Okay, so, its 12 am and I just suddenly got this "inspiration wave" and had to write, so, here we go!
Disclaimer: I don't know twilight or any of its characters!
It's been 4 years since he left, he never came back. All the time he was here, he made me feel loved, like I was a princess in a fairytale. Even for some time after he left, I still believed, deep, deep down, that he would come back, after all, princes always return to the damsel in distress, didn't they? The only problem was that after all this time, there are still no signs of him and I'm dying, literally. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor 1 and half years ago. There were choices, of course, to help save my life, but I didn't want to take them. All these past years, I've been living depressed; therefore, I saw this as a way to escape my constant, irreplaceable pain. What was the meaning to life if there was no-one left to care about me? You may say Charlie, well; he died 2 years ago at work, shot by a bank robber. And well, sincerely, something happened to Renee, soon after Charlie died, I had no option but to go back to Florida. Since I got back, I noticed things were different; it was like Renee didn't really want me in there. That feeling was confirmed when 5 months after my arrival, she kicked me out.
I was lucky. Lucky enough to get a scholarship at Harvard, from where I got out with 3 masters degrees: one in English Literature, one in Latin, and one in psychology. Now, I was 22 years old, with only 1 week left to live.
I felt like I owed the ones I loved a goodbye. Over the years, I came to the realization, putting together the pieces, that Edward did love me. The clues, or proofs, of it were everywhere. First, all of my things, the presents given to me by the Cullen's in my birthday, were under my floorboards along with a note from him, telling me the words which probably stopped me from killing myself: "Bella, love sorry for all the lies, my heart is and will always be, yours. Love, Edward". Plus, all the time we were together he would constantly tell me his deep love for me, so, after looking into his mesmerizing golden eyes at that time, how could I not believe him? This is the main reason why I decided to write him a goodbye letter, telling him I understood him and loved him with all my heart. I grabbed a pen and begun writing.
"Dear Edward,
I hope you know that my heart will always be yours and yours only. Knowing you, probably you are spending your time blaming yourself about what happened during my birthday party. I just want you to know that it wasn't your fault so stop being so harsh on yourself. About Jasper, please don't be too hard on him; I know he's a great person who would never hurt me purposely.
There were many reasons why I wrote you this letter. The main reason is to tell thank you. Thank you for being the reason of my existence, thank you for being my first love, thank you for teaching me to live, for showing me that love can be something worth doing anything.
Please tell Alice I love her and no matter what her decisions where when you all left, she'll always be my best friend.
To Emmett, tell him he's the funniest guy I've ever and will ever meet. Rosalie, even though I may not know the reason for your deep hatred towards me, I respect your decisions and will never judge them.
Jasper, I was never quite close to you, but I was close enough to know you are a great, playful guy who doesn't have it in him to harm anyone therefore, I ask you to don't judge yourself too hard on what happened in my birthday.
Carlisle, oh my God, I can't even begin to thank you for all the times you had to treat me thanks to my clumsiness. You were always like a father to me.
Esme, thank you for being my motherly support when something came up and my mother was just too far away.
Once again, Edward I love you and I deeply thank you for given such beautiful memories to happily die with. Please know my heart will always be yours.
Love you for all eternity and beyond,
Your Bella. "
I read it, then, sealed it in an envelope, ready to be read by him whenever he felt like it.
Ouch.
Another headache. The throbbing in my head would now barely stop; it felt horrible, knowing I was slowly dying without having had the opportunity to say him goodbye in person.
I was currently staying in my dad's old house. I had been living in Miami, but for my last months of life, I decided to come back here, my birthplace and where my heart still laid. In other words: come back to the core of my being.
What was that sound?
Okay, I swear I am not crazy, I did hear something.
Oh! There it is again! It'd some sort of harsh, dry sob. In my weak state I got up and walked to the window. As I looked down the window, I couldn't believe what I saw, there, curled into a tight ball (dry sobbing), was my one love: Edward Cullen. The rain was falling very hard, but that didn't make him go away. With my little strength, I opened the window.
"Edward!"
He looked up at me. First thing I saw were his black eyes.
"Bella."
"Edward what the hell do you think you are doing? Come back here, for God's sake you are getting all wet!"
He said no more, instead just climbed up by the tree like he always used to.
As soon as he came in he embraced me. I was surprised and when he saw I didn't respond he pulled back.
"I am sorry Bella; I suppose that with all I've made go through, you wouldn't want to see me. I guess I shouldn't have come."
"Wait! What makes you think that? Please, stay." He looked hesitant, but obeyed my plead. As he turned around, this gave him the opportunity to take a better look at me. Now, boy did I know I looked bad and weak now-a-days. I was pale, so pale that if it wasn't for my thin and weak looking shape, I would have easily passed for as a vampire. When he looked at me, I immediately knew what he thought: that it was his fault.
"Bella, why are you this why? Why do you look like this?" I really didn't know how to put it into words that wouldn't make him go nuts. When he saw my hesitancy to respond, he mis-interpreted it.
"I knew it was my fault."
"Would you please stop?"
"Stop what exactly? Please Bella, look at yourself, you are pale, weak and thin; do you really expect me to go laughing about when I know you look like this because of my fault?"
"Well, I certainly don't expect you to start laughing and jumping, but my condition has nothing to do with you."
He looked at me, confusion written all over his face. By now he was sitting down on the floor, leaning against the wall. I walked over to him, and sat down next to him.
"Edward, why did you leave in the first place?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you leave me, 4 years ago?"
"Because I had to protect you, from my kind. Bella, love you need to understand, I never stopped loving you, that day I say the biggest lie of my entire existence."
"I know that. "
"What do you mean, 'you know that'? "
"Edward, you always told me you loved me; my conscious stopped believing you loved me, but my sub-conscious always knew you never stopped loving me."
"Can I kiss you?" okay, I'm going to be honest, I was caught off ward.
"Ummm…Sure." He leaned in, kissing me in such a way I swear I've never been kissed before. After I was left breathless, he pulled back and put his ear where my heart was.
"Why are you in such a weak state love?"
"I don't know if I have it in me to tell you, I know it's only going to make you suffer."
"Why?"
"Edward, I have brain cancer, I only have about 1 week left of life." Then I looked up into his deep black eyes. I know I will never see such pain as I saw reflected in his eyes.
He grabbed me. He grabbed me and hugged me, sobbing hard into my chest. Ironic, I was the one dying; yet, I was comforting him, telling everything was okay.
"Please, Bella stop saying it is okay, because it is not. I just have you back, only to find out you're about to be taken away in a matter of days!"
I really didn't know what to say. He remained silent,
"Bella, do you love me?"
"Yes! What kind of question is that? Of course I do!"
"Are you willing to spend the rest of eternity with me?"
"I don't really get to where you're leading this, but yes."
"That's all I need."
As soon as he said this, I felt his cold lips at the base of my throat and my last thoughts as a human were: never say goodbye.