I Saw You
Arthur Pendragon is – and always shall be – a proud man. He doesn't grovel, or beg. He stands his ground and sticks by his decisions; which is why his father cut him off from his trust fund nine months ago. Since then, he's been living with his closest friend and confidant Guinevere. Morgana had invited him to stay with her, but he knew that she would only make fun of him for each and every one of his decisions so that was out of the question.
Which leads him to where he is now; riding the subway to get home. He's done it countless times before. He does it by habit now; muscle memory. Every morning he gets up at five a.m. to go for a jog around the city. After he finishes, he takes a shower before getting dressed in his uniform and heads out to his job at Avalon Café. After working from seven a.m. to three p.m. he heads over to the library to volunteer for an hour – Gwen said it'd be good for his resume and he's not going to argue with a girl making nineteen dollars an hour – before heading to the market. He picks up whatever Gwen has on the list that morning – she is usually asleep when he leaves for work – and finally heads home around six p.m.
Usually when on the subway, he puts one headphone in and listens to music until his stop comes up but today he'd forgotten his iPod at home in his rush not to be late. So he's people watching today, something Gwen finds hilarious for some reason, and tries to read them. Usually, he's rather good; he can tell a happy person from an unhappy one, or a single person from a taken one. Today, however, his skills seem to be failing him.
The boy standing to his left is dressed in a dark green button up plaid shirt with a light grey suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up. He's wearing dark wash tight pants over bright red high top Converse and thick framed glasses. He has shaggy dark hair and stormy blue eyes that are focused intently on the book in his hands. In his left hand sits a thick novel and in his right rests a takeout bag full of Styrofoam boxes. It's hardly crowded, and plenty of seats are available, but the boy – he can't be older than twenty five really – seems to ignore that fact. Like he's used to standing – like he's used to being on his feet for hours a day. But he seems relaxed, like he doesn't have a care in the world.
And that irks Arthur beyond belief. Since his father had cut him off, his life has been nothing but misfortune and accidents. His only breaks so far had been moving in with Gwen and finding his waiting job at Avalon Café. Life, it seemed, was out to get him; be it rude customers, crazy drivers, people who hate his father – even though his father publicly disowned him on television - or even just stray animals. He makes too little cash and his bills ask for too much. Living with Gwen he at least doesn't have to worry about rent.
The boy – man – next to him is in the beginning of his book, but Arthur can't tell what book he's reading. Sticking his left hand in his pocket, he contemplates talking to this boy. Right as he opens his mouth to introduce himself, the train pulls to a stop and the dark haired man walks forward without looking up from his book. He manages to navigate his way through all of the people getting off without bumping into a single one of them; something Arthur can't do paying attention. The doors almost close on him, but he manages to get through before the train takes off.
He heads out of the subway station and starts his not-so-long walk home. He's got Gwen's salad material-and god is he tired of eating like a rabbit-in the plastic bag hanging from his right hand when he notices the dark haired boy walking ahead of him, face still buried in his book. Arthur decides not to try and talk to him again, but picks up his pace anyway.
He's surprised when the dark haired boy enters his apartment building. They both enter the elevator and Arthur tries to remember the man next to him. Arthur draws a blank so he figures he must be the new neighbor Gwen had geeked out about the night before.
"Excuse me," Arthur tries to get his attention, but the darker haired man is too absorbed in his book.
The blonde notices he's almost finished with his novel, even though he'd been at the beginning on the train not half an hour ago and it was no insignificant book.
"Hello?" He tried again but gets the same results.
The blonde doesn't know why he wants to talk to him so badly, but he does. Like something inside him wants desperately to talk to him. A small jingle rings out into the elevator as they stop on a floor to let someone on. The guy jumps when his phone rings and pulls out headphones Arthur hadn't seen. He closes his book, manages to get the book and his groceries in one hand while the other digs in his pocket for what looks to be an ancient Nokia phone.
"Hey, what's up?" He smiles, looks up at the glowing elevator numbers, and Arthur thinks he must be talking to either a close friend or a significant other.
"Lancelot, I'm literally in the elevator on my way up, you can survive two more minutes for the take out I bought." His words are scathing, but they are meant in a joking manner.
Arthur reaches his floor and is surprised to see an attractive man waiting on the other side of the door with a phone to his ear and a smile on his face. Objectively, Arthur can concede he's a very attractive man, with tan skin and a strong jawline.
"There you are, you gorgeous thing you!" The mans' smile widens and he surges forward.
Arthur would have been freaked out if not for the fact that he practically steals the food out of the stunned dark man's hands. That seems to get the man next to him moving as the darker skinned one takes of down the hall.
"Hey! Get back here!" The man from the subway chases after the brunet.
The elevator doors almost close on Arthur as he exits, but he's too busy staring at the two men as they banter back and forth and enter the previously empty apartment across from his and Gwen's. The two disappear into their apartment and Arthur can kind of still hear their playful banter. He'd claim to be jealous because Gwen is his only remaining friend after he'd come out and she didn't like to horse around like guys do. But then again most guys are intimidated – or that's what Morgana told him – by gay men. He enters his own apartment and calls out for Gwen. She comes out of her room with a smile on her face.
"What's got you in a good mood?"
"Two cute guys moved in next door."
"Oh, yeah. I saw them on my way up."
"What did you think?"
"About?"
"About my thesis paper." She gives him a look that screams 'don't play dumb', "The guys next door!"
"They're both fairly attractive." He shrugs as she sets out to make dinner and that ends their conversation; i.e. she's going to talk the rest of the night until he leaves.
And that night, as he's going to bed, he dreams about dragons and magic. Which isn't too unusual, but lately he'd been passing out from exhaustion and not having any time to dream.
The next day, he sees the dark haired man from the subway everywhere. He sees him riding the subway – to and from work. He sees him walking down the street when he goes for his runs. He sees him in the store while he's buying for Gwen and himself. He sees him at Avalon café, but he's either getting there as Arthur is leaving or leaving as Arthur is starting his shift. And there's always one thing in common when he sees him; he's always listening to his music and reading a book. And it's always a different book. The blonde doesn't think he's ever seen him reading the same book.
It's his Friday – which is actually Thursday, but he doesn't have to work for another two days, so technicalities – and he's lying on the couch when Gwen comes in bouncing on her feet. He lays there for a bit longer, hoping she'll leave him alone and the couch will swallow him into a timeless abyss.
"Arthur, get up. Get dressed; we're having dinner at a friends'!" Arthur groans.
The last time she'd said that she'd tricked him into eating at Morgana's.
"I'm good, Gwen." He grabs the folded blanket off the back of the couch and lays it over his head, hoping it'll dissuade her.
"Oh, don't be like that, Lancelot invited us both and I don't want to eat with two guys I don't know by myself. Come on I need my prince in shining armor!"
"It's knight."
"You're too arrogant to be a knight, Arthur." He'd glare at her if he could see her.
"I don't want to. I want to lay here and let the couch swallow me."
"Oh come on, that cute guy with the dark hair and pale skin will be there." She sings.
"I'm good."
She sighs before sitting on top of him, "Lancelot said they'll be serving meat."
"Why didn't you open with that?" He moves the blanket and lets it fall onto the floor, glaring at her, "What time do we have to be there?"
"Seven."
Arthur glances at the clock that glares six fifty five at him.
"You couldn't have given me more time?"
"You would have bailed." She shrugs, unrepentant.
He sighs and pushes himself up off the couch, still tired. He watches as Gwen changes her outfit three times before going with a beige top, jeans and fancy flip flops.
"Aren't you going to change?" She asks him.
"I look good." He motions to his own work uniform which consisted of an informal button down red shirt, black slacks and black converse.
"Whatever, lets' go." They exit their apartment and see Lancelot walking down the hall towards them, looking sheepish.
"Hey! Glad I caught you! Um, see the thing is…Merlin doesn't know I invited you over."
"What kind of name is Merlin?" Arthur laughs.
"Yeah, because Arthur is so great." Gwen glares at him.
"It's just, he doesn't like meeting new people and if I told him I'd invited you over he would have bailed."
"Smart guy." Arthur mutters before Gwen hits him in the stomach, trying to get him to shut up.
"So, yeah, he might freak out, a bit. Just a warning." Lancelot leads them into his apartment.
The second the door opens, Arthur can hear faint music playing. Once they walk into the living area, he discovers Merlin – the guy from the subway – dancing around with his headphones on. Arthur thinks he recognizes the song, but he's not sure. Merlin doesn't seem to realize they're there as he dances – quite well, actually – on the couch.
Lancelot smiles and grabs one of the cushions from the recliner and tosses it at Merlin. It happens in slow motion for Arthur. First; Merlin turns to them, realizes they're there, and that a pillow is flying at him. Next; Merlin looks at Arthur – and Arthur could swear Merlin's eyes were gold for a second – and the pillow makes contact. Third; Merlin goes crashing over the back of the couch, taking almost everything in the vicinity down with him.
Arthur feels like he's seen those eyes before.
Things return to normal speed and Gwen cries out "Oh my god!"
There's a scramble before the man behind the couch calls out, "I'm okay!"
Arthur burst out laughing with Lancelot. Merlin's legs are halfway over the couch and lying at odd angles. Gwen glares at them and rushes over to help the pale man.
"Are you hurt?" She asks, in mother hen mode.
"I'm fine, thank you." Merlin stands, looking flushed but unscathed.
"Are you sure?" she asks, dusting him off.
"Yeah, I uh," He glances at Arthur quickly before looking away, "I'll just leave you guys alone." He climbs over the couch and goes to dash into the back of the apartment, but Lancelot grabs him and throws him over his shoulder.
"Oh, come on, Merlin. I got Italian!"
"I hate Italian." Merlin mopes, but to Arthur it sounds like he's lying.
"Liar!" Lancelot sings.
Gwen laughs and starts unloading their meal while Arthur stands in the doorway feeling – for all intents and purposes – like a third wheel. Well, fourth. An unwanted gear. There we go, that's a better metaphor. Simile?
Gwen motions for him to come over, so he does. He ends up sitting across from Merlin who looks like he wants to disappear and next to Gwen – who is ignoring him for shamelessly flirting with Lancelot – who is returning her enthusiasm.
Their Italian food – which doesn't have nearly enough meat in it to make this worthwhile – is mediocre at best. He feels bored out of his mind and from the looks of things, so does Merlin across from him. He thinks this might be the most boring dinner he's ever attended; and he had to sit through his fathers' company dinners with crusty old men on a regular basis before coming out.
He leans forward and whispers in a falsely conspirators voice, "Is this as boring for you as it is for me?"
Merlin looks up and smiles at him, "Oh god, yes." He whispers back, picking himself up from his slouching position.
"It's painful watching them flirt." He jerks his head over to Gwen and Lancelot who are still absorbed in each other.
"I know. I've seen dogs who flirt better." Lancelot hits Merlin in the arm.
"We can hear you."
"Really? With all that eye fucking I was beginning to think maybe you'd been lost for the rest of the night." Merlin darts up, out of his chair as Lancelot tries to hit him again.
Arthur glances over to Gwen, who is hiding her face in her hands, "Merlin, I don't think they were eye fucking."
"No?" He looks up to see Merlin dodging Lancelot, who's gotten out of his seat to swat at the lighter skinned of the two.
He thinks about his dreams, where he's not alone and everyone is having a great time.
"No, I think they were eye making love!" He jumps up as Gwen goes to swat him like Lancelot had done to Merlin.
"So, not that this dinner was unpleasant – which it was – I am going now." Arthur grabs his jacket off the back of his chair.
"Me, too. You two have fun." Merlin throws his jacket on and makes his way towards the door.
Arthur follows, throwing "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" at his best friend.
"That's not exactly setting any restrictions!" Gwen calls as they shut the door.
"That's like, what, mini golf and sushi?" Merlin smiles a devilish smile and he makes his way down the hall.
"I cannot believe you just referenced Fright Night." Arthur laughs, following the darker haired man.
"Fright Night was amazing." Merlin walks backwards with his hands in his pockets, smiling at Arthur.
He stops right in front of the elevator and pushes the button without looking. When the elevator arrives, Arthur thinks about going back to his apartment and sleeping, but suddenly it's like he has all the energy in the world. He follows Merlin into the elevator and they stand facing opposite walls but looking at each other, smiles on their faces.
"Why don't you go back to your apartment?"
"Wouldn't want to risk running into Gwen any time soon. And I feel like going for a walk, suddenly."
"Oh, just, crazy, random happenstance?"
"Yeah, you ever get those?"
Merlin smiles at him with a charming smile, "All the time."
The elevator dings and Arthur turns and walks out with Merlin by his side.
"Would you like to join me?"
"It would be my pleasure."
They make their way down the streets one by one in what starts off as a companionable silence, but quickly grows into an uncomfortable one as Arthur realizes he knows nothing about Merlin.
"So."
"So?"
"Books, huh?"
"What?"
"You like reading?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?" Merlin looks at him suspiciously, "Are you stalking me?"
"No. I, uh, I saw you on the subway a few days ago reading a book."
"Oh. Yeah. Books are great. Doorways into other worlds and all that."
"You read pretty fast, too."
"Okay, how do you know that?"
"When we got on the subway you were just starting and when we got in the elevator you were practically done. That's a forty minute trip, tops."
"Hah, yeah. It's easy when you've got an eidetic memory."
"That's impressive."
Merlin makes a face that makes Arthur think it's not as great as it sounds.
"You remember everything."
"Then that sucks and I'm sorry."
"No! No! It's not your fault. I…uh I need to learn to shut my mouth. My entire life and I still can't kick that habit."
"Open mouth insert foot?"
"Essentially, yeah."
"Okay. New subject. How do you know Lancelot?"
"Uh…" Merlin rubs the back of his head. "I 'saved' him. A while back. We met in Calgary."
"That's vague and immensely interesting at the same time. Tell me more."
"How do you know Gwen?" Merlin asks instead.
"We grew up together. She's my best friend. Well, my only friend, really."
"You don't have friends?" Arthur rubs the back of his head.
"Not since I came out, no."
"That sucks. I've never really stayed in one place long enough to acquire friends. Lancelot's the first in a while."
"Why not?" Arthur is shocked that Merlin just moves on from the fact that he's gay. Shocked, but grateful.
"Uh, everyone leave eventually." Merlin looks down and his eyes scream of sadness.
Arthur is shocked that he's willing to give this information so willingly. That this veritable stranger would trust him. But then he thinks about it, it feels like he knows Merlin. Like he's known his since childhood. Like he knows Merlin more implicitly than he knows Gwen. And he realizes he trusts Merlin, too.
He can see himself going anywhere for Merlin and he knows he should be scared of that, but he's not. He's more comfortable with the idea of trusting Merlin than he is of the idea of trusting Morgana.
"I had a friend named Arthur once." Merlin doesn't look at him.
"What happened?"
"He died a while back." Merlin smiles, but it's sarcastic and bitter. "He died for his friends. He died in my arms. And why am I telling you this?" Arthur stops walking and he feels like he's missing a key element.
And he knows what the element is, but he can't think of it. Like when he knows he's forgotten something but can't remember what. It's on the tip of his tongue and niggling at the back of his mind when Merlin stops and looks at him.
"Arthur?"
And like a damn breaking, he gets it. He knows what he's missing. He knows why he's felt so out of place all his life. He knows why nothing felt like it was supposed to exist.
He strides forward, confidant and sure of himself in a way he never really has been. "You're an idiot." He remarks before kissing the slightly shorter man. When he pulls back, merlin looks more confused than he's ever seen him.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because; I wanted to, Merlin."
Merlin smiles and Arthur knows he's caught on. He's glad he finally found his sorcerer.