Disclaimer: The characters in this story are from the tv show Scarecrow and Mrs. King and do not belong to me. I have not received any money for writing this. The words in italics were taken from the original episode Flight to Freedom. The section of poetry is from The Secret Heart by Robert Peter Tristram Coffin (the entire poem is at the end of the story).
Explanation: This is a filler for Flight to Freedom. When Lee and Amanda had to stay the night on board the Mata Hari II, they argued over whether or not Lee could leave a candle lit because total darkness makes him nervous and Amanda has trouble sleeping if there's a light on. This piece is about who won the argument and why. (I checked the candle on the table when they got up the next morning because I just had to know myself.)
The Candle Flame
By Jestress
"I'm not gonna get any sleep all night," Amanda complained. "I'll blow it out as soon as you go to sleep."
They had been arguing over whether or not Lee could have a candle burning while he was on watch and Amanda slept. Although Amanda could sympathize with Lee's story about not liking the dark because it reminded him of the catacombs in Istanbul, where he had once been on a mission, it was getting late, and she was tired. When she was tired, her sympathy tended to wear thin, and the light from the candle was shining in her eyes. She had already tried to put out the candle's flame twice, but Lee kept relighting it.
When Amanda had delivered her final threat, she half-hoped that Lee would simply give in and put the candle out himself, but she knew that it wasn't too likely. As she lay there with the light keeping her awake, her irritation with the light warred with the guilt she felt for wanting Lee to give up this small source of comfort. It wasn't that he was asking her to put up with anything big, but why did it have to be something that kept her awake when she was so tired?
After a moment, Amanda heard the rustle of Lee's blanket and the creak of the floor boards as Lee got up from his seat. Amanda debated about whether or not to tell him that the candle was okay and that he didn't really have to put it out, but it turned out that he wasn't moving to blow out the candle. Amanda lifted her head as Lee sat down on the end of her bench.
"What are you doing?" she asked as Lee settled in near her head.
"Lie back down. Close your eyes," Lee said. "I'm making sure that you get to sleep before I do."
"What?" Amanda asked, confused.
"I think I can help you get to sleep even with the candle lit," Lee said.
"How?" Amanda was suspicious. Lee had always been a gentleman when they were on assignment together, but she had no idea what he was planning.
"I'm going to hypnotize you," Lee said, smiling. "I know that you don't really believe that you're an easy subject for hypnosis, but I think I can do it."
Skeptically, Amanda asked, "You're going to hypnotize me?"
It was really too late and she was too tired for games, but Lee's gentle smile helped change her mind.
"Put your head down," he insisted, "and just listen to my voice."
Amanda sighed. There was really nothing to lose, except more sleep. Maybe if she let Lee try his little hypnosis trick and it didn't work, he'd let her blow out the candle. She laid back down and closed her eyes.
As soon as her eyes were closed, she felt Lee's fingertips rest gently on her temple. They moved in slow, soothing circles as he talked.
"It's been a busy day," Lee said softly. "You've just had a light but delicious meal with a handsome man . . ."
"Who is very modest."
"Shhhh. Now, dinner is over, and you're feeling sleepy. It's time to rest."
Actually, Amanda was feeling a little silly, but Lee's fingers felt good massaging her temple. The palm of his hand effectively shielded her eyes from the candle's glow. She let him continue.
"The cushions beneath you are soft, and you're wrapped in a warm blanket," Lee said in a slow, steady voice. "Let your muscles relax. Sink down into the cushions."
It was actually kind of relaxing. The massaging was easing some of the tension, and Amanda was finding it easier to relax. If he kept this up, maybe she could sleep after all.
"Let yourself drift," Lee continued. "Let the boat rock you to sleep."
The boat wasn't moving very much now that they were in dock, but it was pretty soothing, now that Amanda thought about it.
"Nearby is a man who cares for you. While you sleep, he keeps watch."
A man who cares for you? That part had Amanda waking up, not going to sleep. She knew, of course, that Lee cared about her, but to hear him admit it out loud was something else. Lee's fingers continued their gentle circles on her temple while she waited to hear what he would say next.
"While he is there, you are safe. Nothing can disturb you."
It was true. She was always safe with Lee. He was always there for her. Lee would never let anything happen to her. Amanda found herself starting to relax again.
"You sleep peacefully, knowing that you're safe. The watcher feels peaceful knowing that you are safe and close by. Let yourself feel that peace."
Having Lee close always made her feel better. It was touching, knowing that her safety and her presence were also reassuring to Lee. It occurred to her that without the candle lit, Lee wouldn't be able to see her. He couldn't tell at a glance that she was still there, sleeping peacefully. Was that part of what was troubling him?
"Let the feeling of peace wash over you, like a wave. The soft blanket around you warms you all the way through, like a gentle flame."
That was awfully poetic for Lee. Come to think of it, it reminded her of a poem she'd read in school, years ago. She only remembered part of it, but it was about a father checking on his son while he slept. The father had a candle, too. No, wait, maybe he'd had a match.
The words came back to Amanda slowly:
"The man had struck a match to see
If his son slept peacefully.
He held his palms each side the spark
His love had kindled in the dark.
His two hands were curved apart
In the semblance of a heart.
He wore, it seemed to his small son,
A bare heart on his hidden one . . ."
"Let everything drift away. You are surrounded by warmth and softness and peace."
Amanda was feeling warm and peaceful. Her thoughts drifted a bit, but the image of a candle flame reflected in hazel eyes stayed with her as she fell asleep.
Hours later, Lee nudged Amanda awake so that she could keep watch while he slept. It was nearly dawn. As Lee had predicted, he'd stayed awake almost the whole night. Had he stayed next to her the entire time she'd slept, or had he just sat down in that spot a moment ago so that he could wake her? Amanda wasn't sure.
As Lee settled down on his own bench to sleep, Amanda noticed that the candle was still lit. It had burned down most of the way, but even with the first faint signs of the rising sun on the horizon, she didn't have the heart to put the flame out while Lee slept.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The Secret Heart
By Robert Peter Tristram Coffin
Across the years he could recall
His father one way best of all.
In the stillest hour of night
The boy awakened to a light.
Half in dreams, he saw his sire
With his great hands full of fire.
The man had struck a match to see
If his son slept peacefully.
He held his palms each side the spark
His love had kindled in the dark.
His two hands were curved apart
In the semblance of a heart.
He wore, it seemed to his small son,
A bare heart on his hidden one,
A heart that gave out such a glow
No son awake could bear to know.
It showed a look upon a face
Too tender for the day to trace.
One instant, it lit all about,
And then the secret heart went out.
But it shone long enough for one
To know that hands held up the sun.