Before we begin, just a few quick announcements,
1) The idea from this story originated from a one shot in my other story The Glory of Love (Chapter 3, And Let Your Poor Heart Break a Little). It is not required that you read that before this as only the basic ideas are really the same. This story got most of its inspiration from the songs The Mess I Made by Parachute and So Close by Jon MacLauchlan.
2) This is not going to be a happy Densi story. Now, I am a die hard Densi lover, but I enjoy writing the sadder stuff because it's not something a lot of writers really explore (no I am not emotionally unstable, just an interested writer).
3) This is really two stories in one. The normal text will make up the bulk of the story, but each chapter will end with a flashback for backstory written in italics.
4) Updating will happen one a week on Monday, unless some massively drastic unforeseen circumstances occur to prevent such an occurrence (I'm looking at you writers block, so you better stay as far away as possible).
5) Lastly, while there will be no extremely explicit language or graphic sex scenes (cause I can't write that for anything), there will be some bits of language and at least one sex scene. I'll let you know when it happens the chapter before so you can decide how you want to proceed.
Now that that's out of the way, please enjoy the story.
The alarm beeped, causing Kensi to swing her arm wildly in an attempt to shut it off.
"Ugh, please don't tell me it's time to get up." The body next to her groaned.
Kensi grinned and rolled over to give her husband a proper good morning kiss.
"Mmm, who are you and what are you doing in my bed?" He grinned as she lay on top of him, resting her head on her hands.
"How'd you sleep?" She asked.
"With you next to me? I slept like a baby." He yawned and brushed her hair back. "I missed you."
"Then don't go to DC."
"Part of the job." He sighed.
"Yeah, I know." She rolled off of him and started to get out of bed.
"Oh no you don't." He said as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down onto the bed, laughing as he wrapped his arms around her.
"Hank stop!" She laughed. "I have to get ready."
"But I want to stay in bed, all day, with you, naked." Hank buried his face in her neck.
Kensi laughed and pulled away, earning herself a whine of protest, and slipped into the bathroom.
"You gonna be home tonight?" He called as she began to run the water in the bathtub.
"I don't know, depends on if we have a case or not." She called back.
"Promise you'll call?" He leaned up against the bathroom door and gave her puppy dog eyes.
"I promise." She smirked and rolled her eyes. Hank shook his head and laughed before moving over to the mirror and giving himself the once over.
"I'm thinking of growing out my hair, you think I'd look good with that?" He asked. Kensi stiffened.
"Grow it out?"
"Yeah, you know, not long or anything. Just, scruffy." Hank shrugged. "You know?"
"Yeah." Kensi mumbled before she turned and accidentally knocked a glass off the counter, sending it crashing to the floor, shattering it into pieces.
"Babe, careful." Hank quickly moved to start picking up the shards. Kensi nodded and moved to help before she winced, feeling a shard slice open her foot, allowing blood to drip into the floor.
Kensi swore and hobbled over to sit on the side of the tub. Hank moved over to help.
"No!" She snapped, immediately feeling bad about it. "Sorry, it's just, I got it."
Hank stopped before nodding. "Ok, I'm just gonna go throw these out." He kissed her forehead. "Back in a second."
Alone in the bathroom, Kensi let out a deep breath and tried to calm herself, doing her best to forget about the last time she'd found herself with a bleeding foot in the bathroom.
"Morning." Deeks sung out as he sauntered into the kitchen. He moved to the table and kissed the heads of his children, first 10 year old Neal and then 7 year old Maddison. "Who's ready for their first day of school?"
"Me!" Maddie stuck up her hand and beamed.
"Not me." Neal muttered into his cereal. Deeks just ruffled his hair before moving to kiss his wife good morning.
"What's going on today?"
"Hair appointment at 11, lunch with Amy at 1, these guys get home at 3, and that's pretty much it until you get home." Sasha smiled at her husband. "Neal, did you feed Monty?"
"Yeah mom." He called as the scruffy mutt, well into his twilight years, lazily wagged his tail from his place under Neal's chair.
"Hey Sash?" Deeks called over his shoulder from inside the fridge. "Where's the..."
"On the table." She cut him off and pointed to the milk on the breakfast table. Deeks grinned and kissed her before moving to put the milk into his coffee. "What would I do without you?"
"You'd be drinking your coffee black."
"It's your fault you know. You're the one who got me hooked on putting milk in my java." He told her.
"Oh please, you drink it black at the station anyways." She rolled her eyes and smiled. "Hey missy, rinse those and put them away." She pointed at her daughter who had unceremoniously dumped her breakfast dishes in the sink. Maddie nodded and did as she was told, going about placing the bowl and cup in the cupboard and the spoon in the drawer when something caught her eye.
"Daddy what's this?" She asked with the curiosity that only a seven year old could possess at a hunting knife, about seven inches in length with a crudely carved, polished wood handle and a leather sheath.
Deeks instinctually grabbed the knife, his paternal instincts ignoring for a moment what exactly it was and instead focusing on getting the sharp and dangerous object away from his young daughter. It was only when he looked down at it did his fingers go numb and his heart skip a beat. This wasn't just any knife, this was hers.
"Huh, how did that get in there?" Sasha looked confused before looking to her son. "Neal? Did you put that in the silverware drawer?"
Her son just shrugged and mumbled something in the way of a response. Sasha just shook her head and turned back to her husband. "Hon?"
"What's that mommy?" Maddie asked.
"Oh honey, it's just a knife." Sasha told her daughter. "Right Marty?"
Deeks stared at the knife, turning it over in his hands. "Yeah." He nodded numbly.
"Is it one of your cool, special agent knives?" Neal suddenly perked up at the prospect of something even remotely cool in the house.
Deeks managed a small smile. "Sorry buddy. Sometimes a knife is just a knife."
Sasha nodded. "Now, say goodbye to daddy so he can go to work."
Maddie hugged her dad around the waist. "Bye daddy."
"Bye princess, I'll see you tonight. Bye buddy." He told his son who raised his hand in goodbye. Deeks smiled and started towards the door.
"Martin, leave the knife." Sasha called. Deeks looked down to find that he was indeed still holding the knife.
"Oh, yeah. You know, actually I think I'll take it to the station. It's safer there than around here." He offered her a smile. Sasha smiled back and blew him a kiss before turning back to the kids, allowing Deeks to exit without argument.
As he got into his car, Deeks studied the knife. Sometimes a knife was just a knife, but this one wasn't.
As she drove to work Kensi could barely concentrate on the road. It had been so long since they'd last seen each other, over 10 years. She didn't even know where he was right now or what he was doing. Was he still even in LA?
They had been so good together, perfectly in sync both on and off the job. For the first time in a very long time she'd actually believed that everything was going to work out for her. But in one night that all disappeared. That one night had changed everything.
She had thought about him a few times over the years, fleeting thoughts and passing fancies, but nothing anything like this morning. Dear god she'd not even thought about him like that at her wedding! But for whatever reason, in that moment, Hank wasn't Hank and their bathroom wasn't their bathroom, and that freaked her out way more than she thought it would.
Kensi was snapped out of her daze by a blaring horn and had to suddenly slam on her brakes to avoid t-boning a Beemer as she ran a stop sign.
"Sorry!" She called out her window. The other driver gave her an irritated honk before driving off. Kensi blew out her cheeks and checked to make sure no other cars were coming before continuing on towards OSP. Maybe if she was lucky some terrorist was planning something big that required lots and lots of concentration today. Maybe that way she'd be able to stop thinking about a certain scruffy haired detective and the "what if's" that came along with him.
Deeks left his driveway in a little bit of a daze, almost knocking over his neighbor's trash bins as he drove off.
He didn't even know how that knife had gotten in that drawer. The last time he'd seen it was when he'd found it in one of his boxes after the end. He'd held on to it, in the beginning, as an excuse to see her again. But each time he'd picked up the phone, all he could think of was how she refused to look at him as he was packing, or how he'd heard her heartbroken sobs through the bedroom door that first night. After a while, he'd just stopped trying all together.
He'd been proud of the fact that, over the years, he'd been able to think of Kensi and have it hurt less and less each time until, on the rare moments he did think of her, he was able to do it with a smile. So why now did it feel like someone had taken her knife and jammed in into his chest?
He slammed his hand against the steering wheel of his car and groaned. That one night, that one stupid night had ruined everything for them.
"But it also gave me all this." He told himself. He had a great job, a home, a loving wife, and two beautiful, healthy kids. His life was perfect, if you didn't know the backstory.
Not thinking, he rolled through a stop sign and almost got t-boned by a Cadillac because of it. He blasted his horn to get the other drivers attention and, thankfully, they stopped short.
"Sorry!" A female voice called from the other car. Deeks let out an apologetic honk of his horn before he drove off. He shook his head. Get to the precinct, make it there and there would be plenty of work to distract him from thoughts of a raven haired beauty with the hauntingly mismatched eyes.
Deeks paced back and forth across their little apartment, wringing his hands in nervous anticipation and tugging on the collar of his button down shirt. "Do I have to wear this thing?"
"Yes," Nell scolded him as she finished lighting the candles. "Now would you just calm down?"
"I can't. Would you be able to calm down of you were about to ask Eric to marry you?" Deeks snapped at her, intently regretting it. "I'm sorry Velma, I'm just freaking out here." He blew out his cheeks and sank into the couch.
"Don't worry about it. You guys are Deeks and Kensi. You're meant to work." Nell told him as she sat next to him and rubbed his back in support.
"You think?" He looked at her.
"I know." She smiled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Now, the candles are lite, the flowers are on the table, the deep fried, sugar coated Twinkies are plated, Monty is coming with me for the night, anything else?"
They both thought for a second before Nell snapped her fingers. She reached over and pressed play on the stereo, allowing the romantic music playlist she and Eric had put together for them fill the apartment. "Much better."
"Thank you Velma." He hugged her tight and took a deep breath. "I love you, you know that right?"
"Damn straight." She winked at him. "Good luck." She have him a final smile before she collected Monty and slipped out the door, leaving Deeks sitting on the couch in the empty apartment, bouncing his knee in a state of hyperactive nervous excitement.
Please don't race to bash Hank and Sasha, all questions will eventually be reveled. Please leave your comments in the review box, but just as I show decency in my reviews, all I ask is you do the same for me.