Losing Control
An Agents of SHIELD fanfic by Aisling Yinyr Ngaio
Kill him.
She barely saw anything in her path as she cut her way through the bustling infirmary wing in a fast walk, fists balled, teeth clenched. It didn't even occur to her to stop and think about what she was doing, or where she was going. She had reacted by instinct when they'd heard the news, and now was only hearing one refrain ringing in her ears as she moved.
Kill him.
She was beyond rational thought, beyond her specialist training. She, who prided herself on remaining unemotional and detached from her missions, had crossed a line she'd never intended to cross. She had come to care for this lot of juniors, of Phil's handpicked teammates, and one of them above the rest. The one who invaded her cockpit, made silly little jokes, got into trouble more often than not, and who reached out to others the way she would have done herself, a lifetime ago.
And now her life had been taken deliberately by a man. She didn't care if his wealth or his connections or his new citizenship would protect him. He was just a man, on her Bus, who'd messed with her girl, and he was going to pay, very dearly, in a currency that he'd never expect to.
It wasn't only to Coulson that Skye had meant so much to.
Seeing his bored, unapologetic face was the last straw for her, and she slammed his head into the table without warning, letting loose all the pain and rage she'd been trying to keep a lid on for half her life. Never in all her years had she felt so uncontrolled, not even when she'd wielded the Berserker Staff weeks ago. All she wanted now was hurt, pain. She couldn't, didn't want to stop, not ever, not even when he almost curled up on the floor, whimpering, with his nose - and who knows what else - broken. It didn't give her pleasure, nor did it help her pain, and still she kept going, blinded with emotions, beating him into a pulp without realising how far she was heading.
He fucking shot her. He put two bullets in her and dared to look guiltless while Skye is as good as dead.
It was only when Phil's voice reached her through the red haze of revenge that she stopped herself. Looking at Quinn's bloodied face, she still could not dredge up a trace of satisfaction at the damage she'd inflicted.
He deserved it, and more.
He deserved death. Not her.
Skye was never coming back because of what he'd done.
Left with no purpose, no enemy to kill, no focus for her anger and loss, she finally wept, something she'd only done once before since Bahrain, when she'd heard of Phil's death. There was no energy left to rein in her tears. Her self-control had been stretched thin trying to hold their team – their family – together while there was still hope. But now...
Her little girl was never coming home.
- Finis -