Title: Twist the Tune
Author: P.L.S.
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are property of Stargate (II) productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money was exchanged. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations and story are property of the author.
Summery: AU- Colonel Kawalsky walks in on Teal'c as he's listening to some music that was written by Dr. Gardener's ex-boyfriend. So why is it that the song sounds like a mix of Abadonian and Gou'ald?
Warnings: Uh, Jack's a general (which to me is scary even if is canon.) Really, you just need to worry about the severe AU factor. And dead slash relationships- I can't write a straight Daniel. So, he has exes in the forms of Davis, Raynor, and Gardener (which is canon het.)
Author's Notes: I just wanted to turn someone into an underground rock front man... the rest just happened to accompany that. This is a one shot- don't ask for more. I'm trying to get the next chapter of Nabu done.
ooOooOoo
"Knock, knock." said Kawalsky as he opened the door to Teal'c's room, expecting to find his jaffa friend in his meditation pose. He was surprised to see the big man with headphones on nodding to music and laughing at some of the part of a song. To tell the truth, Charlie had never seen his friend look so normal.
Teal'c saw him and took off the headphones, "Hello, Colonel Kawalsky."
"Hey Teal'c. Whatcha listening to?"
"Dr. Gardener told me of a band that recorded old Tau'ri hymns from the days just after the Choppa'ai was buried. The one I was listening to was dedicated to a nearly forgotten goddess of fermentation and distillation."
"Waita minute, beer and whiskey? There was a goddess of beer and whiskey?"
"Indeed. I know her as a well loved and much welcomed gou'ald, all system lords leave her alone to develop her drinks and trade for her spirits. This song, while slightly disrespectful of other gods, is a great tribute to her skill."
"Can I listen?"
"Of course, Colonel Kawalsky." Teal'c touched the back button on the boombox and unplugged the headphones and Charlie heard great rock music, but the words sounded like gou'ald or something.
"What language is this?"
"Dr. Gardener told me that it was thought to be the spoken version of Sumerian, but to me it sounds like a variation of gou'ald with errors in pronunciation."
"So could the singer be a gou'ald?"
"Dr. Gardener has assured me that no one in the band is gou'ald. She once studied with the singer who also writes the songs. It is how she knew of his recordings."
"Who is he?"
"A man called Daniel Jackson." Charlie frowned, he knew that Raynor had said something about the man in passing one day. What it was he had forgotten, but it was important, at least that was what his gut said.
"You think that maybe this Jackson could speak gou'ald? I know you're trying to teach it to the soft science geeks, but you and I both know that even getting them to a child's level of understanding is gonna take too long." Charlie frowned. Everyday, because no one could speak the language or read more than bits and pieces, soldiers were being killed when if they had just had complete intel, they could have made it or have just avoided the mission. The anthro department had long backlogs of translations and despite the new faces brought in, nothing was getting faster because no one could figure out the alien words.
"It is possible that Daniel Jackson could learn many dialects of gou'ald quickly. I have heard recordings of a great many languages that he has done and Dr. Raynor has mentioned that at last count Daniel Jackson was fluent in twenty-two languages." Teal'c said with a nod.
"It's gonna be a hard sell, no matter how many languages this wonder boy can speak. How am I gonna tell Jack let alone the Pentagon that we need to hire a rock star to figure out what the country's brightest can't even start to comprehend. Maybe Sarah can help, I donno." Charlie ran a hand through his hair, "Gawd, nothin' like a challenge, eh, Teal'c?"
"Indeed."
-
"Lemme get this straight." Jack looked hard at the four people in front of him, "You want to send out someone to strong arm a punk rocker into coming to the SGC to do what thirty-seven Ph.D.s can't?" All nodded at him, totally serious, it wasn't even close to April. "Fer cryin' out loud, are you people all out of your minds!"
"General, the only reason we never mentioned Daniel before was because we didn't really think he'd willingly join." Raynor said and Gardener elbowed him.
"You also didn't want him to out shine you again." she snapped, "And to face the fact that I snatched him from you."
"He dumped you too! Besides it was a stupid bet." Raynor snarled at the dyed blond.
"You both dated this man?" asked Jack, not daring to believe that his two most senior archaeologists were fighting like children over something so stupid.
"Yes." both answered then glared at each other.
"You owe me ten dollars, Colonel Kawalsky." muttered Teal'c as Charlie smirked and nodded.
"Good eye. You gotta real talent there, buddy."
"It was needed within the courts of the gou'ald. These wagers help to keep my skills from growing weak with disuse."
"Well, you still gotta teach me it." Jack just started letting his head drop, repeatedly, against his desk. Running the SGC was at best insane, but this was just plain surreal.
"Just give me the information and get the hell outta my office." Jack ground out. He didn't say anything, but he saw that wink that Charlie have the geeks and that it was returned. He had just been played, played like a goddamned trumpet. That confirmed it for Jack. Charlie only really tried to trick him into stuff that he felt was life or death.
As soon as the door was closed the paper was faxed to Major Davis and he was dialling the lesion's cell number. Davis was good at talking people into things, Jack knew that from personal experience. Of all the people Jack trusted, he had faith that the good major could hunt down and trap the reluctant geek who really didn't seem like that much of a geek from the profile given by Charlie and his two trained rock hunters.
-
It was a nice afternoon, not that it mattered. All that really was important was that he search and destroy all annoying bits of adverts for penis enhancement, drugs to make his breasts grow to porn star size, and free vacations or video games. Sometimes the adverts were good for a laugh, but mostly they just cluttered up his inbox and prevented him from receiving large amounts of photographed tablets that his fans in the anthropology fields sent him to inspire new songs. Oh, look. That's a new one- a literacy program. Actually that was kind of ironic, sending an e-mail with only words to try to sell to those who can't read. He was defiantly forwarding that to everyone.
"Eh, Dan?" The balding bass player cracked open his door. Daniel smiled and waved him in.
"Yeah, Chris?" Christian looked kind of strung out, but then again Daniel knew the man was prone to blowing things out of proportion.
"These guys are here to see you." Daniel looked beyond the bassist and saw two very stiff looking men in blue military uniforms. He looked at the uniforms more closely and nodded when he came to the conclusion that they were US Air Force, one a captain, one major, and both, while probably what the military called 'desk jockeys', were more than capable of beating the crap out of anyone. He could also tell they weren't here for a couple of autographs or free tickets. Then again, Bago Kanta was not mainstream by any standards, and thus no one ever asked for his autograph or tickets. Daniel just knew nothing good was going to come from this.
"Crap. Chris, go tell Mike that I might not make practice now." Chris practically ran from the room and Daniel sighed. Quickly he logged out and closed his laptop then bit the inside of his cheek. He had no clue how to greet the military men.
"Dr. Daniel Jackson?" asked the captain. Now Daniel was scared, no one called him by his title. He practically forgot most days that he had three Ph.D.s. It was not a good thing to be called doctor, it meant that someone ratted about his knack with dead languages, or they were here about his theory on the age of several ancient cultures. Since they were military he was putting his money on his language skills and them wanting him to create a code or something.
"Just tell me what you want so I can say no." Daniel said. The major smiled.
"Dr. Gardener and Dr. Raynor both said you'd say that." He said, "I'm Major Davis and this is Captain Openbrier."
"Great, you know my two exes. Now I really am dreading what you want from me." The major laughed.
"You dated them both? God, you must be a saint." Davis said with a grin, "Lord only knows how often those two end up bickering over the stupidest things. Drives everyone to distraction."
"Uh, I'm kind of part of that whole problem. Up until I started dating Sarah, they were best friends. Then Stephen kind of seduced me away from her until I got sick of them both and also screwed up my academic career. Luckily, Bago started having some good turns and we collected a bit of a loyal following, right around the time that the big names in the archeolinguistic field started inferring that I was talking about spacemen from Mars as opposed to just giving a new look at man's cultural development." Daniel let out a huff of breath, "Ah, fuck 'em all anyhow. I'm having fun and they will be called on their close-mindedness soon enough."
"How would you like proof that you're right about the roots of civilisation?" asked Davis.
"I'm guessing that it has the words 'top secret' burned into it, otherwise I would have heard something from my contacts in academia." Daniel said casually. Davis sighed.
"True enough. I can't really tell you anything unless you sign a nondisclosure agreement, and I can't offer it unless you agree to work with the US armed forces for at least a month." Daniel smirked at Davis who was very tempted to squirm under the gaze.
"I think I know the secret. Time travel or aliens, nothing else fits. Either way, I still say nope, but hey, who knows. I just might have time to do a few translations from here. Sarah has my e-mail addy." Daniel said.
"Why won't you even consider it?"
"Nothing is worth having to work with my two exes again. Besides knowledge should be shared not feared." Daniel smiled at Davis and let a bit of wickedness creep into his eyes, "Besides, would you really trust me with anything."
Davis grinned, "I'd be willing to trust you more than I trust myself." Openbrier looked totally confused and Davis and Daniel shared a smile over it, "Captain, would you please go inform Generals O'Neill and Vidrine that I might need a bit more time to talk with Dr. Jackson."
"Yes, sir." snapped the captain and Daniel was amused as the man left in the same hurry that Christian had departed before.
"So, did they find out we dated?" asked Daniel with a lazy smile. Paul laughed.
"Don't ask, don't tell. Besides, Vidrine wouldn't have let me come if he thought I knew you."
"But I'm guessing this O'Neill would have." said Daniel and Paul took up a seat on the coffee table which was the only clear place to sit in the studio apartment.
"O'Neill is a bit unorthodox, but he's good at what he does. If you did join up, you'd be reporting to him. He told me that because Raynor and Gardener are your exes he couldn't in good conscience put them as your superiors. Not to mention that once he found out you aren't a traditional geek, he was wondering just how a three times Ph.D. could just up and leave the school scene and become a punk rocker." Paul said.
"Blame Oxford, I do." quipped Daniel, "What do you think of the hair? Chris and Max did it last night." Paul looked over the thin red, blue, and green streaks in the dirty blond hair.
"I'd of left out the red. You spike it up for your shows, right?"
"'Course. I'm not wild about it all, but apparently it looks brilliant under the lights." Daniel frowned, "How long are you in town?"
"This mission is totally up to me, how long are you booked for this place?" Paul asked.
"Oh yeah, this is our home, sort of. Max's husband owns and runs this club, we come here and record and test new material. We should have our new cd finished in a couple of weeks and are booked for Baltimore in three." Paul nodded, it fit with what little he knew of Daniel's lifestyle now. He knew Daniel from a lecture he attended in college but didn't really get to know him until Bago Kanta was formed and touring. A few months later, they dated casually and they would meet up all over the world. But that was two years ago and now they were just friends who would go clubbing together if it was possible.
"Where in Baltimore?" asked Paul.
"There's a small college doing a punk festival. Weird as I've ever heard of, but their anthro department has nearly blackmailed me into a guest lecture as well. Apparently, my reconstruction of various dead languages as well as my translations are making waves among the small schools, field archaeologists, and the more liberal of the historians." Daniel shrugged, "I'm more interested in digging out my mother's starts on Linear B. I remember it was her pet project just before New York."
"And is that the bribe?"
"For the lecture on ancient songs, ballads, and hymns? Yeah. The head there was her friend and confidant." Daniel hugged himself and Paul bit his lip. It wasn't fair that Daniel didn't let anyone close enough to try to help him when he was hurting like this. Paul watched as Daniel buried his hurts again, "Paul?"
"Yeah?"
"How much am I needed on your top secret project?"
"Scale of one to ten?" Daniel nodded, "Seventy-nine. Dan, listen. Everyday good soldiers and scientists are dying because no one can give them the information they need. We run across whole worlds of people who need help, but we can't do anything because we don't understand something or what we need is in a script that only a few on Earth can even hope to recognise."
"So it's aliens. Crap." Daniel sighed, "Paul, can I do the job remotely?"
"Some, but you don't do anything by halves." Daniel smiled at the fond look that Paul gave him.
"No. I know. Damnation. Let me do it from e-mail for two months. After Baltimore, I'll go, but I can't just up and ditch Bago."
"Yeah. You know, maybe you could talk Chris and Mike into coming too. I dug up their pasts before, biochemists and geologists are more than welcome. Max could come too, if you thought that she would."
"What? Do you see her ditching music for sociology?"
"Nope, but if you wanted, I could get her on the project." Paul said, "Besides, I don't want Bago to break up. Nor does the anthro department you'd work with. You have fans from other worlds now too." Daniel couldn't stop the laugh.
"Oh God! You mean to tell me people visiting Earth are listening to my cd's?"
"It was because of your extraterrestrial following that General O'Neill found out about your gift with languages. Your Egyptian and Sumerian is accurate according to one of the aliens, on his world the languages are still spoken in everyday life." Paul said and Daniel's jaw dropped. Paul was delighted to see a fire in the eyes of his friend turn into infernos of hunger and wonder.
"Really? The implications are enormous. I... Damn, now I have to go. Gimmie a month, I know I can get Max along with Chris and Mike to come too. Paul, I don't care what you have to do, but you have to help me get everything settled. Pull whatever strings you must, but as soon as I'm done with that festival-lecture set, I want to be on a plane headed to wherever this is all centred. Send me prep material, reports on whatever Stephen and Sarah are up to, information on everything. I also need to talk with whoever's going to be my boss."
"I'll have General O'Neill call you A.S.A.P. He's a good guy, a bit ruthless when things are going to hell, but he's all about safety and keeping people alive." Paul said and Daniel nodded.
"Great." Paul was tempted to laugh as he saw that Daniel was already a billion light years away and mentally working on about twenty things at once.
-
Daniel waved off Butch, Max's little brother who also happened to look like he was more of a titanic pillar rather than the nice guy he really was. Butch was the club's security officer/bouncer, and he was good at it. The older man Butch was trying to head off was military to the core, but had at least worn comfortable clothes and attempted to look casual.
"Dr. Jackson?" asked the man.
"Yeah, but call me Daniel."
"I'm General O'Neill."
"Okay. Paul said you'd call, not call on me." Daniel smiled and lead the man to the back rooms, away from the music filling in the time between sets.
"Yeah, well, I'm avoiding a few people and this was as good of an excuse as any." said O'Neill. Daniel nodded as he shut the door to the green room.
"Gotcha. Beer?" Daniel opened up the mini fridge at O'Neill's nod and tossed the guy a Guinness.
"So, why'd you want to talk to me? Davis said you were pretty sold on it all."
"Yeah, but I just needed to be sure I wasn't going to be working for a canonical ass." Daniel said with an artless shrug.
"So."
"Yeah."
"Okay."
"Okay." O'Neill frowned.
"Waita minute. Paul?"
"Yeah, I've known the man for a few years. He's one of my better friends."
"So that's why he didn't flip when I told him to hunt down a punk rocker." Daniel took a pull of his beer and nodded.
"Yeah, Paul is one of the very few I still talk to who knows me from before this all." Daniel shrugged again, "I'm glad to see that he didn't tell anyone."
"You wanted it to be kept a secret?" O'Neill studied Daniel, he was getting rather confused about it all now. Nothing was quite adding up anymore.
"Well, duh. In school, I got a few offers from people in uniforms to do code work or other things along that line. I always got bad feelings about them and turned them down them immersed myself in public places and work until I was sure they were gone. Paul knows, and did me a few favours to hide me and my skills from the wrong people." Daniel said matter-of-factly
"Oh."
"But Paul convinced me that this project of yours is important and that I'm needed. He also spoke highly of you, seems there are only a handful of people he thinks could be trusted with running whatever it is, and you are right there at the top of his list."
"Really? Wow, Davis likes me, he really likes me." O'Neill did a fake and very over the top sniff and Daniel shook his head.
"Done with your Sally Field moment?"
"No, but for you, anything." O'Neill drawled and drank a bit more of his own beer.
"I foresee much sarcasm, insane jokes, and many misunderstandings, but overall a good working relationship, if you don't mind my very odd ways of thinking through things."
"Fun. You just might be the geek I learn to like."
"What! You don't love me? How dare you lead me on like a fool! I thought we were getting married, but now I see you only wanted me for my brain." Both men cracked up as they saw the thunderstruck look on the faces in the now open door. They clinked their bottles together as Daniel left to get ready for the next set and invited O'Neill to stay or at least leave a hotel and room number where he was staying.
Overall, Daniel was looking forward to it all. From everything Paul was sending him, to meeting the general who was to be his boss, the future was looking brighter than the one he had seen coming up just a few weeks ago. Aliens, intergalactic travel, new cultures, proof that he was right when he said that hieroglyphs had to have come from some older culture and that the pyramids were much older than popular theories said, and his entire band was convinced to follow him to this new life- what more could any one ask? Well, regular sex, strong coffee, and good chocolate would be nice too, but he wasn't going to die without sex.