Alfred the butler had gone to Metropolis to visit his sick uncle, and had left Jim Gordon in charge of Bruce and Cat. Jim, being busy with police work, had left Edward Nygma in charge of the kids. At first, he declined, but the Jim told him, "It'll be really hard. It's kind of a riddle," Ed had dropped his 'date' with Kristen Kringle and headed straight to Wayne Manor.

Except a new adventure awaited the kids. Alfred had told them never to go in his room, and now that he was gone, Cat could find all the new treasures in Alfred's sleeping quarters. One day, they happened to stumble on Alfred's diary.

"Oh my god, it's Alfred's diary!" Selina yelped, jumping with glee.

Bruce stared quizzically. "Diaries are private though. Shouldn't we leave it alone?"

"No way. I want to know what the old man thinks of me. Don't you?"

"I suppose."

Cat flipped through the pages of the diary, trying to find her name. "Oh, look here. It's my first day at the mansion!"

Dear Diary,

A big surprise occurred today when Detective Gordon arrived at the mansion. I trusted the good detective, and he had proven to be a good friend, but I didn't know what to expect when he carried in a police sketch of what was supposedly Master Bruce's parent's killer. Master Bruce talked to Detective Gordon for a little bit, and then called me in.

They had told me they got the sketch from a witness, and that she had to stay with us. I had done a pretty good job with Master Bruce, so I thought I could handle one more kid. I agreed, and that's when things went wrong.

I walked in with Master Bruce to meet her, as she was playing in our hallway. As soon as she came into view, Master Bruce put an arm out and told me to stay put. I didn't know why, but two minutes after he walked over to her and back, he was unable to blink. I asked what was wrong, but he couldn't say anything. Perhaps she had given him rabies?

I took one look at the girl and immediately thought of throwing her back on the streets. Her name was Miss Kyle, and she looked like trouble. She wore black leather that had been torn, and was so tight I was surprised she could breathe. Her hair was scruffy and her eyes had crazy in them, and I turned away when she referred to me as 'Old Man.'

Later that day, I saw Master Bruce lying on our couch with his notebooks out. He was smiling like an idiot and doodling in his notebooks. It had been a while since Master Bruce smiled like that, so I walked over and asked what he was up to. He instantly pulled his notebook away so I couldn't see the pages. That worried me. He was probably thinking about his parents again and was worried I would scream at him. He called it nothing and simply left, but left the notebook on the table. I picked it up and flipped to the newest page.

I was wrong. Instead of the monsters and gory images I was used to, I was greeted with something much worse. Master Bruce had doodled things like Selina Wayne, and Bruce Wayne-Kyle, and even a picture of himself and Miss Kyle holding hands inside of a heart.

My worst nightmares had come true. Master Bruce had been taken in by Miss Kyle's mischievous attitude and overly-tight hipster pants. I had to do something or Thomas Wayne would haunt me in my sleep at night, so I found Master Bruce sitting alone at the kitchen table and approached him. Once again, he was staring dreamily at the wall and smiling, humming a small tune that I later found out to be the love theme from Titanic.

"Master Bruce?" I asked. "Is something the matter?"

"Nothing." he said, and I was about to turn away when he whispered, "Do you know anything about girls, Alfred?"

I turned slowly and hesitantly as if facing a serial killer, and tentatively asked, "Why do you ask?"

Master Bruce motioned me closer and whispered in my ear, "I kind of like Selina."

I froze in my steps, backing away slowly and fearing for my life. That was it. The ghost of Thomas Wayne was going to murder me in my sleep. I slowly tried to distract Master Bruce. "Why are you telling me?"

"Do you think she likes me?"

That was my chance. I broke into a run back up the stairs and up to my bedroom, where I was greeted with Miss Kyle rummaging through my personal belongings. I screamed at her to get out, and she strutted out the door of my room smiling and said, "Whatever you say, Old Man."

In case you're wondering, this isn't part of the Bruce and Cat stories, but you can pretend it is for a little comic relief. I have a bunch of really funny ideas and I'm really excited about this becoming a thing for my page. Enjoy!