered him that everyone twisted a simple handshake into a token of love, a hug couldn't be just 'a hug' between the boys, it had to be something deep and meaningful and sexual.
And Jensen just wasn't gay.
Back in Jared and Jensen's personal dressing room, the mood was low. The air felt sort of cramped, and Jensen many times found it hard to breathe in the presence of Jared after the conventions. It was like keeping the charming and cheerful smile Jared always offered the audient was taking its toll on him, making him tense and edgy in the evening. Jared wasn't an unhappy person, he wasn't the silent and brooding kind of guy that Jensen was, but he definitely wasn't as perky as the YouTube videos portrayed him to be.
"Long day..." Was Jared's short statement as he slumped down on the couch in the small lounge. The room was filled with racks of clothing for the boys to pick and choose from before they were to go on stage. They pretty much always stayed with their own regular clothing though. One of the walls was lined with mirrors and the one opposite with colourful paintings and drawings. Jensen silently paced back and forth in front of Jared, giving subtle nods to Jared's words.
He sure was tired, and it really had been a long day.
Finally Jensen plopped down on the beat up couch next to Jared, letting out a deep sigh that he hadn't known he was holding in. They were waiting for their driver to pick them up and take them home, but the car wouldn't be there for another hour or so. Jared placed his hand on Jensen's leg, sensing his exhaustion and stroking soothing circles around his kneecap. 'A friendly gesture' Jensen thought to himself, 'always count on Jared to be there for you'. Jensen looked over at Jared. They were sitting very close but not close enough for it to be awkward or out of order. Jared looked away from his lap and down at Jensen when he felt his eyes on him, and offered a weak smile as he lifted his hand from Jensen knee and placed it softly on the top of his head.
"You look beat up." Jared said as he lazily started massaging Jensen's scalp. Jensen relaxed his neck and closed his eyes, tilting his head slightly forward as Jared's giant hand caressed his aching head, and down his neck.
"Yeah well," Jensen began in a slur, "I've had better days."
Jared's hand travelled from Jensen's head down his neck, to slowly start rubbing his shoulders. Jensen let out a deep sigh, and tilted his head forward even further to give Jared more access between him and the couch. Not an unfamiliar scene between the boys, and Jensen was really glad that they were close enough as friends to be able to act like this in private. Jared lifted his hand off of Jensen and moved to the very corner of the couch away from Jensen, he then outstretched his arm towards Jensen and indicated for him to lie down.
"Come on." Were Jared's short words and Jensen slowly lied down on his back, bringing his head to rest on Jared's lap, putting his feet up on the couch. Jared's right hand came to rest softly on Jensen's stomach, as the other one started playing with his short hair. Jensen closed his eyes, relaxing into the loving touch. The room smelled faintly of sugary chocolate and marshmallows, or maybe that was just Jared? Jensen toed off his shoes on the opposite end of the couch, stretching out his legs and feet as he tilted his head towards Jared breathed in the sweet smell of his shirt.
Jared let out a small chuckle as he watched Jensen squirm and cuddle into his lap. His right hand stroking lazy circles on Jensen's chest, while his left one was smoothing Jensen's hair back. Jensen smiled softly and breathing into Jared's shirt, his warm breath tickling Jared's stomach as it seeped through the fabric. He chuckled again, and leaned slowly over Jensen's head, softly letting his lips caress the skin behind Jensen's ear.
Jensen's eyes flew open at that as his heart either missed or skipped a beat, he couldn't really tell because all he could focus on was Jared's pink sweet lips on his neck. He drew in a shaky breath, shutting his eyes closed as he felt Jared's tongue darting out, briefly licking his skin as if wanting to know what Jensen tastes like.
Jensen curled his fingers into the fabric of the sofa, his entire body tensing up, feeling Jared's hand on his chest leave trails of fire over his stomach and down to his hipbone when suddenly – his left thigh started vibrating. Or rather, his phone in the pocket of his jeans started ringing. Jensen quickly twisted his way out of Jared's grasp, standing up off of the couch and answering his phone.
Jared stared blankly into the air, not quite understanding what had just happened.
Jensen snapped his phone shut and clutched it hard in his sweaty hand.
"That was Paolo," Jensen blurted out, not daring to look at Jared. "he's outside of the building now, waiting in the car. We should probably get a move on…"
And just like that, Jensen grabbed his shoes, his bag and his jacket and headed out the door without looking back before Jared had even stood up from the couch.