When she didn't come downstairs at eight o'clock like she had for two weeks straight, so he decides to take her breakfast to her. But first he peers out the kitchen window one more time. He had become more paranoid in the last weeks, because he was trying with everything in him to protect the woman he once loved and the baby that could possibly be his- the baby he hoped was his. He couldn't believe that his dad would want to kill Ava just because she saw him kill AJ. He couldn't even believe he killed AJ. The man who was all about family and truth and honor- who had encoded those ideals onto him or maybe that was the military school he had been forced to go to, either way, it didn't matter.
He knows that his life will become more complex once a baby is added to it, but he couldn't help but hoping wishing that his time with Ava was represented by this little baby. He had been so in love with her. Sure at the beginning they were just using each other, but it changed so quickly. Loving her had showed him that he had never really loved Kiki. The love he had had for Ava was deep and profound and real. He had never felt anything like he felt for her.
He puts the plates on the tray and grabs the handles. He takes the all too familiar path to his room, the one that will be her room for the foreseeable future, and quietly opens the door. He smiles as he walks to the dresser and sets the tray on the top of it. She's lying on her side facing toward the door, and her arms are awkwardly placed under the side of her stomach- the pillow that was once supporting her abdomen is laying on the floor.
He walks over to her and pushes some of her hair out of her face, like he used to. He would always wake up before her and he would always just watch her sleep. He would watch her chest go up and down with breath and every time she would inhale it felt like the universe would wait for her to exhale. He could've watched her all day, he would've if she had ever given him the opportunity to.
He's been trying to avoid being in close proximity with her, because it is still so hard not to reach out and pull her close and kiss her. He hates his dad a little bit more now, because if they had never slept together the baby would most certainly be his and they would most likely still be together.
He squats down and picks up the pillow that he knows she uses to support her growing stomach. He gently moves her hands and puts the pillow back in its place. She barely moves and he's not surprised- he's heard her tossing and turning in the middle of the night. He just wants her to understand that no one is going to come looking for her as long as she stays out of sight. He honestly thinks that his dad has no clue that she's still in town; he probably assumes she's as far away as possible right now.
His hands end up on her stomach and he lets out a deep breath. This baby's existence has conflicted him since he found out about it. However, as Ava and Kiki had both pointed out- the baby was related to him no matter what and he had the right to love him or her. He can imagine this little human being that they could've possibly created together. He can imagine a little baby that looks a little like him and a little like Ava and he can't help but love it with everything that he has. He kneels down so that he is eye level with her abdomen, his lips are close and his voice is but a whisper.
"Hey little one. I can't call you little guy or little girl, cause we don't know yet, I think we could probably find out though because you're getting pretty big in there, huh? You're growing nice and strong so that you can come out and meet your mom, right? And me, I guess. I'm your dad, well maybe, but I hope I am. You're going to be born into a big mess of people trying to hurt your mom and your Uncle Julian, your sister and me trying to protect her, but you'll be safe and you'll be loved, so very loved. I'll make sure of that personally and your mom already loves you so much. I've caught her talking to you more times than I can count in these past two weeks. I'll keep her safe while you're still in there, okay? And then when you get here, I'll take care of the both of you, I promise. I don't know if you're my kid, but if you are…I'll be the best dad to you that I possibly can be."
The baby kicks against his hand and he smiles, it's the first time he's ever felt it kick and it feels special to him, like his kid is acknowledging him as his dad. Everything he said is the truth; he won't let anyone hurt them. He'll pick up a gun and put himself in between Ava and whoever is trying to hurt her if it comes to that, even though the thing with Max still haunts him sometimes. He will protect them.
Ava lets out a long groan and he hesitantly removes his hands from her stomach, because he doesn't want to frighten her when she fully wakes up. Even when they were together, she always ended up looking surprised that he was still lying beside her the next morning.
"Mo…Morgan?"
She's stuttering and her voice has this sleepy undertone to it that makes him smile. Even with all the things he knows she may has done, her sleepy voice makes her sound so innocent. Her eyes aren't even open, but she knows it's him- he wouldn't let any one up here even if they weren't here to hurt her.
"Yeah, hey, I brought your breakfast up. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"No, baby shifted or kicked or something, woke me up."
"That was probably my fault, I was talking to him or her."
"Him…"
He looks at her questionably.
"You know? For sure?"
She slowly shakes her head.
"Just a... feeling."
She absentmindedly moves toward the middle of the bed and he takes the opportunity to move from his kneeling position to sit on the bed. He watches her closely as she pulls the comforter up to her chin; it looks like she could sleep for a while longer. She never liked sleeping late when they were together. It was like from the second her eyes opened, she was ready to embrace the day.
"Ava?"
"Hmmm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Mhmm."
"Why haven't you found out the sex of the baby? I mean you can, right?"
She lets out a small sigh, opening her eyes and sitting up in the bed. Her hands automatically find their way to her midsection, fingers gently caressing the skin where the baby's skin makes contact with hers.
"I'm scared."
She looks up to him and he sees the tears forming in her eyes. He doesn't ask why, however, because he knows she's going to tell him. They've been working on the honesty thing over the past weeks, because Morgan wants to be able to trust her if the baby turns out to be his. He wants to be able to successfully co-parent with her if they can never be together again.
"This pregnancy is high risk, Dr. Westbourne made it perfectly clear to me from the very beginning that I could lose this baby at any moment because of my age and two weeks ago when I had those cramps- I thought it was happening and it was terrifying. The one thing I'm supposed to be able to do is protect this baby while I'm carrying him or her and I can't even do that correctly. I'm afraid of losing this baby, I love him or her so much already, but knowing, for sure, if it's a boy or a girl makes it realer. Knowing for sure it's a boy means wanting to go pick out furniture for his nursery and the outfit I'll bring him home from the hospital in and picking out his name and what if I do that and then lose him? I'd die, Morgan, your father wouldn't have to kill me- I wouldn't be able to go on, I wouldn't want to go on."
She's crying and Morgan can't think of doing anything else but reaching out and pulling her close, so that's what he does. He lets himself hold her and lets her cry on his chest and for once things feel like they're okay again. Maybe he can allow himself to trust her again.
"Hey, it's going to be okay. Ava, you're not going to lose this baby. You're doing a perfect job at keeping this baby safe. I'm going to keep both of you safe; you're safe with me. I hope you know that."
Her tears subside and she pulls herself away from him slowly, almost like she doesn't want him to let her go and he's okay with that, because he doesn't want to let her go. She smiles at him and then down at her stomach. She ends up pulling his hand to her abdomen and he feels his, possibly his, baby kicking.
"I believe you and I'm pretty sure he does too."
They smile at each other and he leans over to kiss her forehead. It's not intimate or anything like that. It's simply him comforting her in her moment of weakness. His hand stays on her abdomen as he pulls back and she looks speechless. He laughs under his breath at her expression, it's a perfect mix of shock and awe.
"Thanks for making us feel safe, Morgan."
They're silent for the longest time, the only thing they hear is the water hitting the pier on the waterfront, that is until her stomach growls, which makes them both laugh out loud. Morgan looks back at the breakfast he had brought up.
"Well, you can eat the cold eggs that I made you with cold toast or we can go downstairs and make you some hot, fresh food, it's up to you."
Ava grins at him and jumps when the baby kicks.
"Well, I think he'd prefer if his mom ate some hot food, if that's okay with you."
Morgan nods and hops off the bed, sticking his hand out for Ava to grab so he can help her off the bed. She grabs his hand and he pulls her up. They go downstairs together and she sits at the kitchen island as he makes her eggs and butters her toast. He's struck by how normal this feels to him, like it's meant to be. He looks over his shoulder to her.
"Ava…?"
"Yeah?"
"All three of us are going to be okay, I promise."
She smiles at him and looks down at her hand that is resting on top of her abdomen for a few seconds before looking back up at him. He's turned around again, his body turned toward the stove, every once and a while he looks at the door and the windows to make sure no one is coming. She's felt safer here with him for the last two weeks than she has in a while and maybe he's right. Maybe they'll all be okay after all.
