Disclaimer: I do NOT own the right to Drawn Together or any references made in this fic.

One day, four people were lying around on the nearest furniture they could find. One was a middle-aged black woman with a foxtail and a hat with fox ears. The other was a furry animal with an exclamation mark for a tail. One was a fantasy video game hero with a blue sword and white hair while another was a fat black and white chick that resembled Betty Boop.

Suddenly, as these four people lay on the furniture looking bored as hell, a big hulking super hero with an S on his chest stormed into the room, broke the door off of its hinges and ran up to the video game hero.

He held the young fantasy hero by his neck and barked, "DID YOU STEAL MY NOSEHAIR TRIMMER?" The young man shook his head and answered, "No, Captain Hero, I would never steal YOUR nosehair trimmer! It smells like shit after you use it!" The super hero, better known as captain hero, slammed the fantasy hero on the wall and retorted, "DAMMIT, XANDIR! I KNOW YOU STOLE MY NAIL CLIPPERS!" This hero, better known as Xandir, gave a cock-eyed stare at Captain Hero and remarked, "I thought you were looking for your nosehair trimmer."

(This sign means that this scene is happening in the confession room) Captain Hero pondered this and stated, "The gay-tard clearly knows too much. I must end this conversation before he finds out about my hidden supply of atom bombs!" After a long pause, he added, "You can edit this, right?" The cameraman shook his head as Captain Hero muttered, "Stupid dick!"

The black woman, Foxy, noticed what was going on, marched up to Captain Hero and stated, "I'm sure he's tellin' the truth! Now put him down before I hurt you!" Captain Hero started to laugh, as he scoffed, "You couldn't even hurt a hippie with AIDS!"

Foxy placed her grip on his wrist and slammed him to the table in a second. Captain Hero stroked his back muttering, "That was a lucky shot, you whore!"

Captain Hero stated, "That Foxy has got one hell of a grip. I bet even Hercules himself couldn't beat her."

As CH exited the room, Xandir approached Foxy and asked, "Why do you think Captain Hero is so mean to me all the time?"

Foxy thought about this and remarked, "Now, Xandir had a point! He and Captain Hero were always getting along for quite some time. Suddenly, something just came up and those two hate each other now! Well, Foxy Love ain't gonna' stand for that! I'm gonna' march right up to Captain Asshole and ask him what's goin' on!"

While all this went on, the fat chick, Toot, looked at the small creature, Ling-Ling, and asked, "Where do we fit into all of this?" Ling-Ling shook his head and remarked (In Asian Gibberish), "I have no idea."

Ling-Ling stared angrily at the camera and stated, "I actually know exactly what's going on! Those stinky jerks think that White Pig and Ling-Ling don't matter. They think of us as useless props that are only good for standing around and being there! Well, Ling-Ling is fed up with it! Ling-Ling and White Pig will make their own animated reality show! It will be called… The Ling-Ling and White Pig Hour!"

Later that day, Captain Hero was walking down the hallway humming a sweet tune.

Captain Hero whistled happily as he stated, "After I heard that Foxy was throwing me a surprise party, I was happier than Pacman at a Power Pill convention! But wait! Why would Foxy tell me about a surprise party if it's supposed to be a surprise? Oh, she must have known that I hate surprises!"

"I actually love 'em!"

The strapping young super hero entered the living room to find that there were no balloons and no cake. All he saw was a pie with a torch sticking out of it. There actually WERE balloons, but instead of saying "Happy Surprise Party" they said "Happy Intervention". To make things worse, there was a sign that said, "This is really an intervention, NOT a surprise party."

Captain Hero was as oblivious as ever, so he sat down, smiled happily at all of his friends, who were now accompanied by a princess named Clara and a yellow what-cha-ma-call-it named Wooldoor Sockbat.

Foxy stood in front of CH and stated, "Captain Ahab Hero, we called you here for one purpose! You are too reckless and you need to be set straight!"

Captain Hero stared in shock as he stated, "She lied to me! This isn't a surprise party! This is an intervention! I don't need another intervention, do I?"

Xandir rubbed his neck and barked, "This time, we're going to change you for the better! My throat can't take your grip any longer! I'm sick and tired of all the SHIT you put me through!"

Xandir continued to rub his neck as he stated, "It really DOES hurt. I'm seriously in more pain than Bugs Bunny was when Elmer Fudd finally caught him."

Princess Clara approached him and said, "It's not just him that suffers in this house. Remember last week when you stuck TV's Patrick Duffy through my ass? You still haven't apologized for it AND you recently stuck Barney the Dinosaur up my vagina just the other day!" CH glared at the princess and retorted, "As if anything can actually go up your vagina! You're Octopusoir devoured the large faggot in two seconds! You don't even HAVE a vagina!"

Clara hung her head low and complained, "It's because of that little fact that I can never find the perfect man for me!"

Foxy shook her head and remarked, "I'm saying that you are out of control. You've been recently tryin' ta' put 'da hurt on people for the last three weeks, two days, six hours, twelve minutes and seven… make that eight seconds!"

Captain Hero shook with anger as he stated, "I am NOT out of control! THEY are the ones who are out of control! They set up this surprise intervention, so does that not make them crazy?"

Foxy turned to the others and stated, "It seems as if he doesn't get it! NOW, Wooldoor!" Wooldoor pulled some chloroform out of his fanny and splashed it all over Captain Hero. As the super hero went into a deep sleep, Foxy glared angrily at Wooldoor and barked, "THAT ain't how you give a person chloroform! You have to force it down his mouth, you jackass!"

Meanwhile, Ling-Ling and Toot had managed to set up the studio for their reality show.

Ling-Ling smiled in triumph and said, "Ling-Ling is very happy with this outcome! Our new reality show 'The Ling-Ling and White Pig Hour' is sure to be a big hit!"

Toot turned the camera on and stated, "We're on, Ling-Ling!" As soon as the camera turned on, the two stopped acting civilized and started fighting over whom got the last bowl of icing.

Will the people ever make Captain Hero see the light? Will "The Ling-Ling and White Pig Hour" be a success? Find out after these commercials!