Author's Note: Hello, fandom! I have missed you. So, this is my first iCarly fanfic, but I have written other stuff before. I saw iOMG and could not believe how perfect it was (for Seddie shippers ;-). Unfortunately, as much as I love the show, I have little faith in Dan Schneider fulfilling all my hopes and dreams with the follow up, so this fic was born. I really wanted to make this as authentic to the show as I could, especially while staying true to the characters. Takes place where iOMG left off, probably at least 3 chapters (still editing that bit). *As I said, this was written BEFORE I saw the promo for the actual follow-up episode, so there are no spoilers and is not canon-compliant.* Although, I may need to write a fic for the new promo as well. Happy reading, and I'd love to hear what you think!
Dedication: To my best friend Ellie. Well, you didn't help much with editing this one, love, but you keep me from doing violence to those around me. I owe you fic forever. Thanks for always pulling me out of the darkness. Want to collaborate on a fic sometime?
"Sorry." "It's cool."
She felt like this silence had stretched on for ages, him staring at her.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Sam bit out.
Freddie twitched but his eyes remained locked on her. "What exactly do you expect me to say?" he asked slowly.
"I don't know, just anything!" Her skin felt too tight, like she'd burst any second.
"Sam, you just—I mean, I don't even…" Freddie stumbled as all his thoughts fought to tumble out as one sentence. He let the sentiment trail into nothing as he continued staring.
Sam felt tension rise from her stomach into her throat as the silence engulfed them again. Freddie just stood there, blankly but for his stare. It was unbearable as the seconds ticked by, and more and more Sam felt the need to hit something.
It was the sudden horrifying, pricking heat behind her eyes that made her snap. "Forget this," she muttered before Sam shoved past Freddie and towards the door.
That seemed to startle Freddie out of his stupor. "Wait, what? Sam, just wai—," but the door was already closed.
Sam's flight was delayed only for an instant as she burst into the school and locked eyes with Carly. Carly's face was the picture of shock and betrayal, and Sam couldn't handle seeing the other mess she'd made in her life. Sam gave a barely audible, "I—," before giving up and fleeing down the hallway.
Carly felt frozen as she stared at the door to where Sam had disappeared. Completely at a loss, she made as though to follow her, but instead chose to focus on her only available outlet. She flung open the door to the courtyard and stormed outside. Freddie was sitting where Sam had sat, fidgeting and drumming his fingers.
"Where is she going?" Carly asked frantically.
"How am I supposed to know?" Freddie demanded, as if to himself. "It's not like Sam tells me anything, it's not like anyone tells me anything. Who can ever tell what's going on in her head when she's breaking your arm or stealing your shoes one minute and then she just goes and—without—and—"
"Freddie!"
His head snapped toward her. Carly seemed calmer with sympathy in the face of his panic.
"Are you okay?"
Freddie gulped and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and let it out slowly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just…" Freddie flung out his hands helplessly.
"Yeah. I know."
"I take it you saw?"
"Yup."
They struggled to put words to their chaotic thoughts. Carly was quickly regaining her frantic energy while Freddie seemed to sink into a tranquil state. "Apparently," Freddie said, too calm, "Sam is not in love with Brad."
Carly laughed once with a hint of hysteria. "No. No, I guess not."
"I take it you didn't know anything about…all this?"
"Of course not!" she snapped, panicking. "I'm only her best friend, why should I know?"
"Okay, sorry!" he said defensively. "I just don't know what to do, what's going on, any of it."
Carly tapped her foot furiously for a few moments longer before saying "Well, I'm going to find Sam. God only knows where she is, but nothing about this," she gestured to the air around them, "can be fixed without her and…we just need her here!" And she stomped off in a cloud of righteous fury. She barely registered Freddie's quiet " 'kay," as he stayed still.
He didn't know how long he continued to sit there, but Carly's words finally seemed to penetrate the fog in his head. Freddie knew Carly was right. Whatever else, one of them needed to find Sam. She didn't do well on her own. He stood up, full of purpose. He felt instinctively that he could find Sam first, as if he could sense the trail of the shared confusion she had left in her wake. Freddie yanked open the door and strode back into the building and down the hallway.
Ten minutes later he wasn't so sure, and was feeling absolutely ridiculous, wandering in loops through the mostly deserted hallways. "How on earth would I sense what direction she was going?" he mumbled disgustedly. "She'd laugh her face off at my pathetic 'instincts'—."
He was cut off when he was hit—hard—by another person running through the next intersection of hallways. Freddie hit the ground while the other person merely stumbled into a wall to quickly right themselves. "Watch it—," Freddie saw a flash of blonde curls and tried to reach out. "Sam?"
Her head jerked up, recognizing his voice. Her eyes were fearful, but she set her lips in a hard line. "Sorry," she mumbled before trying to back away.
"Hold it!" he shouted, awkwardly getting to his feet in his haste. "What the heck was that?"
She wasn't looking at him. "Geez, I didn't see you, alright? I said I was sorry." She attempted to dart around him, but he stepped in her path, frustrated.
"You know what I'm talking about!" He searched her face with confusion. "What is this, some kind of game to you?" She remained silent, staring at the floor. Freddie huffed a breath of disbelief. "You are so…insane," he exclaimed, and she flinched. "Seriously, the most messed up, confusing girl I've ever met!"
"Okay, you're right," she gritted out. "So how about you just get out of my way?"
Freddie continued as though he hadn't heard her. "After our entire friendship, after everything, how do you end up kissing me in the courtyard?"
"It's not like I was planning on it!" Sam snapped.
"How was that even an option at all?" he demanded.
"Because I was stupid enough to think you got me!" she shouted, finally looking at him. It only lasted a second or two before she looked away again. Sam seemed unable to leave, much as she wanted to. Freddie looked down and wondered when he had grabbed her wrist.
He released it, uncomfortable. "But—," he stumbled. The vehemence in her last statement had filled him, unaccountably, with guilt. As thought part of him agreed, maybe he should have gotten her, should have understood, "How—how can I get you when you're hating me and tormenting me one minute and kissing me the next? Why would you do that?" He struggled to regain his furious indignation of only seconds ago. His thoughts were quickly receding into the fog that had engulfed him after Sam had left the courtyard.
"Because I'm not like Carly or Valerie or those other girls," Sam answered tightly. "I don't want to be even if I could. If I kept picking on you, you…wouldn't think of me the same way as you did with them. You couldn't ignore me that way."
Freddie felt frozen, though his mind balked at the idea of being able to ignore Sam. "But, if you don't want me to ignore you, you can't just, you know, kiss someone and then walk away!"
Sam met his eyes. "Watch me," she said. And she shoved him, not as hard as usual, but combined with his shock it was enough to send him back to the ground. He recovered from the surprise enough to raise himself onto his elbows, but all he saw was a shadow accompanied by the sounds of Sam's sneakers running down the deserted hallway.
Freddie groaned and laid his head back against the linoleum. The cool surface felt good against his skull, and that was a small comfort as he tried to untangle the mess his life had become.