A page of Hermione's diary after an eventful night.
Dear diary,
I don't know what happened, if something happened. I have a boyfriend, I love him to death I can't hurt him, I won't and I just simply can't. He's the best thing that's happened to me since.. Well since ever.. How could I betray him like this, I don't know if I'm supposed to feel guilty, nothing really happened, but somehow everything has changed, everything just feels, seems different. Nothing happened but something did. It was so very wrong, but it felt so right, how could it feel wrong and right at the same time. I wanted to be with him, kiss him, but I didn't. I couldn't. I already felt guilty for feeling so comfortable just leaning against him, running my fingers through his hair, laying my head in the crook of his neck. Smelling his cologne, he smelled delicious, he felt delicious. I wanted to kiss him, taste him, our lips touched so brief. He wanted it too, but I knew it was wrong and I couldn't. I don't know why but he doubted to kiss me, I've never seen him doubting to kiss anyone, why did he doubt, was he afraid I would step back, turn my head. Cause honestly I don't know if I would've, it just all felt so right, like somehow this was meant to happen. But I'm not like that. So why can't I get him out of my head, out of my dreams, I can't stop thinking about the feel of his lips brushing against mine, so soft, it was erotic, sexual and it wasn't even a kiss! Why did I love running my fingers through his hair, down his neck, sniffing up his cologne as my lips softly touched the skin of his neck giving him goose bumps. Why do I love to have that effect on him. He held me, he hugged me he squeezed me even, but why, I don't understand why, I can't get the look he had in his eyes out of my head. He looked so desperate, like he was longing for it, but that can't be. He can have anyone he wants. He changes girlfriends weekly. I need to forget about him, about all of it, It'll only hurt me in the end. It meant nothing, and somehow it's everything.
Love,
H.G.
AN. This is the first in this "serie" I don't know if many will follow, let me know if you want more pages of her diary, please r&r