Author's note:

Disclaimer: HP belongs to J.K. Rowling

A big THANK YOU to my wonderful beta reader Rowan Greenleaf, without you I wouldn't have found the motivation to write this story

I really appreciate reviews

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The Best

She knew that this was going to happen. But no matter how much time you have to prepare yourself for the death of a person you care about it still comes as a shock.

She had seen his hand. She had done excessive research to find a way to save him. She had clung to that little bit of hope, but after a few months she had to admit defeat. And now she was crying on Ron's shoulder.

Dumbledore was dead.

Hermione felt hopeless. How were they supposed to find the Horcruxes and fight Voldemort, how to begin? Were her preparations sufficient? Maybe she forgot something.

Suddenly she felt very small and overwhelmed. All she wanted was to curl into a ball in his arms and wait till everything was over.

Now she finally understood the allusions Dumbledore and Snape had made. Everybody thought Snape was a traitor but she knew better. He had killed Dumbledore because the Headmaster had asked him to. She felt bad for the man she came to care for so much. He was entirely on his own now, the Order thought he was a traitor, but he was no Death Eater; he had to kill the man who had been his mentor.

A wave of nausea went through Hermione and she had to swallow hard and take a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and her stomach.

She thought back of the last months, they seemed so far away and blurry already.

"Here is a list with useful potions for your little field trip, Miss Granger," Snape drawled. "I already prepared the more complex ones for you; the rest you should find fairly easy to make yourself."

Hermione's eyes were as big as saucers. "Thank you so much professor, that's so kind of you."

"No need to get all mushy here, Dumbledore ordered me to help you prepare for your quest," was the dry reply.

But for a second she thought that she saw something like concern in his eyes.

To her big surprise, Snape had joined her in her research to find a cure to the curse that slowly killed the Headmaster. And over time the DADA Professor had started to prepare her for the tasks ahead. At first it would be some information on a potion or a new hex or spell that he randomly mentioned, and the brunette would absorb everything like a sponge. Then he would give her books to read and later even train her in duelling. During the time she spent with the professor she formed the believe that under the sarcastic, unapproachable, mean and slightly greasy exterior was a loyal, courageous and caring core; even though he did his very best to not show it to her.

As usual she spent some weeks of her summer holidays with Harry and Ron. At the Burrow, Molly swamped them with work. They made preparations for Bill and Fleur's wedding, from sunrise till late at night.

"I swear if I should ever marry I'll just have a small celebration," Hermione cursed while polishing the silverware.

Her thoughts went to Severus, again, she was worried about him. Every night since she had arrived at the Burrow, she tried to write a letter. She wanted him to know that there was still someone who cared. But she couldn't find the words, and so all the letters ended up in the fire.

X

Dear Professor,

I know you did what he asked you to do. I can only guess how you must feel right now, but I want you to know that I deeply care about you. Thank you for everything you've done for us so far. I hope we'll meet again.

Please be careful and take care of yourself.

Yours,

H.G.

Severus reread the note for the third time, committing it to memory while considering if he should toss it into the roaring fireplace

Stupid girl!

How could she be so careless as to send me this letter! What if it had gotten into the wrong hands? Dunderhead, stupid, reckless Gryffindor!

It was 4 o'clock in the morning when the beautiful snow owl delivered the letter. Severus paced up and down in his bedroom.

Her letter had awoken several feelings inside him. He felt incredibly lonely; his promise to Dumbledore and his responsibility seemed too heavy for him to bear, but most of all he felt guilty. He believed that he could not be forgiven for all the things he had done, no matter what he did to make things right. They would never be right again. He could never forgive himself.

And there was this stupid girl thanking him and telling him that she cared about him. He didn't deserve this. He swallowed hard and it took all of his self control to not cry. But he knew that if he allowed all those feelings to rise to the surface he would fall apart.

He put the letter into the inner pockets of his robe.

X

She knew that Patronus.

It was his, so he must be here somewhere.

Harry followed the doe as if he was in a trance, and she followed him silently.

She stared intensely into the night around her. A ray of moonlight suddenly shone through the trees and for a moment she saw a figure moving close by. She went that direction and almost bumped into him.

He turned around, wand raised. When he saw her he lowered his wand but seemed to tense even more. While Hermione was standing there she was suddenly overwhelmed by her feelings. For a split second she couldn't think rationally at all and when her brain started to function again she had already thrown her arms around him. She held onto him desperately.

Hesitantly Severus started to pat her back lightly. But after a few seconds, he had to give in; it had been so long since he had been close to anyone. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close to him. They stayed like this what felt like forever, both smelling the other's scent, comforting and drawing strength from each other to move on.

Finally Hermione looked up. His face was illuminated by the moonlight. She searched for his eyes and saw only sadness in them. She brushed his lips tentatively with hers.

He stiffened, but then he hungrily returned the kiss. She started licking his lips asking for entrance. Their tongues circled around each other teasingly. Then they moved on to explore each other's mouth and taste.

They felt the other one by running their hands up and down their bodies, caressing the other one's neck, cheek, nose, ears, running their fingers though each other's hair. Finally they pressed their bodies close together in a tight embrace wishing that this moment would never end.

X

The next time she saw him was the day of the final battle, and he was lying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, dying. Ron and Harry had already left with the memories, in their rush they hadn't even noticed that she did not come with them. Hermione fell on her knees. In a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding she pressed her hand to his wound since no spell she knew would help.

"Don't die, Severus," she whispered.

"It's too late Hermione."

She put kisses all over his face and he felt her tears on his skin. "Don't leave me."

But his skin looked translucent already and she was covered in his blood; she knew it was inevitable.

For the first and last time he looked straight into her eyes, and this time they showed the affection that he had not dared to admit to feel for her.

Then his eyes became glazed and unfocused and with his last breath he whispered: "You deserve the best."