I scowl, storming away from the house. Why did mom have to drag me away to this stupid little town. What was it called anyway? Knives? No... Spoons? No, that's just silly. Wait, what is that? I turn around to see what looks like a vampire trying to climb in the window of a house. Wait, climbing in the window? How can it do that? The sun finally comes out from behind a cloud and... O God, it SPARKLES?! What is it? I decide that whatever the weird sparklepire thing is, a stake embedded in it's stomach can't hurt. I sprint towards it. Thunk! The reassuring sound of stake hitting vampire. (Or weird sparklepire thing.) I guess I'll ask Giles what it is when I get back.
"What did you do to my boyfriend?!" A sobbing girl is yelling at me from the window above. Wait, boyfriend? I sprint away before she can do anything.
1 hour later...
And then the hate mail starts arriving.
I find it disturbing that the letters cursing me to a variety of horrible ends are written in purple ink and every i is neatly dotted with a little heart