This oneshot is something that was born completely from my boredom and too much free time. It gets very random. Enjoy :)
Ulquiorra is Confused
The object was thin and black, with a tiny, dull point. It was light, and the dulled end left marks on his skin that he could not wipe away. Was it some form of a plaque? Or perhaps a device that poisoned the user? Or maybe...
"That's... that's a pen, Ulquiorra." Ichigo said tiredly, his face resting on the palm of his hand. Scattered around the former Espada was the most random array of items, from a bubble wand to a bowl of watermelon. The war with Aizen was over- most of the arrancar had either been killed or retreated into Hueco Mundo, which had been sealed up by the joined forces of the captains and lieutenants. All the arrancar, minus one. It had taken much persuading and time, but Urahara had managed to hold onto one last arrancar for information and further studies. The arrancar himself had not objected, he did not care. Now that Aizen was defeated, what other choice did he have but to do as he was told?
Ulquiorra set the pen down and held up a toothpick with a cube of watermelon on it.
"Am I supposed to eat this?" He inquired. Ichigo sighed exasperatedly.
"Well you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. It's a fruit." He explained. Ever since Ulquiorra had started residing in the human world, he had been strangely interested by everything, like a little kid. Unfortunately for Ichigo, he was deemed the task of explaining everything to the clueless arrancar.
Ulquiorra set the fruit down and turned to Ichigo, staring at him with those solemn green eyes.
"I wish to eat a jello cup." Ulquiorra commanded Ichigo, who grudgingly got up to do as he was told. Another strange quirk about the green- eyed arrancar, he had a strong liking to jello cups, eating one nearly every day. Orihime had thought it was funny and almost cute the way he ate the jiggly food with his usual serious expression.
Ichigo handed him the cup and a spoon. Ulquiorra peeled back the lid and scooped the top up with the spoon. He ate it, chewed, then swallowed and did the procedure three or four more times until the cup was empty.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, I have finished." He stated in his monotone voice, holding the cup with the spoon in it out to the other.
"Wow, gee whiz." Ichigo muttered and tossed the spoon into the sink, and the cup into the trash.
"Are you annoyed by my presence?" Ulquiorra asked bluntly. Ichigo blinked, mouth slightly ajar.
"Er, no, it's just that, you know." Ichigo fidgeted, trying to put what he was thinking into words as nicely as possible.
"Just what?" Green orbs stared into his soul. It was unnerving.
"Just... you don't know a lot." He said lamely.
Ulquiorra closed his eyes, and for a second Ichigo thought he was going to cry or something. When he opened them, he reached over to take hold of the bubble bottle, how it worked already been explained to him.
Ichigo watched cautiously as the green- eyed man unscrewed the cap and took out the wand. Bubbles flew into Ichigo's face, the soapy spheres popping all over.
"Ehhh..." He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. It was like dealing with an emotionless three year old when it came to Ulquiorra.
"Ichigo Kurosaki," Ulquiorra said quietly, staring out of the window, "I would like to inform you that I enjoy eating jello cups." He closed his eyes, and to someone unfamiliar to him, it looked as if the green lines were tear streaks.
"Jello cups make me happy..." He whispered off to the distance.
A/N: Well there ya go. :| I really don't know what to think of this, I'm probably going to go take a nap to sleep off the weirdness. Thanks for reading.