Disclaimer – I do not own CBS, CSI the franchise or any of the characters portrayed in the TV shows, I just like to borrow them for my stories. I do not make any money out of my stories and no infringement is intended on my part. So please do not sue me for writing CSI/GSR stories for all the eager readers out there who enjoy fan fiction. Nor do I own Westlife, the song 'Home' or the lyrics to it.
A/N This is a follow up to the songfic 'I'll be coming home; wait for me, that I wrote a little while ago, but can stand alone as a one off piece. The lyrics are from the Westlife song 'Home' that I love hearing when it is on the radio. I thought the lyrics were quite appropriate to the current situation of the relationship between Grissom and Sara to use as a new songfic, so here goes. I hope you all take the opportunity to listen to the song at some point, it really is very GSR. Story not beta'd, so please excuse any mistakes I have made. Please R&R Enjoy!
I've got to go home
"Hello, Atlantic airlines ticket service. How can I help you" a woman's voice sounded over the hotel phone line.
"Yes!, I would like to book a ticket for the first available flight out tomorrow from San Francisco direct to Las Vegas please" Sara cheerfully informed the ticket clerk.
"Please could you just hold the line for a short time, while I take a look at all the available seats on flights out to Las Vegas for you" the very polite tickets sales attendant asked.
"Yes, okay" Sara replied, then she heard a click as some music was played over the telephone connection line.
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmm..
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you My words were cold and flat
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
And you deserve more than that
She listened to the lyrics of the song being played over the connection and realized quickly how much they appropriately applied to herself.
There had been some regular contact between her and Gil over the last twelve weeks she had been in California, they had spoken on the telephone, exchanged letters by post and sent e-mail messages to each other, but the letter she had left for him at the lab, the night she had left Las Vegas still troubled her somewhat.
The first few conversations and correspondences between the couple had been very tentative and fragile, both desperately wanting to say more than they dared to, but not doing so, afraid to upset or push the other too much, but at the same time wanting to maintain their usual intimacy.
Gradually over a period of time they had both reopened up to each other, voicing their unspoken questions, issues and feelings to one another, regaining their comfortable ease with each other again.
Even a little humour had also been infused in to some of their conversations, at times when either of the two had felt that the other was having a hard day, and needed cheering up.
Unwavering love, complete understanding, gentle reassurance and stoic support was always offered to each other in subtle ways, so as not make the other feel guilty, or want to throw caution to the wind and have one of them plead for the others immediate physical contact, and ruin the purpose of their temporary separation.
The click sounded again on the line and the music stopped for the woman to start speaking again "Sorry to keep you waiting madam. We have seats available on two flights flying direct from here to Las Vegas tomorrow. One flight is at eight fifty am in the morning and the other is scheduled to depart at five pm. Would any of these be suitable for you?" The woman said cheerfully at being able to offer her assistance.
Thinking briefly for a few seconds she decided on the later flight "Yes, could you book me a seat for the five pm flight please" Sara replied happily, knowing that she would have plenty of time to go and see her Mother and take care of any last minute arrangements.
"Okay that should be fine. What type of ticked do you require? return, open ended or one way only" the ticket attendant asked while she typed at her computer terminal.
"One way" Sara said smiling widely at the happy thought of finally going home, to the only home she had ever felt like she'd had in her life.
"Could you give me your details please madam to enter into the system, so I can arrange for you to collect your ticket at the Atlantic airlines desk tomorrow?"
Sara relayed her details over the phone line along with her credit card number to pay for the ticket.
"Thank you for deciding to fly with Atlantic airlines Miss Sidle, your ticket should be ready for collection from twelve noon onwards. I hope you enjoy your flight"
"Thank you for being so helpful" Sara said satisfied with the cheerful and helpful woman.
"All part of the service. Have a good day" the woman replied happily.
"Bye" Sara said happily ending the call and replacing the hotel phone handset, to then just rest her hand there for a few moments, as she smiled softly thinking of Gil at home waiting patiently for her to return to him.
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just to far from where you are
I've got to come home
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I wanna come home
Turning around slowly and scanning the room that had become yet another temporary home for her over the last three months, a strong satisfying feeling of finally seeing an ending to a very long and painful journey she had travelled, washed over her.
She'd relived all the extreme emotions her body was ever capable of feeling, the tormenting images that frequently flashed in her daily conciousness, the regular horrific sounds and touch of flesh coming in contact with flesh violently, and the hateful dialogue spoken by her Father, invading her many disturbed dreams.
The lingering metallic smell of iron in the humid air, as he bled out quickly in front of her very young and naïve eyes, the taste of her own blood and tears, mixed together with the fear of witnessing the traumatic event, as it came to it's final and fatal climax.
Last but by no means the least, the cold and numbing pain emanating within her physical and mental being, as the total strangers examined, tested, took photo's and questioned her with their pitiful looks upon their faces, as they went about their daily tasks.
All of those memories that had assaulted her five senses that terrible night, her brain had decided to cruelly store them in both her conscious and unconscious mind for the future, to be revisited day after day. So there had been no previous escape from them as they marred her miserable childhood, and adult life until now.
As she had spoke at length with her Mother on numerous visits to see her, about the night of the death of her Father, she had gradually been able to overcome those ghosts that had taken over her life in Las Vegas.
And upon the eventual realization that she would never be truly free of the ghosts that haunted her past, the answers that she had received in the long talks with her Mother, enabled her to be able to move past them towards a more happier future.
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
As she contemplated her next move, she sighed heavily when she spotted her cellphone that had been gathering dust on the night stand, it had not been switched on since she had turned it off in the taxi as she left Las Vegas in turmoil, all her calls to Gil had been undertaken with the hotel phone.
Picking it up,then flipping it open and pressing the button to switch it on, she watched as the screen loaded up and signalled that she had fifteen text messages and over forty voice mail messages.
Sighing heavily at the thought of her pseudo family leaving all the messages for her, wanting to ask her where she was? how she was doing? why she had left? was she ever coming back? "Need to deal with this back in Vegas" she quietly said to herself contemplative.
Shaking her head quickly to end her current thoughts, she pressing speed dial 3 then put cellphone to her ear, listening for a connection.
"Brass" The quick and usual professional answer came over the line.
A couple of seconds passed before she gained the courage to speak "Jim" was all she could muster as a lump started to form in her throat at hearing his voice.
"Heyyyy there, long time no speak" Jim said a little muffled as it sounded like he was moving around.
"Are you at a crime scene Jim?" she asked timidly thinking that she had disrupted his working day.
"Yeah, just give me a sec" he said as a muffled "I'm just gonna take this call outside guys" came over the connection.
"Hey Sara, I'm clear of the scene now, Gil and Catherine are working it. How are you?" he asked with a smile obvious in his voice.
"Good. Actually the best I've felt in a long time" Sara replied confidently.
"You sound good. What can I do for you Sara?" he asked sincerely.
"I'm coming home tomorrow Jim and I need a lift from the airport, any chance you could pick me up" she asked hopefully as the plan for her return formed in her mind.
"Coming home? Does Gil know?" he asked tentatively, as he quickly looked around to make sure he was out of ear shot of anyone listening to him. He wasn't sure of the state of play with their relationship.
"No. I'm gonna surprise him if you can help me out a little" she said happily.
Relieved that the couple still obviously had some kind of relationship he said "Not a problem. So you want me to pick you up at the airport. Do you need me to make sure he's at home for when your due back?" he asked offering his help to her.
"Yeah, that would be good, if you could do that for me Jim" she said smiling widely as the excitement of their secret plan took shape.
"Anything for you" he chuckled then added "I may need to enlist help from Catherine to keep Gil at home, you got a problem with that?"
"Not at all, so long as Gil and I get private time when I get back" she said chuckling.
They carried on talking for another ten minutes, relaying details and such, then said their goodbyes until tomorrow.
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
I miss you, you know
She spent the evening packing what little possessions she had with her, tidying the room so the maids wouldn't find it too messy, she ate a take out dinner in her room and got an early night, ready for the emotional goodbye to her mother, and the last leg of her journey home to her one and only.
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
The chorus to the song that had played over the telephone line earlier in the day played over on repeat in her mind, as she hummed the tune to herself and gradually fell to sleep, feeling very optimistic for the first time in months.
tbc
A/N If I get a good enough response to this, I will write maybe two more chapters that will cover her last day in San Francisco and her finally reconnecting with Gil again. They will both contain songs that are appropriate to the situation.
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